Chapter 118: Chapter 118

Chapter 118

The clock's ringing, deafening in my ears, my phone on the desk is beeping, rain is falling, and the trees are swaying, dancing with the air.

I stood up, hugging myself, coldness filled my room, and I went straight to the window to close it.

I could still see the place while looking up at the heavy lonely clouds.

I don't understand why the pain seems to suddenly return to my chest. I am okay, right?

Those lines of him triggered on me.

I tighten my hug and blew. It's getting cold here, getting cold like I lived in North Pole. My body is shaking, coldness is hugging me.

I went to the bathroom and locked the door. I need to take a bath and go to the Coffee shop where I used to go to.

After 20 minutes, I came out. The rain is heavy, feelings is heavy too.

I immediately prepare my clothes to wear today. Since the weather is the same as my feelings, I chose jacket and scarf, gray.

First, I put on the black fitted shirt together with black skirt (up to thigh), I tucked my shirt. I wore a thick and long jacket, up to toe, and black leather belt. To make it fashionable, I wore 3 inches square heels, and a scarf wrapped around my neck.

Now, I looked at the mirror, staring at myself, looking at my outfit, myself.

"It's time to go," I said and smiled.

I left the room and I locked the door.

I caught Bria watching a marathon movie. Beside her, there are snacks and popcorn.

She looked at me for a moment and smiled. She looked down at my body, at my outfit.

"Nice outfit, sis. You look like a celebrity. Where will you go? It's raining now."

"Somewhere," I answered. I have already walked. I looked back to see her again.

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked.

"No need, Bria. I used to go alone," I said.

I went out. I walked carefully, lest I stumble. I also opened the white transparent umbrella, aha! Umbrella like Korean umbrellas that I watch in k-Drama.

I got in the car then I drove.

I went to the Coffee Shop. There are only a few people because it's raining but there must be a lot of people now because they need a body warmer besides the bed.

I ordered coffee caramel, my favorite. I sat near the glass wall. I looked around the place. I can still see the outside of the Café because the wall is made of glass.

I watched how the rain dripped on the ground. It seems like it is slowly falling down.

In a quite Café, rainy day, cold wind, and here I am, looking somewhere. I slowly turned around to check the waitress if she already made my coffee caramel.

I heard the clock says, tic-tac tic-tac, people around me, talking to their girlfriends/boyfriends.

The clock suddenly stopped even the people around me.

I slowly looked at them, the waitress holding my coffee caramel, a man talking to his girlfriend, an old man taking his wife's hand, and a man walking to the counter. Every things stopped, people stopped, rain stopped, but the man is still walking and I am still moving, thinking what's happening.

I barely looked at the man, wearing leather jacket, sipping coffee, and accidentally looked at me.

I blinked, slowly but a billion times. I was unaware that every things around me are hunting my mind.

We were both looking at each other. It seems like the clock won't run again, rain won't fall again, and people won't move again.

The man, he is.

He smiled on me but his eyes shows sorrow. He is ...

He is ...

Neil.

I turned my gaze away. I looked out. Maybe, I am hallucinating, delusional. He can't be here, I know. He moved somewhere, other city, country.

"Your order, Ma'am," said the waitress. Of course, I looked at her but my gaze turned to the man holding a cup of coffee. I wasn't hallucinating. How majical this day is?

I take it while not taking my eyes off him, not even blinking.

100% He is here too.

This man in front of me, the man I loved before — until now, the man I used to talked to, the man I didn't expect to see here, is the man who left with unspoken words.

I stood up. I went out and walked outside. I forgot my umbrella inside but my body is taking me away.

I continued walking. The rain is falling on me, I'm wet. I ignored even though I was wet from the rain. I was still walking and the rain suddenly stopped. Gladly, finally, the rain stopped ... but when I looked around, still raining. The rain getting heavy.

I slowly looked up. Someone's hand, holding umbrella, yellow umbrella.

Who's this someone?

I stayed looking up. I wonder who's this someone.

"Why you're walking in the rain without an umbrella?" he asked. HE ...

I turned around, slowly, to see him. Familiar voice makes my heart to get heavy, again and again. A voice I thought I wouldn't heard anymore. I thought ....

I looked at him, looking at him, seeing his brown eyes, red pinkish lips, pointed nose and his long attractive eyelashes and eyebrows.

I looked down.

"Pershey," he called softly.

I looked at him again. I hope I can look at him the way he's looking at me. Seems like nothing happened.

"N-neil," I said, letting out a strange laughed.

"Why do you leave?" he asked. I blinked, thinking what does he mean?

"Did I?"

"Ammm ... I mean, you're inside and you suddenly walked out." He stepped one, closer to me.

I turned my gaze away.

"Pershey," he cold softly again. His voice, voice I used to hear before. "Can we talk?" he asked.

"I have to go, I'm wet, I'm soaked," I excused.

I walked again but he followed me. I was supported.

"Can we talk later?" he asked again. I opened the door of the car first before I looked at him.

"Do we have to talk?"

"Just a favor, please, can we?"

"6:00 PM, here," I answered before I went inside. I drove away from the Cafe. I got back in the car, hugging my cold body.

"What happened?" Bria asked. I just looked at her. "Why you're soaked?" she asked again.

"I'm fine, don't worry." I said. I went straight to the room. I locked the door and immediately went to the bathroom.

I take off my clothes to take a bath again. I'm hugging myself while looking at the shower.

I turned it off. I leaned against the wall. I turned it on again and turned it off.

I put on the towel to cover my naked body. I sat on the bed while looking at the window. The curtain dances as well as the branches of the tree. Heavy thunder accompanied by cold winds and heavy downpours.

The rain is getting heavy and I think I'm drowning.

I looked at the dark clouds. Rain is falling, falling down, tears from eyes, falling down.

I tightly closed my eyes. The rain is heavier but my tears are heaviest.

I forgot when was the last time I cried? When was the last time a heard he called my name? When was the last time we talked? When was the last time we held each other's hands?

I closed the window, the curtains. Still, coldness is here, sorrounded the whole room.

I walked to find a proper outfit to wear. I set a time schedule, 6:00 PM.

I looked at the window again, those words ... left in my mind.

I stood up and walked slowly. I remembered the albums I put in the box, albums I almost fired.

I opened it. Every pictures. Every places and every words written on it.

Those lovely pictures filled with love, pain too. Those achy-breaky pictures of us. It's been a long time.

I wipes my tears away. Why I am crying? I looked up, letting my tears not to fall again.

I don't understand why I am feeling this way. This heavy feelings.

I didn't even expect to see him in Coffee Shop. I thought that he's no longer here.

I saw him and he talked to me for a while. I don’t know why I left suddenly when I saw him.

I don't understand myself again.

Hours passed by just like minutes. I didn't notice the time. I'm thinking too deep.

As I looked at the watch, 5:49 PM. I need to change my clothes. I need to go.

I was about to wear jacket when I received a message.

I checked my phone.

Unknown number, sayin '‘Are you coming?’

I thought for a moment. Unknown number? I guess who he/she is.

I didn't reply, I don't know who's that person behind the unknown number.

I went down to go to Coffee Shop again. He's probably waiting for me.

"Where will you go again?" she asked.

"I will just buy," I said. She didn't speak.

I immediately drove to the Café.

I parked the car, just looking out the window, checking if he's here, if he's inside.

There, I saw him, holding a cup of coffee. There was an empty seat in front of him.

I stayed inside the car. I was hesitate to go, but why?

When I looked at where he is, he waved. He saw me, he's waving, smiling on me.

That place where he end everything about us, where he chose to let me go, where he left me ... alone.

I still remember what was the thing I was holding those times. I was holding a cup of coffee while staring at him. I thought he's going to propose because he's holding my hand tightly. I thought everything was the same as my expectations, I was wrong, I was mistaken by expecting so much things.

I just looked at him. I don't know if I'll go or stay inside this car.

He waved again. I have to get out of this car. I need to act like he's a stranger, like I don't know him, like we don't have past, like nothing happened. I need to act like that. Fakeness is necessary.

Finally, I even thought of getting out of the car. It's still raining, still pretty heavy. I left my umbrella inside and I can still see it there, where I last put it.

I opened another umbrella. I walked slowly.

After a long time, we met again here. This is the day I have been waiting for. My heart wants to see him again and now he's here. I can be clear on everything.

I don't know what would happen. It seems like this is it again.

Here I am, walking slowly. He's waiting inside, I need to hurry. Those lines he'd left,

still here. I'm going back to the place where he left me alone while holding a cup of coffee, cold coffee.