Chapter 63: Chapter 63

David’s P.O.V.

I wrapped Helena in my arms as if there would never be tomorrow. It was a kind of hug that could never be swayed by anything—because letting her go would never be an option.

We stayed in this position for quite a long time before I felt her trembling arms around my back. She hugged me in return, as tighter as I hugged her. I loved Helena, and I would have never wanted us to break up. I would never fall in love again if not with Helena.

There were lots of senseless things running through my mind right now, and one of them was how about we just eloped together? I loved her so much, and I couldn’t afford to lose her. Not now, not ever.

“I’m sorry, Helena. You can ask me anything you want. I mean, everything—I’ll do everything… please, just don’t ask for a breakup. I would never want us to be apart. Please, I can’t afford to lose you… so don’t give up on us, hmm? It’s just fine with me, even if we keep our relationship a secret for the rest of our lives. Just stay with me, please. Stay with me,” I kissed her hair while I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Some words were repeated due to my extreme anxiety and intense fear of losing her forever.

“You can do it, C-Cristoff… you should. Because we’re only up to here—our love story will end here. I’m sorry because I won’t be able to fight for you like what you’ve always wanted to do for me—I don’t have the courage to fight for you completely. Let’s just be realistic here, okay? We have to accept the fact that we are not really meant to be… and I’m cutting all our connections here,” Helena said while her eyes were welled with tears.

She slowly removed her arms around me, cupped my face, and kissed my lips. Unlike our previous kisses, this one was killing me. I was abruptly cut to the core because only Helena could wound me so deeply. I dedicated my heart to her, but tonight was traumatizing. Inside and out, I was profusely bleeding.

But I still managed to kiss her back, even if it could mean death for me. At the same time, I closed my eyes to feel the warmth of our kiss—the warmth that I might never feel again. If this would be the last, I wanted her to know how much I would miss her.

It lasted for a few minutes because we wouldn’t want to stop. Our hearts didn’t want to accept this because we were yearning to be together, but why does it feel like we were just puppets being controlled by someone else’s hands?

The moment Helena’s lips parted from mine, I was left with no other choice but to let her. I guessed this would be the last time I could savor her plump lips that I got addicted to for so long. The taste of her lips was still sweet, even though I could taste a few of her tears. It was truly heartbreaking for me. It short-circuits my mind and slowly chokes all the air from my body.

“Always remember that you are the first guy who captured my heart, and I will always be thankful for having you, Cristoff. I love you, but I have to say goodbye!” She gave emphasis on every word as tears continued to stream down her cheeks.

I was still relishing the kiss we shared together, only to realize that she already ran away after saying those tear-jerking words. I looked for her and saw her through the course of the emergency exit. Knowing Helena, she would never give a damn of going anywhere as long as she could stay away from me.

The distorted view slowly came ahead of me—it was a kind of night that was frightening and gloomy—but I still ran after her. I followed and chased after her. I ran as fast as I could, afraid of losing her within my sight. I never expected our prom to turn out this way, but what happened made me not see too much. I wanted to break this distance between the two of us, not to break us apart.

Almost not blinking my eyes and getting used to the profound darkness, I saw that Helena didn’t go to the parking lot and instead—just continued running away from our prom venue. I didn’t know what was running through her mind right now, but she looked like she had nowhere to go.

I didn’t know why Helena was acting that way, and she just kept on making me clueless. I could feel that she was hiding something from me that I couldn’t exactly pinpoint at the moment.

But I only knew one thing. I could understand Helena—only if she would explain why she was doing this to me. She could give me a hint, and I could start analyzing from there. Because after all that we had been through, I guessed I deserved an explanation for everything she would decide if that also concerned me.

When I got a little closer to her, Helena suddenly tripped over her high-heeled stilettos. It didn’t take long before she stumbled. As fast as the speed of light, I was quick enough to catch her body, but I couldn’t help to be out of balance due to the swift impact. It was a good thing that I was able to wrap my arms around her before our bodies fell to the ground.

And just like that, a loud thug was heard as we both fell with our sides on the ground. Although wearing a suit, it didn’t protect me from hurting my arms. While I was tightly supporting Helena’s skin from any abrasion she could get, I was able to protect her head as well as her back. It seemed like a cliché when the heavy rain suddenly fell on us.

Each raindrop was the drop that kissed our skins from the day we started to be officially together. Each one, either now or in the past, was the same because they brought every memory and remembrance, as well as Helena’s comforting love way back. But now, each one was hurting me so much.

Helena stood up quickly and was about to avoid me again when I said, “So now, you’re not just walking out. You are running away from me! You know how much I love you, and you know more than anyone else that I will fight for you. No matter what, I will fight for us. But help me, Helena… I can’t do this all alone. I need you, but I don’t know where to start because you’re not telling me what the problem is, so how could I help you solve everything? You’ve always wanted to keep your promise, correct? Then, why would you leave me?”

It was a good thing that the rain just coincided with my tears. It was the first time I was hurt like this. I just wanted to believe that this hurt would be all worthy of having Helena change her mind. If not, I never knew how to continue living my life after tonight.

I loved Helena so much, and I knew she loved me too—despite the fact that we had this kind of love at a very young age. I wanted the two of us to surpass whatever this test of fate was, but what were her reasons to make all things complicated? Why would she decide to suddenly break up with me, without even clarifying everything?

“You want to know the truth? I’m sorry, Cristoff… but like your fucking ex-girlfriend, I just used you too. I only used you for my own advantage, and I never truly cared about what you would feel in the end. Why would I? I wasn’t capable of loving and caring for other people. There’s no chance I would even stay with you because what we’ve had was just a fake relationship. I’ve loathed every part of it!”

Helena meekly said those words, but it seemed like a bomb had exploded in my whole well-being. It made me hear nothing after. Even though it was raining, I could clearly see Helena’s tears. She was trying her best to look at me straight in the eyes, but I knew that what she said was all lies.

She’s lying, right? She’s definitely lying! But why is she doing this to me? Why is she hurting me?

Then, she scoffed. “You don’t know, don’t you? Well, why would you even know? I was just a very good actress who could make you blind after all. I disguised better than Vanessa. Everything was just a lie, David—from working on our Annual Camp project until we became that so-called high-school sweethearts—it was all just an act! I was never capable of loving someone. And you’ve thought I’d change because I’ve met you? No. It’s just too bad that you’re so naive to know that I’m only using you!” Now, Helena was looking straight at me—hurting me far more than I could have ever imagined.