Chapter 69: Chapter 69

At the dining table, she found herself poking with her food. Her appetite was low. Just because of the thoughts in her mind. She stared at him with her side eye to know about his mood.

He hasn't addressed her disobedience of last night yet. Also, he was talking to her normally today.

Maybe he won't punish her and he has let it go?

Maybe he would let her go and not put her in the cell again?

Or maybe he was waiting for the right time to punish her....

The last assumption made a bolt of panic hit her. Her mouth hung open as she instantly turned her face towards him.

He looked back at her and notice the fear in her eyes.

He knew, she was overthinking so he fed her the bite on the spoon he was going to take, filling her half-opened mouth.

She became too struck to talk and as she looked around, their gazes were on her and she felt embarrassed. She now was not able to sustain attention on her as she looked down and fondled with her food. If it were her old version, and her husband would have fed her like this she would have kissed him back infront of everyone. She used to be this bold but it was now long last. That part of her was already dead.

"Sheharzaad, daughter, why do you not make breakfast for your husband?" Asma said, gaining her attention.

She looked at her confused, "I.... I didn't know that," her voice wasn't above a whisper and she felt like she did a mistake of not cooking food for him.

"It must come from your heart. Of taking care of your husband. If you truly love a person you take care of them and it's just start of your wedding but you're not fulfilling your duties,"

Sheharzaad looked down.

"You know your mother-in-law never cooked food or took a proper care of her husband. I hope it's not the case with you, daughter,"

Chills rose up on her spine when he saw Shehryaar's hold tightening around the fork.

"You should not fail in your duties like your mother-in-law did. You're already falling behind an-"

"Uncle," Shehryaar said, looking towards Haroon, Asma's husband, "respectfully, ask your wife to keep quiet. I don't want to address directly with her,"

Haroon reprimanded his wife to stop but she didn't.

"But I'm saying the truth... did she ever take care of his father?"

"Ammi stop," Haseeb cut her in.

"But I-"

"Asma, please," Haroon uttered but Shehryaar banged the utensils on the table. Sheharzaad, who sat next to him, flinched so hard. Her heart beat went erratic when he stood up and then looked down towards Sheharzaad. "Go to our room," he ordered and she hurriedly stood up, rushing into the room.

While she was running, she heard the sound of plates clashing against the floor which made her steps fast. She thanked God a thousand times that Shehryaar's anger wasn't directed towards her.

She strolled left and right in her room. The room was far from the dining area so she wasn't able to hear any voices but she was so tensed, biting the knuckles of her fist out of apprehension.

Panic seized her brain almost when she heard footsteps approaching and she was sure it was Shehryaar.

"Oh god!" She said to herself in panic, looking around the room so something could save her.

She staggered towards the bed, cocooned herself in the blanket and acted as if she was sleeping but her whole body was shaking.

She knew, Sheharyaar was coming.

"Oh god! Please save me.... please...please save me," she whispered prayers and she didn't realize when the door opened and the footsteps came closer.

She suddenly became quiet sensing someone's presence but through her mouth, she was releasing shaky breaths. The blanket was took off of from her face and it felt to her, it was the end of the world.

She felt him caressing her hair as he placed his lips on her temple, kissing her before pecking on her earlobe.

"Don't leave this room without my permission," He whispered and involuntarily she nodded. She heard the door shutting as he left.

.....

It was 3 p.m. Nobody entered the room and she didn't dare leaving. The thought never crossed her mind. There was an eerie silence in the haveli and she could feel it without even leaving her room. It was because of what had happened in the morning.

Asma seemed a sweet woman to Sheharzaad yet she couldn't understand what were Asma's reason to let her down that too infront the whole family. Sheharzaad had interacted as less as she could with all the family members because she would now experience extreme social anxiety and for some reason she was thankful to Shehryaar for not letting her out. She didn't want to go either. She spend her time by offering her prayers, strolling, enjoying the cool breeze in the balcony and reading books. Those books were boring. They were all non-fictional. Some historical. Most were about human psychology and criminology. And some related to business as well. So she got bored of those very soon. It wasn't the genre she preferred. She like fictional books, full of romance, where the main lead is head over heels on the female lead. She liked reading love stories. Love stories that have a happy ending.

She wondered what the ending of her love story would look like?

Will she ever be able to find love?

Love.

It now seemed afar notion. Unachievable. All she had for her husband was fear. Just plain, dark, intense and deep fear rooted within her brain. His displeased eyes were now enough to churn her stomach tightly.

Love?

No. There was no love. Rather now she had lost the ability of loving anybody.

Dreaming of a small happy family just remained dreams for her.

The thoughts were depressing her so she turned on the TV. She didn't have her mobile phone. Rather she didn't touch her phone since last four months. Switching through channels, she got bored of TV as well and again her mind began to wander in the valley of her thoughts.

Think.

Think.

And just think.

This has become her hobby now. She lived in her brain much more than she lived in a room. She just used to think when she was in that cell. Waiting for the time when her jail would be over. And in the haveli, she used to think about the marriage while reminiscing her friends and family. And now she was clueless of what to think about.

What more was left in her life?

She was out from the cell.

She got married as well.

The two thoughts that had perturbed her were now accomplished... so now what?

It brought a hole in her heart.

She felt like a useless, aimless person who was clueless about where her life was heading. And she didn't realize when she dozed off.

Her eyes opened and it was already 9pm. There were no signs of his arrival. Her mind was still overcoming the slumber. The sleep marks told her she had slept like no tomorrow.

Again, all she saw was nightmare.

That night and her days in the cell repeating on and on. These dreams were becoming ususal since he had announced their wedding. Before that, she had them rarely but for past few days, she was seeing similar things repetitively. Her anxiety levels were relatively high. And she was stuck in her thoughts often than ever. At times, the knife would look so appealing to her to rub it against her wrist and taste the death.

She shook her head, throwing these thoughts away. Her mind was playing with her.

As she got up, the door to her room opened and Asma came in. She made Sheharzaad sit beside her and held her hand.

"Daughter, I apologize for what I did in morning,"

"It's... it's fine,"

"I was just saying it for your betterment, daughter. I want to see you happy with our son,"

Sheharzaad passed her a nod, indicating she was listening to her.

"You should take care of him. I am actually very scared he might not take you as his mother because his mother was exactly like you," Asma said and at the same time her eyes fell on a shadow near the door. She knew, he has come.

"Me?"

"She never cared for her husband. I've never seen her truly taking care of him. He loved her alot. Just like now, you haven't dressed up for Shehryaar? Why is that? This is the first day of your wedding and you're in these simple clothes. Your husband must be about to come, you should set food and get ready for him. Is that because you haven't accepted this marriage?"

Sheharzaad found her voice getting suddenly lost.

She was supposed to do all this for him?

She was scared now of not fulfilling her duties.

"Your silence tells this. Maybe you don't love him. Jaha Ara never loved Haider either that was why she never willingly look after his needs,"

She was manipulating her and she was being manipulated.

Sheharzaad shook her head, her eyes were horror-filled.

What if Shehryaar began to think too that she wasn't fulfilling her duties towards him?

"Just pray, daughter, he does not find the reflection of his mother in you," She said and got up, opened the slightly opened door already and found Shehryaar standing there.

"I came here to apologize to her, son. I'm really sorry," Asma stated before leaving the room.

Shehryaar came in and she stood up. He shut the door before sitting on the sofa. He was looking tired as he leaned back and momentarily closed his eyes.

Asma's word played with her mind and the last night incident too. He told her he would consummate the marriage again as they would reach home but she didn't let him. Not just this, she didn't make food for him and dolled up. She could now feel the fear of impending punishment.

Why would he let her repetitive mistakes go?

She felt as if she needed to fix this as she stepped closer to him and knelt down to untie his shoe laces, to help remove his shoes. She just wanted to be his good side. By this act, she wanted him to forget and forgive her if she had him upset in any way.

Her hands shivered as she struggled with the laces while she was squatted down on the floor.

His eyes opened and found her near his feet, trying to untie the laces. The next second, he held her arm and landed her on his thighs, making her inhale a sharp breath.

"I'm sorry," she said immediately.

"For what?"

Her chin began to wobble as tears gathered in her eyes.

She was about to cry again.

"For... upsetting you," The tears cascaded down her eyes.

He shook his head to himself. She has been crying on trivial things alot lately. And it was understandable to him. Those three months in the dark well were enough to change her personality entirely. He was aware of the state of her mind. Her face would reflect her thoughts.

She has become an overthinker.

Scared of a minor frown on his forehead.

Shivering by his anger that was not even directed towards her.

Submissive to him. And just him.

He wanted her to be like that. He wanted her to shiver at the thought of disobeying him. He never wanted her to have a mind of her own in which she could make plans to outrun him or betray him. That was why he made her go through the brain conditioning method. Transforming her into a version he desired.

Submissive.

Obedient.

Dutiful.

But he felt like he was missing something. He got what he wanted yet still there was this missing piece of the puzzle. He wasn't able to identify that missing piece. That one more thing he wanted in her.

He went through every length his father couldn't go. He made her like anything but his mother. He stole her charisma, her personality so the thoughts, and the daring personality she had similar to his mother could evaporate from her.

The final product was here. Infront him.

Crying in his arms. Begging for his mercy despite not committing any error. Could be subjected to manipulation easily. Just like now, she got in his aunt's words so easily.

She was never like that.

But he made her like that.

He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her as her head laid on his chest.

He felt at peace.