Chapter 48: Chapter 48

The bamboozled look he flashed her made her smiled at him_which makes her dimples etched perfectly into her cheeks. She nodded her head and continued "Being in secondary school opened a new bitter phase in my life. Life got more harder, there wasn't food for me in my father's house_I sleep on a woven mat whilst my other siblings have lush mattress. Albiet that was the least I cared for.

Even being the late comer and also don't have time to study_I was the overall best student; which was quite unusual. The always late coming girl, the girl that hardly talks, and when she speaks-the girl with the husky voice. Always, I was the center of harassment, my classmates always bullies me. But who was I to even report at school talkless of home?

Eventually, Abba's health was back_he was back to his normal activities-and that meant less starvation and sufferings. Mingling around guys and teachers wasn't easy when I was in Js2_for I was becoming into a beautiful and alluring lady that always makes Umma and Addah Amna envy. What they haven't realized was that was never my choice_I've never liked to be the center of attention.

On a Friday evening, I was back from school and met Umma seething in the courtyard, she has a mortal in her left hand and a long cane in her right. With a single glimpse; I knew I was died. She beat me mercilessly, saying Addah Amna told her I always mingle with boys and always goes to the teacher's staff room_but never concentrate on my study.

Abba came back and inquired about my sore back and bloodshot eyes; but who was I to tell him what happened? I had to seal my mouth shut and slept on an empty stomach. I got punished for over a month; because of the what I've never think of doing.

One day_Hamma Tahir was back in a late evening; there wasn't anyone at home but I, he was tumbling and murmuring incoherent words; probabbly high on something. I caught him red handed trying to take the money Abba strived hard in saving for Addah Amna's SSCE exams-for she was already in SS3_I in Ss1. I tried telling him what Abba wanted to use the money for; but from that day_I wished I was never being able to talk, I wish I was dumb and also blind.

He took the money, beat me up, amd told Umma that he met me chatting with a guy in the late evening. Abba was away on a business trip; I was alone to nurture my broken heart. I would do all the chores, cook the food I wouldn't be given, wash their clothes, and also sleep in the courtyard without even a bedsheet to sleep on.

That made me inured. I was starved that there was only bones left in my petite frame. I got infected with diseases that left me lifeless_but that's the least the people I've did all but loved could care for. I became a rag that almost got soiled for lack of care. I became a breathing corpse that couldn't even move a finger, nor could I open my heavy eyelids_just seeing their shadows passing by and voices filling my eardrums-whilst laying lifelessly at the corner of the courtyard.

The only person I could call my friend, Fareeha_came to our house to check up on me; for it was like forever since I went to school. Fareeha_the girl that I only share laconic words with; was the one that helped revived my soul. She called her mother and they took me to the hospital_with their help;I regained back my health_but never my heart-it was long shattered.

I became a school dropout, for Abba was still not back from his gold mining business_which he promised to spend only two months_but it was getting into the fifth month without my source of life. A spend my days praying for his safety_for I knew without him; I too wouldn't be alive. Umma makes fried yam for me to sell in the market_which was miles away from our home-but I was never given a penny for transportation or food. I would always wake up before subh, do the chores, make the yam and walk to the market_and I have to come back before 6 in the afternoon for the Awara in the night. It was never easy and still isn't easy as I reminisce.

I only get to eat food when there is left over of either fried yam or Awara_of which I would be beaten for not selling all before giving the leftover that Addah Amna and Hamma Tahir ate. I became so skinny that even the skimpiest of my clothes hang loosely on my frail body. With only the large orbs that emotes nothing but anguish-and dimples that etches with so much pain.

Abba came back on the sixth month, and that was the first time I ever saw him raised his voice at my mother-the woman I loved and still love. He was at the verge of divorcing her because of me_for our neighbours didn't omitted anything when telling him what transpired in his house when he wasn't there. His gold mining business wasn't succesful_but he bought me a new mattress, nourishing foods and also sent me back to school. Being their best student back then, they didn't hesitate taking me into SS2.

Life was neither hard nor soft_but one only have to blend into whatever it is life offers to him. Umma quit talking to me nor answering my greetings; she sometimes talks to me_but that I'm sure of it was because of Abba's presence. The humiliations and harrasments intensified billion times. There was never a moment I was not in tears. I was always sobataged of being the lady with the husky voice; none of them ever realised that I was created like this!" She had to stop, not because there isn't more to say_but because of her breathe that was threatening to halt. She have more to say, more to erupt, but it was as if her lips got tied. She closed her eyes_but that didn't stop her tears from streaming in oceans-as she was silent_listening to her silently breaking heart. Her story isn't a story worth reminiscing, it isn't a story worth telling.

Adyan was just staring at her; he couldn't even come up to placate or utter a word to her. She seemed a complete stranger to him. They've known eachother for long; but he felt as if he was first seeing her today.

She heaved a sigh and continued, with eyes clenched shut_tears rolling down. "I never thought I would make it to the time I would write my WAEC exams; but I believe Allah kept me going. I was always afraid of being late_for I knew that would lead to me talking and then; humiliation. But the day I was destined to meet you, was exceptional. I was late; and had to talk to the guy I thought was annoying at first. I thought you were like them, I thought you too wanted to hear my voice to laugh it off_not knowing you would be my soulmate.

My life was never the same since that day, you became my addiction. With every guy that approaches me; I have to compare him with you. It even got to the point that I was beguiled with kindness and got my voice recorded-only for me to hear my voice being played in the midst of friends. I first day I ever take a picture was on my graduation day; and that was with you.

As you said; the day should be memorable_and surely you make it memorable. I knew neither of my family would come, that was why I had to lie to you. As if a thunder; you disappeared in the blink of an eye. I've looked for you in everywhere I could reach but couldn't find you. I met Malik the day we took Addah Amna to the hospital he works_and that was the beginning of our blossoming friendship.

Betty was the first person that made me realized my worth. He was the first person that taught me how to stand up for myself and never look down upon myself for having a husky voice. He made sure he boosted my self esteem. Remembered when you took me to the hospital? The day I had an accident? That was the day I confided in him_the day I told him what my already shattered heart suffers from_which was your love. And unfortunately; you left without me having the chance to talk to you.

I went to school_and life was becoming better for the scorched lady I am. Betty and Fareeja were always by my side_making sure I had no reason to cry. After our first semester; we went back home_but I wished I stayed in school if I would be given the chance to. For I tagged those moments to be the most agonizing.

The woman I've always looked up to be my mother accused me of being a whore. She beat me up and sent me out of her house_my life saviour-Abba, wasn't in town. I cried like I've never did before and went to Fareeha's place. The next day I came back I met Abba and told him all that happened, Umma had filled him up with lies_but he believed me without even doubting.

Life decided giving me an apple; and I have to make a tart with it. Life became so serene; my siblings accepted me for being who I am, they accepted that I was created like this_and that wouldn't be changed. Also, destiny made our paths crossed, and like always_you left. From then, I choosed to move on_I choosed to be out of that unrequited love-the love I knew I would never get back.

We graduated from ABU, but surprisingly_instead of that to be the beginning of ease_it was the became the beginning of another hardship. The beginning of numerous things to be unravelled. Malik confessed his love to me_which I rejected without a second thought-for you were the only one I want. And also, Umma accused me of being his whore, and Fareeha being the one instigating me on whoreship. She uttered words that were so heavy to my ears that I had to black out_and upon gaining back consciousness-we came back home only to meet Abba's broken face and Hamma Tahir's infuriated face. They were being told that I was pregnant-and after that_I've made numerous abortions.

I lost my sanity on that day. I began to question my existence. That why am I even alive? Why do I have to experience all the bitter side of life? Was it all because I was created like this? Abba wasn't willing to give me a listening ear, he didn't even looked at me. That made me asked the question that had been gnawing at me for the whole 22 years of my life. Is Umma really my biological mother?" She had to stop, in other to sink in the emotions that were flared up-for them to be taken back to their hidden places.

Adyan's hands were placed on the table between them, and he was supporting his crying face with both palms. He was just staring deeply into her; hoping to see a single piece that wasn't broken in her_so he could have a string to pull when mending her up.

She cleared her tears; as the thought of the mysterious Rukayya crossed her mind. She was to keep this to herself_though she still didn't know who Rukayya is_she feels the urge to keep her story as a treasure. But a part in her kept urging her to tell him, and so she opened her mouth_yet again.

"From what Umma told me; the story wasn't related to me nor my siblings_but I just feel the urge to not omit a single part of my life to you. And here it is_the story of the mysterious Rukayya."