Chapter 70: Chapter 70

Chapter 68: The denial

Mrs Cunningham walked in the guest room that they had been set up for her, the lamp was dim. It was quiet except her mild sobbing against the pillow. The bed was twice the size of her old mattress. Much more comfortable but nothing could fill the emptiness in her heart. Taking a seat on the right side of the bed, Mrs Cunningham scanned the food that was set aside, the flies roaming over. She had not touched any of it. Merrigold wore a cotton comfy nightdress long sleeved on the arms, it reached her ankles. It smelt like lavender, it was Mrs Cunningham's. It fully accommodated her visible belly bump; that she had tried so long to confine. Every time the door opened her heart skipped a bit. She knew he was coming to crucify her. She hated him so much. The thought of him, brought her tearful sorrow. The thought of him reminded her that she could never ran away from him and his misery. The thought of him reminded her that, if they had never crossed paths her life would be different. Moreso, it had not stopped kicking her as if looking for attention. Merrigold refuses to acknowledge what was moving continuously in her womb. She saw the movement against her skin when she was bare. How it had lived even after almost drowning, how it had lived even after almost hanging herself... her neck hurt. It felt fragile, the lining where the rope had almost caused damage was visible.

"...I'm very very disappointed in you Merrigold..."

Merrigold stuffed her face against the pillow. Vulnerable to shame and guilt.

"I expected more from you..."

There was silence before Merrigold stuttered. "...I'msorry...i..can't...do...this.."

"Do what dear? Take care of your child?" Mrs Cunningham asked with a gentle smile. "Children maybe..."

Merrigold felt sick.

"I do not want this, please... I'm begging you. Help me, Austin is going to kill me." Merrigold mumbled, her skin developing goosebumps at the thought of having to face him.

"That is purely nonsense dear."

"...y-you do not understand..." Merri stared at her, with puffy red stricken eyes. "Please do something... I will not try to take my life again please help me remove it. Plea—"

"MERRIGOLD, THAT IS DESPICABLE OF YOU TO SAY!" Mrs Cunningham stood up immediately shocked.

"I beg of y-you..."

"Merrigold, that's your child in there—"

"NO!"

"Just as much as it is Austin's child, it is yours as well."

Merrigold feeling frustrated and not being heard or understood. She threw the continental pillow across the room. Almost immediately she let out a shrieking scream that startled Austin's mother. Hearing this Merrigold's brother and Thomas entered the room. To come to her aid, what they saw left them befuddled. James and Thomas scanned Merrigold's figure, this had been the first time they had seen her without an oversized coat. When her eyes met theirs, she saw the disappointment that crossed their faces. Her heart sank, her mouth dried up... her tears accumulated. She tried to hug her knees to her chest but her bump wouldn't allow it. She became frustrated. How long would she have to live in this hell...? She asked herself.

"...again?" Thomas muttered.

"...n-no..." Merri cries failing to defend herself.

"I thought you said you were barren Merri, all along you were carrying his child. I thought—" Thomas sighed. "It does not matter."

"...James..." Merrigold called for his brother.

He only shook his head. "I should have never allowed you to leave with him."

"...I'm sorry..." she whispered out of breath. The tears blinded her vision.

"...James..." she called.

"...Thomas...please...!"

Thomas shook his head. "It's time, I got over you for good. Congratulations." With that he left the room. Merrigold broke down into muffled somber shrieking. Mrs Cunningham felt helpless, she did not understand the poor girl's pain or fear.

"...he will kill me James, he will—"

"Calm down!" Her brother told her. Trying to soothe his little sister.

"I can not. He will kill me for this!"

"If he claims to love you as much as he does, he will not dare kill you. Everything will be alright." James told her.

Mrs Cunningham nodded in her corner. "The distress is bad for a pregnant woman."

"I DO NOT CARE!" Merrigold yelled at her. "I'd be delighted if it died."

"Merri..." Mrs Cunningham whispered. "It's an innocent life."

Merri shook her head. Refusing to accept it at all costs. She would not. It had to go, Merrigold could not fathom giving birth, staying a few more months attached to it.

"She is right Merrigold, only you and Austin know what you were doing. This was not some mistake... you were both present and willing when this child was made. You both made your bed and you should both lie on it. However he reacts is not your responsibility. He needs to accept this child whether he likes it or not. Otherwise I'd have to wallop him into thinking straight."

Merrigold gulped down nothingness, wiping her tears away. Memories of her willingly being intimate with Austin crossed her mind. She hated the thought of it. Her body shivered at the thought. They had both agreed that there would be no child, Merrigold could only believe she got pregnant on the day he raped her. She remembered how he had left her dripping with his filth that night.

"As long as I'm here, he won't hurt you or my grandchild."

"See... Merri, you have me and Mrs Cunningham. We love and care for you. No mistake will ever make me turn my back on you. You're the only family i have. It hurts to know that you were willing to leave me in this misery, I thought we were in this together."

Merrigold was quiet, fumbling with her fingers. She mumbled. "I still do not want it, I don't want this child. You can not force me to love it. You can not force me... be it I give birth to it. I do not want it. Austin can have it, if he doesn't kill me first."

Mrs Cunningham turned to look at James with a comforting smile. "She needs her space..."

"Ofcourse ma'am." James replied heading out of the lavish room. As Mrs Cunningham closed the door behind them. "She will be alright, no need to worry. We will take care of her."

James nodded. "Thank you, I know this could be different but here you're accepting of the situation."

"None of this race nonsense, it's my grandchild regardless." Mrs Cunningham smiled, opening her arms to give James a hug. He didn't hesitate giving in, he would always be grateful to her for the life him and his sister had managed to live, he knew it could be worse.

—

It was nearing midnight when he arrived home. He was uncertain if Merrigold was alive or not. He hoped she was. His mother was knitting, waiting for him. She was knitting tiny little shoes. It went over Austin's head. Mrs Cunningham was glad her son was back, alive and well. His wounds seemingly cleaned up.

"William was not there.." Austin told his mother.

"She is doing alright." The woman replied. A wave of relief flooded Austin's conscience. He nodded.

"Things are about to change."

"I know... mother..." he muttered.

"Big changes, I expect you to act accordingly and to man up not ride off your horse every time trouble calls."

"I was going to seek help..."

"Lies!" Mrs Cunningham muttered. "You always run, always."

"She probably does not want to see me then?"

"Obviously."

"As long as she's breathing that's fine with me." With that he walked away, heading up the stairs. Opening the guest room door. He saw her sleeping soundly. Her chest heaving up and down. He would not step any closer. All this was his fault. It hurt to know that Merrigold had pretended to be well, she had pretended to be civil with him all so that she could take her life when she got the chance. Was that her survival technique? Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer. Merri has allowed him to hold her as they slept, pretended to be fine. Austin's eyes blurred as he closed the door. He had to get over her, he had to get over his obsession with her. Austin felt he had done enough harm. Moreso he could not stop think about her earlier question before all this had happened. He limped towards his room, ready for sleep to take over but it never did. His body hurt, from head to toe. His ears rang sirens every time he closed his eyes. The image of her lifeless body hanging, haunted him. As sleep finally gave in, he dreamt she had died. A nightmare, he never wanted to see prevail in real life. A part of him felt anger, how could she be so selfish to end her life knowing he could not function without her. Selfish.