Chapter 74: Chapter 74

You are my mate, but I just can’t stand it anymore. Whenever I see your face, I recall how I am caged in this palace with all eyes on me.

I am nothing but a puppet in the eyes of your father. Am I selfish in murdering your loved ones? Why can’t I rip off my heart from my nightmares and be happy? Your father killed my first love and hung her head in the eyes of the realms?

I love you, but I want your parents to die. I just can’t stand it.

I want to ruin everything around you to be satisfied.

My parents are living in the slums with bugs as their food, and you want me to be happy? How can I ever love you when your father broke me apart? How can I ever look into your eyes and tell myself that I am worthy of your love?

How can I stand by and watch you and be happy?

Do you know I hate children so much I want to rip them off because they remind me of my former self and my first love?

My heart is full of hatred and darkness. I can’t ever look at your face and be happy.

Will you ever forgive me, Oceana, if I kill your parents? Kill Alex, Jessie, to put a stain on your father’s heart? Wouldn’t you hate me, Oceana?

I filled my heart with darkness and no matter how I try to stop it, I can’t. Even if the world ends, it will not stop me hating your people.

The love I have for you isn’t stopping my rage from growing.

I love you. But can I stay beside you after spilling blood? You know what, Oceana, I might end up taking over the Mackenzie Clan and put you as my slave. Trample on your feet just to get my revenge on your family. That’s how much I hate your family. So please leave me alone.

This is my reason for pushing you away from me, because I want to annihilate your parents and your siblings. I want to torture you and make you feel the pain I have felt for a long time.

Will you be able to swallow all that pain, stick by my side and still love me with no darkness in your heart?

Moon goddess, I hate you. The fate bestowed on me is nothing but cruel because I am about to sacrifice my mate for the world.

Climb the throne and become the Alpha King with the wolf stone in my hand. Since you make my life miserable.

I am determined to make everyone suffer for causing me so much pain.

Emily finds out about my secrets.

I didn’t flinch at all.

I wish she would know more and leave, but she still stayed.

My fake parents found out about my bond with Oceana and ordered me to leave the palace.

But to satisfy my longings for Oceana, the years of waiting to have a taste of her, I had sex with her to break her father apart.

I tasted her first, touched her first and now, Valarr is next in line.

He can claim her now for all I care, yet it hurts my heart and I don’t want to give a damn.

I left, but unknown to them, I had removed the curse mark after many years of studying and returned to my family with the wolf stone.

I planned to kill Oceana’s family for the blood her father had spilled.

That’s when I died and lost myself because the Alpha King pushed me off the cliff.

The Gerard Daciana everyone knew died and secretly turned into someone else and became Ivy Thorne, an Alpha and leader of the Dragon Pack.

I forgot all about someone called Oceana and I hope to never remember her again.

I was dead with the memories of Oceana, hoping to heal myself from the tortures of the bond.

I let go of everything for the sake of my revenge and my family unknowingly told me I will make the worst mistake of my life if I stayed with Oceana’s bond.

So, I killed everything about her and became born as a new being.

I hate to admit it.

I have regrets and I wish I could turn back time.

I couldn't stay in the realms anymore. I had to leave, and it was for the best.

I wish I could stay, but I can't take Oceana with me.

I can't take her with me. I would hurt her. I would kill her and spill her blood on my hands, and I don't want that.

I will hurt her. If I don't leave the realms, I might do something we would both regret for the rest of our lives.

As I sit alone in the night in a strange garden.

My memories of Oceana flood my mind.

Regrets weigh heavily on my heart, and the ache of longing for her presence consumes me.

The echoes of our shared laughter and the warmth of her touch linger as she runs over me, haunting my solitude made me shed bitter tears.

It felt like my heart was ripped apart from my body.

She was the only one I ever loved. She made me smile whenever I was sad. She was the reason I saw hope in my life again. I was so broken she kept me living. She was the only reason I could stand on my feet once again.

If only I could turn back time and mend the fractures in our once-unbreakable bond.

I wish I'd told Oceana how much she meant to me.

I miss her more than words can say.

My nights feel empty without her by my side, and I long for the warmth of her presence.

Each day without her is a reminder of what we could've had.

Oceana's name lingers in my heart and I wish I had not done what I did. My fate had bonded me with her now, and it would be difficult to live without her.

I wish I hadn't bonded with her.

If I had known this would be my decision, I wouldn't have imprinted my bite on her nape.

I should have let Valarr take over her. She would be safer with him than with me.

I can't do this anymore. I am tired of everything.

I have exhausted my strength already. I can't be with her.

I can't change myself. I would never change.

I will always be a monster.

Knowing the dark makes me a monster.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I see myself staring back at me with different eye colours.

Then it hit me and I realised I had killed him.

The innocent Johannes, who knew nothing about the harsh realities of the world, was gone.

That once happy and sweet soul within me was ruined.

Teared down by my own hands.

I miss him.

I crave for his existence to come to me again.

His radiant smile. His gleaming green eyes filled with light.