Chapter 22: Chapter 22

Voice crying loud, I've been crying for days now and as I start to run, I stop to breathe.

"Who is he?"

His voice made me stopped what I was supposed to do. I placed the lap harp on the side table before facing him. He played with his black penlight as he leaned on the glass window adjacent to the patient's bed.

I furrowed my brows. "Didn't you read the patient's name, Lauyton?" He was a friend from college and a resident like me. I became close to him because of Gab. He was Gab's ex-fiancee.

"Zendaya, Zack Jersey Mendoza." He stared with annoyance in his face though he was wearing a mask. "I'm jealous."

I managed to crack a laugh that didn't reach my eyes. "Why would Lauyton Diem Elarde be jealous of him?" I looked at Zack.

I watched the beat of his heart on the monitor screen before moving my eyes to the ICP monitor that indicated his minimal brain activity. If this will continue, he might fall into a vegetative state. I'm hoping it would not result in that.

"You don't even know him," I added.

I checked the IV to make sure the fluid was dripping. He was in a semi-fowler's position where his back was arch a little. This was due to the nasogastric tube inserted in his nose. I hope his back won't feel sore when he wakes up.

"That is the point," he hissed. "My Gabriella Wong Tan, who promised herself not to set foot in their hospital just walked here a while ago to visit that guy." There was bitterness in his voice as he scanned the EKG wires attached to Zack's chest.

I suddenly felt the urge to hug him but chose to gently placed my hand on his wrist.

"I am waiting, Zacky," I whispered. "I know you'll keep your promise. You always do."

Laudi moved to his right side and stared blankly at the ventilator. I shook my head in disbelief when he added, "Should I consider coma to get her back?"

I scowled. "Dude, don't hate him. Instead, thank him when he wakes up."

"Why would I thank him?"

"He's the reason why Gab made her way to law school. His family owns the shops where you met Gab," I told him which made him strengthen his back.

"Don't tell me he is that guy?" He asked, surprised. He placed his fingers on his chin, a gesture he does whenever he is thinking. "The spiky quiff guy? Your best friend in high school?"

I nodded upon hearing the word best friend. Is that what we are until the end?

"Laudi." I called his nickname. "Do you know the reason why I always watch the planes passing above the clouds?" I asked, still staring at Zack. I gently held his left hand. There was still no movement on his finger for the last three days.

It's difficult not to cry. It's my first time seeing him after twelve years. I didn't expect it to be like this. I cannot bear the thought that this could be the first and last moment.

How would I be able to live with regrets and what-ifs?

"You are waiting for Aae to come home," he replied. There was a sureness in his tone that suddenly turned into confusion when I wagged my head.

"I was hoping that one of those planes would bring him back to me." I quickly wiped the tears that drift in my face.

"What?" He looks confused. Of course, I never bothered sharing my past with people I've met after high school. What is the sense?

I put a wall behind me. I stopped making friends. I treated my block mates as a mere acquaintance and never bothered to create memories with them.

How would I be able to create moments with them?

When I chose medicine over law school, I became the girl who can never say no. I was guarded by butlers. I couldn't go anywhere I please. My social media accounts were deactivated. My phone was tracked, so I got no use for them.

I woke up, traveled to school, and went back home. That was my daily routine. I was only allowed to go out with Aae, but I never bothered using that chance. Where would I go?

I tried going to hell by killing myself. Sead saved me.

Aae tried to work it out with me...but I just couldn't. I couldn't even look him at the eye without crying. You see, after all these years I still haven't moved on.

I made an effort to love him. It was a struggle. I lost myself in the process.

"The banana milk," he paused. "It wasn't Aae. That's why..."

"That's why he would stare at the banana milk every time you offer it to him." I completed the sentence. The nurses and residents know my love for banana milk. I told them I learned it from someone dear to me and they assumed it was Aae.

"I guess at some point he knows he wasn't the Captain I am waiting for."

He always knew.

A sad smile crossed my face. I instantly turned my back on Zack and tried to silence my sobs.

"You know what." My voice broke as I tried to remember the old days. "Back then, I wrote a prophecy about a...plane crash where Zack will be dead..." I bit my lower lip. "It was a joke...It was supposed to be a joke." I clutched my chest and immediately reached for the door. "I can't believe it is happening now."

"Zee..." He tried to find the words that would comfort me but he failed. I believe only Zack's baritone voice will calm me.

I raised my hand up and inhaled air on the mask. I need to be strong. I couldn't fall on my knees again.

"Laudi," I called. We both looked at each other. "Don't just wait," I said referring to Gab. "Don't just stand and wait for destiny to work its way because it might not always act the way you wanted it to be."

His expression softened upon mentioning Gab.

"Look what waiting brought us so please at least learn from me."

I threw the gloves and mask on the bin as soon as I got out of the ICU. I dried my tears and removed my scrunchies to let my hair fall down. I faced the glass window and fixed myself before finally leaving the facility.

I hurriedly went back to the E.R to do my rounds. I could feel the hunger in my stomach and my eyes starting to shut down. I couldn't believe how I managed to walk without fainting. I guess it wasn't starvation or lack of sleep that would make me faint, but the presence of Seven Clad Arellano.

He pulled the chart from me without saying a thing and gave it to the juniors. "Continue what she is doing." He commanded them before turning to me. "Let's talk." His cold voice gave me chills.

"I still need to finish-"

"What part of let's talk did you not understand?" He raised his voice. I instantly sensed the eyes of the people around us. I don't want to create another scene, so I followed him to the quarters. His strawberry scent lingered under my nose when we passed by the wall fan.

"Dr. Arellano-"

"What happened to Sead, Zee?" I could sense the slight resentment in his voice. He removed his eyeglass as he sternly looked at me.

I bit my lower lip and sighed. "What is it, Sead? If you are going to get mad at me for-"

"Sleep. Take a break. Go home." He commanded. There was a mixture of coldness and worry in his voice. Well, his voice had always been cold since I first met him.

"I'm fine," I lied.

"Maybe you missed, that was a command." He bit his upper lip and closed his eyes, which says he is frustrated.

"Don't forget you work under my guidance, Chief Resident." He was using his full authority as a fellow.

I hissed. This was the reason why I hated hierarchy.

"I'm fine, Sead," I repeated.

"How about you take it from a friend...used to be a friend?" He said, not sure.

I smiled a little. Sead and I met during my pre-med internship in the university hospital. He was already in medical school. We usually took the night shift and spent time on coffee breaks. We became close friends. Until such time, he told me he likes me - loves me. I'm not quite sure if it's past tense.

He became an exception to the barrier I set when he saved my life.

But of course, I had to reject him. I was promised to Aae and it's not like I can reciprocate his feelings. He had a hard time accepting it though there was no us in the first place. He then avoided me. We avoided each other and lost our friendship in the end.

We met again when I started my residency. He liked making my life miserable as my senior by extending my shifts before. At some point, I thought he just missed our late night coffee breaks.

"You still mad at me?" I asked.

"I'm not mad at you." He bit his upper lip while his eyes locked mine. "I'm mad at this thing called fate."

I laughed a little. "Maybe you just have to wait for serendipity."

"The difference?"

"Google it." I urged. He rolled his eyes as he frowned. He is really short-tempered.

"I'm still your friend," I added.

"Then, take my concern. Will you?" He matched my eyes with his deadly stare. "I'll take your night shift so just eat, and sleep."

"Really? The guy who likes extending my night shift will do that?" I asked in disbelief.

His sleepy eyes inch a little as he chuckled. I smiled. Please, let him find a girl he will love for the rest of his life. Clearly, it wasn't me.

"Yeah, so go before I change my mind."

I nodded. "Thank you, Sead...for everything." I sincerely replied. But sorry, I will not sleep. Rather, I will watch Zack until he wakes up. He is my comfort zone.

"Zee..." I was halfway through the door when he called me. "What are you going to do when he wakes up?"

I never told Sead about Zack, but deep down I know he knew about my high school life. He's friends with Chad.

I would tell him what's after the semicolon.

"Well, nevermind," he said. He walked towards me to open the door. "I changed my mind. Let's grab dinner..."

There was a surprise in my face upon seeing Aae standing next to the door. How long is he standing there? What part of the conversation did he hear?

"I believe my wife will have dinner with me." His brows arched as he coldly spoke to Sead.

Sead returned the gaze and I instantly felt Zeus' thunderbolt in between them. Damn! They have hated each other since. Why does Aae appear out of nowhere these days?

Sead smirked. "I believe she isn't your wife yet. I clearly know how fake the first wedding announcement is."

Aae gritted his teeth as I held on to Sead's wrist to stop him. Ugh, he likes provoking Aae. He quickly cut my desire to speak.

"Let her eat, sleep, and rest until six in the morning tomorrow." He used his commanding voice towards Aae. This was the reason why they don't get along.

Aae hated the fact that Sead was the one who saved me. He wasn't there during those times. He chose to leave because he realized how much pain he'd given me. It was also what I wanted. After my desire to kill myself, he decided to stay with me. He tried hard to win me as I tried to pretend each day.

"Do you think I don't know how to take care of my fiancé?" Aae emphasized the last word without breaking his gaze against Sead.

Sead sneered. "Better do it well, so others won't have to look for her."

Aae closed his fist and moved forward ready to land a fist when I immediately stood in between. I closed my eyes expecting a hit, but all I heard was Aae's curse.

"I'll take your night shift so you better rest." Sead caressed my face before leaving.

I bit my lower lip. Damn, Sead! Do you really have to do that?

Gosh! I couldn't believe this.

"I didn't know you'd be here," I directly asked and tried losing the argument that happened a while ago, so he would calm.

"I'm on break until after our wedding." I could still sense his anger as he clenched his teeth.

"Why?" It was too late for me to change what I said. It's not that I don't want him here, but there's still a month before the wedding.

"Why, am I not allowed to do that?" He raised an eyebrow. "I don't want you near him." He was back on his casual look when he said that. However, his eyes seemed to darken at those words.

"He's my fellow," I answered. There is no way I can stay away from him. We are in the same hospital unless-

He continued what I was thinking. "How about you change your residency?"

"Why would I do that?"

I felt my blood raising when he answered. "Because I said so?"

"What is wrong with you, Aae?" I couldn't hide the disbelief in my voice. "Are you still threatened by Sead?"

My hands fell on my side when he said, "I'm threatened of...Zack."

"I'm always terrified of Zack's existence in your life."

I parted my lips in shock. His voice broke as he placed his palm on his right eye. There was a band-aid on his knuckles. What happened to his fist?

A complete pause enveloped us. I could only hear my heartbeat shiver and his sobbed he's trying to stop. He rested his palm to hide his eyes.

I gulped the lump on my throat. I lost words to say. What should I respond?

I turned down my eyes while searching for words, but I was still speechless until he broke the silence again.

"How..." he paused as he deeply sighed. "How did he manage...to conquer your heart all these years?" His voice was shaking, making me looked at him.

"Without doing anything," he added.

My jaw dropped when I saw the tears racing down to his cheeks. He covered his eyes with his forearms to hide the pain but it was evident as his free hand was hugged into his chest.

I instantly felt the panic in my cells and the guilt I've hidden in my heart when he said, "I was here, Zee," he stated.

Aae still had his eyes close when he dropped his arms on the side. "I am here, Zee." It was too late for me to remove my gaze when his eyes searched mine.

"I am here...all these times." He bit his lower lip.

I was too stunned upon seeing this side of him. It was the first time. My heart ached at the thought.

I felt the grief rushing in my veins knowing he'd been suffering all these years because of me...because of us.

I'm sorry, Aae.

"I've done everything to win you. Why can't you still see me?"

"Aae..." It's all I can say.

The memories of him flashback like a strip of the film when I closed my eyes. Right, it's true. He was there...he is still here in front of me.

I recalled every bit of moments he wanted to share with me, that I threw away.

He always made sure to left food for me though he knows I'm not going to eat them anymore. He left notes each day though I never bothered reading them.

He never got tired waiting for me, no matter how late it was or how long it takes.

He never gave up on me...on us, and I witnessed how he loses himself trying to find me.

I would never forget the time he spent all day under the rain to ask for my forgiveness.

He made all the effort for me to forgive him. I did forgive him and freed my heart from my brother's death.

But my forgiveness doesn't include giving my heart.

It had always been Zack. I don't know why. I wish I could teach my heart to forget him, but my love just grew deeper each day as I waited for him.

No matter how hard I tried, I still end up staring at the sky, waiting for his promise. I want to know, what happened to us?

"You agreed to the wedding because of guilt, right?" he asked.

"No, it's not that," I replied. Or maybe it was.

He faked a laugh. "Ah yeah, you have no choice because they are already pressuring you, right?"

"No." I shook my head.

"Then, why?" He urged.

"It's the right thing to do," I whispered.

"What?" He grimaced. "What makes it the right thing to do when you don't love me?" He wiped his tears and I saw him closed his fist.

"Do you love me?" He asked. "Let me hear those words."

We both looked at the door when Laudi rushed inside to say, "Zee, Zack's-" He stopped upon seeing Aae.

I raised an eyebrow and slowly felt my chest crumpling. Is that good news?

"I'll do rounds." He quickly closed the door.

What the hell? He's making nervous.

Damn! What happened to Zack?

I hurriedly moved my steps towards the door when Aae grabbed my wrist.

"Don't go..." He pleaded.

I blinked and almost hesitated when he added, "Don't leave me."

He tightened his grip. Uh, why am I living like this? Why?

I was fine with marrying Aae because I thought I would never be able to see Zack again. I lost hope.

However, seeing Zack made me realize I'm still swarming with oceans of maybes and what-ifs. If I will not do this, I would truly be miserable at best.

I looked down and bit my lower lip. I felt the ache in my heart, though it wasn't enough to stop me.

"Sorry," I muttered.

I slowly removed his hand on my wrist. I struggled to pull it until his grip slowly became weak.

I immediately turned back when I saw him leaned on the wall to carry his weight.

"What will you do when...he wakes up?" He heaved. "Are you going to cancel the wedding?"

I wagged my head and pulled the scrunchies on my hair. "You know I don't have the courage to do that."

I grabbed the stainless steel on the wall to support my balance as soon as the door closed. I inhaled and exhaled.

I've hurt Aae in ways I couldn't imagine. I don't deserve him. Why is fate like this?

"ICU! ICU! CODE BLUE! ICU! ICU! CODE BLUE!"

I rendered speechless upon hearing those words. My chest was pounding so fast and my feet started to feel numb. It was on repeat for three times until I got a hold of myself.

I dashed toward the elevator and cursed every second that passed until I got out. Royce was on his way to when I called out, "Who'scriticalinICU?!" I said as fast as I could while holding my breath.

"The pilot-"

I don't know how many people I bumped into and how many doctors I failed to greet as I made my way to the ICU. My mind seemed to stop functioning and only my heartbeat was fighting against my body as I circled around the hallway.

I ignored the nurses rushing in the first room and head directly to the last room.

"Zack!" I yelled as soon as I reached the door.

I bent on my knees as I gasped for air. I sensed the gaze of his family standing next to his bed. Prof. Arellano was checking his watch before turning to me.

I paused and the world stopped the moment I laid my eyes on him. I cupped my mouth and my tears started to race.

"Zacky." My lips parted. I crossed the distance to give him a hug. My heart skipped a beat upon feeling the warmth of his skin.

"Oh, hey." There was a surprise in his baritone voice. He softly put his hand on my shoulder, sending shiver to my spine. "Dra., Sorry to ruin the moment, but my body is still sore."

"Oh, sorry." I blushed and immediately moved away from him. I wiped my tears and fixed myself before facing him again. "I missed you," I blurted.

I made a bow to his parents, still feeling embarrassed. But gosh, I missed him so much. I wanna kiss him.

"You cried upon seeing me and said you missed me." He creased his brows as he surveyed me. "It's either you are my friend or my girlfriend."

"What?" I asked, confused.

He scratched the back of his head. "Though, I believe you are my girlfriend because why not?"

I blinked. What is he saying? Did he knock his head off?

Wait, what?

I turned to Prof. Arellano. "He lost his memory?" I stated. Yeah, that's the only plausible explanation. Patients who go into a coma lose brain movement and there's a big possibility that they would lose their memory upon getting their senses back.

"Yes, though we're still going to run some MRI to check. I believe it's a temporary loss of memory."

"He forgot everything." Tita Zania held my hand. She was still the same woman I've met whenever I go to their parties. We're not that close, but his family treated me like theirs every time I visit them.

"I hope you can help us bring his memory back." His dad fixed his gray eyes on mine. He's the older version of Zack, it's like I'm looking into a mirror.

"My girlfriend is a doctor?" He asked.

I smiled. How I wish I am your girlfriend.

"I'm not your girlfriend."

He ducked his lips. I'm glad he's looking fine.

"If not, clearly you are my wife."

I shook my head and I saw her mother smiled a little. I know they heard the truth about me and Aae.

I don't know if I'll be happy or sad about his loss of memory. I feel both.

"Who are you, then?"

I don't know. Who am I in your life, Zack?

I smiled. "It's for you to figure out, Capt. Zack Jersey Mendoza Zendaya."

He twitched his lips as he surveyed me. I died a little when he smiled like he used to. "What's your name, Doc?"

"Zee," I answered. "Zee Katie Liu Zamora."

"Uh." He wagged his head. "That's too long to memorize, should I get you a nickname?"

"What would it be?" I asked, curious.

I swore it was the first time a smile reached my eyes when he sweetly said, "Mine."