Chapter 59: Chapter 59

- Missy, please, you have to eat...!

Lifting her heavy eyes, Missy looked down at her sister, completely curled up on the couch, with Rey cuddled against her chest, gently licking her cheek as soon as she realized she'd woken up. A little confused, Missy looked around for a second, wondering why she was back in her old apartment, instead of her new house...

That's when she realized: not her home. Logan's house.

The man she'd always believed would never be able to hurt her, yet still broke her heart into a million pieces, leaving her with a deadly painful emptiness in her chest and the feeling that she could never be happy again.

And, as had been the case for the past two days, her eyes automatically filled with tears, but Missy tried in vain to repress them, so as not to worry Megan any more than she obviously already did. After all, not only had Missy moved back into that apartment, but so had Megan, after the fight with Devon and Logan in the office that had, unfortunately, destroyed both of their hearts. Since then, the two of them had moved back in together, while her sister was always trying to make sure she was at least eating, even if they were both miserable – in ways that were strangely similar and yet different.

At least, until that moment, Megan didn't seem to have realized that not only was she not sleeping well, she wasn't sleeping in conventional places, like a pile of sheets on the laundry room floor, near where Rey's bed used to be. Her bedroom bed had a lot of Logan memorabilia in it, so she had convinced Megan to sleep there. However, she soon realized that the sofa also carried many memories, as well as the walls, the kitchen and even the floor... Every little inch of that place, which used to be her home, was now impregnated with millions of sweet memories of that man, which now only hurt her even more... But they were memories she didn't want to let go of.

Unlike what had happened with Liam, where she had struggled to pull away and ignore anything that might remind her of her trauma, Missy just couldn't bring herself to think about leaving her apartment to go to a hotel or anywhere else. neutral and sterile where she wouldn't remember Logan every step of her day. Because a big part of her just didn't want to forget him. Why even all the hurt and disappointment weren't able to kill the love she felt for him.

And that possibility was depressing her more and more: the certainty that she would love him forever, however disappointed she was with what he had done.

What would she do then?

- Come on, Missy, eat, please... - She only realized that she had lost herself again in her thoughts when her sister's low and dejected voice pleaded, holding out a bowl full of chicken soup at her height. your eyes — It is not good for the baby that you go so long without food.

With a sigh, Missy just shook her head, enjoying the warmth of the warm bowl in her hands far more than the smell of the broth.

- You're right. – she smiled sadly at her sister, gently caressing her belly with one of her hands, which made Rey immediately give her a lick there. She didn't know if the little dog was doing that because she knew that a little life was growing inside her or if she simply thought that Missy was hurt, since every now and then her hands went down to caress that place. Thank you, Megan. - Missy thanked you weakly, while taking a spoonful of the chicken soup, being relieved to feel her sensitive stomach accept the warm broth without getting wrapped up.

- You're welcome. – Megan also smiled, her head down – After all, the two of us are going to have to take care of this little one for a long time, aren't we?

- Did you… - Missy swallowed hard, with a worrying idea suddenly hitting her – Did you ever tell any of the Knights… About the baby? – she asked hesitantly, even knowing that, eventually, all the Knights would have to know about her son…

Especially Logan.

God, she didn't want to have to think about that right now...

- Of course not! – Megan roared, angrily, dropping onto the sofa before curling up in a ball too, hiding her chin between her knees – Devon Knight will be lucky if I speak to him again in this century…! She muttered, sulking.

- Oh, Megan... - Missy lamented sadly, placing the bowl on the coffee table so she could take her sister's hands and look her in the eyes, so that Megan could see how serious she was - Listen... I I know you're mad at him, but... I really think you two should talk...

- What? – Megan choked, not only amazed, but also offended – Missy, that man knew that his brother was responsible for you being humiliated in that way and you didn't say anything to me! How can I forgive him?!

- If the situation were the opposite and I asked you not to tell him something about me, no matter how bad it was... How would you act? – even with the pain in her chest throbbing when she was reminded of what Logan had done, Missy still gathered the strength to ask that question, already knowing perfectly well what her sister's answer would be.

Leaning back as if she'd just had the biggest scare, Megan first audibly gasped, blinking rapidly for a few seconds, before opening and closing her mouth several times, almost as if she'd forgotten how to speak. Finally, her brows creased slowly, leaving her face with an expression that was not only irritated but also deeply reflective.

- Let him explain, Megan. – Missy encouraged her gently – You two love each other. It's not fair that what Logan did... tore the two of you apart too. – she said, her voice cracking – I promise I'll be fine. Missy forced herself to smile, even faintly, knowing that once Megan made it to Devon, she most likely wouldn't be returning to that apartment again.

Her sister might even be trying, out of grief, to mask what she was feeling. But it was painfully obvious how much she missed her husband.

Just like she missed Logan.

No, she couldn't think about him now! She had to show Megan that she would be fine on her own. And crying wouldn't help her with that.

'But…' Megan bit her lip hesitantly.

- Now it's very different from last time. I will not be alone. – Missy rested her hand protectively and lovingly over her stomach – And I'm going to start taking better care of myself from now on. I will never allow my broken heart to harm my baby. – she stated, determined, as she took the bowl of chicken soup again, while Rey snuggled against her thigh, looking more relaxed – Don't worry about me, okay? I have Rey and my son to keep me company and you can visit whenever you like. Just... Go talk to him, Megan. – she asked, melancholy – It's not fair that your love ends, without at least trying to talk about it before.

- And… – Megan hesitated for a second, before continuing – Do you think that also applies to you and Logan? she asked softly, making Missy flinch anyway.

- I don't know… – she sniffed, trying to blink away the tears that threatened to build up – At the same time that a part of me feels that he did something as bad as Liam, first being part of that horrible night and then lying to me during All this time... The other part of me, the bigger, hurting part... Still loves him. - Missy admitted, with a shattered sigh - And will love him forever. That's why I don't want to see him now. All these emotions are still jumbled up inside of me and I still don't know if I'm able to forgive him... - She shrank even more, making Rey whimper at her side, seeming to want to console her - Not after everything that happened. I passed, because of that night.

But would she be able to live without him?

Since she herself didn't know the answer to that question, Missy saw fit not to ask Megan, either.

- I think you're right about me talking to Devon. – Megan finally sighed – As much as I am angry… I would also be loyal to you, if we were in the opposite situation. I want him to explain to me exactly how we ended up in this situation and… Damn, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I don't want to start the New Year apart from my husband. she growled in frustration, surprising Missy.

She had barely realized that the new year would be that very night.

And unlike Megan, she would be separated from the man she loved.

- Go ahead. – Missy tried to disguise her reaction by swallowing hard – I promise I'll call you if I need anything.

- Are you sure? Megan asked, worried, although her body language clearly showed how much she was at the limit of her willpower not to go to Devon.

- Just go, sis. – She gave a tremulous smile, before adding, with a crestfallen murmur – It will be good for me to be alone for a while and… to think.

- I understand. – Megan smiled sadly and sympathetically, before getting up from the sofa, approaching to kiss Missy's forehead – Things are getting better, little sister, as they've gotten better before. I promise.

Missy only offered her a rueful smile, before watching her run around the apartment for a few moments before finally taking off at a run, towards where her heart was. Now allowing her emotions to show, Missy remained dejected on the couch, but still finished the chicken soup, knowing Megan was right about feeding her. Not taking care of her health at that moment meant putting her baby at risk, which was something she would never do. No when that precious little life was the only thing that was giving her strength and hope at that moment, preventing her from sinking into an even more painful depression than the one she had had months ago. Before, her heart was hurt on account of the destruction of her self-esteem. Now, he was broken, torn, destroyed in a way she doubted could ever be mended.

Her heart was shattered and she doubted she'd be able to search and pick up every tiny piece of ground until she could rebuild it again.

But she would strive not to let that pain cripple her, as it had before. She had an established name in the technology market now. Thanks to her hard work, she had raised enough money to ensure that her baby would never lack for anything. And, more than anything, she was sure that she would never be like her own mother. From within her womb, and until the last day of her life, Missy would make sure that her son always knew how much she loved him more than anything else in the world, and that she would always be there for him, supporting him. and being proud of him, regardless of the choices he made or the person he became. Just as Jonathan had done for her.

So even if it hurt, even if she had to cry in secret whenever someone wasn't looking and even if she woke up every night crying out for Logan, looking for him in her bed... She would build a new life for herself and for your son or daughter.

A life in which Logan would be a very small part.

Why did it have to be so hard to get him out of your heart? With Liam it had been so easy: he had hurt her, demonstrated that he never loved her and the feeling she had for him had died as quickly as a candle going out. Or maybe that was the main issue: she had never really loved him. But she loved Logan Knight. As she had never loved anyone else.

And killing him in her heart would be the opposite of easy. In fact, being honest with herself, it would be impossible.

Where did that leave her then? Eternally in love with a man who had been responsible for the worst and best moments of her life? A man who was the father of her child and who she would be forced to live with forever, knowing that she loved him and missed him every day, but also knowing that he was capable of lying and deceiving her just to get it. what he wanted?

Which of these antagonistic things was worth more anyway?

- Missy?

The sound of his voice, so low and brittle, took her so by surprise that she nearly dropped the empty bowl in her hand onto the floor. In shock, she looked around anxiously, suddenly wondering if the longing she felt for him was driving her crazy...

- Missy? – the call sounded again, and, now more panicked than ever, she realized it was coming from the other side of the apartment door, making her realize that maybe it was better to be crazy.

She didn't want to have to face him right now. She still didn't know what to do or if she would ever be able to forgive him, but if there was one thing she was absolutely sure of, it was just one look at him, and she would throw herself into his arms without a second thought. . Heavens, just hearing her voice was tempting and suffering tremendously, making her want to open the door and burst into tears all at the same time.