Chapter 9: Chapter 9

The truth was that, here, no one was to hurt for long. This place would break your heart, mesh it and expect you to mend yourself quickly. It always seemed simple but in actual sense, it was hard.

The day was abnormally quiet after most people left for church. I could hear the disrespectful sound of a generator in the backyard but it seemed low. I decided to play music. I was not really a fan of quiet environments.

Chris Brown's voice filled the room as 'Love more' began to play. I pulled my sweater and danced in front of the mirror, imitating a singer on stage.

Another song came on after and I performed to that and the third song till I got exhausted.

I grabbed my phone and went through my contacts. I wanted to call someone. I had run out of things to do with myself and I needed company. I would have called Nellie but the urge to call her was not as strong.

Hunger started to announce itself. I had noticed it but I did not know how to quench it so I ignored it. But it came speaking again in louder voices so I went to the kitchen.

Looking through my cupboard at the packs of cereals, pasta, Semovita and noodles, I realized I did not have the will to cook. I opened the container of rice and stared at it for a while before going to the beans. The container of beans was where my fortunate prisoners lived, devouring my foodstuff. So many times in the past, I had been tempted to spray an insecticide in that container. That day, I gave into the temptation.

After spraying the insecticide on the last batch of beans I owned, I closed the lid. Knowing that no beetle would survive, I felt fulfilled. I would not miss the beans; I hardly ate it.

After eating the pepper soup noodles I prepared because I was impatient, I carried the bucket of beans and disposed of it in the bush opposite the lodge.

Solitude could be a gift and a curse all at once. I had to appreciate it at times and other times, I could not help dreading it. My order was sleeping, watching a movie, reading just a chapter of one of the eBooks Nellie sent to me, then sleeping again.

In my boredom, out of curiosity and even though with a misplaced sense of righteousness, I visited a lesbian pornsite.

When I had watched two women touching and tribbing - I felt aroused but I did not want to try it. It was then I knew for sure that what I told Linda was the truth.

A call came in, while I was still on the site. I exited and shut down my laptop before picking the call like the person could have seen what I was upto.

The caller happened to be Tony. I still let him introduce himself after I recognized his voice.

"I did not know when was a good time to call you so I just called anyway."

With my fingers in my mouth, I nodded. He could not see me but I said nothing more.

"I do not know if you will be busy around this time, I want to take you out."

" To where?" I asked.

" Do you have somewhere you love to go to?"

I had somewhere I loved to go to. It was a private lounge structured to be like a ship. But it was I and Nellie's spot so I did not choose it.

"Wherever you choose is fine by me," I said.

Is it because I told him that wherever would be fine with me that I landed in a bar around six pm?

Why did I not say anything anyway?

I wanted to wear a gown to impress but I later decided I did not want to impress and I wore a Chinos trouser with a round neck t-shirt. It was like he too decided not to 'send my daddy' and instead of one of the affordable fancy restaurants in town, he brought me to a bar.

The night was still young but the place was full. The smell of cigarettes and womanizing filled the air. I wished I was there with Nellie; there were lots of things to talk about in the bar.

Tony held my hand and led me out of the back door where we were met with fewer people around a pool. Some people used the tables, others sat at the edge of the pool while others showcased their swimming expertise in the water - I envied them.

We passed lots of empty tables but kept going till Tony found a table close to the kitchen or whatever that place was. It was where they did the barbecue, suya, pepper soup, Nkwobi and dried meat.

He wiped his face and dabbed his neck with a brown face towel. He could have noticed I was also sweating and he dabbed above my lips and my forehead. I smiled in appreciation. I hoped it was a clean towel.

"What would you like to take?" he asked, refolding his towel.

Like someone that did not have a preference, I said, "anything."

He leaned back and stared at me. "There's nothing like, 'anything' here. You have to choose something else."

" Alright," I said. " Some Suya and yoghurt."

Standing up he said, "Right away, Madame."

"Hold on," I said, bringing out money from my pocket. " Let me help with the bills."

His face went from confusion to shock then amusement. He laughed and walked away.

Tight-lipped, I nodded. Nellie had always said my first date might be weird because she described me as a socially awkward person. But what was funny about handling part of the bills on a date?

So there I was after being monosyllabic to him, after saying I was a very busy person and acting like he asked me to shave half of my hair for him - I was at the side of a pool waiting for him to place our order.

After all of the times I had talked about my first date, I never imagined this scenario. It was not a romantic one or anything special. It was just there like where you bring a woman that is not worth your money.

In the past, I would have told Nellie knowing she would be so happy but I was there all alone and if anything happened to me, my mother would not have who to find out my whereabouts from.

Girls wore sexy, beautiful pant suits to swim. They were all couples. I imagined doing it with someone. Maybe with Maka. She knew how to swim. I did not.

Tony started walking back with a tray. I looked at him for a while then I turned back to those around the pool. It seemed like it was somebody's birthday. The DJ gave a shout out to the celebrant and began playing a number for the person.

"Madam, your order is here," Tony said as he lowered the tray to the table.

He took his pepper soup and 'Life' from the tray and passed the tray to me. My suya was there with a plate of dried meat and Yoghurt.

"Thank you," I said.

He was already battling with 'ponmo' in his mouth so he just nodded.

"Have you been here before?" he asked as we ate.

" No."

He seemed shocked. " There's no student around here that has not been here."

" I don't like these kinds of places. It's too crowded and too noisy," I replied.

He stopped eating and looked around the place like he had not noticed any of the things I said before. He turned back to me. "It's this way because it's Sunday."

I nodded and stuck a toothpick into my Suya.

" You should have said something though. We might have found somewhere okay."

" It's fine," I dismissively said.

Dimming his eyes with a smile, he said, "When a woman says, 'it's fine' it's normally scary."

I shrugged. "Pepper soup is best hot."

He laughed and resumed eating but kept looking up at me at intervals. Even though I was bent eating my Suya, I knew when he fixed his eyes on me. Why did he have to stare so hard to see my beauty that he had been unable to see since we met?

"I don't know what is going through your mind," Tony confessed after a while.

I was amused. " Are you supposed to?"

"Yeah," he said, washing his hand with bottled water. "You meet someone once or twice, you should be able to talk about the person but I can not talk about you."

I rolled my eyes. I was getting bored. I was not an exam so no one would require him to talk about me with much details. Was this what people did on dates? They talk like they are reading a poem and make unrealistic insinuations?

"Let me greet some people," he said, rising from his seat. I nodded and took a piece of meat into my mouth while watching him walk towards another table filled with guys. I could see the rise of flames surrounding the table from where I sat.

Tony did not return immediately. He got lost in the conversation with his guys and easily forgot about me. I always knew there was nothing spectacular about me. I was easily forgettable, especially where one was looking for boobs, ass or a fine face.

I felt so little, so out of place but I pardoned it and waited some more. He was still there laughing and I hoped he would wake up without teeth the next day.

He half ran and half walked back to the table. I stared at him and waited for his explanation.

"Babe, do you want us to move to their table? It's one of my guy's birthday."

gods of my ancestors.

I pointed at myself and looked sideways. It could not be me he was talking to.

"Take me home and continue with your guys," I said.

He made a sound with his mouth and fell into a seat. "Kassy, it's my guy's birthday. We would just chill with them for a while then lodge here."

" I'm already irritated," I said.

"If it's something I did, I'm sorry."

I nodded and stood up. I came with no purse or bag but just my money in my trouser pocket.

"Kassy, I'm sorry." he said, following as I walked down the path we came in from.

"I'm not angry with you."

I was angry with myself. What was I doing there anyway, what was I doing with him?

It was getting to ten o'clock and the streets were still alive. People moved about even more than they did in the daytime. I stood by the roadside with Tony beside me. He had stopped apologizing and just stood two feet apart from me like a bodyguard.

Bikes rode past us but they were all carrying people. There were a few people like me that stood on the roadside.

Tony moved closer to me. "We would have to move up a bit to get an empty bike."

I nodded without moving.

" Or we can lodge here. In the morning you go."

I eyed him. "I don't have sex to give you," I said and began walking.

He sighed. " I did not request for that."

We found an empty bike just before the hotel and I hopped in. He waved but I just stared at him as the bike began to move.