Chapter 41: Chapter 41

Aviena's POV

"Big Sister, I bought you a lasagna," Marieta said when she approached me. She was just about to open the lasagna when I ran to the bathroom.

The smell of it seemed to make my stomach turn upside down immediately.

I was back in my seat when I saw Marieta staring at me. I was surprised to see her there.

"We've been together for a few days and you're always vomiting, Big Sister," she said to me. We're here on a private island owned by River's family. I enjoy the water and the sea right now. I don't really know why. I feel like I have always wanted to relax on the beach these past few weeks. River can't come with me because he's already finishing a lot. He follows me when he has time but sometimes he's just too busy. It's good that my project has been reduced to some extent.

“It’s nothing. I just ate too much last night,” I said so she stared at me.

“Why don’t you go to the hospital. Check yourself, Big Sister. Maybe you're sick or something,” Marieta told me. I just laughed before I messed up her hair.

That's my plan when we go home to Manila. I would like to do that too. My guts are telling me to do that. I hope my suspicions will be corrected. But I don't know if it's true. I feel like I'm not alone now. I think I'm ready to be a mom too. I didn't want to tell River as of now, especially since it might not be true. I want to be sure first before telling him. I just don't want to disappoint him in case it will be a piece of false information.

"Where's Ruby?" I asked Marieta.

“She said she’s going for a walk. Maybe she's on the beach, Big Sister,” Marieta said so I nodded. I'm with Marieta and Ruby now. After their graduation, I treated them. They are the only ones with me right now.

I also went to be wearing my bikini and my eyeglasses.

"Take a picture of me, Marieta," I said so she nodded. She took a photo of me. My forehead frowned when I saw fats in all my shots. I can't help but feel annoyed.

"I look fat there." I said.

“You look more blooming these past few weeks, Big Sister. Maybe you're really—” I didn't let her finish what she was going to say because I might have hoped for that. I just blushed before looking at some photos from my phone. I have a feeling right now but I just don't really want to hope so I won't be disappointed too.

We were talking with each other while walking on the seashore when we saw Ruby also taking a walk. We called her but she did not seem to hear. Marieta and I both looked at each other when we saw Ruby slowly walking in the direction of the sea. At first, we thought she just wanted to go for a walk there but when we realized that that's not what she wanted to do, Marieta and I quickly approached her.

“Ruby! What are you doing?!" I shouted loudly at her. She is not on her own. She was just looking at the end of the sea. We immediately pulled her all the way to the beach.

She was just staring for a long time while still looking there but Marieta suddenly called her. She also touched Ruby's arm which is why Ruby looked at the two of us. Ruby slowly came back to herself but tears slowly dripped from her eyes.

"What are you thinking, Ruby?" I asked her. She couldn't stop herself from crying.

"I want to disappear, Big Sister… It's like I'm going crazy… I thought I was okay…" she said while crying.

"But it's not that easy to fix someone's trauma… I thought I was fine now… But, Big Sister… I just thought I was …" I saw the tears from Ruby's eyes as she said that.

"Big Sister… I was pregnant… I was pregnant that time…" My lips felt open as I looked at her. I didn’t realize I was crying before hugging her tightly. She also just cried while in my arms. Marieta looked so shocked while looking at her too. Gradually, Marieta sat down because of that.

“I already have a child in my belly, Big Sister… I'm pregnant…. If I just knew… Maybe it was already my karma… When Papa was abusing you, I didn’t say anything. I remained silent. ” I shook my head there. She was also a child at that time. After all, he shouldn't have seen such a thing in those days.

“Every night, I kept on thinking about my child… Every night I still have nightmares that I can no longer protect my child, Big Sister… I wish I still have a chance to go back to that time… Big Sister… I hope I was able to protect the child… ” She just sobbed and cried. So am I. I can’t avoid being guilty from me. I have a chance to do that too but I didn’t either.

“I want to disappear, Big Sister… I want to follow my son… Big Sister… I haven't even experienced being a mother to him… I only have one thing to do… That's to protect him but I didn't fulfill that promise I have for him… ” She just kept crying while in my arms. She's also a child. I don't know how she's bearing all of that with the little body she has. I couldn’t help feeling sad for her.

She had been crying all afternoon for Marieta and me. Only then did he fall asleep at night. Too tired to cry. I couldn’t help but keep an eye on her. I didn't know that she was already bearing a child. I can't help but feel sad for her. She's already bearing a heavy burden in that small shoulder she has.

“Do we need to let Auntie know, Big Sister?” Marieta asked me. I looked at him because of that. My eyes returned to Ruby as well. I also don’t know what to do. I think this is the reason why Auntie doesn't want to let Ruby come with us. I know she'll just be more worried about her daughter. But I know I should let her know too.

"Look after Ruby first, I'll call Auntie." Marieta nodded at me so I went out of the room to call Auntie.

When I called, before I could speak she spoke immediately.

“Hey, go home, Aviena. Your sister is in your penthouse. Gilbert complains about this, your Big Sister almost never came home and is really staying in your penthouse,” Auntie Madeth said who took Auntie Puschia's cellphone. I furrowed my forehead there. Auntie Madeth always calls me telling me about this. I just don't pay attention because maybe Big Sister is really getting too comfortable in the penthouse. River also often stays overnight at work so I just let her go this past few weeks.

River was always calling me too. When he knows Big Sister is in the penthouse, he'll stay in his mansion. He never made me doubt him so I'm not really worried.

“Let it go, Auntie. Maybe he was just comfortable in the penthouse. Is Auntie Puschia there? I would like to talk to her,” I said so I immediately heard Auntie's sigh.

“Hey, I don't know your auntie. She's too crazy,” Auntie Puschia complained to me when she gets her phone to Auntie Madeth.

I couldn't help but laugh there. I also know that Auntie Madeth just really worried for me. Her husband cheated on her so I knew she just didn’t really want what happened to her to happen to me. But that thing will be impossible. River won't even look at someone else the way he looks at me.

I know I'm the only one he wants.

I just smiled at my self-confidence.

I already told Auntie Puschia about what happened so she to go home immediately. I also plan to take Ruby home because the hospital is also far from here. The child may be under a lot of stress. I don't want what happened before to happen again.

She just keeps on crying even when she woke up the next morning. She just keeps on thinking about what happened to her baby. Only then did she calm down after taking some pills.

I also really realize that it’s not that easy to overtake trauma. Even if you go through therapy, you will still carry the weight on your chest for the rest of your life.

I can't help but look at my belly. I already want to go home. If there really is, I swear that I'll protect my child. That I'll give my child everything.

“I'm sorry for ruining your vacation, Big Sister…” Ruby look compose now but I can still see her shaking.

“No. You didn't ruin it at all, Ruby. It's fine. You need to heal. It will take more time but you'll get there,” I said, stroking her hair. She just smiled slowly at me before looking in front.

Marieta was just looking at us both. There was a trace of concern on her face for the two of us.

"You should also get checked, Big Sister," she said to me so I nodded. That's what I'm planning to do.

I drop them at home first because Ruby also didn't want to go to the hospital. She said that she's already fine. I didn't force it either because Auntie also said that her panic attack only gets worse when she goes to the hospital.

"Are you going home now?" River asked from the other line.

"Hmm, I'll just go somewhere for a while," I said, unable to stop the smile because I felt like I was already resting by his voice. I love his voice. I really love everything about him these days.

“Where are you going? I miss you, I want to see you already,” he told me so I couldn't help but smile.

“I miss you too. Let's just see each other at home later,” I said with a smile while looking at him.

"Damn, I just want a vacation with you, Wife." It was as if I was being pulled by the softness of his voice.

"Is vacation really what you want?" He laughed at my question so I just shook my head.

“What? I love to do that too but I love being with you even more,” he said so I smiled even more.

“See you later, Mister! I got to go now. Go to your work now, ” I said with a smile before saying goodbye to him.

When I got to the Obgyn clinic, I couldn’t stop my heart from pounding. My heartbeat like some racing horse who wants to win. I can't help but feel excited and at the same time nervous.

Dra. Sanchez ask me some questions.

“When was the last time you got your period, Ms. Savellano?” she asked me.

"May 7. I think it's been almost 2 months now," I said so she nodded.

“Are you sexually active?” I slowly nodded there.

“Do you use condoms or birth control?” I shuddered because we were really using it in the beginning but now we don't.

Dra. Sanchez and after so many procedures, she came back to talk to me. She was already smiling at me when she look at me. I couldn’t stop my heart from pounding because of the way she smiled.

“Congratulations, Ms. Vena, you're 7 weeks pregnant,” she said before handing me a piece of paper.

I was too stunned to speak. Wow. It's really going to happen now. I'm finally going to be a mom.