Chapter 120: Chapter 120

(Avery’s Thoughts)

It’s been three days since K and Art’s visit. It’s also been three days since Dmitri called me. Now, I can’t get what Art said off my mind.

But I instantly shake the thought off everything it enters my mind, “There’s no way Dmitri is gay. First, he is good in bed. Second, he loves women. And third, he loves me very much.”

“Don’t forget the word bisexual!” a thought comes in.

So I block it, “But there are no signs of being one.”

“Then why can’t he marry you instead. Why did that Macau brat say those things?”

“That’s because Dmitri is afraid of marriage itself, given what happened to his mom and dad,” I convince myself, countering every negative thought.

“Then, who did Art see at that party? You know that Art would never lie or make a story.”

“Probably it was an honest mistake, or maybe, it looked like Dee.”

“Then why did Dmitri frown when Art calls him DeAndre?”

“I wouldn’t be happy either if someone mistakenly call me by other names, duh!”

Finally, the thoughts inside my head are now gone. I just wish I can deeply sleep this time. So I lay on my bed and close my eyes.

***

As I get into a deep slumber, a scene appears in front of me. “Am I dreaming?” I guess I am.

“Avery, dear, are you done?” I suddenly heard my mom’s voice in my dream. I am pretty sure it was my mom’s. How I miss hearing your voice Mom.

A younger version of me answered back, “Coming mom! Did Dad prepare everything we needed? I hope we could find a good spot for camping tonight.”

I was suddenly reminded of this, and I smiled. We used to go camping at least once a month. Many couldn’y understand why, but my parents and I were pretty close to each other even after I hit puberty stage. I loved being around them, and I would choose hanging out with them instead of my friends. Well, all except Kendra, who literally hijacked every camping trip we had.

She was like my real sister, and she was indeed a part of our family. So when they died, I knew a part of her died, too.

And, for so long I felt like a living dead, too.

But bit by bit, I recovered. And it’s been a while since I last dreamed of them. Maybe, I am so stressed right now and they knew I needed someone to pamper me.

Going back to my dream, I saw Dad parking the red sedan he always drove everywhere we go. Then he called us out, “Hey girls, we need to hit the road now, come on!”

“Coming!” said Mom and the younger me.

Suddenly, the scenario changed from one hot sunny weather to a foggy cold night.

Automatically my legs gave up so I found myself sitting on the ground, wherever this was.

I saw a tunnel and cars got stuck in a traffic due to an accident. And I knew this accident very well, it was that night,

“The night of my birthday, the night when they died in that traggic aiccdent, the night when I got angry at them for being so late, the night when I asked them to hurry up, the night when I got them killed,” I broke, and so do my tears.

“Had I not yelled at them, had I not asked them to hurry, they would have been alive,” this is my biggest regret in life, something that I could never forgive about myself.

To where I was sitting right now, I hugged my knees and buried my face and cried all the tears left in me. Later on, I felt a warm sensation patting my shoulder, two hands rubbing both my shoulders.

When I looked back, I saw them, I saw Mom and Dad, they were smiling at me, they visited me on my dreams. Tears yet again start flowing out from my eyes.

“Mom, Dad,” I whispered. Even though I knew it was only a dream, I got to talk with them again.

“I’m sorry. I miss you. I love you,” words that I never got to tell them, words that they would never hear ever again.

And they both smiled at me, “Avery, my baby, it’s time to move on, it’s time to truly be happy,” my Dad, who was always my adviser gave me his last piece of advice.

“I-I don’t know how, I am confused. I made a lot of mistakes, including your death, and–and now, look at me, I am wrecked right now. I don’t know who to choose, I hurt a lot of people,” I cry.

“That’s what you called living, honey, Avery. Remember what I always told you? Choose what makes you truly happy, and in order to do that, you must be true to yourself more than anyone else,” said Mom, who was always my confidant.

And as the surroundings got darker and their images began to disappear, I desperately called to them and reached them, but time had run out.

Just like in this dream, I need to face the reality before it’s too late.

“Thank you, mom, dad,” and just like that I woke up from my dreams. I am now awake with a pillow soak in tears.

I hug the body pillow and find comfort in it.

“I think it’s time,” I say to myself.

Right on time, the phone on my bedside table rings, and when I pick it up, I see Jeff’s name on the screen.

“The first step I need to do towards my happiness is now calling me,” my mind says so I take a deep breath before answering it.

“Hello, babe. Did I wake you?” Jeff says in a warm manner.

“Uh, it’s alright, I am up anyway. How’s your day? Are you on your wat home?” I ask him.

“Hmm, yeah?” he responds shortly. And I hear some noise from his background.

“Where are you, anyway? What’s that noise?” I ask him, though, I can’t distinguish what that is.

“Uh, well, just a busy street you know. Anyway, I got to go,” he ends the conversation quickly.

“Wait–” I halt him.

“–Yes, babe? What is it?” he then asks.

“C-can we talk tonight? I-I have something to tell you, Jeff. And it’s very important. I wish I could fly to France but I couldn’t get a flight in time,” I explain to him.

“Me, too. I want to tell you something,” he says in a serious manner, then he adds, “I just want you to know, Avery Anderson, I love you so much.”

Words got stuck in my tongue when I hear him say those words. I, I just can’t say it back anymore, can I?

“Jeff, I–” but once I begin to respond, I hear my phone’s warning notification, three beeping sounds before the battery completely runs out.

“Shit!” I curse, “You really have the worse timing, huh?” I scold my innocent phone and charge it.