Chapter 77: Chapter 77

LENA’S POINT OF VIEW

Guilt, I guess that was what I’m feeling right now. But not just that, I was feeling guilty for what I wasn’t feeling guilty about. I knew that I didn’t want to spend my entire life with Sasha and selling drugs for her stepbrother. I don’t feel bad for being with Maia because it’s what I want. I feel guilty for feeling burdened with this trivial shit when one of my men, a member of our drug cartel that keeps an eye on outside, died.

If I hadn’t told Egor that I’m out, he could still be alive, Nico could still be alive. He was my best man and was Dmitri’s best friend, I also feel guilty to Dmitri for taking his best friend from him. I’m not regretting for saving Maia from those dangerous people, I do what I need to do to save my fiancé and I’m fucked up. I feel guilty to Maia because I didn’t tell her the truth, I just don’t want Maia to feel she's not safe with me.

Maia feels blue in these couple of days because I told her that I should take care of the business for a year and can’t be with her for a moment. I do this because I want her to be safe, I don’t want to drag her into my dangerous, unpredictable life. People die, get arrested, move, and more each fucking day, I have to do this for her. Maia has a life ahead her, I couldn’t let her end up like Nico and the others.

The rays from the sun were beaming into the room where Maia and I were entangled into each other. I was facing away from the sun so that they were hitting my bareback. Maia was facing me had the beams of light in her face. I’m looking at her gorgeous bare face and caressing it softly, causing her to open her eyes. She opens her eyes slowly, the sun hits the eyes as her eyes are open.

Maia opened her eyes fully, she immediately smiles as she saw that I was right in front of her. I closed my eyes before she opens hers and pretends to sleep. Maia brought her hand to my back and moving her fingers up and down on my spine, she leans in and leaves a soft kiss on my forehead. I couldn’t help but smile as I leave a soft giggle after. “Jeez! You fool me!” Maia mumbles as she hits my arm gently.

“Awh babe! It still 8 AM and you already torture me” I laugh softly, caressing my arm gently. “Well, I’m not sorry because you fool me, but…” She smiles, running her face closer to me and leave me a soft morning kiss. I cup her cheeks and kiss her deeply, feeling the morning taste of her. I could see Maia’s desperate face through the kisses as she kisses me like it will be our last kiss. “Baby, are you crying?” I ask as I felt the salt from her tears.

“Hey Maia, Look at me!” I cup her cheeks and facing her. “Honey?” I call. Her face was gazing at the sheets before she looks up at me. “I… I don’t know if I can” She stutters with a slight of grief in her voice. “Baby, I’ll be back here once a month… I told you and I promise!” I say as I keep looking at her face who facing me. “And we’ll have a nice vacation every month, everywhere you wanna go… I’ll take you, okay?” I smile as I wiping her tears.

“Okay…” She replies with a slight of grief in her voice. “And I’m not going anywhere, babe! We still have phones though” I say. “Mmm… and maybe we can do a dirty video call sex instead” I say with a slight of lust in my voice. Maia left a soft laugh and smiles as she heard my words, she runs her hands to my face and caressing my cheek gently. “I love you Lena” She whispers. I smile, running my fingers through her hair and caressing it gently. “I love you too Maia” I reply.

“Now… what we gonna do before I leave?” I exhale in relief as I lean on the bed, wrapping my hands on Maia’s shoulder and pull her closer. “I’ll cook you for breakfast!” Maia says, she suddenly jumps from the bed. “Oh God babe, it still 8!” I groan. “A-a…” She shook her head as she moves her index finger. “I’m gonna cook you something special” She delights. “Well, fine!” I chuckle as I raise my eyebrow. Maia jumps back to the bed, she leaves me a few kisses before she leaves.

I grab Maia and pull her near me and she’s back to lay down next to me. She looks peaceful, I wonder if she felt the kiss. I prop myself up onto my elbow to support my head and make me taller so I can run my fingers through Maia’s brown hair. I really enjoy playing with her hair and I enjoyed her. “You look perfect!” I say, admiring her bare face who looking up at me. Maia laughs softly and she blushes.

“I’m gonna miss you…” She says as she looking up at me, tears are about to fall through her beautiful eyes. I tell nothing but running my face closer to her and I kiss her softly. Maia left a sweet smile into our kisses, leaving her breath entered my mouth as she keeps smiling through the kisses. “Alright, I gotta go!” Maia kisses my cheek and smiles, she slides out of the bed and stares at me who lay on the bed.

I could see the sadness inside her eyes as she looks at me, but I give her a sweet smile to make her feel better. Maia throwing herself onto me, I place my hands on her sweet, soft face and a tear ran down my cheek. Maia buries her face into my torso and cry, her tears soaked my shirt as she sobs. “Maia, shhhh…” I calm her down. “Baby, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere” I caress her back gently, waiting her to settle down.

Maia off her faces from me and looks at me with tears on her cheeks. “Hey” I wipe her tears with my thumbs. “I love you, okay?” I state. “I’m not cheating on you, why would you cry?” I say, caressing her cheek and chuckle. “Promise me you will never looking for another woman or hanging out with them, even though if they’re your customers or business partner” Maia pouts. I laugh softly as I keep caressing her cheek.

“Mmm… I’ll consider that” I tease her. Maia starts crying, this one is louder “Hu…hu…hu…” She cries. “Babe, I’m kidding” I explain. Maia gives me a look as she wipes her tears. “Really?” She asks. “Of course babe… I am! I will never look for someone else and if you wanted, I could wear black sunglasses and pretends blind, so no one will hitting on me” I say, obviously teasing her.

“Fine!” Maia pouts. “That’s my hot wife!” I chuckle, kissing Maia’s lips after. A sweet smile comes through her face as she holds my hand. “Alright, now I’m leaving” She says. I grab her hand and kiss the palm of her hand. “Okay baby…” I smile. Maia leaves our bedroom and I back to lie down on our bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how could I hang without Maia. “Huhh…” I sigh as I turning around and facing Maia’s space.

I'm rubbing her sheet softly, feeling the sheet on my palm, and smile. “Shit… Fuck you Egor! You put me in this situation” I mumble as I grab Maia’s pillow with me and rest the pillow onto my torso. I sniff the pillow deeply and hug it tight, feeling the pillow on top of me. I keep sniffing the pillow and I close my eyes. “It really smells like her”’ I smile. I truly don’t want to do this, but I have to set my business after I out from Egor and start again.

I caress her pillow as I keep sniffing, the pillow truly smells like her. It smells like a coconut and vanilla perfume that she always used after shower, it also smells like a chocolate bar. Maia loves something sweets, she likes sweet fragrances and butter. It’s inversely proportional to me, I prefer something strong. I like something like a fresh rose fragrance with alcohol or a cool fresh fruits perfume. I sniff the pillow once again and I would say that I will miss her, I will miss you Maia.