Chapter 41: Chapter 41

We didn't speak a word to each other the entire drive home. The houses went by way too fast, the sky above us was slowly getting lighter and I could hardly think of anything else than just wanting to sleep. At least for a moment forget it all and have my peace.

When I finally saw the wide gate at the end of the street after what seemed like an infinite amount of time, I glanced over at Dario, who was driving the car calmly and seemed to be lost in thought, just like me. I actually wanted to ask him where I was supposed to sleep now, since I didn't even know if there were any vacancies in the villa. But after this turbulent night, I decided to just keep my mouth shut and nodded to the doorman I knew, to look up the driveway, where the villa suddenly seemed much larger to me than before.

Maybe I had never really paid attention to them. Most of the time something always got in the way.

"Here we are," Dario spoke into the silence and parked the car exactly where it was before. I flashed back to the day Gino had given it to me. Of the joy and also of how gratefully I hugged him, but as quickly as these beautiful memories came, they eluded me again.

"Yes, here we are," I replied to Dario, somewhat lost, looking out the windshield, which he did the same.

"You have to make a decision, Ludovica. I don't want to push you into anything and I'm willing to wait, but things can't go on as they are now. I'm not saying that because of me, or because of Gino. I'm saying that, because you suffer the most. and I can't take it any longer."

His voice was composed, very calm, and he conveyed just the calm I needed after tonight. At the same time, he didn't put any pressure on me at all, so I could take a deep breath and collect myself for a moment, even though I knew he was right and I really had to make a decision. But how should I do that when I felt that no matter who I lost, I could never be really happy again.

"I-"

When I was suddenly interrupted by a loud noise, my eyes widened in shock and I unexpectedly noticed a hand on my arm, which jerked me out of the car and almost brought me to cardiac arrest.

"Are you fucking serious?!", Gino yelled and pulled me behind him, only to target Dario furiously, who also got out of the car at that very moment.

"Are you serious?!" he yelled back at him and slowly walked around the car, causing Gino to suddenly pull out a gun and point it right at Dario. Of course, Dario immediately drew his pistol as well and suddenly they both found themselves completely caught up in their own film, while I stood behind Gino, my heart beating fast and I looked around for help. "You left her alone even though you knew someone was after her!"

"I came back right after I was here and she was gone! Now I know where she was! You must take every chance you have!" Gino said threateningly and then looked back at me to suddenly put down his gun and to turn to me "Anatra," he whispered, placing his hand on my cheek so his dark, glassy eyes looked straight into mine. His voice was suddenly different. There was no more hate, no cursing, no spark of anger. Only real regret was reflected in him and his words. "I'm so sorry! Please believe me! I was hurt and so angry. I didn't know how to deal with it, but when I was here and you weren't there, I realized I needed you in my life I need-"

"Oh my god," Dario interrupted and immediately Gino threw his gun on the floor next to me to roll up his sleeves and face his brother again. He immediately took a few steps towards him and hit him in the face with such anger that Dario stumbled briefly and I held my breath in shock.

"Don't you know the rules of the family anymore?" Gino said menacingly and backed up a few steps towards me. "She's my fiancee! Mine! You don't have to interfere, so fuck off before I beat your fucking face up real good!"

Dario also suddenly put his gun on the rear of the BMW, wiped the blood from his nose and was about to pull his shirt up a bit by his arms, but then my legs moved by themselves and I quickly intervened, begging the two.

"Stop it!" I yelled almost hysterically and turned to Gino first, who just stared at his brother in hatred while his whole body trembled. "Gino," I said quietly and stepped towards him to look up at him in pain. "How could you just leave me alone?"

He heard me, but it was a moment before he broke his gaze from his brother and looked down at me.

"Ludo! Do you know how it feels to be betrayed like that?" he uttered in a trembling voice and looked at me so hurt that my heart threatened to break with him and his pain. "You fucked him and I'm the last to know. The last! Don't you understand how painful it is! Remember that whore on my lap! How did that make you feel?!"

"That's different," I replied, shaking my head. "Dario and I were at a time when neither of us had anything serious. I never hurt you! But you hurt me on purpose. used me, let me fall into a trap. you you risked something happening to me."

"Anatra, it-"

When Dario suddenly started laughing behind me, I turned to him in irritation and he just looked back and forth between us in bewilderment.

"Do you know why he calls you duck? Because he-"

"Shut up!" Gino threatened and he pushed me aside to approach Dario again, but when Enzo suddenly came out of the front door in his plaid pajamas and a shotgun, we all stopped and stared at him in disbelief.

"So!" he said sternly, standing right in front of the three of us to look each one in the eyes intensely. "I want to know right away why I'm woken up by your loud yelling in the morning!"

"Dad, it-"

"Not you!" He interrupted Gino abruptly and then looked at me. "Ludo, I'm listening!"

I? Oh God!

"We. Well I." I stuttered and kept looking back and forth between Dario and Gino, who both just stared at me. "I had a fight with Gino," I whispered afterwards and looked apologetically at Enzo, who was listening to me carefully. "Then Dario picked me up from the club and we were followed."

"By whom?"

"From the policeman," Dario answered for me this time and Enzo's eyes seemed startled for a moment until he suddenly sighted Gino and took a few steps toward him.

"Will you ever learn it?!" he suddenly yelled at him and I wide-eyed as I watched Enzo glaring at Gino more and more angrily. "Can't you screw up for once in your life?! You're an idiotic hothead and you really still wonder why Ludovica is trying to distance himself from you??!!"

Gino just stood there and I could hardly breathe when I saw the first tears in his eyes. I wanted Enzo to stop, but as I took a step toward them both, Dario grabbed my wrist and stood next to me, shaking his head slightly, so I stopped moving.

"Look at her!" Enzo continued to yell, pointing at me briefly, making me feel hot and cold at the same time. "She's always at the end of her strength! She's constantly walking between life and death and why?! That's your merit! A woman is the reflection of her husband's actions! Remember that and kindly treat her better in the future!"

"But-" Dario wanted to intervene, but Enzo immediately turned to him.

"But nothing! It's your brother's fiancee! Aren't you ashamed?!"

"I had something with her, so Gino wanted to sell her to two old men!" Dario protested, but Enzo didn't seem to care.

"You're going to marry Giovanna! Everyone here forgets that life is about family! Not about your fucking jealousy scenes that will bring us all to our graves! And now you go up to your bedroom and you won't come out until you put your quarrel aside!" Enzo addressed me and Gino urgently again, while my eyes fell on Dario, whose body was shaking with anger. However, as always, nobody had to disagree with Enzo.

"And you come with me to my office. Giovanna is waiting for you there and is beside herself with grief."

"I'm going to leave her and I don't care if you have anything against it," Dario said suddenly calmly, giving Enzo an expression that didn't bode well.

As Gino pushed me inside on my back, I could still hear Enzo and Dario behind us, arguing loudly, but the least I could do was to stop it, so like a trance, I just kept walking, without another one to look back.

As we walked past Enzo's office, I looked straight into Giovanna's eyes, who was wiping away tears with a handkerchief and looking at me with hatred. It all seemed like my life was slowing down. I would have loved to press pause for just a moment, but I wasn't able to stop this carousel.

"Everything will be fine, don't worry," I heard Gino's dark voice whisper these words sideways into my ear, tirelessly pushing me further up the stairs until we arrived at our bedroom, which I just lost in stopped in the middle of the room and he closed the door behind us.

"You know, baby. I thought I wouldn't be able to cope with this, but without you, Ludovica, I can't cope even more," he said calmly, slowly walking around me and then standing right in front of me. His hands gripped my waist and he looked down at me with a blank smirk while I just gaped at him, not knowing what to say or do. "Please forgive me, anatra. I assure you that I will get better. For you. for us. A situation like today will never happen again."

He placed one of his hands on my cheek and gently rubbed his thumb over my skin, causing me to close my eyes for a moment and try to find a clear thought, but I was so tired, so broken, so confused that I just was completely overwhelmed.

"Gino," I whispered, looking up at him imploringly, lost myself briefly in the depths of his darkness and only breathed deeply and calmly. "I just want to sleep. Can we please talk when I'm a little more rested?"

"Of course. amore mio!" He smiled apologetically and then took off Dario's jacket, letting it fall on the floor and walking to the closet. "You know. anything you want!"

He dug a white shirt out of the closet, then slowly walked up to me and carefully pulled it over my head while I stretched my weak arms up and slipped into the shirt.

"Gino?" I breathed softly and watched him very closely as he got on his knees in front of me and carefully opened my jeans.

"Yes?" he replied immediately, looking up at me with his dark eyes while he pushed my pants off my legs. I lifted my feet one by one, braced my hands on his shoulder and let him help me get out of the tight jeans.

"Does love have anything to do with pain for you?"

I stared at him questioningly and he only slowly got up, clutching my jeans, to give me a confused look. He didn't answer me, so I just kept talking.

"Why do you keep hurting me when I always do everything to please you?"

"I never wanted to hurt you, you have to believe me, amore," he said softly and looked at me so intensely that I just stared at him speechless. "I know I can be very demanding, that I'm not easy to handle and often do the opposite of what I'm supposed to do. I don't know why it is. why I am like this. this Dario hurt me deeply, Ludo. It sure doesn't sound nice, but if you didn't mean anything to me, I probably would have put a bullet in you after something like that."

Eyes wide, I took a deep breath and wanted to take a step back from him, but he grabbed my hips again and pulled me so close that he could rest his forehead on mine and take a deep breath while holding my body tightly in his hands held.

"Let's just forget the past. I beg you from the bottom of my heart.", he breathed and pushed himself even closer to me. "You're the only person who sees more in me than I deserve.I know you didn't mean to hurt me and I forgive you everything.but please don't leave me without a proper chance to have."

He pulled me even closer, embracing my petite body in his strong arms and I hid my face in his chest to just breathe a few times while he rubbed my back soothingly.

Why was he like that? Why was he making all this so difficult for me?

If he were just this impulsive asshole, it would be so easy to leave him. It would be so easy to hate him for all his bad deeds, but not like that. Not when he had that side of him too. The site I fell in love with. The side that just made me feel loved and safe. It was like love was a drug. Like I knew in that moment it was going to ruin me forever, but I was addicted to his Affection. Depending on the feeling of belonging to someone. Even if that someone was not good with their belongings.

It was basically like Dario. I fell in love with him too. His eyes. His own controlling way of dealing with me, but he also had sides to him that I didn't know how to deal with. At first he didn't even want to be touched by me and it was so incredibly easy for him to let Giovanna treat me like a piece of dirt. He just watched while Gino stood up for me.

And yet Gino left me. Alone. and who knows where I would be if Dario hadn't come.

It was all so tricky! I hated it!

"Gino," I whispered out of my thoughts, pushing him slightly away from me to stare up into his fixating eyes. "I urgently need to sleep and I need time and rest."

"Okay," he said immediately, carefully pulling away from me to lead me by my hand to the bed, where he neatly put the covers aside and watched me as I collapsed onto the bed, exhausted. I lay on my side and watched him crouch in front of the bed, feeling his hands grip mine tightly in his. "I have to go again, but I'll be back soon," he whispered, kissing my forehead before getting up and tucking me in. "Go to sleep and please don't worry. I've got everything under control and that cop will never come near you again, I'll make sure of that."

"Gino, wait!" I said immediately when I realized that he would surely go looking for him and I quickly raised my upper body to look up at him in panic. "Please stay!"

"What kind of man would I be if I wasn't looking for the bastard, Ludovica? I made a mistake. If something had happened to you.", he breathed tensely and ran his fingers through his black hair. "I would have died with you."

"You should be a man who puts the welfare of his wife above his own hate! Please stay here! Please!"

Seconds that seemed like forever passed and no matter how torn I felt, I didn't want to be alone now and also didn't want Gino to run into the open knife.

"You want me to stay with you?"

"Yes."

"Does that mean you forgive me?"

I looked at him dazedly for a moment and without thinking, I nodded my head slowly in agreement, causing him to come back to the bed, grinning, and leaning down next to me. His lips brushed mine gently, but instead of just laying down next to me, he quickly pulled away and gave me a triumphant wink. "If you forgive me for all this, then you will also forgive me if I go now, anatra."

Without saying anything else, he turned away from me and headed for the door, but I hurriedly yanked the covers aside and jumped up to run after him.

"Gino! Please wait! He's going to-"

As Gino disappeared out the door, he slammed it from the outside and when I then also heard in the silence how he locked it from the outside, I pounded my hands against the thick wood in desperation and screamed his name over and over again, but I did got no reply.

"You lousy.!" I yelled, banging my head against the door, fighting back tears with all my might, until I leaned my face to the side and looked at the window, through which the sun was already shining shone brightly on this all devastating morning.

"You're not going to play the hero to make things right," I whispered to myself, walking to the window in only my panties and t-shirt, only to throw it open angrily.

I looked around in panic. Saw several security guards with their dogs on the premises and then on the driveway to my left Gino holding his phone to his ear and running to his BMW.

"Gino!" I called after him, but he didn't seem to hear me, so I climbed onto the wide windowsill, resting my butt on the narrow edge and holding onto the frame behind me with one hand while my Legs dangling weightlessly in the air.

"Gino!", I called a little louder again and had to watch wistfully, without being able to do anything, as he got into his car and started it.

"You bastard!" I yelled and was about to kick something in anger until I realized there was nothing and I started to sway.

I lost my balance, fell out of that first floor window, saw the sky above me. and the whole world finally took a break.

and I could breathe deeper than ever before.