Chapter 81: Chapter 81

She was tired of the push and pull. She was tired of playing the double life. It was not her.

The life she was living was not hers. She detested lying to everyone about her relationship with Thomas. She hated that their pasts were connected in such a twisted way.

Life was so unpredictable. If she had not lost her job, she would have never agreed to such ridiculous terms. Neither she was happy nor was Thomas.

When they got closer after separating for a while, she thought that everything would be all right now. She thought that maybe for once, she would have the life she desired to live with Thomas. Although it was a contract marriage, she could not deny having intense feelings for him.

It was true. She never imagined herself wanting to live with a man, craving his touch, desiring his presence so much as she wanted with Thomas. He was the first and only man she had opened up so much. She had opened her heart to him unknowingly. Now, it was hurting her like hell. She was sure he was hurting as well.

She remembered the look of pure betrayal that was portrayed in his eyes the other night when she told him that she was Robert’s daughter. And then, he left like he always did. She was not a fan of confrontations, but at that moment, she hoped he would say something. He did not. He left instead.

It had been three days since the event took place between them. She did not hear from him. She left a text or two asking if he was alright, but she got no response. She even asked Mark if he knew where he was. This time, it was a wonder that even Mark did not know about his whereabouts. It may have been due to the reason that Mark was out of the country. Sana was with him. They both had decided to move forward with each other after fighting their feelings for so long. She was truly happy for her best friend. She deserved to be happy.

She sighed as she was truly tired of waiting around for Thomas’s return. She was there sitting anxiously waiting for him to return, but she knew that he would not.

She decided to take herself on a date. Sana was not there to help her get her mind off the situation, so she had to do that herself. As an introvert, it was not easy to go out alone, but her physical and mental health had been taking a toll. She could not sit around anxiously. She had to take a deep breath in the fresh air outside. She had not seen the sun in three days.

She took a shower and got dressed in a pair of jeans. She complemented the jeans with a white knitted sweater. She wore light makeup and braided her hair giving a casual look. Wearing her comforts, she was good to go. She did not want to appear elegant like her grandpa wanted her to. She wanted to dress like what she wanted.

She grabbed her phone and wallet and left the house. Grandpa was not there to lecture her for which she was glad. She did not want to argue with anyone.

That wish soon proved to be futile as the driver stopped her. She sighed.

“I want to walk. I will return within a few.” She said tiredly.

“No ma’am. You don’t get it. Mr. Walker had instructed not to let you out alone. Let me take you wherever you wish to go.” He tried to convince her as if she would listen. She did not know which “Mr. Walker” had given those instructions, but she did not care.

“I am going out alone. Tell your Mr. Walker that I am not some kid who needs someone to be with her 24/7. I have a life of my own.” She rolled her eyes and left without a second glance. She could feel someone following her. She was angry, but she did not want to do anything. She had decided to be peaceful for that day.

She took a deep breath. It felt amazing to be out for once.

She did not have a particular destination in mind as she walked for at least 20 minutes. It was so calm that she did not want to stop and keep walking. She knew she had to though. She did not have breakfast that day. Now, she was famished as it was already around noon.

She went to a café that looked so cozy. It was painted in white and cream colors with many indoor plants…just like how she liked.

“One cappuccino with a lotus cake please.” She ordered and sat at a far-end table.

She was so glad that she decided to take herself on a date. She was feeling so peaceful. It was amazing that her internal chaos could not overwhelm her external calmness at that moment. She was indeed feeling peaceful.

Sometimes, when she was at the mansion, she felt like she could not breathe. She felt suffocated. Thomas’s presence did calm her nerves, but the irony was that he was hardly there. He loved to ghost which she hated so much. She wanted things to be clear between them. Even if he did not want anything to do with her, he had to make it clear instead of ghosting her and torturing her like that.

Just the thought of him letting her go hurt. She could not understand why as that was given since the very beginning. It was just a contract marriage and nothing else. They had to separate tomorrow if not today. Maybe she was being delusional, but she wanted the remaining time to be less toxic between the both of them. She wanted to cherish every moment between them.

She grabbed her phone and typed a message to Thomas. She knew that she was on a date with herself, and she had promised herself not to think or do anything else besides giving herself time. However, she was worried about him.

She knew deep down that he would not reply, so she put her phone down. Her order was ready so she went to grab the tray and enjoyed her coffee.

It was the most wonderful brunch she ever had. Although it was not much, she truly enjoyed the taste. It was not so hard after all to go on a date alone.

After being done, she paid and left. Having no destination in mind once again, she started walking. The weather was quite pleasant that day. It was neither hot nor cold which made the walk even more enjoyable.

She walked for some time until she felt her feet being sore. She must have walked a lot.

She went to the nearby park to breathe. Yes, breathe…that was what she wanted the most. She had so much on her plate that breathing felt like a burden. It truly did.

She had visited her mom the previous day. Thankfully, she was doing okay now. She wanted to visit her every day she could, but she knew the grandpa would not like it. It was beyond her understanding how one can be that old school despite being such a successful businessman.

She did not want to comply, but she had to. Anyways, her mom asked her about Thomas, and she lied that she was happy and that he took care of her, etc. etc.

Her mind was quite distracted when she heard her phone ding. She picked it up and saw Thomas’s name flash on the screen. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw that she had received a text from him.

He had never texted her, especially in the past three days. He had completely ghosted her.

And now she was receiving a text.

Her hands were shivering a little as she opened the text. She had sent a text asking where he was and how he was doing.

She was happy that he had sent a text and also a little anxious.

She felt her heart in her throat as she read his text. She wished she had not sent the text. She wished he had not replied.

“There is no chance for this contracted marriage to go on. I have decided to free you and myself. You don’t love me, and I don’t love you. It is the best to end it here.”

Such a devastating reply!

She expected the worst, but the worst was still not what she thought would be. The end had come which she had feared. Her breathing quickened as she tried to breathe. Her heart had picked up pace. Her phone fell on her lap because her hand felt weak.

“I guess that is how it is.” She thought with a bitter smile as tears fell down her eyes.

“You don’t love me, and I don’t love you.”

Just how easy it is for him to say something like that so casually. He never had any feelings for him, yet he was being so sure of her feelings.

“I hate you!” She wept as she dropped her face on her hands. Her shoulders shook as she wept like she was not in public like she had not decided to be loving toward herself for once like she had not wished that day she would not let anyone disturb her peace.

She must have wished for a lot.