Chapter 29: Chapter 29

: Pregnant and hurting

2 months later.

May, 2015

Chris

I pulled her hair back as she threw up over and over. The pain racked her slender body and I felt it deep down.

"When are you going to go to the hospital" I asked angrily.

"I am fine and  a doctor you know. I should be able to diagnose myself and treat accordingly." She  rinsed her  mouth with water and changed into a night slip.

"Pamela" I called out sternly.

"Look I am fine. Its change of environment coupled with food poisoning. I personally think new Yorks weather agree with me. I miss it any way when can we go back?"  Trying to change the topic.

"Why do doctors not obey their own instructions. I thought you guys are supposed to run a medical test before you can ascertain stuffs like this. Look you keep loosing so much weight alongside the spotting. I saw blood on the sheets last night, are you menstruating? Pamela I'm worried okay" I raked my hands through my hair my frustration clearly showing through.

"I'll be fine okay. Awwn my baby is worried about me" she smiled and qq wagpulled my cheeks.

She lied in my arms and played with my beards while occasionally nipping my earlobes.

I worked on some files online on my tab. Try as I may I couldn't hide how worried I was, she felt so frail in my hands,l.  I am definitely dragging her to the hospital tomorrow.

"Lets go to bed" she said sleepily.

"Just go on baby I'll join you soon." I pecked her forehead.

"Night Ayomi. I love you light of my life" She had this dreamy look on her eyes as she said it and as usual my heart clenched in response to how much I love this woman.

"I love you too Temi! Sleep well."

*****

"Christopher!"

"Christopher!

The urgency of her voice woke me up instantly, but it was the tears in her eyes that wiped off all traces of sleep for the night.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I am bleeding! My stomach hurts seriously. I think I am loosing a baby I never knew I had" Tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Okay." I quickly changed out of my night outfit and cleaned her up carefully.

Although the bleeding wasn't so bad, I think the pain was worse. She held her tommy and cried while i tried to put a flowing dress on her.

"Get me an ice pack" she asked quietly.

I did and she placed it on her lower abdomen to reduce blood flow.

Apparently cold causes construction of blood vessels which in return reduce general blood flow and the bleeding.

As we sat in the car and drove to the nearest hospital. Thoughts swirled in my mind.

What i was presently feeling is something I couldn't describe. A mixture of fear and trepidation mixed with confusion twirled my insides in knots.

Pregnant!

Loosing babies!

How is she pregnant without knowing!

Temitope is a medical doctor for Gods sake.

She was admitted to obstetrics and Gynecology unit, while they attended to her I waited outside.

I felt hopeless again just like David and Christiana. Waiting outside the hospital room, slowly loosing my sanity.

Thirty minutes later and the doctor came out.

"The babies are fine and the mother. We had an ultrasound and the toll of carrying two children combined with the contraceptives caused the bleeding. Your wife and children will be fine as long as she stops the contraceptives, there is no pregnancy to prevent right now all it is doing is aborting the foetuses. She is asleep right now but you can go in to sit and be with her." He patted my shoulder as a sign of comfort and walked away.

I stood outside for a while more shocked! Angry and thankful.

I am grateful she is alive but I felt so betrayed this loop of pain sat on my chest as a burden then I gathered my courage and went in.

She was asleep so peaceful and innocent. The initial worry I felt was ebbing away and replaced with anger.

I wanted her to seriously explain what was going on right now. We had an age difference of 6 years and she knew how much I wanted to start having my family immediately, and she agreed to. The worst part is I don't get or understand why.

I sent my mother in-law a text letting her know the situation.

It was going to be a long damn night.

******

Pamela

I woke up to my husbands hand on my belly and my Moms concerned face peered into mine.

"Mummy" I whined and my husband jerked awake in response.

He pulled his hand off and shielded his eyes from mine. His long sooty lashes wasn't just the only thing that covered his eyes. It was the pained expression in his eyes that scared me most.

My mum fawned over me and then the questioning came. "Temitope how could you not have know you were pregnant? Hmmn a doctor for Gods sake!" She asked.

The question brought a strange tremor rushing through my body.

Me pregnant!

Last night was still a blur in my mind; waking up to sharp pain, the bleeding and passing out. Then the guilt came next.

I almost killed my child!

"I don't know too" I replied.

"Maybe its because you were not expecting it" my husband said instead. The bitterness in his tone wasn't something that he could hide or keep out.

"Its all good since we are all here now lets not argue hmm! Omo mi(my child) see how you look so lean. I brought you chicken pepper soup so that my twin grandchildren will enjoy" my mum said

Twins! Im carrying two kids!

"Its okay mummy! Since you are here now, I have something important to do at the office, I'll send the driver back to pick Tolu and some few things for you, so you can stay a few days with us" He said.

"Oh alright dear" She opened the chicken broth and served me a plate.

He got up and kissed my forehead gently and moved to walk away. I held his hands to hold him back and he walked away still not even with a backward glance.

Is it weird that i think he's acting weird towards me?

The guilt of the contraceptives and making him worry so much was killing me. Yet, I don't know how to look him in the eyes and tell him how and why I took it.

After eating and sleeping so long, I woke again to Tolu and mummy but not my man.

We talked and laughed for a while but as mum left to go home and rest a bit I texted him.

Baba Twins! You just left your baby mama and went away

His reply was instant:

Hot CEO_ Sorry. How you feeling now?

Better, I am tired of sleeping. I miss your fine face☺

Hot CEO_ Ill come in the night. I am still busy, Do take care of yourself.

The entire conversation was off. We still haven't talked about what having two babies mean or how he feels about it or even call me anything sweet or kind.

******

Yesterdays suspicion was confirmed as the cold shoulder grew. I was to be discharged this morning, but every communication was tense or forced on his part.

He won’t look me in the eye, he keeps trying not to be in the room alone with me or have a conversation that did not include others.

The doctor came in and gave me all the DOS and don’ts of pregnancy, my appointed antenatal schedule, and loads of prenatal vitamins. After this i changed into normal clothes with the help of Tolu and Chris drove us home.

The awkward car ride consisted of Tolu and Chris occasional banter but not even one word towards me.

"Ayo I want Boli(Roasted plantain) and groundnut" I said pouting slightly.

"Where do you want me to get? Look ill send someone to buy it later."

"But I want you to!" Using that baby voice he couldn't resist so much.

He said nothing in reply but instead drove around till he got some.

I don't know what was going on with us but I was hurting with this cold treatment, at least he should let me know the problem.

Like you don't know already.

If it was what I was thinking then I know I'm in soup.

We drove in and ate confirm Nigerian Jollof rice and fish. He ate little and made even more little talk at the dinner table.

His phone rang and he got up from his food signalling the end of the meal, thanked mum and walked away.

My mum on the other hand kept giving us strange looks. While Tolu had this dreamy look on hers.

I got up and followed him to the room.

"Is there something wrong" I asked.

"You tell me" he replied.

"What do you mean"

"Why did you ask if anything was wrong?"

"You keep acting weird, and giving me the cold shoulder"

"How?" Then gave me this intense look that scared me.

"You avoided me at the hospital and we still haven't discussed what this children mean to us as a family"

"Family? What family?" He asked sarcastically.

"I don't understand" I replied. My heart was beginning to thud loudly in my chest this time and my hands were clammy with sweat.

"OK then." Walking back to the door.

"Where are you going" I asked.

He knows.

"Out and away from you." He said.

It hurts to hear that from someone you love so much to be pushed away, But what hurts more was the look of betrayal in his eyes.

I know, he knows.

"Ayomide" I called out quietly as tears filled my eyes.

"Just stop okay! Stop acting like you have the slightest consideration for me. The more you act ignorant the more irritated i get. So just stop" He shouted, raking his hands through his hair in frustration as he did.

"Ayo, I am sorry" I croaked out reaching out to touch him. He stepped out of my touch like it burned him and I wriggled my hands together not knowing what to say or do.

"Sorry for what exactly?" He asked tautly.

I looked down at my hands and feet refusing to meet his gaze, refusing to see how disappointed he was at me.

"Talk na, say something say anything. Or even till this point you have nothing to say to me like my opinion doesnt matter hmm Pamela." He said again.

I still said nothing.

Then he walked out.

Then the question dawned on me.

Why did i really do it?

We agreed to start having children immediately after marriage,and after I changed my midnight did I not at least talk to him about it. I listened to him talk about how he couldnt wait to start having kids and not even once did i bring it up . Then i started taking those drugs and even switched to another one when I thought it was making me lean, until i hurt our future children..

If i lied already, what does my word really mean to me???