Chapter 60: Chapter 60

- Missy… – she could almost see him gulp, fearful – I… I know you don't want to see me, but… I had to come here… – he continued, waiting for a moment longer, almost as if he was hoping she might respond, but then his voice rang out again, anguished – I know I don't deserve this, but… Could I just… Hear the sound of your voice? , please? he begged, which made Missy's aching chest tighten, but still, all she was able to do was hold back a sob, not trusting what she might end up saying to him, if she dared to speak.

- I understand… - Logan finally sighed, sounding more hurt than ever – I… I just came to leave something for you. Something I wrote to try and explain myself, even though my apologies are probably the last thing you want to hear. – he muttered, defeated – I promise I won't disturb you any more than I already have. I just... I wanted you to know everything. And I wanted you to know... - the hoarseness in his voice indicated that he was on the verge of tears, or maybe even already in tears - That, even if I was never worthy of you and everything we had together... And even if I don't deserve your forgiveness... I love you, Missy. – he declared, with so much love and desolation that Missy had to literally dig her nails into the couch to not go to him – And, even if we spend the rest of our lives apart... I will love you, and only you, to ever. – There were so many seconds of silence after that ardent statement from him that Missy think that he had already silently walked away, but then his tormented voice rang out again, as fragile as crystal – Goodbye... My love.

The sound of his footsteps walking away across the hall floor left her paralyzed for so long that Missy could hardly tell if it had been hours or just a few minutes, until she finally managed to coax her trembling legs to move her sobbing, weeping body to the bed. front door, coming across a set of some sheets of paper that had been passed under the threshold, written with such force that, even from a distance, she could see the lines written in black ink.

Taking, with hesitant hands, the letter he had left, Missy slowly made the reverse path, returning to the sofa where Rey was waiting for her in an alert position, clearly tense. Once seated, she could only stare at the papers in her hand for a few moments, completely listless, unable to muster the strength to read the words that would tell her something she wasn't sure she really wanted to know. But this time, his body seemed to function on its own, and even though it was now his head that was fearful, his fingers unfolded the papers until he found Logan's elegant handwriting, written with such force that the paper looked as if it had been about to break. tear yourself apart in a few sentences.

And, taking a sharp intake of breath, she allowed her eyes to begin to read that letter and to cry, knowing that those were the first of many tears she would surely shed over the course of that letter.

“To my beloved Missy,

I know that my words must no longer be of any value to you. And rightly so. I know perfectly well what all these months carrying this lie do to me. Not just in your eyes, but in mine as well. But as much as I know I don't deserve it, I would still like to try to explain to you everything that led me to act this way, even if you may never read it. And again, with good reason.

I know that now you no longer believe me, but everything I told you over these months was true: it first took me more than a whole year to admit to myself that I was truly in love with you, and that my feeling was more than that just part of an ancient magic. With each passing day, I loved his smile, his eyes, his kindness, his personality more and more deeply... And then, when I finally overcame the obstacle of stubbornness that I had put in my way. .. I had to endure more than 09 months seeing her in the arms of another man and suffering for it. Every day, I felt the hatred and jealousy corroding me from the inside out, making me want to kill him with my own hands, because I knew he would never be worthy of you. Though now, more than ever, I know I'm not either.

However, I managed to control myself and not interfere in your relationship, even though I knew that his mother was nothing more than a social climber trying to get status through you and that he was also a huge profiteer who did not treat her as she deserved, because I thought that, somehow you were happy. But even so, like the selfish and jealous creature that I still am, every day I said a little prayer whenever I saw her with him: I asked fate, which bound my heart and soul to his irreversibly, to allow me to have a chance to prove that I could make her happy. I longed for the day to come when I could hold her in my arms forever. And that's how this whole lie started.

Firstly, I caught them rubbing up against each other inconspicuously in one of my studios and it pissed me off. How could that damned piece of shit have the most formidable woman in the world by her side and still betray her, risking breaking her heart? So when they tried in vain to hide it, I threatened them for the first time. I tried to get them to confess everything to you right then and there, so that you wouldn't have to find out about their betrayal by kissing them one day. I knew finding out about them would hurt you, but I just couldn't bear knowing you were being lied to and just turning a blind eye to it. And, of course, I won't be a hypocrite. After all, you know me well enough to know what I thought at that moment. Selfishly, I hoped that once he was away from you and your heart healed from the wound it would leave, then I could get closer to you, as I should have done from the beginning.

However, cynically, they continued to deny it, saying they were just good friends and all kinds of outright lies. All of this, of course, just pissed me off even more. Since that time, I already had plans to fire them and kick them out of our lives forever, but I feared that they might do something even worse to hurt her, since I no longer had my eyes on them. And, more than anything, I just couldn't take it any longer knowing that you were being lied to and used like that without doing anything. Therefore, I decided that I needed concrete proof, both so that I could compel them to confess the truth, so that you could believe that the betrayal was true, in case they still refused to be honest and I had to tell about it to you. It was then that I asked Paul, like the excellent private detective that he is, to follow Newton and Foster around the agency. And, of course, it didn't take more than a few days for him to send me a series of compromising materials about the two of them.

But I'm a coward, Missy. Always have been, when it comes to how I feel about you. And, like a coward, once I had those photos and that video in my hands, I wasn't able to go to you and immediately debunk them, as Paul advised me to do. As much as I wanted you to discover the truth, I feared that you would resent me for being the one to reveal this betrayal to you. I also feared that things would get out of hand if I involved her sister in all this and she herself decided to settle accounts with Newton and Foster, which was perhaps my worst mistake. If I had been honest with her from the start, maybe this whole disaster could have been avoided and now her relationship with my brother wouldn't be in jeopardy because of my many mistakes, too.

The truth is, I just wanted those two assholes to be honest with you so you could kick them out of your life once and for all. So, like a fool, I just sent those files to Foster, saying I'd fired them both in a heartbeat, in case she and Newton dared not only deny they were having an affair again, but refuse to admit it to you. It was then that she promised me that she would reveal everything to you on the day of that cursed party, before you could even set foot in that detestable woman's house.

But, of course, she didn't.

I spent all that day charging her, on the verge of a fury and already determined to fire them both, so that I myself could reveal their treachery to you in private, however much that might ruin our newly forged friendship. So when that night came and I found you in the garden, I panicked for a moment, thinking that they had confessed everything and yet you had forgiven them. However, it soon became clear that Foster hadn't been honest yet again, and so I just resigned myself to the fact that she would keep putting it off and I would have to be the bearer of bad news myself, especially when that crazy woman said that her son I had asked you to marry me. I don't think I've ever felt as much desire to tear another human being apart as I did at that moment...

Until we heard the commotion in the living room and then it dawned on me. I realized what an idiot I had been to think that someone like Foster would let himself be beaten so easily. And, right before my eyes, she used something I had done just to have proof that you were being cheated on, and so you could get out of Newton's clutches, and turned it into something to humiliate and belittle her- in the middle of all those people. I'll never forget the pain in her eyes that night and how my heart seemed to bleed with every sob I saw her give as I took care of you. There I was, finally close to you physically, but carrying the guilt of knowing I was also responsible for you being so hurt. But even with all the weight of guilt and regret tearing at my insides, once again I chickened out. I convinced myself that I needed to take care of you for at least just that one night, before I finally admitted everything I had done.

But then you talked about revenge and that plan suddenly formed in my mind. A perfect opportunity to get close to you, to hold you in my arms, to try to make you forget about him, to get over everything that had happened... And, above all, to show you how much I loved you and pray that maybe , you could love me too. Then again, I convinced myself that I wouldn't tell you anything, at least until we were closer and I could have a heart-to-heart with you, so that I could make you understand that I never intended to be a part of anything that happened. Foster pitched.

And so, day after day, I found new excuses, new reasons to remain silent, to keep you by my side, to make our relationship deeper and deeper... Until you said you loved me... And I still hadn't told you the truth. That's when I finally realized how I had let this situation go too far, because of my cowardice. But still, I couldn't get over it. Rather, selfishly, I began to wonder if I could wait until our wedding. When would we be one each other forever, even though I know that would be terribly treacherous with you. But even my selfishness couldn't silence my guilty conscience…and Foster.

From the day after the party, when she returned to the agency, I wanted to kill her for what she had done to you, or at the very least make sure she never worked as a model again in her life... But then she wanted to blackmail me , threatening to reveal the truth to you if I didn't start favoring you over the other models. And I threatened to ruin her career in return if she actually followed through on that threat, which left us not only at an impasse but also a Cold War. Completely out of character as she was, Foster seemed terribly offended as our relationship evolved, and more and more as time went on, she returned to trying to blackmail me, which made me realize that I really needed to send her away from me. us, if I wanted to go through with my selfish decision to hide the truth from you, perhaps forever. So when I caught them doing something that warranted immediate dismissal, I simply took the opportunity, both to feel I was avenging you and to send the two of you away from us once and for all.

But, as you know, Foster didn't let it go. And suddenly she was finding ways to break into the agency and once again try to blackmail me, wanting her job back in exchange for silence. Until you caught her leaving my office one of those times and I finally realized that I wouldn't be able to lie to you for the rest of our lives, especially not when you knew something was wrong. But, as always, afraid of losing her, I promised myself that I would reveal everything after our wedding... Until, suddenly, you and Megan appeared in the doorway of my office and it all came crashing down on me.

I was already aware of how serious my mistakes and omissions had been. But now they cost me you. I will never be able to find words to describe how much I regret it. And I'm sorry, my love, for absolutely everything. For asking Paul to record that video, instead of simply having the courage to tell you personally about Newton's betrayal. For being one of those responsible for the worst night of your life. For keeping that lie and deliberately ignoring every opportunity I had to tell you the truth, just to save myself from losing you. And most of all I'm really sorry that I lost you and destroyed our love because of my foolish mistakes.

I know I deserve you not forgiving me, and I promise I won't question your decision to walk away from me. But still, I just couldn't let everything we've built together fall apart without telling you, one last time, how much I love you with every ounce of my being and how grateful I am to have had you in my life. my life, even if for a little while. I know I will love you even after I take my last breath and I just want you to know that this feeling is not just a consequence of my family's legacy. You were building it and feeding it inside me, with every smile, with every gesture, every time you took care of me and cared about me and allowed me to do the same for you. It wasn't fate, legacy or even magic that made me fall so deeply in love with you, my Missy, and now I realize it. It was simply you.

It was always just you.

Be happy, my Missy, and continue to love yourself more and more each day, so that you never forget how you deserve the entire universe and beyond. As for me, I dare not question your decision regarding us, whatever that may be. I will say that prayer every day again, this time for you to come back to me, but I will not be selfish again to try to insist that you love me again, knowing that I was responsible for our breakup. I'm going to spend the rest of my life suffering from not having you by my side and knowing that the only one to blame for this is me. And if one day, it doesn't matter if it's a day from now or 100 years ago, you think maybe it's worth forgiving me and giving me one more chance, know that I'll still be in the same place, just waiting for you.

But no matter what happens, even though I know you probably despise me right now, my heart will remain with you. It may be broken, but it's still all yours. Every little shard of it belongs to you, my love. Every part of me belongs to you after all. And will belong forever.

With all the love that's in me,

Forever Yours,

Logan Knight.”