Chapter 71: Chapter 71

Days passed.

Things were normal for them but not for her.

She carried on with her routine of eating the sleeping pills and sleep before he come home or to be at his father's room so he wouldn't so easily get her.

It was dinner time, and the maid had asked Sheherzaad to come to the dining room. She didn't feel like going.

She felt aloof.

She liked to be reserved and alone.

Depressed.

This was what she just had been failing since past few days.

She felt she had developed a hate with her ownself.

Whenever she would look herself in the mirror, she won't like what she would see. And that would make her cry.

Her hopelessness in herself and in life has been increasing. She couldn't identify the reason but when she looked in the mirror, she didn't like what she see as she used to before.

The other day, she was sitting on the sofa when slowly tears began to flow down her eyes and she began to cry out, "I hate myself,"

She then stood up and stared herself in the mirror and placed her hand on her face, crying.

"I hate myself!" she cried out and soon enough began to sob, falling down on the floor.

Shehryaar came in on the cue and finding her so distressed, he approached her. His hands held her arm as he made her stood up from the floor.

She looked up at him, "I hate myself. I hate myself so much!" She was crying. She circled his hands around her neck as she stood up.

He wrapped her arms around her and hugged her, letting her cry on his shoulder.

To him, she had began to seem like a depression patient now. Sudden outbursts. Frequent nightmares recalling her past. And emotionally numb. All she had was fear.

Last night, when he came at home and came closer to her, she fainted. The next morning she was profusely apologizing while crying to him.

Currently, Sheharzaad was in her room again. Laying and doing nothing. Thinking about what the maids were whispering about her today, calling her psychotic. The lifelessness was evident in her eyes.

She could not understand what has been happening with her. Two days ago, she woke up sweating at night. In her sleep she had been turning sides. Though in her dream she was actually screaming but it only came out as gibberish.

"S.. sir.. let me g-go," She was saying as Shehryaar who was working on his laptop laid beside her.

"N-not th-this," Tears were falling from her eyes. It gained his attention as he placed the laptop aside and gave her his attention.

"Sheharzaad," he called her out.

"I d-don't w-want... w-want this,"

"Sheharzaad," he shook her body again.

"Cell... chains... cell... no... no,"

"Sheharzaad!"

"No!" She screamed and her eyes opened. Her eyes came in contact with him as she instantly cowered away from him. She quickly looked around the room and a relief came over her that it wasn't the cell.

She cleaned her tears with the back of her hand, muttered a 'sorry' to him and went back to sleep.

Those dreams were getting intense. Not just that she would see herself in a place where her virginity was taken or a place where she was kept for months but she her mind would put up what happened in the car on their wedding day as well when she was again sexually approached.

He wasn't as harsh as he had been towards her yet still the paranoia she had around him won't let her be in peace at any cost.

This was what her life has become.

A scared little pigeon.

And that was why she didn't want to join everyone with dinner, especially when she had the opportunity of Shehryaar not being at home.

Sheharzaad politely asked the maid to walk away and inform the others that she wouldn't make it for the dinner since she wasn't feeling well. Even though Shehryaar had ordered her not to skip her meals, her nauseating health prevented her from taking the food. Other than that, she was well aware of the discreet side-eyes she had been receiving from her husband's youngest aunt, and by the looks of it, she knew they were nowhere near positive. Moreover, Shehryaar was out of Islamabad for some work, which was why she was hoping that he wouldn't make a big fuss about it.

Nonetheless, it seemed her luck didn't abide by her wish like always; the bedroom's door suddenly opened with a thud, revealing Sheryaar in his mighty form. Sheherzaad was startled by the intrusion and clutched the shawl over her dress. She stood up after setting the veil properly on her head and looked down, muttering a small Salam, as Shehryaar kept standing by the door, staring at her with scrutiny. She felt extremely agitated under his gaze, and soon her hands started sweating. In the meantime, he ploddingly walked towards her, standing right in front of her timid state.

"Why didn't you go down for the dinner?" He asked, resulting in her looking pale, thinking of the consequences of disobeying his orders.

"I-I am sorry." She slowly whispered, hoping for him to spare that.

"I thought I was asking for an appropriate answer from you, not an apology. Now tell me a good reason for escaping your dinner, or else I know other ways to make you say it." Sheherzaad's breath hitched upon hearing the underlying warning in his voice.

"I-I was feel-feeling nauseating si-since afternoon, s-so I-I didn't have an appetite to e-eat." he nodded his head, glancing at her, and saw that she indeed looked sick.

"Okay. Sit, I am asking the maid to get dinner for you along with some meds." Sheherzaad so wanted to object, but it wasn't in her to object to any commands from him. Besides, she wasn't prepared to take any of his harsh behavior at the moment, especially when he looked like he was in a pleasant mood.

Once the food had arrived, Sheryaar had asked the maid to set it on a small, adjustable table in the corner of the room and asked the maid to leave. When the maid was out of sight, he sat before her and opened the dishes, only to reveal all her favorite foods before her.

Sheherzaad was surprised to see all the delicacies being her favorites because she was lowkey expecting him to show her another twisted punishment for disobeying his order. Yet she was still careful because she knew that she could never be so sure of herself around him. Nevertheless, it was surprising when he himself served her all the dishes.

Shehryaar looked up once he had served her the dishes. He was utterly clueless about his actions and sudden care for her, but it seemed like with each passing day he was more drawn towards her. Howbeit, the man was certain to not develop any soft emotion for her; for all he knew, she could be like his mother, innocent-looking but deceptive.

Still, he had those trust issues running within his veins.

He leisurely reclined, motioned for her to eat with his hands, and kept watching all her antics as if she were the 8th wonder of the world. Sheherzaad, on hearing his gesture, started her meal, uttering a small prayer, and looked at the tempting food before her. However, she doubted if she could finish all the contents or not. From the time she was locked up in that jail, she could not develop her appetite anymore, hence she would satisfy herself with a small portion.

In spite of her reluctance to eat a heavy meal, she did not complain, because who knows if the psycho in him wakes up and he might have another one of his bipolar disorders?

Sheherzaad was halfway through her food, and she was already full. Moreover, the whole time Sheryaar was staring at her. It did her no good, but she couldn't complain either. Anyway, It was bewildering when Sheryaar observed how she was struggling to feed herself, and sighed before telling her to stop eating.

"Stop. Don't force yourself if you can't eat." Sheherzaad was literally torn between being grateful or ignorant towards him. It almost felt like he cared, but she knew he didn't. Deep down all she knew was that he was a self-centered person, whose world revolved just around him. Sheherzaad, being extremely careful, kept the food down and looked away from his predatory eyes, casting her eyes down. Whilst, Sheryaar couldn't stop the chuckle coming out of him, she was literally acting a cat who was being chased, looking extremely cute. She thought she was being discreet, but all her emotions was easily captured in her eyes.

_____

After the lunch, he called on the intercom to send a mad with some medicines. Soon enough the maid entered and gave the medicines to Sheharzaad before leaving.

Sheryaar handed her the medicines, which she gladly took. Nonetheless, his eyes were trained on her like hawks, more specifically at her lips, as he watched her tongue cleaning her lips after drinking water. A sudden thirst to possess her came across his mind.

He snatched the glass away from her hand once she was done and pulled her close to him by her waist before slamming her front with his and taking her lips in a passionate kiss. The kiss wasn't too rough or slow; rather, it was deep and fulfilling. It was not like he was feasting on them, rather, it was like he was memorizing all the pleasures her lips had to offer. Meanwhile, Sheherzaad was stiffened like usual, just like a statue, until he ordered her to kiss him back. Therefore, having no option, she slowly stated that she would kiss him.

The kiss continued for a long time until they both were out of breath. Sheharzaad again was suffering from the same paranoia and flashbacks and tried to break the kiss several times but he didn't let her.

Sheryaar rested his forehead on hers as they both started taking deep breaths. He rested his forehead against her and looked at her face closely, which was glowing with a beautiful red blush. He couldn't contemplate what had happened to him, but that nigh of their wedding, he felt like gazing at her for the longest time. Her downcast eyes with long lashes, her beautiful red chubby cheeks, her small nose, her swollen lips, and all over the innocence shadowing her beauty. And at their wedding day, when he had kissed her, it was like the best kiss in his life; there was a pure desire and need, a passion, nothing like the angry kisses he provides just to torture her.

He steadily raised his hands and caressed her face with utter affection, as if she were a flower. She was indeed his flower. Even though his brain contradicted every time his heart whispered she was innocent, his beliefs never let him see beyond all of these. He was perplexed by all the new, uproarious feelings, but he felt like it wasn't in his hand anymore.

"Pata nahin kya karoon mein tumhara." He stated it, more like asking himself.

(What should I do with you?)

Placing a final gentle kiss on her forehead and ordering her to sleep, he left the room and went to his study to distract him from the new thoughts flogging his mind. And to go through some papers which his new business partner had sent.

.....

Since, he was back from Islamabad, she was already planning to resort to her previous measures of avoiding him.

The night sprawled in the sky but tonight she didn't leave her room like the other times she would, considering and probing over the words he had said to her this morning.

'I've my eyes on you, Sheharzaad'

There was subtle hanging threat in his tone while his eyes pierced in hers as if he wanted the message to sink in and know the deeper meaning of his words.

That he was aware.

He has always been aware of her activities.

And what she has been doing behind his back.

Those sleeping pills....

No!

He should not know that at any cost.

That paranoia didn't let her leave her room as she always did the other nights. He had directly addressed her behaviour and now despite wanting she can't leave the room and be away of him.

The clock struck 10.

And her heart was palpitating.

It might be the first time she was seeing him late night after their wedding.

She did not know why but she felt her palms getting clammy.

Felt nauseous and severely apprehensive. To this date. she herself was not able to understand why her body was reacting all worked up and anxious around him specifically after their wedding. These reactions were not in her control.

She had lost a control over her mind long ago.

Now it was her brain who had a control over her.

The door to her room cracked open, making her jolt and bringing her out of her world of imagination. Her face turning to left watching him walking in.

Sleeves rolled up revealing forearms. Coat loosely hanging on his shoulder. First few buttons of his shirt opened. One hand stuffed in his pocket while the other held the coat.

As he entered, she stood up and began rubbing her fingers together which was a sign of her uneasiness.

He stepped forward towards her while throwing the coat away. Her both arms got in his grasp and she flinched, first, looking at his hands that held her arms and then moving her eyes up to his face, which was emotionless and blank.

Yet his eyes were zeroed at hers.

"How was your day?" he muttered, turning her around so now her back was against his front. Fixing his chin against her shoulder, he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly as if his life depended on it.

"Hmm?" He hummed, they both staring each other through the mirror. But she could not hold his intense orbs on her, so as usual her eyes flashed down, staring at the floor.

"G-good," she whispered.

Still her eyes were looking at the mesmerizing floor. Her words would become less around him.

He stared at her through the mirror but not for once did she raise her eyes. Her breathing fast and quickened.

That innocent face of her tempting him so much, inviting him to her. More so when she took her lower lips in between her teeth our of her nervousness.

Her shyness.

Her hesitance.

Nervousness and fear.

Tempting him so much that he wanted to feel her.

Just like he felt her lips yesterday.

It's been days since he had last touched her, truly, in all senses and he had been waiting for the right moment patiently.

The right moment she had been delaying on purpose.

"Little lady, what is stopping you to look at your husband?" he atlast addressed making her eyes flash up and they again connected in the mirror.

His eyes hooded as a smile came over his lips. His hand snaked through her arm and grasped her dainty hand. His eyes had still arrested her orbs as he moved her small hand closer to his lips, brushing his lips against her knuckles before giving a kiss.

"I like you, Zaad," he uttered, releasing her hand, "and just so you know, I notice everything you do," he said and she felt as if his hold on her body has tightened.

"Everything," He pushed her hair aside from the back of her to her front.

"Which includes you on purpose avoiding me,"

Scared she tried to slip herself out his hold, and he didn't let her.

"Which includes you taking sleeping pills and that too without my permission,"

Her heart dropped in the pit of her stomach.

"Which also includes you going to baba's room whenever I get home and not coming to the room until you're sure that I slept,"

Her breathing became ragged and instinctively she tried to release herself from him but he didn't budge rather tightened his clasp around her, making it difficult for her to breathe.

She wanted to run.

Run and hide.

Because now nothing would save her from his wrath.

"And how can I forget, how you'd run and hide to my physical advances, little lady,"

"That is cute," he tucked her stray tresses behind her ear and her shoulders raised up as a response. His eyes got fixed on her hair and then moved to her face which had almost paled and turned white. Tears already prepared to run down through her eyes. Her teeth clattering and lips shivering. "But it angers me when you do it on purpose,"

"I'm a man of needs. And you're my need, Sheharzaad,"

She began to sniffle. At the same time, ran short of breath.

"Do you get it?"

She remained quite but small sniffles kept on escaping from her nose and mouth. It was then, he released her, allowing her body to breathe properly.

"I did not hear a response?"

"J-j-jee," she whispered in an inaudible tone.

(Yes)

"Hmm?" He instigated her to bring more volume to her voice.

"Jee," This time she said loudly.

He turned her towards himself. The pad of his thumb cleared the tears streaking her cheeks "I'm letting it go," he said, his thumb caressing her cheekbones, "but if I ever came to know that you've been taking those pills without my knowledge and purposely avoiding me then-" Immediately, her hand moved and she placed it on his lips not letting him to finish the threat.

He kissed the palm of her hand before taking it in his, chuckling.

"Ainda.... ainda apko shikayat ka... moka nhi mileh ga," She said in a low voice.

(I won't have you complaining next time)

"Alright. I won't do anything but," suddenly he held her waist and pushed her closer to him, "now I want to do alot of things with you, little lady,"

His nose paralleled with hers as he titled his head and kissed her. His hand slowly moving the zipper of her shirt down as the heat escalated between the,. His desire reaching new heights.

And before things could reach the climax, she fainted.

.......

She has been a dutiful wife as she should be. After she came to know that he had realized everything it was impossible for her to avoid him because he had mentioned in clear cut words that he would punish her.

She would wake up early before he would wake, prepare breakfast for him, have his clothes prepared. Wait for him late night until he would come back and only then she would sleep. She would literally walk on eggshells around him, hoping he won't get a chance to complain next time.

Numerous time, he had physically approached her and every time she would faint. And the next morning, she would be extra vigilant. He had not reprimanded her as such on this topic.

Currently, she was in the kitchen, making coffee for him. She had come to know that he started his day with coffee and since then she took that responsibility as well. It was the third cup she was making as the first two cups were not up to the mark so she had to waste them.

As she had said, she won't give him any chance to complain.

Pouring the coffee into the cup, she placed it on the saucer and carried it to his study where as usual he was working. He was the most workaholic person she had ever seen in her life. Even though she was too when it came to fulfilling commitments of any sort but not even the one one percent of what he was. He worked 24/7. And probably that was the reason he had kept the business and mafia under his control.

On her way to his study, she met Dua who passed her a smile. Dua was a nice girl. This was what Sheharzaad gauged out about her. She would sometimes have little chit-chat with Sheharzaad in the kitchen when she would be preparing food for Shehryaar. It was Dua who told her that what sort of breakfast he wanted, at what time and what coffee he liked.

Sheharzaad too would sometimes question Dua about the roots of the family. She would answer each one of them but whenever it would come to her mother, Dua would remain quiet. A steely expression coming over her face. And she would change the topic.

Through Dua, Sheharzaad came to know that their mother died while they all were young in an accident. Afterwards, it was their grandfather who brought up Shehryaar and Irtaza and their grandmother who brought up Dua. Shehryaar was particularly closer to his grandfather than all the members of his family. And to this day, Sheharzaad could see the influence Shehryaar had of his grandfather. The reflection and the aura of his grandfather he carried within himself. He resembled his grandpa more than his father.

Dua also told that he was just seven or eight when he accompanied his grandfather in murders. And just ten when he was to kill a suspect in a case that was being solved under their grandfather's supervision.

Upon asking, Dua told that their grandfather was and still the epitome of danger. His verdict is the final word. Nobody could challenge him over that. Shehryaar and Irtaza highly regarded his words.

Sheharzaad could deduce that these two brothers were the pillars of his strength and mafia. If they went against him then their grandfather would be as helpless as anyone. Because practically he had shifted all his power and authority to these two. And since they both had been brought up under his wing, he had inculcated all his teachings deeply within their minds. Carved their psych according to what he desired. And that was the reason, they both can not go against him.

Sheharaad wondered how the fortune favoured him. If their mother wouldn't have died, maybe he won't be carrying the same power as he was now. Maybe Shehryaar would have been a different person. He wouldn't be as callous and barbaric as he has been with her. From throwing her off from a cliff to keeping her in the cell, maybe these things wouldn't have occured with her.

One question that always arise in her mind that where was their father in all this. How could a father let their sons turn into a killing machine infront his eyes. And Dua's response to her question was that her father was heartbroken after their mother's death. He had become so hopeless in life. Rather he still was. And nobody could fight their grandfather while he was in power. Their father even tried to remedy the teachings of their grandfather but the two children had already reached the dead end.

That's all their little chit chats in the kitchen revealed to Sheharzaad.

Upon reaching the study, she knocked at the door before entering. She found him sitting on his chair reading a book. His books were mainly related to psychology, criminology, about serial killers and how their mind works. They all were non-fictional. Some books were business related. Some were related to human body as well which covered about the vital organs of human body and the weak points of our body. And many more along these genres which, she thought, helped him in his work.

She placed the cup on his table and was about to leave the room when he stopped her.

"Come here," he said and she walked towards him.

Did she do something wrong?

She questioned herself.

He stood up, opened his drawer and took out a phone. He held her hand, opened her palm and placed the device on her hand.

She was confused as she looked at the brand new phone and then at him. She remembered asking him for a phone the other day on Dua's insistence.

"Here. Take it,"

"Phone?"

"You can contact that friend of yours whenever necessary. Her number is already in it,"

Sheharzaad's face brightened at that and a smile made its way on her lips.

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes," he kissed the crown of her head, "really,"

"Thank you," she said and turned around to leave when he clasped her forearm. She frowned looking at him.

"A thank you won't suffice, little lady," he lowered his voice into a husky tone as his eyes narrowed at hers.

She blinked innocently, not understand the meaning behind his words so her frown deepened.

"Thank you... so much?" she said more like a question.

He gave out a throaty laugh at that.

"No,"

"Umm... I d-don't know-"

"A kiss," he said and her cheeks turned red.

"Actually.... I was...I," she was stepping back when he propelled her towards him before backing her against the table that had her caged between him and the desk.

"I won't let you go just like that, little lady,"

If possible, her face turned more red as she stared in his deep and husky eyes. And she could already see a desire dancing in those orbs. She could see how eager he was to hold her, how much he was yearning for her. She felt only one kiss won't be able to calm down the thirst he had been carrying for her.

The dark and deep desire he just had for her.

Slowly, she placed a kiss on his lips. A small chaste kiss so that fire in those orbs would subside.

As soon as her soft luscious lips touched his, he felt an electrical signal jolting through his entire being.

How much he wanted to feel her.

Wanted to touch her to his lot.

Wanted to feel her warmth.

Hold her.

Without any barriers between them.

That lust.

Unacheived lust.

That desire.

Unattained desire.

That thirst and yearn he had for her was just for her and for no one else. No one could fulfil it.

It was her.

Just her.

Her only.

And he had realized it last night. When on this same table, he had been drunk thinking about her.

The irony.

Despite being his wife, she was still untouchable.

His drunken state and his heavy desires made him call a woman to fulfil his lust.

And as that woman undressed herself infront him, approaching him, swaying her body seductively as his druken form stared the scene unfolding. Before that woman could touch him, his hand had raised and the woman was asked to leave.

He did a mistake.

Of finding someone so special as her in others.

Thinking they could satiate him.

But he realised the thirst he had was just for Sheharzaad.

His grey eyes stared back in her shy orbs.

He almost chuckled to himself.

A small chaste kiss could make her as red as a tomato.

"Only one kiss?" he said, lowering his face to her level. His eyes slightly hooded and narrowed in a playful manner, "It is not enough,"

After last night, he had realized that there was something more than just attraction or mere obsession he had for her.

Something more.

That was just attributed to her.

Only she had that.

How his heart would swell in her presence was an indicator of that.

Sheharzaad, after listening to his words, quickly placed a kiss on his lips again but as she was about to pull away, she heard him say, "a little longer,"

And with that she kept his lips on him. Her hands fisting around his shirt. The nervousness taking the best of her.

He hugged her tightly breaking the contact between their lips, while rubbing her back.

"I won't let you leave me, Zaad," he whispered, "Ever,"

And there was no suspicion in that.

He won't let her leave.