Chapter 121: Chapter 121

(Avery's Thoughts)

I suddenly wake up with a pondering headache.

I massage my temples and then press my fingertips against my nose bridge in a circular motion, trying to get the relief that I need.

I try my best to crawl myself off the bed so I can at least wash my face and give it a rest from the heavy make-up and foundation covering it.

Though my legs won't listen to me, I put my best effort so my soles would stay connected on the hotel floor.

With so much desperation, I finally reach the sink. I wait for the water to gush out from the faucet and begin to rinse my face, "Oh, god, this feels so refreshing."

But looking at the mirror in front of me scares the hell out of me, "What the!" are the first words that come out of my mouth.

What appeared in the mirror was the reflection of a woman without any finesse of her own, tangled hair, erased eyeshadow, smudged mascara and tainted lips.

"How the hell did I get home looking like this? My God!"

I hold my head and slightly pat the painful region, "This headache will be the death of me, ugh," I focus on the pain alone.

After that, I cleanse my face and erase any stain of barrassment.

"Embarrassment!" the word suddenly ticks.

"How much did I embarrass myself? I need to remember!" but forcing myself results to nothing good. In fact, it only worsens my headache.

"Avery, you should stop drinking if you still want to walk outside with your head held high. Your drinking habits are getting out of hand by the day," I warn myself and promise myself not to do it anymore.

I sigh and go back to bed to take more rest.

However, it seems my mind won't give me a rest today.

Why? Because the very moment the back of my head touches my expensive comfortable pillow, memories and flashes of events from yesterday's argument runwild like there's no tomorrow.

My body automatically reacts with every moment my head gets hold of.

The last conversation I had with Dmitri is nothing less than a nightmare, something that I wish to redo.

It only needs a trigger, but the fact that it still lingers in my mind clearly explains the heavy feeling I have iny my heart right now.

"I can't love you anymore, Avery, nor I can be with you!" his voice and his words echoe and resonate in my head.

The scene got clearer in my mind. His face is vivid in my memory, the face that holds so much despair and pain just by seeing me.

Until now, I just can't believe what he just said to me.

What's with his change of heart? Why did the windblow suddenly change?

Now, tears flow from my eyes again, illustrating the smudged mascara and erased eyeshadow earlier.

I keep on pounding the pillow resting on my thighs to alleviate every pain poking my heart.

"Why Dmitri, why?" the same question I asked him last time.

In my memory, I heard myself, "Tell me you don't love me anymore, tell me I am not worth your time. Tell me all the things we shared, the sex, the touch, the kiss, the precious moments, tell me those are all nothing, tell me!"

My voice quivered at that time, "If you knew how to move on, if you learned how to completely live without me, please, I am begging you, help me, teach me, for fuck's sake tell me how not to love you. Because clearly I tried, but I failed."

But he just stood there and said nothing. He cried yes, he was crying, but why? Nothing was clear.

I came there to finally choose him, to proudly say I am choosing him over Jeff, to give us another chance, but what I got in return was nothing but rejection, heartache, and disappointment.

And then Nik came. He came to collect me, as if I was a piece of trash needed to disperse.

The funny thing was, he didn't dispose me himself, he asked someone to do it for him.

And that's how we ended unofficially.

***

And now here I am crying over him, again and again and again by just remembering how he treated me yesterday.

The pain I felt suddenly turns into rage and desperation.

"No, it shouldn't end like this. He must at least tell me the reason why. I should at least deserve that, right?"

So I collect myself from bed, go straight to my closet and find the nicest dress I have and fix myself.

The next thing I know is I'm already sitting on a cab on the way to his penthouse. But he wasn't there.

Well, aside from the stupid decision I made forgetting that only his thumbprint could make the elevator works, the receptionist told me that he went out early in the morning, and I don't think she's lying.

So, I go straight to his office, but his secretary told me that he's on leave for a week.

Leaving without any other options, I called Nik.

It takes a while before he answered, "Avery? Hey, I am actually at home right now, so Kendra isn’t with me,” he whispers knowing that his wife could be anywhere near him.

“Oh, no! Actually, I called you,” I clarify.

“Oh,” he sounds surprised, “Uh, what is it? D-did something happen? D-did Kendra say something?” he stutters.

“Kendra? No! Not about her,” I answer. And somehow there’s a sigh of relief from him.

He speaks again, “Then, why did you call me? Do you, uh, need something?”

“Yes, yes please. Is Dmitri at your wife’s house right now? Or could you at least tell me where he is right now? I really really need to talk to him,” my mouth moves on its own as if I’m a rapper. Hoping that Nik could help me out on this.

“Uh, sorry Avery. But I don’t know where he is, did you already try his penthouse? Or maybe office?” he asks.

“Yes, and he’s not there, either of those place,” I sigh and he probably kinda sense my disappointment.

“I am sorry, Avery. I wish I knew. But if ever, I’ll call you when I talk to him, okay?” he reassures me.

“Thanks, Nik,” I respond shortly.

“So, is everything okay?” concerned about me, he couldn’t help but ask.

My mood becomes even sadder when he asked, “No, Nik. Love is complicated, isn’t it?” is all I could say.

And with so much empathy, he utters, “Take it from me, Avery. Take it from me.”

“Anyway, thanks. Please call me, okay?” I ask him a favor.

“Sure. And hey, what about the apartment? Kendra mentioned he kinda now owns it, have you tried?” and with his idea, a ray of hope suddenly lightens my mood.

“No, but, thank you! I’ll check there,” and instantly end the call to go straight to the apartment. I take a taxi once again, and while on my way, I think. Yeah, he’s probably there. I already gave him the duplicate keycrd, and he knew my passcode.

I hit my head with my knuckles, “I actually thought he won’t be there since that’s where we had the argument yesterday night. Why didn’t I think of it right away?”

In desperate mode, I prepare my speech for Dmitri, “Wait for me, Dmitri Sullivan. I am going to show you why you don’t mess with Avery Anderson. You can’t just leave me like that!”

I clench my fist while rubbing it on my silk dress out of panic.

I don’t know why I feel so nervous, but here we go.