Chapter 17: Chapter 17

"Why don't you just work for my company?" Chaos uttered.

I stared at him and then continued to caress the hair of my son who was sleeping soundly on my thigh.

"I am okay with my job, Chaos," I replied.

We are currently in my condo now. I took my son home after I picked him up from his house earlier.

"Why don't you just accept your former manager's offer? You are pushing yourself too hard on that job, Jazzie," he said.

My lips twisted. I turned my gaze to the other side of the sofa.

“I already have a child, Chaos,” I remind her.

"And?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Being a model is also like being an actress. Many will get curious to look deeper in your personal life. If I come back, they will definitely ask why I suddenly disappeared then," I explained.

“What now if they find out you already have a child?

"He will find out," I said plainly.

"So what? Erom is my son," he said coldly.

I just smiled and leaned on the couch I was sitting on. "Thank you for being with us all the time, Chaos," I sincerely said then looked at him.

He just stared at me and then moved closer. "For you and for our son," he mumbled and kissed my forehead.

I smiled again and let myself dozed off to sleep. I was stunned when I felt Chaos lifting and putting me on the bed where my son was also lying.

"I am going home," Chaos murmured.

I just nodded at him while looking up at him.

"Goodnight," he said.

"Goodnight," I hoarsely replied back.

He smiled and then stood away from the bed. He tucked us in the comforter before he finally turned his back and left.

"Hmm. Mommy," my son uttered in his deep sleep.

I leaned over to him and then hugged him. "Mommy's here," I whispered and kissed his forehead.

"I love you, Mom," he murmured and hugged me with his tiny arms.

I smiled genuinely and hugged him tighter. "I love you too, Erom. Mommy loves you so much, son. I will do everything for you," I promised.

He did not say a word after. I just smiled when I peeked at his face.

One thing I realized after all the pains and breakdowns that I'd been through. Seeing my son and being able to hold him in any way, all my sacrifices were worth it.

***

"Drink this." The doctor handed me a white pill.

I stared at it for a few seconds until I focused my eyes on her again.

"Will this ... kill my baby?"

She let out a deep sigh. "Yes," she answered.

I swallowed and tightly gripped the tablet on my hand. "What will happen after I drink this?"

"You will bleed after a few minutes. Since the baby is just starting to form in your womb, he will be easily aborted," she detailed.

My heart felt like it was twisted as I think about what she had said. I grabbed my stomach and tearfully bit my lower lip.

"Here." The doctor gave me a glass of water. "He's waiting outside," she added.

I turned my gaze to the door. Hoping that it will open up and Valjerome’s changing his mind but as the moments gone by, none of what I was asking for happens.

"You are so ruthless, Val," I uttered, teary eyed, then put the tablet on my mouth.

I then, drank water and sat up properly on the bed.

"The medicine will take effect for five minutes. You will feel severe pain in your abdomen and you will start bleeding," said the doctor.

I glanced at her. "Can I go to the restroom? I'll just do it there. I-I can't stand seeing my unborn child abort here," I said.

The doctor didn't do anything and just let me do what I wanted. She helped me walk to the bathroom and left.

The moment she closed the door, I automatically spit the tablet hidden on my tongue. I immediately gargled to the fear that some medicine might flow down my throat.

"No...You are the only one I have. I can't afford to lose you," I sobbed while holding my stomach. "I-I will talk to your dad again, baby. Don't worry, we'll become one family. He's just shocked." I bit my lower lip to suppress my sobs.

I flinched when I heard a knock on the door.

"How are you?" the doctor checked.

Trembling I melted in the sink the medicine he had taken. "I-I'm already bleeding, i-it hurts like hell!" I yelled and cried out loud to justify my statement.

"Should I go there?"

"No! No, please, just leave me alone with my child," I immediately stopped.

"Okay. Tell me if the pain subsided," she said.

"I will call you later," I uttered.

She didn't speak anymore. There I began to wander my eyes around the bathroom, looking and thinking of a way for me to escape everything.

Luckily, I found a pair of scissors in the first aid kit. I held it tightly and then took a deep breath.

'I will save my baby.'

With that thought, I rolled up my skirt, removed my panty and aimed at my upper leg.

I chose the part closest to my genital area and then gently cut ​​it with scissors. I narrowed my eyes while restraining myself from screaming. I made sure the wound is cut deep so it will be bloodier.

When I was satisfied with what I did, I washed the scissors and put them back in the kit. I quickly went to the toilet and sat there so that the blood would drip.

I couldn’t help but cry after all. I knew it would be a problem if Valjerome will find out that I had not pursued the abortion but I was willing to beg just for our child’s life.

"Just be patient, son. I can convince your father soon. For now, I have to hide you first," I whispered as I spoke to the little baby in my womb.

I thought everything would be fine after that. I hope we could start again. But I don’t think it will all get worse the next day.

He filed a divorce.

I left his house with a shattered heart and broken self. Carrying the money he had given me and some of my belongings, I went to my manager’s office.

"What? You are leaving?!" he exclaimed, puzzled.

I bit my lower lip and nodded.

"But why? I mean, are you okay?" he asked and walked closer to me.

I slowly shook my head and tried to laugh. "My life is so fvcked up, Azy. I'm sorry, but I can't continue working with you," I said.

"Is it necessary? I knew how much you love your work, Jazzie. Do you need someone to talk to? A home? Money? I can provide all of it," he said. "I mean, I won't force you since I can see that you're really struggling this time. But I am also your friend, Jazzie. You can count on me."

I gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Azy. But I really can't continue working. I-I'm ... pregnant."

He stiffened from his position. He blinked a few times and then looked at my stomach that I had been caressing.

"I need to hide, Azy. My husband will kill this child if he finds out that I am still bearing this," I explained.

His jaw dropped at my revelation. He couldn't seem to believe what he heard.

"Then let me help you to hide," someone spoke.

Both Azy and I looked at the door of his office.

Chaos was there, standing with his stern face.

***

Since then, we became friends. He was with me for the whole time of my pregnancy as well as for the moment I gave birth. I bought a condo with Valjerome’s money and set aside the rest for Erom’s future. I started working as Chaos took care of my child.

This has been my life in all the past six years since I cut ties with my ex-husband.