Chapter 30: Chapter 30

: hurting him

No POV

Pamela turned and twisted in bed. Guilt and loneliness her only companion tonight as thoughts upon thoughts churned her insides.

She tried calling him again for the fifth time after he stormed out.

Tolu her younger sister came in and jumped on the bed beside her.

"Mummy asked me to call you down for dinner" she said.

"Gosh, I cant wait to be in love and get married!"her slim hands rubbed against in each other in sheer delight while her voice had a singsong note to it.

Pamela rolled her eyes at her enthusiasm aware that her sister was too lost in a world of her own to notice how much pain and fear she was in, so instead she said " Go on Ill meet you down."

"Oh and my crush is back o. He said to make sure you come down" she added and left.

Ayomi(my joy) is back! The fact that he wanted me down may mean he actually cares for me and my babies still.

What to say!

What to wear!

Pamela got up and changed into a short pleated sleeveless gown that hit mid tigh. It had peach floral patterns that accentuated the colour of her skin. Her thick curls were braided two days ago into thick box braids that almost hit her waist. The outfit was finished with his favorite perfume and soft nude lips.

Christopher was seated at the dinning table phone in hand. He and Tolu were playing a game of truth and dare. They looked truly both at peace with each other. Pamela's clenched knowing how since that night he hasn't smiled at her or even looked at her with the usual intensity so she took a while savouring the moment.

On the dinning table was set; semovita and egusi soup, well cut fruit arranged in a glass bowl. The hausa renowned kunu aya was poured in a big jug.

Kunu aya was a sweet blend of Tiger nuts called aya, Dates palm and coconut.

How she prepared all for dinner was still a mystery.

"Ekale ma" Pamela greeted her mum.

"Ekaabo(welcome)" she greeted her husband.

He nodded in response, got up and pulled the seat for her and brushed his lips on her forehead lightly.

The gesture warmed Pamela's heart and scared her at the same time for she knew her husband wasn't one to get easily angry but hardly forgives.

We sat around the Mahagony table and mummy prayed over the food.

Dinner was ate in comfortable silence, with me eating a large share as the drugs prescribed earlier were taking effect.

He ate silently and thanked mom for dinner but still said nothing to her.

****

After dinner they all stretched in front of the TV. Tolu flicking from channel to channel, Christopher typing furiously on his phone. While mum went in to retire early.

Pamela stared idly at the television most of her focus on the man that sat feets away from her not knowing what to do or how to build a bridge across the rift she created.

She picked her phone and texted him instead.

Would you please talk to me_ grumpy.

Minutes later he got up and pulled her hands leading her to the bedroom.

"Awwnnnn two cute lovers" Tolu gushed out.

As the door clicked shut behind her, and she was whirled around to meet cold brown eyes Pamela knew she was in more soup than she knew.

Then he let down his guard and emotions seeped into his eyes one of which was fear.

Fear of the future, of what she was capable of.

"Did you intentionally try to abort" He asked.

As Pamela's heart wrenched in two at his question, her hand involuntarily connected with his cheek.

The crack of her palm against his cheek was the only sound resonating through the room.

She just hit him.

She knew she shouldn't have done it, but how could he believe her capable of something so evil.

How??

His answering silence and fury was her response. He didn't trust her!

"Do you really expect me to believe that you had no idea you were pregnant!!! Looking back now even I saw the signs. The constant vomiting, mood swings, the lack of appetite."

"I really did not know" Pamela whispered tears in her eyes.

The disbelief in his broke her.

"Then why the contraceptives? I am trying to understand why you'll take major decisions without talking to me about it. Help me understand Temitope? I beg you" Christopher asked tautly.

Pamela kept quiet knowing full how whatever she said was not good enough for making such decision without talking to her other better half. Hiding the choice and even closing her mind to the possibility of a pregnancy when as a Doctor she knew how contraceptives also fail.

"Say something Temi please!" He pleaded softly.

As tears rolled down her cheeks, she said nothing still.

" I don't even understand why you are crying. You made this choice all I want is for you to explain it to me." He shouted.

As his anger rose, Christopher knew better than most that it was time to leave or end this conversation, she wasn't going to say anything anyway.

"Okay then." He said and moved towards the door.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

He refused to reply and walked out closing the door softly behind him.

Pamela hit the bed and she let the tears flow. She knew why she made the choice but she knew it wasn't good enough! The gravity of not communicating with him telling him her fears led to this.

Dear God what if something had happened to her children?

She rubbed her arms on her belly, folded her body on the bed and cried her heart out.

She hurt him!

She knew how much he hurt when he hurts deep and knowing she was the one hurting him this time hurt her.

The tears and the word of prayers came next. Not just for her, but for the babies in her womb. Her stubbornness, her desire to always have things go her way,her husband.

Sleep came next, blanketing her and her worries in its large arms.

*****

Christopher sat behind his study desk angry; nothing was working right for him right now.

He tried hard to understand the spreadsheet before him or his partner but none was working in his favour right now.

He ran his hands through his hair instead and leaned back on the chair resting his head on it.

The entire situation was robbing them of the joy that accompanies being pregnant and future parents. His head was aching all he wanted was to have a good night rest tonight with his woman cuddled up against him but turns out lady luck wasn't on his side.

He forced himself to work some more till it was past 2:am in the morning, after which he trudged up to bed.

She was curled up on the bed right in the middle. The dress she wore tonight was still on and her box braids covered her face.

So peaceful and innocent with tear stained face. The position she was in would give her kinks in her neck the next morning so he knew he had to adjust her.

Christopher pulled out the duvet and covered her arranging her properly on the bed.

He took a quick shower and hit the bed also the emotional fatigue of the day draining him out as fast as a light.

As he drifted off babies and forgiveness was the only constant thing on his mind.

Oh but how to forgive!

****