Chapter 150: Chapter 150

Aana Pov's

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I took a deep breath to calm down and wiped my unwanted tears which were streaming down without my permission.

"It means you know that you're pregnant with my child and you still cheated on me." I sobbed remembering his words. He still thinks that I cheated on him.

When I saw his smile after knowing that Shrine is pregnant, I started wondering how he would have reacted if I would have told him about my pregnancy myself on his birthday. He would have been on cloud nine. I caressed my baby bump.

"You're the only reason why I'm alive, otherwise my world ended at the moment when your father accused me of cheating and rejected me without giving me a chance to explain." I sobbed remembering another horrible week of my life. Everything was perfect until my past brought a storm into my present. After Aaron confessed his love in front of the media to me, we were so happy and used to make love day and night. Everything was perfect until Ryan started forcing me to share with him how Alexander treated me when I was a hostage in his pack. I break the mindlink, Whenever he used to touch this topic. Never let my past get trolled over me but the week before Aaron's birthday, I realised that I'm just running away from my past instead of accepting it. That day I realised it was my myth that I'm recovering but in reality, it was all a temporary distraction.

#Flashback

After making love with Aaron we both decided to take a shower separately. He decided to cook for me. That's why I went after him to take a shower. I thought about wearing his shirt and shorts to tease him in the kitchen. Teasing him has become my favourite thing to do over the past few days.

"He will have a hard time while cooking" I chuckled looking at my mirror image.

"Luna" My smile vanished when Ryan, my beta who is also my psychologist, mindlinked me.

"Say"

"Why you're not coming for your sessions?" He asked. I could feel from his voice that he was pissed because of my absence.

"Because I don't need them anymore. I'm absolutely fine, Ryan" I said and came out of the washroom and went to the dressing table to comb my wet hair.

"You're not, Aana... Aaron is your temporary distraction. The moment you start thinking about the past you will again have a panic attack" I halted upon hearing him.

"You're not recovering but running away from your past like a coward, Aana. You came to know that your past is like a trigger to your panic attacks. That's why you stopped thinking about it but it's not a solution Aana. You hadn't lost your memory. If you think that you can control your mind and will never remember your past again then you're wrong. Leave everything, a simple darkness reminds you of your past." a lone tear escaped from my eyes upon hearing him.

"You're just running away instead of dealing with it. Share your past, if not with me then with Aaron but at least do it. If you keep everything with yourself then your traumas and inner turmoil will again start affecting you. Not only this, you will have severe panic attacks if you keep ignoring your pain like this. Are you getting me, Aana?" I didn't reply to him and wiped my tears.

"I'm happy and totally fine," I told myself and went to the kitchen where Aaron was cooking food, knowing only his presence can calm me. I stood at the door and started staring at my mate who was so engrossed in preparing food for me that he didn't even notice my presence. I entered the kitchen and stood beside him.

"What are you preparing?" I asked, holding my stomach.

"Chicken" I didn't reply and kept staring at him to calm and distract myself from thinking anything related to my past.

"What happened?" He asked when he caught me staring at him. I nod my head negatively.

"Nothing… I'm starving… Can I eat you?" I winked, making him chuckle.

"You are having me for four continuous days... Now have a break, my lady" He said teasingly but this time, I didn't blush instead I teased him back.

"What can I do where you're so irresistible?" she bit her lower lip.

"What has got into you?" he laughed, trying his best to focus on cooking.

"I know you want to fuck me on this kitchen counter," I said seductively and sat on the counter.

"Great...Now you're ignoring me. What do you think I don't know how Alexander's warriors used to torture you physically and mentally. It's just I wanted you to let out everything that happened in the past." I closed the mindlink before he could have uttered anything else which would remind me of my horrible past. any memory of the past was enough to tremble my soul. I hopped down from the counter.

"What happened?" Aaron asked.

"I--I have to drink water" I mumbled and went towards the fridge to compose myself before looking back at him.

"I think Ryan is right, Aana. You're running away from everything rather than accepting it and you shared what Alexander did but you didn't tell me what warriors did?" Alice asked me through mindlink, reminding me how Alexander's warriors tortured me.

"Pearl '' I looked at Aaron's side when he called me loudly.

"Where are you lost? Is everything fine?" He asked after closing the stove.

"I'm fine... What will happen to me?" I laughed and held his hand. "You're with me and that's enough for me. I'm happy… I'm happy from the inside… Nothing is wrong with me." I mumbled. Don't know to whom I'm saying those words to him or myself.

"Pearl… Calm down" he cupped my face and made me look into his eyes.

"Tell me, what happened? Did anyone say something to you?" Tears rolled from my eyes.

"I'm happy and fine... Right, Aaron?" I asked. Ryan and Alice's words put me into a dilemma about my recovery. In the past month, I tried my best to fight my mental trauma but now I started doubting my efforts and recovery process after hearing Ryan.

I came out of my thoughts when I heard the ringtone of my phone. I parted away from Aaron and looked at my phone.

"Ryan"

"He is calling me on my phone because I blocked him," I thought.

"Who is he?"

"It's not an important call" I cut the call and blocked that number.

"I'm going to sleep," I mumbled after wiping sweat from my forehead.

"At this time?"

"Yeah.. feeling tired" I muttered, trying my best to calm myself. He held my hand.

"I told you not to do it" I didn't even realise that I was scratching the back of my hands because of nervousness until he kissed my knuckles. She parted away from me.

"I need to rest"

"What about food?"

"I lost my appetite" I muttered and rushed towards my room before I ended up panicking in front of him. I sat on the bed and drank the water from the glass which was kept on the side table. My phone rang again. I looked at the display and it was from an unknown number. At first, I cut it but then picked it up when it came for the third time.

"If I'm cutting the call then why the fuck you're calling?" I growled, not even letting the other person speak.

"Are you okay, Aana?" I heard Ryan's voice.

"Yeah… I'm absolutely fine… What will happen to me?" I wiped my tears and looked at myself in the front mirror. My face turned red, indicating that I'm on the edge of having a panic attack.

"Leave me but at least don't lie to yourself." He scoffed. I sighed and held the phone tightly before it slipped from my shivering hand.

"What do you want, Ryan? Why do you bring up my past topic again and again?" I whimper.

"Because it's important for you, Aana… You need to let out everything. If you don't want to share anything with me then fine.. share it with Aaron."

"I can't," I mumbled and wiped my tears.

"Why?"

"I just can't... He is possessive for me" I muttered remembering the moment when he tortured that police officer who tried to molest me.

"Every wolf is possessive of their mate."

"You are not understanding, Ryan. I can't imagine what he will do after knowing everything."

"Is it the true reason or you're saying this because you're in doubt that he will reject you after knowing how that bastard touched you?" he clamped up. I clutched the bed sheet in my fist, trying my best not to panic. Somewhere his words reminded me of the moment when Alexander undressed me in front of everyone.

"Is my suspicion correct? would he reject you after knowing everything?" he asked and I could feel his anxiety through his voice. He is worried thinking what would happen if his fear came true.

"Don't worry… He loves me and I'm sure he will never reject me just because someone else touches" I clamped up when I sensed Aaron's presence.

"You're right... He is here only" Alice confirmed my doubt. I stood up from bed and went out of the room.

"I--I will ca--call you back" I stuttered and cut the call with a shivering hand.

"What happened? Why did you cut the call?" I didn't reply to him and came back to the room as I'm not in a proper state of mind to answer anything...

"You didn't answer me, Pearl," I turned my head towards him.

"I'm not obliged to tell you everything, Aaron. you're my mate but I had my personal life as well" I muttered and took out my medicine box from the side drawer and searched the tablet which Ryan gave me to take whenever I felt like I would have a panic attack. I was about to take them when Aaron held my hand.

"What kind of medicine are you taking?" He asked and snatched the tablet from my hand then glared at me after reading the name of the tablet on the package.

"Why the fuck you were taking this tablet?" He growled but I was not in a sense to reply to him. A glimpse of my past started roaming in my mind. I went to the other room and locked myself, not wanting to show him my worst side.

Then what I feared most, happened... I had a severe panic attack and this time it was also affecting Alice and she was using her power to heal me. Thankfully Aaron broke the door and came to me. Don't know how but he again helped me to calm myself. He didn't ask me anything and made me wear my clothes.

"Alice" I mindlink her.

"This time your panic attack was severe. It even drains my energy" I scrunched my eyebrow. "if I wouldn't have been with you then you would have a cardiac arrest, Aana" My eyes widened upon hearing him. I looked at Aaron who was drying my hair. I don't care about myself but him. how he will handle himself if something happens to me. He cupped my face and kissed my forehead before kneeling in front of me.

"Would you like to share something?" he asked. the moment my eyes met his, unwanted tears started falling from my eyes.

"My psychologist told me that I'm having a temporary recovery" he scrunched his eyebrow not getting anything.

"In simple words, I'm not healed but distracted. According to him, I can't recover until I face my past and start sharing what happened" I clamped up. He immediately held my both hands in his hand and kissed my knuckles.

"I'm fine," I mumbled after feeling how worried he is for me through mate bond.

"What else did he say?"

"I will have this panic attack until I accept whatever happens and let it out"

"So"

"I can't," I whimper.

"I can't share anything with anyone. Even I shared a half-truth with Alice because remembering those things trembled my soul" I lay on the bed when he didn't say anything and closed my eyes feeling exhausted. Tears were continuously streaming down my eyes.

"I don't think we will work out like this," I muttered. If it keeps going like this then I would never be able to live a normal life with Aaron.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He is right, you're my temporary distraction. I have to stay away from you until I move on from my past. I decided, before holding your hand, I have to break my tie with" I clamped up feeling weak to speak more. I thought to complete my conversation with him after gaining some energy but before that only darkness consumed me.