Chapter 34: Chapter 34

033

No one ever said it would this hard

"Where have you been?"

I bent down to fix Gem's collar dress as she approached me. "We've been looking for you. Look at your shoe tie!" I said, also fixing it.

"We will be late for our flight," I added.

Gem sadly looked at me as she breathed heavily. She drank a bit of water from her tumbler.

"Did you run?" Var took out his handkerchief and wiped Gem's sweat. He tucked the loosen hair behind Gem's ears.

"Sorry, I was looking for granny," Gem answered. "I wanted to say goodbye to her but I couldn't find her."

"Maybe she's busy. Let's do it sometimes -- " Gem pulled her hand away from me.

"I know it's not going to happen. We are not going back here, right?" She turned to us, confirming what she was thinking.

"We can go--" She didn't let me finish my lie because she knew it's a lie.

There's no reason for us to go back here. After all these years, I still hate it here. Yeah, it's an old grudge against my family and I have proven them wrong but the pain that this place and the people who build this place is too much for me. They ruined me and I had to get back on my feet without them. There is no way I am letting them near Gem. Loud will never like it, either.

"No, you are lying! You hate this place!" She stated. "The only reason you are here is because of me. You have no choice." She crossed her arms and pouted. I hate when she's having tantrums.

"Do you really want to say goodbye to your grandmother?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Okay, I think I know where to find her," I held her hand.

"I'll wait outside," Var said. "Be a good girl and control your mouth!" He caressed Gem's hair and they both laughed.

We walked to the elevator. I pressed the seventh button and we waited until it stopped. When the elevator door opened, Gem's eyes widened in surprise as she looked around the seventh floor. It's not a hospital floor. It is more like a condominium unit floor.

"Oh, where is this mother?" She tilted her head as she surveyed the place. "Are we still inside the hospital?"

"This is the seventh floor and your grandmother's home. This is also where Uncle Gabriel lived," I explained.

"Home?" She jutted her bottom lip. "They lived in a hospital?"

"Doctors are busy."

"Then, it means Dr. Elarde is always busy, too?" She glanced at me. "He won't have time for me."

I paused.

"Uhm...I am sure he will find time for you," I assured her, though I really don't know how Loud will handle the situation. We never talked about parenting after he met Gem.

"It's okay. Daddy Var is with me," she plainly replied.

I stopped her from walking, bent myself a little to glare at her eyes. "Diemllana, what did I tell you about your Daddy? You are being stubborn again!"

"Mom, it's true. If he is busy, I have Daddy Var and that's okay. And," she sighed as she bit her lower lip. "I am trying, Mom. But how could I know him if he's not gonna spend time with me?"

I was supposed to say something when we both froze on our spot as we heard my mother's angry voice in the hallway. It was so loud that I could feel the veins showing in her face even though I cannot see her behind the walls.

"You killed him?"

"No...M-mom..."

Gwen? That's Gwen's voice. She's crying and what? She killed someone? What is she even doing here? I heard she was abroad managing our company instead of pursuing medicine. Oh. I am not really sure. I never cared about her. She's a bitch.

"I DIDN'T KILL HIM!" She raised her voice although it broke. She was crying heavily and her breathing wasn't stable. She heaved like a dog.

"I was frame-up!" She added.

"Why did you go there in the first place?" My mother was irritated, angry, well, all negative emotions you could think of, that's how her energy is vibrating towards us that I had to pull away Gem.

"I told you to stop seeing that guy!"

"They're fighting!" She said in a low tone.

"Let's just go back," I whispered to her.

"He was dead when I arrived! I-I swear..." Gwen cried. "I just want to s-save him and then it all happened. They framed me! I didn't kill him!"

I cursed at myself when Gem dropped her tumbler and a loud bang of metal echoed in the hallway. She apologetically bowed down her head and immediately picked up the tumbler. I couldn't blame her. I wasn't even expecting to hear something I should be listening to.

However, it was too late for us to run. Where would we even hide?

"Who's there?" Gwen walked towards us. "What the--" She scowled upon seeing me. "What are you doing here, bitch? You listening to our con--"

"My mother is not a bitch!" Gem reacted. "You are a bitch!"

"Gem..." I stopped her and hid her behind my back.

"I am really sorry. We didn't mean to," I sincerely apologized, not to Gem, but to my mother, who was confused and a bit surprised upon seeing us in this place she called home. It wasn't home. It was their home and I just invaded their privacy. Now, I know something I don't want to know.

"Who the hell are you?" Gwen glanced at my daughter. "Oh, you have a daughter. She looks like you."

"Is that an insult?" I glared at Gem. I would probably let it go if it's just me but Gem? How dare she! She didn't even know Gem. Although, Gem is right. She's a bitch. Kids don't really lie.

"Oh, since when did I compliment you?" She groaned. She was supposed to be crying and I was supposed to take pity but looking at her now, I somehow believe she deserves what she's going through.

"You weren't supposed to be here! Go away!" She was supposed to pull my hair when my mother caught her arms.

"Enough with that, Gwenleah." My mother's voice wasn't loud, but it was clear and full of authority like when she asked me to do a certain thing and a no for an answer will not be accepted.

"Are you seriously starting a fight in front of a kid?" My mother harshly let go of Gwen's arm which made her bump into the wall. It made her even mad at me as she held onto his arms.

"You started a fight again after what happened? Now, I am starting to believe you can really kill him!" My mother's face wrinkled. She closed her fist, and gave herself ample seconds to breathe.

"Get out of here! I don't want to see your face!"

"But, Mom!" Gwen protested. "I need you!" She started crying again. Oh, she's really good at changing emotions and I always commended her since we were kids. She can make our mother believe that I started the fight when she was always the one who picked a fight.

"You didn't listen to me. Why would I help you?"

I covered Gem's ears and ordered her to slowly walk. I don't want to be caught in the middle. I shouldn't be here. Damn! Gem wasn't supposed to see this kind of scene.

"I am your daughter!" She pleaded and was so close to kneeling but no...she wouldn't do that. She's taking care of her pride.

"You stopped being my daughter when you did not listen to me!"

"That's unfair!" Gwen shouted. "How about Gab?"

Okay. I just said I don't want to be caught but ugh! I really hate her. Why is she including me in the conversation when it's her.

I ignored her and started walking a bit faster but Gem stopped me.

"We need to get out of here," I whispered to her.

"You need to help her."

"You bitch! I am not yet done with you!" Gwen shouted.

I sighed.

"What?" I yelled back as I frustratingly glared at her. "Why do you have to include me? I am not the one at fault here---"

"How about her?" Gwen repeated as she angrily pointed at me. "S-she defied you. She ran away from home. She left you. She even chose her lover instead of us. She was the reason why Gabriel lost his license. But what, mom?" Gwen continued sobbing.

"Gem, go down. Find your Daddy Var," I told her but she clung to me and hid her face behind my back.

"I-I will not leave you," Gem whispered and tightened her grip on my waist.

"What, mom? You can't even let her go. You still check her and make sure that she is still living. You still see her as your daughter and you even allowed her lover to stay in our hospital. You trained him...and now...you want to help her daughter?"

The tears streamed down Gem's face and for the first time, I felt pity, to the point I thought of hugging her but no...that's not us...and she would probably hate that I felt pity for her.

"You know why?" My mother asked her before turning to me. "Because she proved me wrong. She became a lawyer when I told her that she wouldn't be one..."

I bit my lower lip and bowed down. Damn! I am crying.

"She proved to me that she can do it without my help and she did it. She did it no matter how I tried to ruin her life to prove that she cannot live without us but she did!" Mother heaved. Her shoulder thrust up and down and her voice suddenly broke when she added, "She made me proud when I told her I would never be proud of her because she ran from us."

It was my time to break down. I tried hard to silence my sobs but I couldn't. It was my first time hearing from my mother that all I wanted was to give her a hug.

"And...you?" Mother scowled at Gwen. "You have everything you need. You have all the support you can get. All you have to do is be a better one...but what? What did you do in return? Do you want me to name everything you've done wrong?"

Gwen tilted her head down and stared at me from her eyebrows as she harshly wiped her tears.

"Are you happy now?" She asked and ran inside her room.

There was deafening silence until Gem spoke. "I'm sorry, we didn't mean to."

She bowed down. "Come, Mommy. We need to go home."

Gem held my hand and smiled at me. She tip-toed to reach my face and wiped the liquid flowing from my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I bowed down to my mother. "We'll see you next time."

Gem waved at my mother and I never got to see her expression. I was afraid that what I heard was a lie, especially that my mother is very good at hiding her emotions.

"Will you help her?" Gem asked me as we walked out of the elevator. I already calmed myself and honestly...I felt relieved to hear it from my mother. I never expected to hear it like that but yeah it made me feel fulfilled. Somehow, the torns she had planted in my heart was slowly falling.

"She doesn't want my help," I told Gem. "I'm sorry you have to hear that."

"It's okay, mommy. But help her, will you?" She pleaded. "She's a bitch but she is still your sister and she needs your help."

"She will not ask--"

"But if she asks, promise me you will help her..." Gem raised her little finger onto me. "Swear!"

I nodded and locked her little finger with mine. "Promise."

Although, I know that my sister will never ask for my help especially after hearing that from my mother.

"Hey," Gabriel approached us. "I thought you had already headed home." He bent down to bump his fist on Gem's fist. "How's my favorite niece?"

"I am your favorite because I am your only niece," Gem pouted.

Gabriel chuckled. "You got me. Oh, wait...did you cry?" Gabriel turned to me.

"It's a long story but it's tears of joy, right Mommy?" Gem winked.

"Yeah!" I nodded. "We'll see you soon. Say your goodbye to your Uncle!"

Gem kissed Gabriel's cheeks and hugged him. "I am going to miss you, Uncle."

"Call me, okay? Did you already say your goodbye to your Daddy Loud?" He confirmed.

"Uh, I didn't see him," Gem brushed her hair. "Is he busy?"

"Who said I'm busy?"

We both turned around. Loud was standing, smiling, wearing his Harry Potter glasses, and instead of his usual messy hair, he tied his fringe like a pineapple.

"Hi," Gem awkwardly greeted him. "Why are you not wearing your white coat?" She noticed.

Loud was wearing normal clothes, when I say normal clothes, normal human clothes. I mean, it's my first time seeing him wear clothes aside from his white coat and his scrubs. I almost forgot how good he is with just white shirts and jogger pants.

"I am coming with you!" He rolled out his luggage in front of us, not removing his glowing smile. He even winked like it was the best idea ever. IT IS NOT!

"What?" Gem and I both reacted.

"What do you mean by that?" I blinked.

"I decided to stay in Cebu so I can be with you..." He simply replied.

"You are going to live with us?" Gem unbelievably stared at him.

"Do you want me to live with you?"

"Honestly," Gem apologetically smiled. "No. I still don't know you so you can't leave us. You can look for another place."

Instead of being hurt, Loud just laughed at his daughter. "I know, honey. I already found a place to---"

"Wait," I stopped him. "Staying with us means you are living in this hospital!" I widened my eyes in disbelief and almost wanted to punch him in the face when he nodded.

"Do you know what it means?"

"I can spend a lot of time with my daughter?" He innocently asked.

Ugh! Here I am again. Hating every bit of Loud because he's just...ugh...nevermind!

"I can't believe you..." I eyed him.

"I decided to continue my residency in Cebu. You have your hospital there and --"

"What? Who's going to train you?" I reacted, not letting him finish what he's saying because I hate every words that going out of his mouth.

"Father will train him. He's the head of surgery in there--"

I stopped Gabriel. "You know this?"

He bit his lower lip and made a peace sign.

"You cannot train under father!" I brushed my hair in frustration. "He's a neurosurgeon!"

"Gerald is there," Gabriel said pertaining to our older brother.

"Really? Gabriel? He's a neurosurgeon! I thought you wanted to become a cardiothoracic surgeon! Why are you suddenly going to a hospital full of neurosurgeons!"

"Okay...okay!" Loud laughingly placed his hands on my shoulder. I pulled myself away when I felt a sudden bolt.

"You are crazy!"

"Don't worry, sister!" Gabriel placed his arms on my shoulder. "I'll be there in a few weeks."

"What do you mean?"

He whispered. "Mother wants me to become the head of cardiothoracic surgery there. So, he'll still learn from the best."

I sighed with relief. That's good to hear. I didn't sacrifice everything for him to ruin it. However, I appreciate what he did to be with his daughter.

"Hmmm..." Gem frowned. "That's good to hear. But, will it make any difference?"

We all turned to her. She curled her hair with her fingers and wagged her head making us feel she doesn't like the situation.

"If you start living in our city, are we going to be a completely happy family?"

My daughter has a habit of making me speechless and I have to commend Loud for that. He used to make my jaw drop with his decisions and even his mere words.

"Well... " Loud glanced at me asking for help, but what could I say? I don't know. I never thought about it.

"See? You don't know, what's the point?" She crossed her arms. "Honestly, Dr. Elarde, I like you and I know you will be a great father to me and I would love to have two daddies because that's just amazing!" She smiled at the thought.

"But I would also love to have a man that will marry my mother," Gem glowed as she looked at me. I almost cried thinking how lucky I am to have her in my life.

"And, I am so sorry but I don't want it to be you..." She bowed down and I could feel Gem doesn't want to hurt Loud but she knew how to be honest. Glad, she learned to say her true feelings. I never wanted her to lie just like me.

"Why?" Loud said in a defeated voice.

"You make my mother sad."

Without further elaboration of her sentence, Gem passed by Loud to meet Var who was waiting at the front door.

What hurt Loud the most was when Gem held Var's hand and walked away from us.

"I'm sorry..." I muttered to myself. "I am so sorry, Loud."

Gabriel went ahead as he felt the atmosphere between us. My body couldn't move even though I want to get away from that place because I am terrified of the words Loud will throw upon me.

I am terrified because I know I have to lie again.

"Do I make you sad?" He confirmed, trying to make his voice strong.

"Let's just go--"

"The question is answerable by yes or no, Gabriella!" He raised her voice but eventually repeated it with surrender. "Do I make you sad?"

When I didn't answer, he changed the question, "Am I still your everglow?" He pulled me towards him and lifted my face. "Am I still your everglow?"

Through the years, I have perfected the act of lying that I could stare at his eyes as I say, "You are no longer my everglow."