Chapter 86: Chapter 86

Chapter 84: The registry

He was tall, well built... a potbelly slightly forming. Auburn hair, one or two turnt grey disclosing his early aging. A fairly maintained beard that suit him well. Hazel brown eyes, like his father. There was no telling Henry was Austin's brother. The eleven year age gap had always been massive, many of the reasons why their relationship had always been slightly iffy. Austin saw Henry as an uncle more than an actual paternal brother. They thought very differently, their views differed in so many ways that at times, Austin felt as if Henry acted like he was his father. Henry could never relate to Austin, not his interests or anything else.

"You must be Merrigold...?"

Merri blinked at him before she hesitantly shook the man's outstretched hand. "Yes, I am." It was stiff and the whole scene felt uncomfortable... she quickly retreated her hand. Looking around, Merrigold wondered if he had been following her as she took her walk. Anything to get her mind off the same plantation and sickening routine every single day. Any place she could re-read Austin's letter over and over again, undisturbed. Merrigold was indeed happy, this was not the time to be happy but anything but she was. Austin's assurance of his love for her was enough to have her smiling, enough to put her at ease. Merrigold could not wait to tell Austin that she loved him just as much or better yet even more. Feeling burdened with regret, she wished she had told him. She had so many opportunities but never did. Merrigold was desperate to write back but how would she deliver it to him all the way in London...

Back to her reality. Henry chuckled to himself, with his hands in his cream colored slacks. The man stared at her again, his eye moving from every angle of her face to her body. "I see, why my brother is so infatuated with you..."

Not helping the smile that graced her lips, she stared down. Walter's words rang again in her mind, reminding her that she was worthless. Even she did not understand what Austin saw in her.

"I'm Henry, that imbecile's brother!"

"Nice go meet you." She replied.

"I'm sure he hasn't mentioned me before, he never does for some reason. People are always shocked to learn that he has an older brother. I'd like to think it's because of his unfiltered hatred for me. That grew over the years. He laughed, Merri didn't. It wasn't fun, she could tell that it hurt him to say.

"Only a few times, I reckon he does not hate you at all... only...uhm...your spouse."

"Ofcourse!" Henry nodded now walking side by side Merrigold. The weather was nice and gloomy, the clouds signaled rain coming any time soon but their conversation remained undisturbed, it seemed Merrigold had already taken a liking to Austin's brother, he had a generous aura... like Mrs Cunningham. He did not look down upon her, he seemed so well mannered and never made her feel less than she was or called her any triggering names that reminded them of her background.

"I have to say Merrigold, I'm utterly embarrassed by my earlier thoughts. I had not expected you to be so breathtaking... my father did not do you justice when he spoke of you. My mother never mentioned of your beauty only your kindness and how she cared a great deal for you."

"I'm fluttered..." She replied, feeling awkward. She was not one used to being showered by compliments.

"You should be. I reckon, my niece or nephew will be so beauteous. Father will change his mind almost immediately when he lays his eyes on them. Yes, he acts hardheaded but trust me once those children are born... he will turn soft, he adores children truly. It is only that this has caught him off guard. He has never seen a mulatto either, neither have i... only because they're kept hidden as it is somewhat shameful evidence of supposed wrongdoing. The thought still scares him not to mention my grandpa was as narrow-minded as could be. My father is better, if you had met that man oh Merri... you would have believed the devil exists and is amongst us."

Giving him a smile, Merri shook her head. "I'm doubtful, your father has grown to hate me. You should see the eye he gives me when I'm in his presence."

Henry only wanted to comfort the girl, it was the least he could do for his brother... in his absence away from his loved one. "I reckon perhaps it's old age. He acts psychotic... even towards me. I haven't seen my father this way ever before. It's as if he has changed. He was always a good man. For him to treat Austin, the way he has is shocking."

"Austin does not deserve that. He has worked hard for all that he has. His career... and it's unfair that he has to suffer. I feel burdened and heavily at fault."

"It's not your fault, Merrigold... it's not..." there was silence before he spoke once more. "Did you and Austin plan this?"

Taken aback by the question, she found herself tongue tied. "Uh-not at all. I do not think so. We spoke of it but only how Austin loathed the thought of children and I, on the other hand had no plans of having him father my kids at all."

"What a surprise it just have been!" He laughed.

"I was terrified..." She admitted. "I hid it for a while until... I couldn't anymore. I assumed Austin would kill me for it."

"Kill you for what? He is well aware of the consequences, he did after all commit what he did. It takes a man and a woman to make a child."

"I suppose..." Merri shortly replied not wanting to get into detail about how Austin had promised to be careful but he did not keep his end of the promise. She wouldn't blame him, sometimes it seemed impossible to pull out and sometimes, she did not want him to. A feeling of void and emptiness tore into her in that moment. She always wanted him close, entwined and undisturbed.

"Have you thought of any names? Mothers tells me they're two."

"...Lionel and Lennox like their father. When I found out about the possibility that I could be expecting. Those were the names, I came across. I suppose throughout the coming months that's all I've addressed them as." Merrigold wanted to acknowledge the nun who had somewhat helped her and opened her eyes to her pregnancy even though she was in denial for a long time. Merri wanted to name one of them Lennox, she always remembered how the nun said it was her father's name who happened to be a reverends if she had kids she would have named them after her father. Merrigold decided she would, to abundant thank her. If she had not taken her in and brought her home along with them. Merrigold could only imagine where she would have ended up. It was such a big big world outside the plantation that she had only ever known. It scared her...

"Austin would be honored knowing you're naming your son after him. He acts a fool at most but he is genuinely soft and easily touched." Henry spoke. "When he was a child, he had this habit of bringing newborn chicks up to his room in a box. When asked, he would always say he liked the chirping and he was afraid they were too fragile to be residing outside."

Merrigold smiled.

"He also kept rabbits, two of them if I remember correctly. Father was always annoyed because Austin would aimlessly allow them to hop around the house and leave a mess even bringing them onto the dinner table. He insisted on bringing them along every where. They had similar names—" Henry thought for a second but he could not quite remember their names it had been a long time ago. "One day, father got fed up and shot them while Austin was out visiting William. Mother insisted Bertha and I never tell him. Austin was always so sensitive. Till this day, he does not know what happened to his rabbits. We told him they ran off. Later that weekend we had a barbecue, nine year old Austin suspected nothing as we grilled his rabbits."

"That's awful."

"It is. I reckon, Austin has always showed great love to his animals. I knew, he would be a great father. Also now that you know this deadly secret, it means you're family and you're to keep it as well."

Merrigold giggled. "Do you reckon Austin would still be upset it has been years?"

Henry shook his head. "Your man can keep a grudge for eternity, that is one of his many talents my dear."

Her man.

My man? It felt weird to hear.

Nonetheless it felt nice.

Speaking of grudges, Merrigold wondered if he was still upset about her giving her virginity to Thomas. In all honesty, Merri had never thought she'd have anything with Austin. She wanted to prove to herself that she loved Thomas and no one else; prove her love for Thomas intimately but even then, she put herself up for disappointment. She had regrets and those were certainly one of them. Merrigold would have done anything to go back in time and not be intimate with Thomas. The thought of it burdened her. She wished, she never did. Everytime she did, she felt horrible as if she was betraying him, Austin, someone she was not even promised to.

"Hey, everything will be alright. Try not to overthink alright?"

Merri nodded. The rest of the walk back to the plantation was quiet and yet mesmerizing. It gave more room for serenity. Something they both did not get all the time.

—

"Jones, the last name is Jones."

"Mr Cunningham, are you aware of how many slaves in England go by that names alone." The old lady rolled her eyes.

"I'm well aware but there is certain plantation owned by the Jones."

Austin remembered how Merrigold had said Jones was not her last name. It was rather her previous owners surname.

"There are many plantations around these parts young man."

Austin sighed, he wondered how he had assumed a local news paper could be of help to his search for Merrigold's parents. He loved her so much. He wanted her to be happy. He had wondered what would make her happy? Sure as hell it would not be the children. She had made it clear that she wanted no part in this. After thinking for a while, he remembered she did not know her parents. Austin hopened he would find them for her. He hoped they were still living, it was unlikely not with the conditions that differed from slave owner to slave owner. Austin was hopeful. He had done so much damage to their little girl but a part of him thought. If he could reunite them even if it was for a day. It would sure mean the world to Merrigold. He was not doing it to win her heart, he wanted to do it to ease his guilt. He wanted to pay for his unspeakable deeds with good deeds.

"Ma'am I beg of you please, look at the registry book and give me a compiled list of all the Jones. I will look through them myself even if I have to visit them city by city... door by door."

"Well that is some dedication but..."

"My wife is expecting—"

"Congratulations..." She replied with a grim facial expression, unmoved.

"Twins!"

"Is that meant to move me?"

"She has never met her parents. I want to do this for her. It would mean the world to her. She deserves this. You might not know her but I know her and all I know is she is a wonderful woman who deserves the world. She—"

"Your wife is a nigger?"

"No, she is a person called Merrigold Jones."

"Oh goodness, has anyone ever told you that you're such a nuisance. Return tomorrow... I will see if I have something for you. I have to suggest you start with a local church, only churches record birth, marriage, and death information but not niggers records I'm afraid."

Austin grinned thanking before she turned him away entirely aggravated. He really wanted this for Merrigold. It seemed impossible, the resources seemed not enough and the odds against him but it was worth a try.