Chapter 42: Chapter 42

I lay in that hedge under my window with my arms spread wide and just looked up at the bright blue sky.

The birds were chirping loudly all around me, and still above me at the corner of the open window, I realized my torn t-shirt was blowing in the mild wind, until I let my eyes wander down to my body and wondered if that glorious silence might mean something that I had died.

It was so peaceful and as I stared at my toes and tried to move them, it was like a load of my heart to at least move. Very slowly and carefully, I raised my arms and placed my hands on my fast beating heart while closing my eyes and taking deep breaths.

"You don't get a sight like this every day."

I opened my eyes again and immediately sank into the deep blue that had fascinated me from the first moment.

"Dario," I breathed, trying to get up, but he immediately put his hands on my cheeks and came closer than ever.

"Just lie there," he whispered against my lips, smiling so much better than the cloudless sky above us.

The closer his lips suddenly came to mine, the harder my heart was beating, but quite unexpectedly, when I was almost released from this urge to kiss him, I suddenly felt an incredibly strong pain in my arm. I avoided Dario's eyes in a panic and looked at my hand, which seemed to be covered in blood, to suddenly find that Dario disappeared like a shadow into nowhere.

"Dario!", I yelled desperately and woke up with a start, only to realize with a racing heart that I was probably unconscious and that it was all just a bitter imagination.

My body ached everywhere and I quickly tried to free myself from your pecking thorn bush in order to sit up and pull individual thorns out of my arms.

"Miss?" I asked one of the guards in surprise and let his eyes wander over me in irritation while I could only imagine how I looked to him.

Standing in only my underwear with leaves in my hair, I confidently put my hands on my side and looked at him as seriously as I could, then pointed to the bush behind me.

"The gardeners should really put things in order here," I nodded to him and then ran to the entrance, blushing, to open the door and burst straight into what was probably an intimate meeting.

"What happened to you?!", Enzo asked stunned and Dario and Giovanna also frowned at me while I fished some leaves out of my hair to demonstratively throw them in front of their feet.

"What happened?" I repeated to Enzo, looking back and forth at the three of them. I could have died again and again and slowly I had had enough. I wasn't afraid of them anymore. Least of all Giovanna.

"I fell in love with Dario! That happened!", I then said the first thing that was on my mind and while Enzo and Giovanna looked at me in shock, Dario looked at me as if his heart had stopped for a moment to beat.

"But I also fell in love with Gino," I added, looking at Enzo. "And I won't let myself be forced to vote anymore, because you're slowly seeing where it's going!"

I pointedly pointed my hands at my half-naked body and at all the easy bleeding spots caused by those disgusting thorns.

"Besides, she is," I spoke out loud, pointing at Giovanna. "One wrong line and you know what. I don't give a damn who your family is now because you've got a totally insane cop after me. You know what, you're both such disgusting people it fits so well together that you can be 100% sure of my blessing!"

Giovanna seemed furious, but I didn't pay any attention to her or to Enzo, who was about to say something. Instead, I slowly walked towards Dario and stopped right in front of him to look up at him pleadingly.

"And if I'm half as important to you as you are to me, then I beg you to look for Gino, who is guiltily on the way to ending his life, probably carelessly. I beg of you, Dario. Search him and bring him home safely."

"Are you crazy to ask something like that from him!?", Giovanna snapped at me from the side, but I ignored her and just looked into Dario's eyes, who nodded in agreement and then gave his father a quick look.

"Dario! If you leave now, I'll end our relationship for good!" Giovanna yelled hysterically and pushed me slightly to the side to focus her angry gaze on Dario, but he seemed very calm and she didn't have anything feeling eyed.

"We never really had a relationship," he said quietly, then turned away from her to look at Enzo. "I'm looking for him. I'll let you know as soon as I know something."

When my eyes fell gratefully to Dario, I still felt Enzo's hands that lay on my shoulders, threw a long coat around me and pulled me to him.

"Everything will be fine," he said, and while we watched Dario leave the house, Giovanna angrily stomped up the stairs, cursing loudly over and over again, but I didn't care. It was only important to me that both brothers would come back safely.

"Enzo?. Is it selfish of me to love both of them?", I whispered softly, when only the two of us were standing in the hallway and I didn't know who else to talk to about my feelings. I would have loved to have had my father with me now, but he wasn't there anymore.

"Love for two men is never selfish, Ludovica. but not wanting to make a decision because both give you a certain security, that's fine."

My eyes fell guiltily up to him, but he only smiled slightly and then led me into the kitchen to accompany me to the table, where I sat wearily while he turned to the kitchen and made coffee.

"Gino is so. he loves so much but also way too intensely. one moment you can't get enough of him and the other you just want to get away because he can be so hurtful," explained I calmly, gratefully accepting a cup from Enzo, who sat across from me at the table and listened to me intently. "And Dario. He makes me feel very special, but with him I always have the feeling that he wants to keep me at a distance. This intense thing that I have with Gino. Dario can do it to me to not give."

"Gino is someone who has lived for years with a guilt that is destroying him from within, Ludovica. He is incapable of simply accepting happiness. His concept of good is that if he doesn't destroy it, it will destroy itself eventually destroyed by itself anyway."

"So he's more scared of being there for me than chasing a lunatic with a gun right now?"

"I think getting hurt by you would hurt him more than getting pierced by bullets, so yes."

I thoughtfully took a sip of my coffee, feeling almost idiotic for opening up to Enzo, but I couldn't help it either because it felt so good to think all those secret thoughts out loud.

"And what am I supposed to do now? Disappearing seems to be the only solution I can think of. I'll never be able to choose between the two."

"Then let her decide," Enzo suddenly said, calmly opening the newspaper. "Why are you getting so worked up, Ludovica? No matter who it is, you're going to be the wife of a mobster and now that Giovanna is up there angrily packing her bags, it's only a matter of time before heads will roll. Be a strong woman . Strong women don't bend over backwards and worry about whom they might hurt with their feelings. The two of them are able to work that out themselves. Let them fight and take care of yourself."

"If it were that easy," I murmured and he gave a short laugh, which made me look at him questioningly. "My wife also had the choice between me and another man. She didn't go crazy but confidently waited to see which of us would win her heart."

"And you had more patience?"

"No, I had a duck," he winked and I gaped at him, suddenly hearing Giovanna swearing behind me and turning to face her to look directly down the barrel of a gun.

"Giovanna take-"

"Shut up Enzo!", she interrupted him abruptly and briefly aimed at his chest. "I don't want to shoot you, so just sit there and be quiet! And you," she said, pointing the gun right at my head again. "Stand up!"

"It's okay," I said, getting bored with the fact that a different gun was pointed at me every day, slowly getting up from my chair to hold my hands up in surrender, looking into her eyes.

"Giovanna, that's enough!" Enzo said loudly again, but when Giovanna suddenly shot into the table right next to him, he fell silent too and his eyes widened in shock.

"I told you to shut up!" she screamed hysterically and suddenly grabbed my arm to pull me into the hallway. "You all think you can play with me like I'm a puppet," she said, insane, then yanked open the front door to point the gun squarely at my head, leaving the guards watching with guns drawn how she walked with me over the gravel floor. "But not anymore!"

She opened the doors of her Mercedes, forced me into the passenger seat and kept the gun pointed at me the entire time she paced angrily around the car while I just sat there and buckled my seat belt in peace.

Of course I was scared, but I was also just dead tired and staring down the barrel of her gun seemed almost relieving.

When she took a seat next to me and drove off immediately, she kept throwing me venomous looks, but I skilfully ignored her and suddenly saw Nicolo in the side mirror, who was riding behind us on a bicycle.

"I love him! And he.he loves a whore who doesn't even want him!" she cursed next to me, stepping on the gas harder and harder, making me panic more of ending up in a tree than being shot by her to become.

"I had something with Dario, so I didn't know you existed, Giovanna," I tried to calm her down somehow, but I realized myself that it made no sense at all. By now I knew for myself how much love could destroy you. How easily she could make you do things you normally would never have done. How easily she changed us all, for good or bad. but judging by Giovanna's behavior, nothing was more destructive than loving someone who loved someone else.

"Why doesn't he want me," she suddenly said, her voice cracking and she burst into tears, but I didn't answer her, just glancing at the gun in her trembling hand, trying to figure out how to use it could steal from her. "I never hurt him like you did!"

"You didn't either," I agreed, trying to make her feel like I understood her, which in a sick way I did. How could I judge her when Gino wanted to kill for far fewer men. "You deserve better," I continued calmly, looking over at her sympathetically, causing her to wipe away her tears and glare at me angrily.

"Shut up!" she snapped, almost crashing into another car, but she jerked the steering wheel just in time and I quickly grabbed the door handle on my side to avoid slamming into her.

"You're going to kill us both!" I yelled in panic about her reckless driving style, but she just laughed out loud and I turned down a side street, so that I immediately realized in the side mirror that Nicolo had probably lost sight of us.

Well, bicycles weren't the fastest bikes.

"It's funny, isn't it?!" she said, sounding completely deranged. "You're fucking the man on the first night that I've given years of my life to and he didn't even touch me. Plus you're engaged to his brother who could have enough women. Apparently you just have to be ugly and afraid to be noticed by strong men! I'm a strong woman, I guess that intimidates her."

"Yes, exactly," I just had to roll my eyes and looked over at her in disbelief. "Maybe it would have worked out with Dario if you had just been nice!"

"Nice? I was always nice to him!"

"I mean to others too! You treat employees like shit! Even to Gino you're a witch and he's his brother! Don't you think-"

"He hates Gino! Why should I be nice to him-"

"He doesn't hate him! Don't you understand that they lost their mother! Of course they deal with it differently, each in their own way, but they would still do anything for each other!" I yelled at her, barely able to believe how stupid and naive she really was.

"Oh, just shut up!", she snapped at me and took the next curve so fast that I immediately felt sick to my stomach. "You ugly duckling!"

I rolled my eyes again because she didn't know that this word from Gino was a sign of his love.not to offend me.or so I hoped!

"Shit!" she cursed suddenly, stopping so abruptly that I hit my head squarely on the faucet, glimpsing only stars from the impact, until I put my hand on my throbbing forehead and got up again.

"Oh thank god," I whispered as I saw an African American police officer get out of her car and head straight for us.

"One word and I'll shoot you," Giovanna warned, slowly rolling down her window while tucking the gun slightly to her side.

"Good morning," she greeted the policewoman with a beaming smile, who only looked at her skeptically.

"You know how fast they were?"

"Oh yes, I'm very sorry. My friend here fell. I was going to take her to the hospital."

Giovanna's eyes drifted over to me and her facial expression motioned for me to roll up the sleeves of Enzo's coat, so I did it through clenched teeth, showing all the scratches from the thorns, which got the officer eyeing me critically.

"Are you alright with them?" she asked me and I just nodded politely and looked out the windshield again, where all of a sudden I saw that bastard get out of the police car.

He who threatened me a few hours ago.

He casually took off his sunglasses and walked very slowly towards us, only to have a brief chat with the police officer.

"Thank God," Giovanna said next to me and I immediately realized that somehow I had a solution and a problem with his appearance at the same time.

After all, I finally made sure that Giovanna separated from Dario, but Gino was still alive and I couldn't just force Giovanna to get together with him.

"You see, Ludovica. We can definitely drive on right away. My cousin is a big shot in the police force."

"Your cousin?" I asked her in disgust and couldn't help but have to yank my door open in the next few seconds.

I hurriedly got out of the car and ran to the curb, only to throw up so badly at the thought of it that I felt like choking on my own vomit.

"Calm down," I suddenly heard his voice behind me and wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my coat, turning to face him in disgust.

"Your cousin?! What a sick animal you are!" I hissed at him in a whisper and only got a stupid grin from him while he glanced at the car, where Giovanna showed the policewoman her papers.

"A man wants what a man wants," he whispered, and suddenly pulled something out of his pocket. My eyes fell on his hands, where I watched in confusion as he took out a piece of gum from the packet. "And now I want you to open your mouth."

"Forget it!" I snapped at him and tried to get past him to the police officer, but he stuck out his arm and stopped me.

"Open your sweet mouth, otherwise I'll have to tell my colleague that the guy in the black BMW driving around like a madman shouldn't survive the next traffic light."

Taking a deep breath, I looked deep into his green eyes and then parted my lips slightly so he could put the gum in my mouth with an amused look. "Good girl," he said, still grinning, and gently slapped my cheek, apparently turning to the policewoman. "Go to the station. I have everything under control here."

Angry and just stunned by the security system here in Palermo, I had to watch willy-nilly as the policewoman disappeared while he led me back to the car with his dirty hands.

"Hello, Giovanna," he whispered to his cousin, and when she suddenly replied "Hey Giovanni" to his greeting, I couldn't help but laugh so loud that a few tears ran down my cheeks.

"That's a joke, isn't it?!", I exclaimed almost in desperation and clutched my stomach laughing, while the two just looked at me in irritation.

"I'd love to just shoot her head off," Giovanna explained annoyed and I only stopped laughing when Giovanni suddenly looked at me seriously and grabbed my wrist.

"You should go now," he whispered, and while I looked at him wide-eyed, he licked his lip once to target Giovanna.

"What?!" she said, immediately annoyed by his words and got out to quickly walk around the car. "You have no right to let her go! I'm not done with her!"

"Oh yes! You are! She kept my agreement and don't forget which one of us has the higher rank!"

"But-"

"Giovanna! Leave it alone! I still have some things to clarify with you and I don't want to get irritated beforehand."

He let go of my wrist so he could cup Giovanna's cheeks in his hands, who was staring at him in confusion.

"So, let's drive and talk. I have so much to tell you now that you're finally out of this mansion."

And again I threw up at the thought of what he really wanted from her.

"And you!" he turned to me one last time. "You know what the second deal was, so enjoy the rest of your time. I'll strike just as unexpectedly as you did."

He threw me some bills of money, which landed on the asphalt in front of me and after Giovanna gave me one last devastating look, the two got into the Mercedes together and just drove away.

"What a stupid prick."