Chapter 61: Chapter 61

Chapter 59

Memories of when my biological father was still living returned to me. Back when I was still an Evans. I was the Rema Kingdom's princess. Prince Henry's only daughter, the Alpha King's only niece, I was Princess Harper Evans. Everything was easy back then. Prince Henry was an excellent father. He always smiles and sings me my favorite song before I go to bed. He often told me how much he loved my mother, but she died shortly after giving birth to me.

I remembered playing with my cousin all the time. He was the Alpha King's son and the Crown Prince of the Rema Kingdom. He is nearly the same age as Alpha Greyson and a few years older than me, so he considers me his younger sister. I had no idea at the moment that I would be separated from my biological family. And I had no idea that the day would come when I would meet an Alpha King named Greyson Ruiz. And I also did not expect my intense love for him.

But as time and seasons pass, I gradually realize that love is not always happy. It can sometimes drag you down and cause you to feel the most painful emotions in the world. Because there is love, there is sorrow. You cry because you care. Because love constantly intervenes, hatred grows.

And now I understand the bitterness... pain... and grief better.

I awoke feeling dizzy. Something seems to be pulling my body apart. I'm aching all over. When I awoke, I also felt as if something was missing. What I found when I woke up was Kylie and Rose. They told me what happened. Dylan's rogues attacked after I went unconscious. Beta Miguel's and Elder Mateo's betrayal is more confirmed.

Many people were killed in the palace as a result of the attack, but when the forces regrouped, the rogues fled with Beta Miguel. It was also there that I found Alpha Greyson had killed Dylan and Elder Mateo during the battle. I also learned that Mrs. Clea is now okay and healing.

I thought that my mood was going to improve because somehow Beta Miguel was the only remaining opponent but it wasn't long before the next piece of news stopped my world.

"I'm so sorry, Luna Amara, but... you lost the baby..." stated Elder Agnes. It was excruciatingly painful. My broken heart seems to have become more fragile. I thought I had experienced all the pain in this world. No, not yet. Because losing my child is more painful. It hurts so much that I want to die.

I was disoriented all day because of what I learned. Alpha Greyson didn't come by for the entire day, which made my heart throb even more. Because I believe he holds me responsible for what happened. I feel the same way about myself... he despises me as well. But it's true... it was entirely my fault. It is entirely my responsibility that I lost my child. I murdered my own child. I was careless.

"Luna Amara... you need to eat to regain your strength..." Rose urged me to eat a bowl of porridge, but I didn't feel like eating. I felt dumb and thought nothing.

"Luna Amara—" Rose was surprised when the bedroom door unexpectedly opened. When I saw Alpha Greyson, my lifeless heart raced like a fool. I was drawn to the bandage on his left arm. Perhaps because of the battle that happened. He got injured. I also just realized it's been over three days since I awoke and I've only just seen him now.

"I will feed her," Alpha Greyson said. Rose swiftly followed and exited the room. I'm cold. I thought I could stand up to him, but I can't. I feel like I'm going to drown. I find myself wanting to get away from him. I am ashamed of myself with him. I'm sure he blames me. I lost the future of our kingdom because I lost our baby. I am a worthless Luna, a useless Queen.

In my peripheral view, I noticed him take the bowl and sit next to me on the bed. Despite my racing heart, I remained silent.

"You need to eat," he started as he scooped a spoonful of porridge. As tears flowed down my cheeks, I clenched my jaw. When he handed me the spoon, I grabbed it hurriedly, causing it to fall on the bed.

"Don't act like you still care for me..." my voice cracked. "If you're angry, be angry! Why do you have to act like it's nothing?! I know you spent three days because you were angry. You hate to see my face! You blame me for losing our… c-child!” I screamed. I couldn't stop weeping.

He calmly placed the bowl back on the table. I fixed my gaze on him. His face was blank. I can't understand him. I feel like he's masking his emotion and it's making me frustrated.

"You need to regain your energy before we discuss it—"

"No! We're talking about it now! If you don't want me anymore because of what happened to our child, I'll accept it! I'll leave if you want! I will never show myself to you again! Just tell me honestly instead of pretending to be nice to me!" My heart is splitting apart. It's broken apart, but it's tearing apart even more. My bones are starting to hurt. And I dislike it.

"I wish I could turn back time and time again, but I can't! So, if... you don't want me anymore, I'll leave—" I was stunned when he suddenly punched the table. My jaw dropped. The table split in half due to the force of his punch. When he turned to me, I almost shrunk at the edge of his eyes, but I'm not sure why the pain was leading to the emotion in his eyes.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LEAVE ME, AMARA!" His words cut into my bones, and tears welled up in my eyes; his eyes were bloodshot, and I could see how hurt he was.

"Fuck... please... don't leave me..." He grabbed my hand and embraced me firmly. I froze because of what he did. "It was my fault... I didn't reassure you, I kept everything a secret, you were depressed, I didn't care about your feelings, and then... we lost our baby..." his voice trembled.

"I knew from the beginning that Beta Miguel was a traitor, but I have my own plans... I really should have told you everything. I should have given you, my assurance. I should've given you peace of mind... it was my fault... I'm sorry..." he said solemnly. My stomach dropped. I feel like... Everything within me collapsed. I blamed myself more for the loss of our child.

My voice trembled as I asked, "W-Why? Didn't you trust me?"

He hugged me even more tightly.

"I was... scared... I'd lose you..." he responded, but it seemed like a million blades piercing my already aching heart.