Chapter 39: Chapter 39

As much as possible, I tried to work in silence. And to make sure of that, I never let myself stay in the same room as Enver.

And whenever there are jobs that need to work outside the office, I immediately volunteered to do that just to get away from him.

Yes, I won’t deny it. I am happy to be with him again. It is nice to see and be with him again after five years.

But whenever I stared at him, I suddenly remembered everything that happened before. The cheating. The lies. Those times when he went home late and drunk.

It was too painful for me to keep remembering those times.

So, for the sake of our job, I decided to distance myself from him.

“You are avoiding him.”

I almost fell from the chair when Ferry and Castiel suddenly appeared in front of me. “W-what the hell?” I roamed my eyes around and saw Dashiel at the counter. “He called you?” I turned my eyes back at them.

Since I don’t really have anything to do at the office, I told Enver that I would take a half-day from work today and go home early. And on my way to the terminal, I saw this restaurant and felt hungry so I decided to eat first.

Well, this restaurant is owned by Dashiel so I should have expected that he would see me here.

They sat in the vacant seat in front of me.

“Yes, he called us,” Castiel said. “Together with a video clip where he was talking to you but you didn’t even notice him.”

“What?”

“Right after you ordered, he tried to talk to you but it seems like your mind is somewhere else,” Ferry added. “So, why are you avoiding Enver? I thought you could work with him professionally?”

“Avoiding him is the best solution for us to keep working together,” I said. “I just need to wait for three weeks more. And after that, I will immediately leave Raiden and I swear, I will never show myself to him again.”

They frowned.

“I thought you were not going to hide anymore?” Castiel took one of my cakes and started eating it. “You said it yourself. There is no reason for you to hide anymore.”

I sighed. “Yeah, I said that. But I need more time so I can move on from these feelings,” I said. “Then, if I finally get rid of my feelings for him, I can introduce Millie to him.”

“You know that it is not going to be easy, right?” Castiel said as she finished one of my cakes. “You have been away from him for five years but your feelings are still there. What makes you think that another five years will help you get rid of that?”

Ferry nodded. “Don’t you even think of that?”

I messed up my hair and sighed. “I don’t know. I just want to be free from this hate and pain. I don’t want to look at him and keep remembering all the things that he did to me. I am tired of questioning myself about what went wrong with our marriage.” I clenched my teeth as memories kept rushing in my head. “I am tired of blaming myself.”

I tried. For the past five years, I tried to forget what happened. I tried to accept that maybe we are not meant for each other. I tried to forgive him without knowing the reason why he cheated on me.

I really tried. But I still can’t forget everything, especially when I think that because of what he did, Millie is growing up with a broken family.

“Let’s stop this drama for a while,” Ferry immediately grabbed my hand and pulled me up. “Tell Millie and Mikea that you will be home late tonight. We are going to a bar.”

“W-what?” I tried to resist her hand but Castiel took my other arm and both of them pulled me toward the exit of the restaurant. “Shit! Wait!”

“Don’t be a killjoy, Milan,” Castiel said. “You have been away for five years and this is the first time that we will hang out together since you got back.”

Dashiel sees what the two are doing and instead of stopping them, he just gives them a thumbs up, as if he is their accomplice to what they are planning right now.

And since I don’t really want to go to a bar, I kept resisting even though we were already in front of Ferry’s car. But in the end, I still haven’t won against the two of them.

They managed to put me inside the car and drive it before I could even get out.

“Stop being a child, Milan,” Ferry said as she drove her car. “We will be out until ten pm. I will bring you home before that, okay?”

“Being outside is not the problem, Ferry,” I said. “I don’t want to drink. If I get drunk, I am sure that I will cry again in front of Millie. And I don’t want her to see me in that state again. I don’t want to be like a pathetic mother in front of my child again.”

“Then, don’t go home,” Castiel said. “I will go there and take care of her for you.”

I glared at her.

“Seriously?” She sighed. “You will only be separated from her for just one night.”

“I don’t want that!”

“I won’t force you to drink alcohol, Milan,” Ferry stopped us. “But you must hang out with me and Castiel. We are your friends, right? Have some heart for the both of us.”

I stared at Ferry and sighed. “As if I can escape from the both of you.”

“Don’t worry,” Castiel said. “Like what we said, we will be home before ten pm.”

“Fine.” Well, I don’t really want to be a killjoy. And Ferry is right. We never had a chance to hang out since I was too busy with my work. So I guess, I have to give this time to both of them.

But of course, I will not drink alcohol to avoid getting drunk and crying in front of Millie.

“Is there an open bar at this time?” It is only past one pm. And as far as I know, most of the bars in the city open at five pm since that is when people get out of work.

“I know several bars that open twenty-four/seven,” Ferry said. “So, just sit back and relax.” We took thirty minutes before arriving at our destination. She parked her car in front of the building and we immediately got out.

And there it is. The bar has signs that it is really open twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week.

“Since when did a bar like this built here?” This place is not that far from the dorm that the three of us rented when we were still in college.

“This was just last year,” Ferry answered. “Let’s go.”

We entered the bar and just like the others, we were greeted by loud music and a dim place with neon lights.

And I was amazed to see that there are a lot of customers hanging out here even though it was too early. Most of them are students from our previous college school.

“This is famous to the students from our previous school,” Castiel said. “And most of their customers came here just to see the band that plays here.”

“They have a live band here?” I asked.

She nodded. “A couple of bands, actually. Not famous but they are great.”

Ferry was the one who went to the counter to take our orders while Castiel pulled me toward the second floor.

“Let’s go to the VIP room,” she said. “We went here several times and since it is always packed with people, Ferry decided to take a permanent room for us.”

She opened a room and it is spacious. I think ten people can fit in here. The couch is soft and there is a personal phone that we can use to order what we need so we don’t have to go down to the counter.

It also has a one-way mirror that lets us see the full view of the stage so it is the perfect spot to watch whenever someone is performing at the stage.

“Do you know who owns this bar?” I asked.

Castiel nodded. “Though, except for us, no one really knows that he owns it. He just started to put this building as his drinking place but a lot of people wandered around here so he decided to turn it into a bar.”

“Oh.” I sat on the sofa and looked around.

This place actually feels nice.

Even though the music is loud, the ambiance of the place is warm so people who went here can really relax.

“So, I ordered some beer and one bottle of brandy,” Ferry said as soon as she entered the room. “That was only for me and Castiel. I think it is enough for us until later. Wine and juice for Milan.”

She put one bottle of red wine and a pitcher of juice in front of me. Then, a waiter entered the room and put three buckets of beer and the strongest brandy on our table.

“Are you going to get wasted?” I asked.

“We have a long day, Milan,” Castiel said. “It is just enough for the both of us.”

Ferry sat in front of me while Castiel sat beside me.

I shook my head. “I feel like it is you who has a problem and not me.”

“Don’t pass it on us, Milan,” Ferry said. “We are here to talk about your problem, not us, okay? We have been silent for the past five years. We never ask you anything. We accept what you told us and never forced you to talk.”

“This has to stop,” Castiel firmly said. “We are your best friend so let’s talk about it.”

I sighed. I guess it is time to talk about what is on my mind to them.

Just like what they said, they are my best friend. Oh well, not just best friend. They are my family and they have to know everything that is happening to me.

“Did you already talk about what happened five years ago?” Ferry asked.

“No,” I answered. “I keep avoiding him.”

“Don’t you want to hear his side?” she asked again. “Isn’t that what you need? Hearing his reason why he cheated on you. You said you want to get rid of your feelings for him so you need closure. And maybe, it will help you move on.”

I shook my head. “I am scared.

“Do you think fear will help you with this situation?” Castiel asked. “You will keep hurting yourself if you won’t face your fears. That fear is the reason why Millie couldn’t even meet his father.”

I was stunned to hear that.

“While you are consumed by your fear, Millie was also consumed by her desire to meet her father,” Castiel added. “There are a lot of things happening around Enver and he changed. But you never let yourself see that yet you think that he will take Millie away from you.”

I…”

“Milan, you know that we are always on your side, right?” Ferry said. “And we are only saying things that we know will help you. We are not advising you to go back to Enver again. We just want you to give, not only him but also you a chance.”

“You have been running away from everything, Milan,” Castiel said. “Please stop it and learn to face your fear. Have some courage to confront Enver. Maybe it is the only way that will set you free from being hurt.”

They both held my hands. “For you and Millie.”