Chapter 20: Chapter 20

I hear someone outside.

Someone’s coming.

My mom gets up from her recliner and opens the door. I gasp.

It’s Kendal. She has tear stains all over her cheeks and her red hair is messy.

But I am happy, happy to see her again.

My mom forces herself to give a welcoming smile, Kendal notices it.

“Don’t worry; I was just here to see how you were holding up”

Now my mom gives her a genuine smile. “Come in my dear” says my mom and closes the door.

As they make their way to the couch, Kendal see how messed up the house is. She notices our picture next to the couch on the tables and a sad smile plays her lips.

“You both looked so happy” my mom says making Kendal jump.

Kendal gives a simple nod and sits down.

“How are you Mrs. Cerise?”

She just shakes her head and tears form in her piercing blue eyes. “I think, I wasn’t enough of a good mother. That’s why I couldn’t save my daughter or my son”

“You have a son?” asks Kendal, shocked.

“Had” My mom corrects.

I had a brother who was two years older than me; he got into some gang and ruined his life and lost his life in an accident. That’s the reason we moved to Deorgon, for a fresh start and that’s also when I took the decision that I am never going to talk about my brother, Lane.

I never thought about it until now.

“I am sorry. And just so you know, you were the mother that I’ve always wanted; you took care of me like I was your own. I am sure Kezya saw the same”

I closed my eyes to get away. I didn’t want this. I’ve never wanted this.

“I hope you got the journal of Kez’s?”

“Yeah”

“I think you should have this too” she hands over my very personal journal.

I’ve kept it hidden, a place that no one knows. I wrote it whenever something very bad happens. It has everything, even my reason for taking my own life.

I didn’t want them to see it.

Guess, there is no option.

But I feel free, I could feel myself floating, I don’t want to leave. I want everything back. My memories, my friends and Charlie.

I regret everything.

As I float, I think about every good thing that has happened to me in the past seventeen years. But my memories with Charlie, Kendal and Deorgon are the best.

But I needed to go, so my loved ones can be happy and this is the best for them.

I close my eyes and Charlie’s picture flashes in front of my eyes for one last time.