Chapter 70: Chapter 70

Her beige colored attire was placed beside her as she was now in her everyday clothes. The night has sprawled in the sky. Her wet hair indicated the shower she had just taken.

That shower was an essential to relax her strained muscles after another hectic day of walima  ceremony. The walima was held after a one day gap.

There were still some guests in the haveli who accompanied them to the haveli from the wedding hall. They included some of her husband's friends along with family's confidants and some relatives.

All day a nervousness had again kept her occupied. But after coming from the ceremony, it transformed into an immense fear. Her heart had been beating out of its rhythm since then.

During the whole ceremony, she tried to maintain a distance from Shehryaar especially after what happened that night. Not being able to fulfil her duty towards him had created a subtle sense of panic inside her, which was slowly raising within her system. She was trying to ignore that panic, suppress that alarm but the more she suppressed, the more it grew. The voice in her head, which had become so active since she had been out from the cell, told her that the moment Shehryaar addressed her behaviour, she would be done. He had not yet exactly taken any action regarding it nor punished her neither questioned her about what she did last night. And her mind was already preparing answers for it.

All that she could think of her reaction was that, it occured spontaneously. She was ready to fulfil her wifely duties and keep aside the fear but the intimate moments they shared in the car, after that her mind had been continuously recalling the night she spent in his office. As if a switch has been turned on. And she was locked in those events, in that night when he was approaching her.

And after that she had been trying to create a space between them as subtly as she could to reduce an unwell feeling which would choke her throat with fear whenever he would be near her. Just like today, in the ceremony, when they both were sitting together, she created a little space between them by slightly sliding away from him, implicating that she was fixing her dress. And the other time, he held her hand casually while he was on his phone talking to someone as they walked around the back yard of the place which was also lit up and was crowded with guests as well. She instantly began to cough and looked at the table where there was bottle of water, pointed at it while coughing before releasing her hand from his grip and walked away. With her peripheral vision, she was staring at him and did not go back to him until he himself approached her. His eyes as soon as connected with her got intense and she instantly looked towards the ground, tilting her head down. Praying internally that someone would show up and he won't get the chance to get close to her.

And her prayers were answered but in such a way that had her eyes bulged out of her sockets.

Someone showed up.

Someone she least expected to show up.

"Assalam alaikum," he had greeted to Shehryaar, forwarding his hand which he shook.

"Meet my wife," Shehryaar had said and when her grey eyes connected with his blue ones, the ground began to slowly slip beneath her feet.

"My new business partner, Mr. Wali Khan," This was his introduction.

"Not partner yet Mr. Shehryaar, just an associate," the man said slightly laughing to himself and drifted his attention towards Sheharzaad.

Her face had paled but she tried her best to suppress those colors.

"Nice to meet you," he said to her and as if her tongue had tied, she just nodded her head out of acknowledgement. She excused herself, claiming she had not been feeling well and walked away.

After that, she just had one single eye contact with him and he just subtly nodded his head to her as if conveying something.

Was she still in the mission?

In the mission of sabotaging Shehryaar.

Who was.... now her husband.

'Never tell about the meeting you had with me to Shehryaar. Ever,'

Her mind recalled the one note he had sent to her in the cell. And she skipped him out of all the truth that she had uttered to Shehryaar when he investigated about the whole story. Before her mental abuse had began, she deliberately skipped Hannan out of it while keeping Wali out of the story. Yet after her mental state had been crumbled, she told him all the truth on her own, even included the meetings she had with Hannan in her statement but still she kept Wali out of it.

Upon reaching home, she told everyone that she was tired and went to her room while the family was busy dealing with the guests.

Her eyes were so focused, looking at the bedsheet while her brain was immersed in the thoughts and questions arising in her mind. Her brows furrowed, lips forming a line and lashes not blinking. Her brain, which was hyperactive and nested in a figuring out phase heard someone heading towards the room.

She thought it was Shehryaar so instantly, she laid down on the bed and pretended as if she had slept.

The door to her room opened as her eyes followed the movements of the steps. Someone came and stood infront her.

"Madam,"

She internally took a breath of relief.

It was a maid.

She didn't respond and continued the act of sleeping.

The maid tried to wake her up once more but she didn't and then left. As soon as the door was closed, her emerald grey eyes opened and stared at the window, quietly. Through the window, the moon stared back at her and the stars glimmered around it. While counting the stars, she didn't realize the sleeping pills she had taken began to take a control over her system and she she slept.

She had taken those pills purposely to avoid Shehryaar. Because she knew she would act differently around Shehryaar after meeting Wali and he knew her like the back of his hand. He would guess that something was off about her. And if he got to the root of that, then God knows what he would do this time with her. Also, one reason which she was trying to suppress within her due to which she had been avoiding Shehryaar was to avoid any sort of intimacy between them

Because whenever he would get close, that one night stand would hit her in her mind. And she was worried that if it instigated an irrational response out of her around him, then he might get angry. And she was so scared of it.

She didn't want him to realize that she had been trying to avoid him.

.....

She had been awake since past thirty minutes but she knew he was there, awake and working on his laptop. She was waiting for him to leave because only then she will get up. Again the reason was same.

The utter anxiety she would feel around him. Especially while being subjected to his eyes which were always so intense and focused on her. As if he had been measuring each and every action of her. Specks of lust would be visible in those orbs which was the most nerve-wracking thing.

She felt he did not exactly get the chance to unleash himself on her. Because the first chance he would get, he would strip her and lead her to the bed taking her in the same way as he did in the car. And she had been trying her best to avoid giving that opportunity to him.

Her senses went on high alert as she felt him closing the lid of his laptop, placing it aside before getting up from the bed. It only meant that he was going to the restroom for taking shower and leaving for his office. This thought brought her a sense of joy.

Her ears caught the sound of his foot steps receding as he headed towards the washroom. It was making her release her breath shortly which was struck in her throat. Then she heard the sound of the restroom's door opening and shutting close only then she opened her eyes and sighed out.

She could feel the noose around her neck slightly loosening. Her reaction was making her wonder that how would she spend the rest of her life with him. She really wanted to stop herself rom reacting this way. All time, worried, depressed and anxious of upsetting him. She so wanted to live and breathe freely.

Smile.

Laugh.

Talk.

But all she had now was apprehension.

What her life has become?

It grieved her.

It often pushed out all those memories that she had locked in back of her mind with her parents. She would often miss them especially her mother. Because practically there was no one with whom she could talk about what she had been feeling.

There was Amna but she thought Shehryaar has not allowed her to contact with her.

And now all she had was her husband.

But she somewhere within her knew that she would not ever easily open up to him about her heart. Rather never. Because he was the root of her circumstances. In her heart, there was this depressed thought which she had buried deep within that she would never forgive him for what he did to her. Yet she would never let that thought out.

The whole situation just left her helpless and hopeless and if death was to come the next moment, she would accept it with a open heart.

Her heart beats fumbled as the door opened again and he entered. Immediately, she closed her eyes again pretending to sleep. She laid motionless pulling up best of her acts. Her eyes were closed gently and to give more substance to her act, she slightly hung open her mouth. Her ears detected the voice of his footsteps approaching her.

She felt him squatting down infront her and felt his eyes on her. She was now directly facing her but the only barrier between them was her closed eye lids.

His thumb moved and traced the features of her face. Her brows, her eyes, nose and reached her lips. As he caressed the pad of his thumb against her lips yet she stayed motionless as he traced his thumb down to her throat reaching the dip of her neck where her shoulders meet. up.

"You look pretty, Zaad," he muttered more to himself as he closed in on her.

Her heartbeat spiked

"More so," he said as his face paralleled with hers as his hand moved from her throat to the back of her neck, "when you're pretending to sleep," and as soon as his words left his mouth, he had his lips over her which made her open her eyes as he pulled her up with his hand at her neck, placed his knee on the bed and sucked the breath out of her lungs. To support herself, she placed both her hands on the mattress while her wavy tresses were sprawled open as he continued to kiss her.

Sheharzaad felt intimidated and more anxious since he was shirtless and his bare chest made him appear more daunting. Her stomach knotted out of fear as she began to take deep heavy breaths. Her mind drowning back in the memories of the night when her virginity was stolen.

Tear formed in her left eye as tiny sobs accumulating in her throat but she could not dare pushing him back. She suddenly was feeling claustrophobic, anxious and nostalgic.

Her heart was beating in the same rhythm as it has beaten that night. And when she would think of pulling him away instantly her mind would click in the memories of her days in the cell. Her mental state wasn't in her control. Her steel like nerves had become so weak that now she was not able to have an upper hand on her mind.

Once eating his lips to his desire, he stopped before giving a last peck on her lips and joined his forehead with hers, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Sheharzaad," he uttered remaining in the same position.

"Jee Sheh-sherry," she managed to say.

(Yes Sherry?)

At this he opened his eyes, pulled away from her and probed his eyes in her. His eyes slightly narrowed and her hands that were on the bed rolled into fists. His stare was getting intense which was making her colder with every passing second and instead of matching his stare she looked down. Her chest heaving up and down.

She kept on staring down and when she flashed her eyes up, his eyes were still on her.

"Little lady," he atlast uttered, "tell me something you recently did,"

Her eyes got enlarged.

"That may upset me," She jolted in her place visibly and her first reaction was to move away from him.

She shook her head forming tight fists of her hands.

"Nothing," she managed to whisper, "nothing," she said again while shaking her head left and right.

"Nothing," he repeated in a whispery voice, "Alright," saying he moved forward and pecked on her lips, yet he didn't pull back but fixed his lips net to her ears while caressing her hair, "I so want to feel you, Sheharzaad," he whispered hotly in her ears and she gulped.

"Woh... woh mei," she suddenly pushed back, thinking things would escalate, looking left and right, "woh... mei ja rhi thi...jaoun?"  She did not wait for him to respond rather, neither matched his gaze but quickly got up from the bed and rushed towards the washroom. Her heart beating a mile a minute.

(I was actually going. Shall I go?)

She took more than thirty minutes in the restroom, killing time because she wanted him to go. She thought if she came out and he would be there then he might implement his words for which she was not ready. His one kiss made her anxiety levels reach skies, wonder what would happen if he actually did that.

The small round they had in the car was the source of unlocking her trauma and these were the after shocks.

One thing was clear, she wasn't mentally ready for this. And another thing that was clear to her, she was too scared to admit that infront him.

......

He came home in the evening and joined everyone in the dinner. As soon as he entered and sat next to her, she felt a drift in her uneasiness. Her hold on the fork she held increased as she struggled pushing  the bites down her throat as it had gone dry. On purpose, she dragged her meal as one by one everyone left and so did Shehryaar.

Afterwards, she went to her father-in-law, Haider's room and began to talk with him. She went there with the excuse of checking up on his medicines and that's how she sat there along with him and began to talk about her little childhood incidents. And as she had assumed, he too got invested in the talk and shared his experiences as well.

He loved telling stories.

They both were talking when the door to the room was knocked and a maid came in. Greeted Haider first and then shifted her attention towards Sheharzaad.

"Ma'am sir is looking for you,"

As soon as she said that, her heart lurched to her throat. And then she noticed the time.

It was 10 p.m.

Already so late.

Saying that, the maid has left as Haider spoke to Sheharzaad, "Well, I will continue my story tomorrow. He must be looking for you. It is already late," he told.

She gulped.

"C-can I sit here for some more time?" She asked.

Haider frowned, "what happened, daughter?"

"Nothing," she just shook her head, "But can I be here for half an hour more?" Her voice held a plead.

His frown relaxed as he gave her a nod, "Alright. But what is the matter?"

"I just... miss my parents so I wanted.... to be close with someone who is an elderly figure to me and reminds me of them..." She said with sadness in her voice.

"It is fine, daughter. I'm always here. You can come whenever you want,"

"Thank you," she said with sincerity sparkling in her eyes.

"And oh where was I... ah! So I and my friend were in the middle of hunting...." Haider continued his story and for a moment, she felt relaxed.

Half an hour must have elapsed when the door to his room was knocked and Shehryaar entered.

A smile sprawled on Haider's face upon seeing his son.

"Baba," he said and then his grey eyes fell on Sheharzaad, "can I borrow my wife from you?" he asked, forwarding his hand towards her while looking at his father.

Sheharzaad grasped his hand and stood up, beside him.

Haider laughed. "Yes, you may," he said, and then looked at the clock, "and oh half an hour has already passed. Sheharzaad daughter told me that she-" Haider's eyes fell on Sheharzaad whose eyes had gone widened and she subtle shook her head. She knew what he was going to say.

Haider stopped for a second. "She was insisting on leaving earlier but I have her keep sitting here until my story completes. And as promised, it took half an hour," he morphed his sentence.

"Really?" Shehryaar asked, looking at his father and then at Sheharzaad, arching his brow up.

That arched brow had her heart skip a beat.

"Yes," she responded in a whisper.

Her voice was suddenly gone.

"You can take your wife, son. I will sleep now," Haider told, fixing the comforter around himself.

"Thank you, baba," Shehryaar  said and began to lead her out of the room.

But Sheharzaad stopped, turning towards Haider.

"Allah hafiz, uncle," Sheharzaad muttered to Haider.

"Call me abu (father)" he reprimanded.

Sheharzaad smiled, "Allah hafiz, abu," And then she left along with Shehryaar.

They were going upstairs towards their room  when she called him out, "Sherry," She muttered and that made him stop in his tracks.

"Yes, little lady?" he asked, and turned towards her.

"Pyaas lag rhi.... pani pi aaon kitchen sei?"

(I'm thirsty.... can I go drink water from the kitchen?)

"Kamray mei paani hai," he replied.

(There is water in the room)

"Nhi woh... asal mei... sharbat peenay ka dil ker rha hai,"

(No actually.... I want to drink juice)

He stared at her for a few moments. Her heart pounded in her chest and her hand which held the railing of the stairs shivered.

"Alright. Come back in five minutes,"

"Jee,"

(Okay)

He left her hand and she took a few steps back, turning around and then rushed towards the kitchen. Yet he started at her retreating back.

As soon as she entered the kitchen, she immediately found the sleeping pills in the cabinet where she had hidden them. She got them with the help of a maid.

She took one pill, gulped it down her throat and drank water. Her hands were shivering.

She had lied.

Lied to him.

And it was making the soul slowly leave her body.

She was so scared.

She left the kitchen and went to her room. He was laying on the bed with the phone in his hands where he was going through some messages and photos. It wasn't the one he used in daily routine rather it was a black berry.

the notorious black berry.

Noticing her presence, he placed the phone aside and tapped the place next to her, asking her to sit beside him.

With every step she took, her heart fell more and more in the pit of her stomach.

"Umm... actually... c-can I sleep?" she asked as soon as she sat down, "I'm...I'm.... feeling-" her sentence was cut short as he held her wrist and pulled her towards him. Her face lying against his shoulder as she looked up in his eyes and he looked down towards him.

"Avoiding me, little lady?"

"No. No," she instantly shook her head, "I w...was act--ually f...eeling s-l-eepy,"  she stuttered badly.

"Sleep then," he held her face with his hand and poked her lips by pressing at her cheeks and kissed her lips. Placing her head on his chest and covering them both with a comforter, he wrapped his arms around her and began to caress her back.

"Sleep well, little lady," he uttered.

And soon she had slept as the sleeping pill took its action.