Chapter 73: Chapter 73

What a terrible fate I have indeed.

Tears flowed down my cheeks, which means I can never have a mate.

The people I truly love will never be at my side.

The Alpha King was right. My life had a terrible fate and I can’t keep anyone beside me.

I never told the Alpha King about his daughter being my mate.

But he got suspicious about my movement and closeness with Oceana.

I fell in love with this little alpha girl as my mate.

I couldn’t help it, my love for her. I knew I could never have her as my mate, my wife or anything, but I wanted to be there for her in every step of the way.

I love her to death. I will do anything to make her mine, but I don’t want her to die for me.

I think about Oceana all the time. I don’t know if I can make her happy, but she is everything to me.

Her every gesture, smile, and expression was radiant.

She was the only beautiful being I admire.

I took care of her as a princess and made sure no one would harm her.

But as soon as the Alpha King discovered I was getting close to his daughter, he saw that as a threat to his family.

Though he tried to act cool about it. So, I wouldn’t think he was getting scared of me harming his daughter.

Yet, deep down, he was against me getting close to Oceana.

Because of that suspicious behaviour, I also tried to get close to Alex too after he was born to avoid his eyes on me.

Everyone was glad, and the house was as blissful as ever, but no one knew the secret war between the Alpha King and I which he dealt with indirectly.

“Stay away from my daughter?’ he once warned me on a cool evening.

Over the years, I learned how to control my wolf form, the wolf stone, but the curse mark on me was the problem and I was falling head over heels in love with Oceana every single day.

The more I tried to avoid her, the more the bond came pulling me to her.

The Alpha King, as usual, intentionally sent me to war to fight the rogues, using the wolf stone secretly to kill them all.

Sometimes he will intentionally put me in the front roll of the wolves warriors so that I could get killed.

I knew all his ulterior motives and went through it all to solve his traps and survive.

Oceana kept me going, they were times I wanted to die.

Carmine and Oceana’s smiles keep me alive.

Because of the bond between Oceana and me, I could sense when she was sad and happy, whenever she was in trouble, crying out for help, or injured.

I would be there at that instant in a flash.

When Carmine noticed how I always sense his sister’s feelings, including where she was. He told me to learn to ignore it.

“You don’t always have to respond to Oceana’s feelings. If father finds out, it’s going to be a problem and he will know Oceana is your mate. Try to keep it in, it’s for the best.’

I nodded and took his advice.

I tried, but there were times I couldn’t help it.

To get over the pain, the cries concerning Oceana; I began sleeping with other women.

I slept with Betas, Omegas and Alphas. I deluded myself into a world of pleasure to stop fantasising about my mate.

Because if my thoughts and body keep this up, I was going to go insane for sure.

So, I pushed my emotions into the women I fucked.

My rut comes and without Oceana by my side, I suffer it the most and go through so much agony.

Carmine will shift and hold me down from going wild during the full moon and the pain was unbearable.

I stopped whoring around immediately and controlled myself when I noticed Oceana was of age.

She understood what the world was like.

The Alpha King had to send me away from the realms for eight years because he didn’t want me connecting with his daughter.

I was a curse with a terrible fate.

I accepted it and obeyed his commands. But there were times I asked myself, what if I killed the Alpha King and Luna, what would Oceana think of me?

Will she loathe me for killing her parents?

I couldn’t stop thinking about her all these years and poured my frustrations, lust, and my dark desires on Emily.

When I first met Emily, she was such a sweet soul and lively.

Though I was rude and didn’t want to date her, I finally accepted her.

But I never knew all those words. I told her about what I loved about a woman skyrocketed.

She took it to heart and did surgeries on her body. She seemed a bit like Oceana, but I wasn’t happy.

She couldn’t have done all that for me. This is her body. She shouldn’t have turned it to someone else.

I was just randomly telling her what I love in a woman, not for her to put it on her body.

I like how she previously was, not like Oceana.

I knew she went through so much trouble and so as not to make her feel bad about what she did; I accepted it and didn’t say a word.

Next time I was going to be careful of what I say from my mouth since most ladies feel insecure all the time about their bodies.

I shouldn’t have pushed Emily into that sort of decision.

Though I never loved her, I got married to her and made her my wife to push Oceana away from me.

I didn’t plan to have any child with Emily because I didn’t want to.

Oceana.

I didn’t want to hurt her feelings anymore than I already did getting married to Emily. So I kept a lot of stuff casual and besides, I was going to take my revenge someday. I wanted to hate Oceana so much by also getting married to Emily.

I still have a lot of things to do with my life. I don't want my child to come to this dark world of mine and get involved in my revenge.

The darkness I feel in my heart isn’t going away.

I love and hate Oceana at the same time. Anytime I see her face, it reminds me that my people were destroyed. Living such a rosy life with no sort of pain attached to her angers me.

My soul doesn’t have a home. My heart has become a place with no warmth but nightmares. My fate is a curse with a burning dawn devoid of love.

Seeing Oceana’s smiles and her face shining in the sunlight breaks my heart.

Oceana, do you have any idea how I hate your family for stealing what belonged to me and killing my family? I love you so much, but I hate you...