Chapter 39: Chapter 39

I could have fallen asleep there, because I felt so calm with him. I thought that after today, he would make me want to jump out of my skin, but to my surprise, he was nice. I hadn't noticed this before, but he had a soft side that I hadn't seen before. He was especially soft tonight.

When I'd had enough, he let me go. I shook my head and went back to my room. After taking off my pinnie, I went to get some warm clothes to change into and then shuffled to the bathroom. I took off my swimsuit in the shower so the chlorine could get washed away.

I tried to act like it didn't happen, but it didn't work out very well. It made me sad while I was in the shower, so I turned up the heat to drown it out. After I dried off and got dressed, I left the bathroom wearing fluffy socks, a long-sleeved shirt, and sweatpants.

I was surprised that it was already so late, but I had gotten home after seven, talked to Kent for an hour, and been in the shower for almost thirty minutes, so I shouldn't have been too surprised. I shuffle back across the floor and sit on the other end of the couch, taking a deep breath. I tried not to think about it. Kent is watching some football game, and I'm acting like I'm really into it to keep my mind off of it.

"Julianna?" When I hear something, it snaps me out of my thoughts. "Hmm?" I ask. "I told you, 'You're really into the game, aren't you?'"

"No, I don't know anything about football," she said. I have to stop myself from biting my hangnails by taking my hand away from my mouth. "Explain it," I mumble as I pull my hair away from my face and my eyes start to hurt.

"Well, there are two teams, and the one in red is on offense, so they're trying to get the ball to the other end of the field. The team in blue is on defense, and they are trying to stop the red team from scoring. He says something, and I nod as a tear rolls down my cheek. "Julianna, we don't need to watch this-"

"Keep talking." I'm stubborn, and he sighs. "Who are the two teams?"

"Blue is for Dallas, and red is for Kansas City." He says something, and I nod, like it doesn't mean anything to me, but it does help to hear him talk. "If you don't want to, you don't have to sit all the way down there." He says more, and when I look at him, he looks so sad for me and like he doesn't know what to do about how different I am from myself.

I move over to sit next to him on the couch, and he pulls me into his side and puts his arm around my shoulders.

"Why are you treating me so well?" When I mumble, he sighs and puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Listen, I know we haven't always gotten along, but I'm not all bad." I nod when he brings it up. "Julianna, as a fellow person, I know you're in a lot of pain, and I want to help." He says very softly. "I haven't been a good friend or person to you, and I don't know if I can make that up to you, but I want to try."

I didn't ask him any more questions because I could only focus on one thing at a time, and Kent finally being nice to me wasn't my most important problem right then.

He let me lean against his shoulder while we watched TV together for a while. I probably should call my parents, but if I do, they'll come get me, and then I'd have to leave Kent, who has already helped me so much. I'll give them a call tomorrow.

"I might try to go to bed," she said. I mumble, and he just nods. "I want to get some sleep."

"You sure you'll be okay?"

"Yeah." I sigh and get up. As I walk down the hall, he turns off the TV and follows me.

"I'll leave my door open so you can come find me if you need something." I give a quiet nod and lean against my door frame with my arms crossed.

"Night." I speak quietly, and he nods.

"Sleep well, Julianna." He tells me with a smile that makes me feel better. I get into bed and try to calm down. I just felt tense and stiff, and my heart was beating like crazy. I couldn't calm down enough to fall asleep on my own.

I've been trying to sleep while lying in the dark for what seems like hours, but every time I close my eyes, I see the same thing. I hear the sounds, feel my heart break, and then I roll over to try again.

As I lay in the dark, new tears roll down my cheeks. Some of them are from anger, and some are from sadness. What was so hard about this?

I sniffle and wipe my cheeks, but I don't think about it. I just get out of bed and walk across the wood floor to his room. I've never been so desperate to be near him before, and I don't think I've ever gone to his room like this. I was always afraid of what he would say if I got too close to him.

He was fast asleep and softly snoring, and I was a little bit envious. I also felt bad because I had to get him out of bed.

I go to the edge of his bed and, with trepidation, shake his shoulder with my hand. After a few seconds, he wakes up and looks at me like he doesn't know what to do.

"I-I apologize." I whisper as I lick my lips and feel ashamed. My cheeks hurt, and the tears just kept coming.

"Come lay down here." He whispers back, stumbling over groggily, and I do the same. I can't believe how easily I get into his bed. I can't believe how fast I'm getting to him and how little my mind is stopping me. I never even looked at Kent without first thinking, but now I was quick to agree and do what my heart wanted instead of what my mind wanted.

He rolls over onto his back, and I try to stop crying by taking a deep breath. I move closer and put my arms around his chest, pressing my cheek into his t-shirt. He wraps his arms around me easily, and his hand moves around my back in calm circles.

"It's fine, just breathe deeply." He whispers into my hair, and I start to sniffle. "I'm here."

He had just woken up, so his voice was raspy, but it was soothing. I felt less alone and less scared because of everything that was going on. I thought less of him than I should have, which was a mistake.