Chapter 47: Chapter 47

She looked at him; and he motioned for her to continue. Hayfah gulped down the chord of bitterness she felt in her throat; as her childhood memories came back to her in a rush.

"I was born on the 5th of January 1996_from the day I was born_I could tell the womb that gave birth to me was never meant for me to be happy. I grew up in a wretched family, my father being a vegetables seller didn't help with my mother's unending needs that she knew were clearly beyond his earnings.

Since when I was 4; I would be beaten mercilessly for being hungry or sleepy when it's not time for either of the two. My two siblings being the people I was to look up to_where more like monsters to me. I was a lonely and broken child. My voice gained me the hatred that was never meant for me, the hatred that one could only hear or see from dreams or tales. A hatred from my family.

I grew up with Abba being my only source of solace and happiness. I would only see when other children will have sweets and food on plates_while mine was beatings and food on the floor. The whole children of my compound doesn't play nor talk with me, for I was known to be the girl with the husky voice. The girl every one sabotage, the girl everyone was free to humiliate and harass, and the girl that isn't loved by her family.

I was five but still couldn't get the privileged to get into a school; my mother was the queen of the house_and everyone does whatever she wants. I would always cry my self to sleep_with the slashs of Umma's cane painfully itching on my back. Even before I knew what praying is; it's importance and will power of taking one's pain_I knew how to wake up in the middle of night and prostrate to Allah_crying my eyes out to him-not caring wether I was pure and performed ablution or not. All I wanted was for my broken heart to be healed, my mother to love me and always give me food without beating me, and Abba to get me admitted into a school.

On a faithful Monday; Abba take me to a government school in our area_he became mum to Umma's yellings about taking me to school; and added more salt to the wound by taking Addah Amna along. Life wasn't same from then, I would always go to with an empty stomach and loads of chores to do before even going. I was always the late comer, and that always got me caned.

I was used to working morning evening and night; and couldn't even have time for my studies_all that matters to me was Umma, how would I please her? How would I make her smile to me like she smile to my other siblings? When will she ever utter a nice word to me?" At this point, Hayfah had to stop and cleared her tears, they were tears that only her could understand the pain beneath them, and the questions she uttered last were still unanswered.

Adyan was just staring at her, was that the childhood she lived? He wasn't seeing her anymore_all he could see was a broken figure plated in beauty_she was indeed strong.

Hayfah looked at how terrified he looked; looking at her with dilated eyes as if he saw a dinosaur-not her. She cleared her tears; but she knew they would never stop cascading_that made her curved a smile that tore Adyan's heart into pieces. She could still smile?

"I became used to hatred and harassment_I became an introvert by force_for I was afraid of talking in my own home; talkless of school or our compound. I was in primary five then, while Addah was already in Jss2. Those memories were the memories that hurt more, they were the memories that scorched me and moulded me into what I am today. In some aspect; they made me weak and easily emotional, whilst in some_they braced me for the worst life has in store for me.

It was the time for my entrance exams to Jss1, and we have to pay the sum of 1500 for the exams. That was a huge amount to my wrecked and sick father. What we didn't know was that_Abba was suffering from a severe heart problem; his heart was due to fail. I didn't know what to do, I became the most busiest young girl in my area. I take care of Abba and at the same time goes to school. Umma would only give Abba food when she feels like_for he was always at home and couldn't even move a finger.

I became responsible for my father's medicine and also striving to make ends meet so I could pay for my entrance exams before it's too late. It came to the point that I had to do dishes to the woman selling food in our area before I could get the money to buy Abba his medicine. Even in the woman's stall; I couldn't evade from people's humiliations. It was a hard blow as a child.

On our rescue; Abba's friend came on a Wednesday evening and met us crying in Abba's grumbled room. He took us to the hospital and paid for his medications and also paid for my exams. He gave money that could atleast last us a month with Abba before he promised to come back; but sadly_he was never back. Umma came to know about Abba's visit; and what she said would forever be embedded in my heart, and I qouted 'Talhah, it's better you stop rising your hopes high on this girl, she will never be succesful_for hardship will forever be in her life, she will be miserable till her last breathe!' That made the me questioned myself without uttering the words out; is Umma really my mother?" She was just staring into space, her heart was constricting with pain_the pain she had long wished to bury depths beneath her soul-but upon his words; she choosed to feel the pain again and unravel the mystery behind Hayfah Talhah Muhammad.

She knew she couldn't continue at that point, she knew she might get an attack if she force herself to utter the moments that broke her completely_the moments she wouldn't trade the world for. She was broken; but also those moments moulded her into this façade she is.

Adyan looked at her; he doesn't even want to imagine the pain bubbling in her heart_for he knew it would be like a fire set ablaze in a wooden forest: he was sure it would burn it and there wouldn't be a single wood in it. That was how exactly how he imagined Hayfah's heart to be.

"Can we leave the rest for tomorrow? Or are you so eager to know the answer to your questions?" She asked with a drained voice_a voice that screamed pain, agony and melancholy!

Adyan palmed his face and that was when he realized he was crying along with her. He wished he didn't asked those questions_for he was sure they brought back the memories she choosed to bury long ago.

How would he face her now? Knowing that even the façade of Hayfah Talhah Muhammad was broken?!

"I'm sorry for ever doubting you, I love you." And he stood up to leave; he was curious to know the rest of her story_but he too needs to nurture his broken heart-for his heart nearly shattered upon hearing her heart detrimenting story.

She stood up too_and kept tumbling on her feet before she halted him with her voice that was capable of rifting his heart apart. "This should be between us; please." She walked away before he could even answer.

Adyan looked at her retreating back and painfully shook his head; he has never hide anything for his Sorella_but he will surely take this story to his grave. He walked out of the house and drove to their house_his heart was in shambles; all he needs was to be in the confides of his room. He needed to voice it out_he surely needs to pray for Hayfah-she needs to prayed for.

***

Hayfah spent her whole night crying in her sujood; she couldn't even sleep in her room; rather, Rayhan's. Rayhan got tired of her to finish praying and talk, but Hayfah would only stop when her limbs got weak. She knew, Allah is sufficient for her, and he alone knows how to heal her broken heart.

She looked more like a zombie in the morning. Visible bags under her eyes, empty and died orbs with a stony heart. She was walking sluggishly that Maami had to ask her what was the problem, but she only smiled and shook her head.

Amna bid the whole family adieu before they dropped her off at the park. Hayfah gave her the last cash she has in her; eventhough Maami gave her gifts and money_but she knew she would still complain that she doesn't give her anything. Hence, she gave her.

They dropped Rayhan and Hayfah was dropped at the company. She saw Adyan's car the first thing when she entered the compound. Her heart twinged, knowing she has to unravel the rest of her life today_Allah is her strength, and she knew he would always be there for her.

Briskly saying her pleasantries with Muntasra; she entered the elavator and was taken to their floor. She let out a hot breathe and turned the door knob before entering the office with trudgy steps.

She was glad that the office was empty, she dropped her handbag and sat on the seat_but a paper caught her attention. She opened it and read out the contents loud_for in her heart-there wasn't a void space that she could read it internally.

~Good morning, Tesoro. I love you. Please forgive me.~

Her lips began forming into the beginning of a smile, though it didn't reached her heart; but she was glad her heart twiched upon this letter-for that shows it isn't died yet.

She knew how remorseful Adyan could be; she still not forgive him_but she will surely answer his questions with a pure heart. She was just staring into space; scuppering her past life in her mind; some moments made her smiled painfully, some made tears gushed out of her eyes.

Slowly, she heard his door knob being turned, and a distraughted Adyan walked out of the door_his gaze unshaken on her face. Even though being shattered; Adyan was amused as how calm and decent she looked.

"Good morning, Sir," she greeted and stood up, trying so hard to act all formal with him_for this will be the end of everything.

He drew back the chair infront of her desk and sat down_before he beckoned for her to do same. She did; and Adyan's stare was unshaken on her face, and that made her uncomfortable.

"Do you need something, Sir?" She asked again, doing all it takes to avoid an eye contact with him.

"Drop the formality, Hayfah. How are you?" He knew the questions was kind of stupid of him to ask-for she's clearly not fine.

"I'm fine-with Allah by my side." And she smiled warmly_just the thought of Allah being with her warms up her heart.

He opened his mouth to talk but she cut him off, "I know what brought you here, you want to hear the rest of the story huh? Why procrastinating then? I was the one that promised to tell you_so just listen," she spoke calmy, but Adyan could sense a spark from her voice_he knew she was fighting with different emotions in her heart.

Before he could talk, she yawed her gaze to an empty space of the room before she spoke, "Successfully, I was admitted into Jss1; but it would be better if I rephrase my sentence to unfortunately-for that opened a bitter phase of my life."