Chapter 123: Chapter 123

(Dmitri’s Thoughts)

When the door finally closes as Nikolai takes her home, the emotion I’ve been holding suddenly poured out.

“I am sorry, Avery. I am sorry. I don’t deserve you. I can’t let you suffer anymore,” I bow down almost kissing the ground, I feel wrecked, damaged beyond repair.

I cry my heart out until I almost pass out. Then two warm hands embrace me and collect me from the ground. He lets my head rest on his lap as he strokes my hair and cries with me.

He says nothing but his empathy goes with me. He hugs me tighter as I gasp for more air.

“I don’t think I can leave without her, I don’t think I can. How can I, when the two women I loved the most in my life are now gone?” I whisper and mumble.

“I’ve been hurt before, too, Dee. You know that right? That’s when I realize women will just walk out on me, maybe that’s why I prefer loving men, we don’t walk out from each other, do we?” then he warmly smiles while tears are falling from his eyes.

“I hate seeing you like this, Dee. I hate seeing you hurt. I want to hate her right now, but how can I when you love her with all your heart?” he utters.

I raise my right hand reaching his cheek, and he holds it dearly with both his hands that give me warm on that melancholic night.

***

(Avery’s Thoughts)

The closer I get to my apartment door, the louder I hear my heart pound. This ominous feeling just won’t disappear.

So I stop for a while in the hallway, “What do I expect from coming here? Am I ready to hear his reason? Am I ready to accept if he turned me down again? What if he doesn’t want me anymore?”

Overflowing thoughts wouldn’t give me peace. But I don’t want him to be one of my another regret in life. I need to know why. I, at least, have the right to know what changes.

So I take a deep breath. Each step my foot takes jive with every breath I breathe.

But once I am in front of the door, I couldn’t bring myself to knock. But even before my knuckles rub against the smooth surface of the apartment door, I suddenly hear some noise coming from inside my unit.

A sound of a feminine voice giggling, squealing, flirting with a man with a deep voice penetrates even the thickest walls of my apartment.

“Just how happy do they think they are?” I gulp and I begin to panic.

I decided to eavesdrop so I put my left ear next to the door and concentrate on their voices. But the noise suddenly diminishes. It is no longer their speaking voice I am hearing, but moans and groans of each other’s satisfaction.

I grab the edge of my blouse trying to stop the trembling of my hands from strangling a woman or whoever is inside with Dmitri. No tears flow but my throat is dry.

With every bit of strength I have, and before I even lose my mind, I, at least want to see what’s going on, so that, maybe, I will have the reason to hate and loathe him.

I get the keycard from my purse and tap the security lock, then I listen to them more before I gently and slowly enter my code. But their moans already disappeared, so I stealthily enter, tiptoe and look around as if I’m a robber of my own apartment.

I peek here and there without even knowing what to see. The bedroom door is closed, and there’s no one in the living room, so I lift my each of my foot towards the kitchen counter.

There, the noises appear,

“Darling,” says the one with a high-pitch weird feminine voice, “I want to try being a top someday, but for now, I miss your penis on my backdoor,” then the voice giggles.

I hold my mouth trying not to make any noise. “What am I doing here? I should get out!” I convince myself.

But my body is being drawn nearer.

“Just be gentle for now, or do you want to explode it in my mind,” vulgar words keep on coming out of the voice.

Then another man’s voice is heard, but it is deep and hoarse at the same time, different from Dee’s voice, “I wwant to put it in your every hole, darling. Yet, all I want is to break that ass of yours, now lean forward and show me that ass,” he directly says.

Then I hear two slap sound, “Hmm, your ass is as firm as ever. This is what turns me on the most, I’m goind to lick it first,” adds the man.

The high-pitched voice giggles, “I don’t mind, just tell me before you ransack my butthole.”

Just by listening to them, I feel my stomach getting upset.

“I’m going in now,” the man announces, and once he gets in, the high-pitch voice screams, “Son of a goddamn bitch, Ughh…”

I can sense the pain just from the sound of her voice. And this time, I gather my strength to peek. So that whatever welcomes me would help me move on.

I brace myself and literally hold my chest. I hug my purse as if it can guard me to the pain what’s about to come.

I gulp, and wobbly take a step nearer to them. I show their shadows moving with the painful sound of the woman screaming.

“Uh, oh, fuck. Harder! Yeah, break me more. Fuck me more,” begs the woman. From the looks of their shadows, both of them are tall.

I close my eyes and take a breath, and for the last time convince myself to just walk away and save myself from hurt and embarrassment, “Avery, the door is still there, just get the hell out of here!” says my innerself.

But the stubbornness inside me pushes me forward, and when I peek at them, I only have one reaction.

I stand there frozen, saying nothing, doing nothing, just contemplating in my mind why the fuck is Dmitri’s face kissing my kitchen counter. Why is this tall gorgeous man I love is now leaning before another person, pinned at the edge of the counter?

Why Dmitri, the man I love, and his quirky high-pitch voice is reacting to every thrust this huge man behind him is doing. Why is someone else’s penis in his butt? Why is he enjoying the pain of being fucked at the back.

I can feel my body turn numb, if I’m not exaggerating, my blood flow probably stops as well at this moment.

I feel that my whole soul is escaping my body right now.

I blink, several times, I scratch my eyes, trying to unsee the sexual event happening in front of me.

Both of them are so absorbed with what they doing to notice my presence. Suddenly, this tall masculine man, with a big tattoo on his back pulls Dmitri’s hair, and he turns his body around.

Now they are facing each other, their two swords battling each other. Then they begin to touch each other, stroke each other, make each other much bigger. Then he holds Dmitri’s chin and pull him closer.

He bites his lower lip, and sucks out his tongue, and then fully play with it. They don’t care about the line of saliva forming as their tongue intertwined with each other. Then he pushes Dmitri down.

And Dmitri obediently kneel down in front of his penis. I ask myself, “Why are you kneeling down Dmitri? You were never like that when you are with me. You you taught me everything I know in sex, right? D-did you learn it from him?”

They still don’t notice my presence, so I get to watch a little more, even though in reality, I feel that everything I ate since last week is about to come out now. I try to swallow to control it.

I don’t want to blow here. The word blow, I hear it from the man as well. Is he reading my mind, or is he talking about the other things.

“Blow me. Suck my dick, bury it deep in your throat,” and as soon as the man say it, Dmitri begins to lick every side of his penis, inclusing his balls. Then not long, Dmitri opens his mouth, wide enough to do the man’s command.

But when he feels choking even if it is just up to the middle, the man gives him a hand, and controls the movement of his head.

I could hear it loud and clear, the gaggling sound from Dmitri’s mouth. I want to stop him, I want to stop his hand from pushing Dmitri too far.

Dmitri’s head, even his forehead is now red.

“Why Dee? You used to eat me, you like it when I suck yours, too. Then explain why?” another thought runs to my mind.

Then Art came to my mind, all the things he said about Dmitri, or DeAndre. Everything flashes like lightning, “So what? There’s a term bisexual, in case you forgot, ladies. Interested in both men and women” these exact words.

“Is Dmitri really bisexual? How come I never see it coming? No! That’s impossible. Really impossible!”

Unknowingly, I whimpers, “No, Dmitri,” in a very soft manner. But that is good enough to disturb and alarm the two of them.

When I look up, both of them are staring at me.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” says the tall man who obviously feels upset of my untimely entrance.

But Dmitri holds his hand, a gentle hold in his hand, just like the way he used to hold mine.

And the naked Dmitri walks towards me, and with his quirky high-pitched feminine voice I’ve never heard of, he begins to address me, “A-Avery?”

“I–I just forgot my engagement ring, a—and I, drop by to g-give the stamp for my s-signatu-re,” I stutter like a kid.

I step back and he walks towards me, “S-stop! D-don’t come!”

And he does as I say, “Look, Avery! I-it’s not what you think! I–I’m no–”

“Shh! I’ve seen enough,” then I put down my signature stamp and picks my engagement ring up, and shows it to him, “Here, I get what I–I need now, you c-can continue what y-you’re doing!”

“Avery, wait,” he grabs my hand with the same hand he uses to play with that man’s penis. So I throw it away and says something I never expected to say to him, “Don’t you fucking dare to touch me with those filthy hands, Dmitri!”

And just like that, my anger burst out and a strong slap of my right hand connects to his both right and left cheek, a couple slap as they call it.

“How dare you touch me you disgusting piece of shit mother fucker!” I never even thought I’m capable of using curse words in a simple sentence.

“Y-you took my virginity! I left everyone for you! A-and I almost break my engagement for you! How dare you!” I shout.

The man is about to come to his rescue but he stops him.

“Avery, you are wrong,” his feminine shows up even with the way he speaks, something I didn’t notice even yesterday. What a quick change of persona!

He keeps on blabbing about how wrong I am, wrong with what?

“Avery, I am not D–!”

“–Stop your lies now. You don’t need to pretend anymore. Be happy, Dmitri!” and I turn around and never look back.

He is saying something about ‘not’ and ‘wrong’ but who really gives a damn right?

I walk out of the apartment bulding, and the moment I smell the fresh breath of air, and the sun rays touch my skin, that’s when I realize how disgusting that scene is.

I vomit, and literally vomit nonstop on the street, and suddenly I feel like collapsing any moment.

I vomit not because I am homophobic but because the person I had sex with multiple times, the person I love with all my heart isn’t someone I was hoping him to be.

And there, my eyes close automatically.