Chapter 18: Chapter 18

I crumpled the paper on my hand. I was not contented so I tore it into pieces after. I am really frustrated right now. My application for a tourist visa in Spain got denied.

How can I win back the heart of the man I loved when he's a million miles away from me? I need to see him, I need to be near him, and I need to show him how much I regret what I have done almost two years ago.

"Relax, sissy. It will not help if you keep on getting angry. Calm down." my workmate and friend Lizzie said trying to console me.

But there is no way I could calm down. There is no soothing words that could make me feel better.

"How can I ever calm down when I'm running out of time?" I said hopelessly.

"What if he finds another woman in that bulls**t country? What if he will decide that he wants to get rid of me forever?" I said while pulling my hair out of frustration.

"That will never happen, sissy. Fred loves you so much." she said.

"Thank you so much, sissy. You are really a good friend. I can always count on you." I said as I hug her.

She then immediately hugged me back. I can see genuine concern and weary in her face. She really is a good friend to me. I will not deny the fact that I am a b*tch but this woman in front of me stayed despite of my unexplainable behavior most of the time.

The biggest mistake that I ever did was letting a man like Federico Altagracia go. I know I was a fool back then I made a huge mistake but he never give me a chance to atone for it. It is true that I just wants his money at first, but when he was gone I realized it was not just about his money after all. I have fallen in love with him without even knowing it.

I love him so much that having the thought of him being with another woman's arms makes me very anxious. It makes my hands itch to kill someone. Yes, I can and I am capable to kill someone just to get what I want. I already did. I killed Mark, the man that I am having a secret affair with.

He is blocking my way to the man I love so I killed him. It was a mistake to have a relationship with him. He was my childhood and best friend, we grow up together and fell in love. We both wanted to get out from poverty and have a good life. When I meet Federico and he confessed his feelings for me, I did not waste the opportunity to catch a big fish which my boyfriend that time agreed. We are in a secret affair while I'm in a relationship with Federico.

My plan was to make Federico fall more deeply in love with me that it will come to a point that he will marry me. Once we get married I will have all Federico's property that will be conjugal between him and me. Mark and I made a plan, and it was perfectly laid but unfortunately Federico heard us talking about it. It was Mark's fault, he was so stupid that he did not lock the door to my apartment.

We did not saw Federico entering and eavesdropping on us. He heard everything I was caught red handed and there is no way for me to deny it.

"Did you hear the news that Fred has now a child, sissy?" Lizzie's question struck me. I feel like I was stabbed in my chest a million times.

"What did you just said?" I asked to clarify it what I heard was right. This can't be.

"Well, that's what I heard from the rumors in their company." Lizzie explained.

"How did that happened? I never heard that." I said as I sit down because I feel my knees wobbled.

I don't have the strength to stand. I feel so bad right now. I never saw this coming. How could Federico slept with another woman? I thought he loved me.

"They say the mother of the child is unknown. The child was abandoned, it was Mrs. Altagracia who saw the child and it has a letter attached to the child that says it was Fred's baby." Lizzie explained.

"She should not show herself, she should remain unknown forever or else she will regret it." I said that made Lizzie wonder.

"What do you mean, sissy?" she asked.

I did not realize she was with me I was so focused on the idea what to do in case that wh*re will show up. I then pay attention to her and shake my head.

"I mean I hope she will not show up until Federico and I will get married. I think it will be very complicated if she's on the picture right? She should not be a hindrance for me and Fred to be in each other's arms." I thoroughly explained so that she will not doubt.

"Yeah, I agree. I really do hope she will not show up until you and Fred are together." she agreed.

Lizzie has no idea what kind of monster I am. If she knew I wonder if she would still remain to be a loyal friend. I doubt it. She will definitely stay away from me or worst she would report the crime I did to the authority. I manipulated everything, I hired a gunman to kill Mark. He was very annoying.

I told him I don't love him anymore but he keep on insisting and forcing his self to me. He keeps on begging me to choose him and forget about Federico. But I just can't, I thought he is a big rock that is blocking my way to the man I love and the wonderful life that he can provide which Mark surely can't.

=Sarsi=