Chapter 71: Chapter 71

Chapter 69: The lies

She blinked her eyes open staring at the Georgian decorated ceiling. One of the housekeepers had opened her curtains, the sun went straight into her direction and burned her eyes with discomfort. She slept stagnant in one position unmoving. She did not move but it was moving. She huffed, annoyed to death. It had been moving more than usual lately. She had looked around the room for anything sharp enough to cause her death. Nothing, unfortunately. She stared at the same painting for hours, it was disturbing. She hated it. Fresh lilies were out on her bedside every morning, the smell was awful, it made her morning sickness even heavier.

There was a soft knock.

In he entered, startled... Merri immediately grabbed a pillow next to her and put it in front of her stomach. He didn't look too well, the eyebags beneath his eyes. As pale as a ghost, he took small steps towards her bed.

"I did not say come in."

"William will be here soon, to check up on you."

"I did not say come in."

"William is a Doctor, he will take great care of you. You remember my good mate William Gallagher?"

"I did not say come in...!"

"I'm so happy you're alive, again, for the second time."

"Can't say I'm pleased to see your face." Merrigold said gruffly looking away.

"Oh please Merri, quit being ridiculous you love this face. Moreso when I'm above you and you're clobbering my back asking for more." Austin said trying to make it less tense but Merri only clicked her tongue at him, holding onto the pillow tightly. He stood at a distance not coming any closer.

"I've had the night to think and absorb. Think about what to say to someone who has tried to end their life twice?" He paused. "What do you require of me to do so that you stop trying to end your life?"

"YOU ALREADY RUINED MY LIFE!" She  yelled at him, immediately looking at the pillow that covered her proof of immoral action.

"No shouting, calm down."

Merrigold remained quiet.

"Remember when we were so happy..."

"No."

"Do not tell lies, we were happy."

"Until you reminded me that I was a lousy hideous nigger." She spat.

"You will always hold that against me?" He chuckled nervously.

"Leave me alone you bloody parasite!"

"Oooh she's very upset." Austin smirked.

Merrigold felt frustrated at how he was making a banter off her anger. He was enjoying her rage. Grabbing the metallic tray on her bedside, she aimed narrowly and hit him in the face. Austin cursed, crunching his nose at the pain. He stretched his neck left and right, trying to get over the hit. He had not expected it. He had not expected her to actually do something so violent.

"If you come any close, I will not hesitate to scratch you with these nails..."

"Will see about that..." He took slow calculated steps towards her bedside. Merrigold was afraid he would see it. She knew one way or another someone was going to tell him and that someone wasn't her. She was not ready so went at him like a squirrel—

"Bloody hell!" He cursed moving back. "Are you mental? Did you lose your marbles while hanging midair? You're such a Neanderthal. An animal!"

"Stay away from me."

"Gladly, now I remember exactly why I called you a lousy hideous nigger!"

Merrigold spat at him but it didn't reach.

"I forgot to add disgusting. Lousy, disgusting, hideous nigger!"

"...and that's why your manhood has been in between my legs more than I can count." She yelled back.

"Breeding with an animal like yourself, I was clearly desperate. Don't hold yourself at a higher stature, it wasn't even that good. I've been with better."

Merrigold let out a sadistic laugh. "Thank the good lord, go be with them then, Master Austin."

Out of words or any comeback. Austin felt angry. Why did she have such an emotional pull on him? She was able to switch his moods without him even realizing it. He left the room, a little buttered and his wounds feeling more open and not so good.

—

"Boy, am I glad you're here!" Austin said when the housekeeper informed him of a visitor. He knew William would never let him down. William was the only person who could help, he did not trust no other. It helped that he also happened to be a Doctor well at-least in this occasion. Ofcourse he was happy for William but he did not want that for himself. He had a goal and he was dead set on his goal. Sex? He never needed to go far to get it but as of late, it bothered him that the only woman he wanted to shag was Merrigold no other. Even in his dreams, thoughts...

"What was so important? Your face looks better than my wife described." William chuckled, looking at Austin who scrawled at him.

"Your wife? The loony was released?"

"No, Panashe."

Austin chuckled then mockingly nodded. "You still want to marry after that ruckus? Oh you never learn. Besides what am I saying? You can not marry even if you wanted to." Used to his awfully cynical comments, William ignored him. Austin was miserable and did not want to admit it, that was it. Miserably lonely.

"What's the matter?"

"She tried to bloody hang herself, that stupid thick-headed hussy!" Austin was still angry from their last encounter.

"That's awful, what would have made her aim for that over anything..."

Austin only sidled and looked aside. "I did not do anything, I reckon." He defended himself. As he did, every flash back of all the horrid things he had ever done to Merri tortured him within but he still planned on lying. He did not ever want to see weak in front of his mates. Merrigold had been one lucky person to see his vulnerable side. It never came out often. Austin had an awful habit of switching characters. When he was with William, he lied more than he should, he wanted to play strong. When he was with Merrigold, he seemed more human, more vulnerable and emotional. When he was with his mother, he played victim constantly.

"Bloody hell, Austin!"

"She dared me, she pushed. She dared me and I gave it to her. William, I swear one of these days... Jesus, I have had it up to my neck. She is so stubborn and—" he huffed. "Do you see all these scratches on my face? That bloody animal did it. She is a loony, I swear!"

"It must not have been the reason for her to want to end her life you moron."

"She probably knew, I would come save her before she could." He lied, knowing Thomas had saved her. Perhaps he was speaking of her first suicidal incident at the lake. William seemingly annoyed. "Why did you save her if you hate her so much?"

Austin did not have a solid answer. He seemed dumbfounded for a second. He did not want to express his cheesy thoughts to his mate either.

"I want her to suffer!" Austin yelled, the housekeepers almost jumped at the sound of his voice.

"Can I see her?"

"Ofcourse, that's why I called you... to check on her. She is still a tad bit out of it. The rope was halfway through her neck before I saved her." He lied yet again trying to seem like a hero. He knew well enough that all he did was stand in shock. Thomas had been the true hero. Austin hated Thomas and would never give him credit for saving Merri.

"Alright."

"Do not be too nice to her and do not let her innocent face trick you. She is the devil! Jesus Christ, I hate her!!"

Austin wanted to believe it so badly. Believe his words. Convince himself.

"Calm down!"

"You do not understand what I have to deal with..."

William nodded as Austin led him to the room. He swiftly opened the door and found the girl in one corner of the bed, holding the pillow close to her chest. The servant that had been put in to watch her greeted William and he seemingly returned the gesture.

Austin waited and waited, he was becoming nervous. What could possibly be taking this long? He did not want to budge in because he knew that she would cry and act relentless in his presence besides that she had told him that she did not want to even see his face. It stung but he did not want to see her face either.

When William came out of the room, he had a somber look on his face. Not knowing what to tell his bestfriend.

"She is alright? Alright enough to work right? Because I do not care about her at all. I want her out there working as soon as possibl—"

"She's pregnant."

"Excuse me?"

Here William was with a banter to knock his socks off. Austin thought.

"Bloody hell, what were you expecting from everything you did to the poor girl?

Austin could only sit down.

"She has that negro lover of hers from the commune. I told her to stay away from him but she is always with him. This isn't mine."

Thomas, it must be Thomas.

"Yes, Austin you bloody block. Reason being why she would want to take her life because she is pregnant with her lover's child because that isn't great news." William sighed. "You act a fool at times, she looks about four, five months or so."

Austin was stunned, the time frame only pointed to Manchester. She hit pregnant in Manchester? How? What? He had been very careful. It couldn't be. There was no such. Austin refused to believe it, without thinking he barged into the room. Pulling her to look at him. She started yelling for him not to touch her. Pleading, he held both her hands and pinned against her the bed, relentlessly crying.

"You know what Merri? You really tried it. You really did, now guess what? You're going to carry my child full term, that's your punishment. As for that lover of yours, I can not wait to announce that you're having my child. He will be so delighted to know that, his little innocent Merri has been around. Tramp!"

Merrigold did not care, Thomas already knew. He was already disappointed. It did not phase her. The only threat that scared her to death was actually carrying his child full term.

"Austin, what's the matter with you!!!" William pulled him back.

"I will never love anything that comes from you. I hate it already and I want it out of me..." She screamed with so much anger that the veins in her eyes scared William and Austin.

"Aha! You flimsy harlot you will love that child , just you watch..." Austin chuckled, Merri then spat in his face. William could only think, he was glad he was past this. He was glad that, what he had with Panashe was very different.. entirely different. Austin grabbed the covers away from her leaving her in her thin nightdress. She tried to cover her bump with a pillow but Austin grabbed it and threw it across the room. He stood back... watching her, looking at her, taking it in. How had he not seen this. I'm going to be a father? The feeling sinked. The anger he felt immediately dissolved, this was not the type of person he wanted to be. He did not want her to lose the pregnancy perhaps it might be the only thing that could bring them together, all he wanted was her forgiveness. Not knowing how to express his thoughts, he left the room. William followed right behind him. Austin's mother comforted Merri.

"See that wasn't so bad, was it?"