Chapter 61: Chapter 61

She couldn't breathe.

Or at least that was the feeling that the crying crisis was giving her, amid the tears and completely uncontrolled sobs.

In her hands, some words from Logan's letter were no longer even legible because of the tears she had shed over them, staining the ink and making it run almost as if the paper was crying too.

Always at her side, Rey began to squawk and whine anxiously as she snuggled into the space under her arm, almost as if she were trying to offer her comfort in the form of a hug. Missy, however, wasn't able to do much more than hug the papers to her chest, wishing that the words of Logan's confession could somehow materialize him there, in her arms.

Because, in a confusing, maddening way, she wanted him right there, right next to her. So that she could cry for all that he had revealed and for knowing that, however indirectly and unintentionally, he had contributed to one of the worst moments of her life. So she could say that now she understood why he always looked so guilty and hesitant when she said something about him not being able to hurt her. To say that he had indeed committed a great succession of mistakes...

But mostly so she could tell him that a big part of her understood.

After all, for how many and how many years had she herself been afraid of rejection? How long had she herself spent trying to do her best for others, only to be rejected in the end? She didn't know if she would be able to lie to Logan like he had done to her, but... The night they'd watched the shooting stars rain down before they made love, she wasn't ready to break up with him without even a second thought. even ask how he felt, just because she was afraid of being rejected when he found the woman who was meant for him? Not so long ago, wasn't she herself driven by her own insecurity?

And he had been there for her, to help her overcome her feelings of inferiority. So many other people who were supposed to love her had already made mistakes just as bad as theirs, like Liam and her mother... But still, none of them had stayed by her side, or regretted their actions, let alone put in the effort. to help her overcome the damage her actions had caused. Logan yes. Of course, it still hurt that he'd kept it from her for so long. But at the same time, where would she be now if he hadn't been there for her? Not just physically, between the sheets, but also supporting her with every new step she took, every moment when she managed to love herself a little more and overcome all the harm that a lifetime of being undeserved had done to her? Wasn't it his words that made her realize that she liked being herself? Was it not her gestures that made you realize that she deserved to be loved exactly as she was?

Wasn't it the love they had for each other that made the last three months the happiest of her life?

Heavens, she knew Logan almost as much as she knew herself. He could have been wrong, but she knew he was sorry. She had seen it in his eyes even two days ago, in her office, when he had tried to pull her into his arms. But she had been so hurt and hurt in that moment that she hadn't even stopped to think about the depth of emotion in his expression. She wasn't just suffering from him having deceived her, but also from being apart and, inexplicably, she knew he was feeling the same: the feeling of having a part of her ripped away. An agonizing emptiness in her soul that seemed about to consume her completely.

Would they really be able to stay away from each other? Living only through your son? Wouldn't they eventually succumb to passion again? That one of them wouldn't show up at the other's door one morning, exhausted from pretending they were actually managing to live without each other? How long would that hurt be able to make her forget how much she loved him, how much she missed him and how she couldn't be truly happy away from Logan?

Through tears, Missy couldn't help a shaky laugh escape. Because the hurt had never been able to make her forget. The shock and pain of discovering that he had lied to her, something Missy had never expected from him, had been strong, it was true, as well as disturbing and almost disabling. But they were no greater than the love that was between them. Deep down, she had always known that. They still needed to talk about everything he'd revealed in that letter, of course. But now, after reading his words, Missy was sure that this succession of misunderstandings would never be able to overcome the love they felt for each other.

The truth was, nothing, and no one, ever would.

And as long as they were together, they could face absolutely anything, Missy knew.

Heavens, what was she still doing sitting there?

She needed to go to him.

Seeming excited to see her mood change so drastically, Rey began to bark happily, her tail wagging frantically, as she bounced around Missy's feet on the ground, almost as if she were agreeing with her last thought.

- I have to go to him, Rey. – Missy smiled, euphoric, as she took Rey in her arms to kiss her furry head – I promise I'll come back to get you as soon as possible, okay?

Again, Rey just barked excitedly, sitting comfortably on the carpet as she watched Missy run to where her car keys were, throwing only a coat over the sweatpants she was wearing, before running to the building's garage, barely registering her surroundings. Thankfully, the drive to Logan's house – or rather, their house – passed in a blur, as anxiety and longing squeezed her heart almost to the point of stopping. Finally, once parked in front of his house, Missy turned the extra key she had in her wallet and opened the handle with such anxiety that she wondered if Logan thought the house was being broken into – which, technically, it was. .

However, as she walked through the hall towards the living room, Missy didn't hear a single sound and she was afraid that he had left the house... Until finally she saw him sitting on the end of the sofa farthest from the room. : an almost ghostly sight that made your eyes water immediately. Because that haggard and paralyzed man, looking almost like a corpse on the sofa, did not at all resemble the man she loved. The broad shoulders were hunched down and the limbs looked listless with no strength. There were two visibly fresh cuts over his eyebrow and at one corner of his mouth, and a purplish bruise on his left cheek. His skin was sickly pale, contrasting even more with the deep dark circles under his green eyes, which stared listlessly at any point on the ground, with absolutely no sparkle or emotion.

Much more than desolate, he looked... empty. Without life.

- Logan? she asked hesitantly, in a brittle, worried voice.

At the sound of her voice, Logan shot to his feet, practically leaping off the couch, staring at her with such disbelief that he even looked…scared. Afraid, Missy stayed where she was, waiting for the moment when he would say something… But Logan didn't. He just stared at her, blinking rapidly, almost as if he couldn't believe his eyes, his broad chest rising and falling faster and faster, looking ready to hyperventilate. Finally, after a time that seemed almost interminable to her, Logan began to take a few unsteady steps forward, as if he feared getting too close to her.

- You… - his voice sounded hoarse and suffocated – Are you real?