Chapter 28: Chapter 28

027

And though you might be gone and the world may not know, still I see you, celestial

Lauyton Diem Israel Elarde's POV

"She didn't pass the bar examinations?"

Zee looked at me for a second before turning to the computer. She then pulled one of the patient's chart from the shelves and write something on it.

"She didn't take it," I replied.

"How did you know she didn't take it?" She confirmed.

"I know Gab and you know her, too. She's your best friend. She is going to pass the exam if she takes it this year. Supposedly, this is the year she should have taken the bar examination."

I calculated that. I even planned what I would do if she passed the exam because I clearly believe that she will pass it. I know her. So, it also means she didn't take the exam.

I don't know why. She left me and I have been asking myself the reason why she left.

Zee didn't say anything and just shrugged. She continued filing the chart while I watched her. I circled the medical penlight Gab gave me before. I missed her.

"Ugh. Why didn't she take it this year? Where is she? C'mon, spill it," I urged though I know she will never say it. I've been asking that for the last few years.

Zee closed the medical chart, stood up, before facing me again. "You are my friend Lauyton, but Gab is my best friend."

"I hate your best friend. She left me without saying anything."

There was a pain in my voice as I said that. It's been four years since the love of my life, my everglow, instantly vanished in my life without a word.

I mean, she left me a letter, but she didn't even say the reason why she did that. We were happy. Things were going well between us and I was actually going to propose. Damn! I don't know where she is.

I tried looking for her after she left but there was no trace of her. I searched everywhere and went to every town I could reach just to find her. I was so close to calling the police and filing a lost case though it was clear to me that she left on her own will.

Gab left a letter, a stethoscope, and a heart in a jar. I couldn't believe how she managed to give me something that makes me happy while breaking my heart.

I wasn't able to find her.

Zee didn't even know why she'd left. Missy was also surprised.

She's right. No one could tell me the reason why she left me. It is only Gab that could tell me why and I have been waiting for the day to see her.

Honestly, I almost gave up my dream of becoming a doctor when she left. I enrolled late for class and almost failed my subjects because I couldn't concentrate.

But I know Gab wouldn't like it and like she said the only way for me to see her again is when I become one of the best cardiothoracic surgeons. I am not even close yet. So does it mean I am never going to see her again?

Damn! I've been pressuring myself, trying to be the best, competing for the best, and sacrificing my sleep just so when she comes back she will be proud of me.

I want her to be proud of me because even if she'd left, she is still the person I want to share all my achievements in life with.

She is still my everglow even though I am no longer hers.

"Why are you still here? Didn't I tell you to check my patients?" Dr. Tan or Gabriel as I called him asked. He raised his brows while staring at me, ready to scold me any minute.

"Did Gabriella take the Bar Examination this year?" I asked him and ignored his gaze.

Honestly, I am no longer afraid of him. He's been a real brother to me even though he's an ass. Well, as a doctor he is really an ass. He was the reason why I had sleepless nights because he wants me to take all his patients while he's sleeping. Up until now, we are all competing to join him in his surgery. He's a pain in the ass though I've seen how good he is.

That may be the reason why her mother did everything to hide what happened to my mother years ago. It would be a waste for Gabriel to lose his medical career. He did get it though. The medical board finally gave his license back so he can now practice medicine.

I no longer have a say on that since three years was already long enough for him to suffer. I've seen how he tried his best to do good and did everything to make his mistakes right.

Of course, I always watched him. He knows that.

"Did you already do your rounds? How's my patients?"

"Did she take--"

"You know that I won't have answers for that, right?" He lifted his brows. "We've been talking about this for years. Stop asking me about Gabriella."

"Psh. Should I ask your mother about it?"

"Can you?"

I rolled my eyes and pouted. "I hate your sister!"

"If you hate her, just shut up and help me with this." Zee gave me the patient's chart. "I'm at Dr. Arellano's service tonight. Have fun with Dr. Tan." She stuck her tongue out.

I looked at Gabriel and asked again. "Are you not going to tell me where she is?"

Gabriel looked at me frustrated and a bit annoyed. He pulled the patient's chart from me and started walking to check the patients.

"Did we not talk about this? I don't know where she is. She called me but she never told me everything about her."

"Fine. Is she okay this week?"

Gabriel stopped and before opening the patient's room, he looked at me and nodded. "She's great."

I smiled. That's the only thing I want to know. I used to ask Gabriel that question every week even though he always tells me that Gab's okay. I doubt that. But it's the closest I can get to nothing.

It went on like that for another year. I asked Gabriel every week about Gab hoping that there would be a time he'll spill it which he never did. That's when I knew he never really had an idea where Gab.

To tell you, I am not mad at Gab. I wanted to. Why wouldn't you be mad if you were left alone without any explanation and you kept asking what is wrong with you. I don't even know if it was me, it was her, or the people around us. There are many factors that could be the reason why she left me. I am just hoping it's not because she doesn't love me anymore.

I have a reason on my mind and I guess it's pretty reasonable if it was because of her mother. I don't know. I never have the courage to ask her mother. Why would I ask her? I still hate her but slowly I am learning to forgive her because I knew she did for her child. Gabriel was so lucky that her mother got his back.

I could only wish it's the same with Gabriella.

Wherever she is, I am just praying she's happy.

And I am waiting for her to come see me. I will wait no matter how long it is.

For the record, I understood why she had to do it. I know why. And that is also the reason why I could never really hate her.

"Aae was looking for you," I told Zee as soon as I saw her lying in the on-call room. "Should I tell her that you are here?"

"I am sleeping," she plainly replied, which I often translated as she doesn't want to see Aae, his husband.

"Are you sure? He's been away for months," I added, trying to knock her conscience.

She pulled the blanket, covered her face, and turned my back on me. Okay, she really didn't want to see Aae. I felt sad for Aae because they are both stuck. I mean, Aae does love Zee but Zee never cared about Aae. They were arranged.

"Our marriage was fake." Zee blurted out.

"What? H-how? You are kidding, right? The world announced it," I asked, confused. It was even a grand wedding that was televised.

"Aae faked it because I don't want the marriage. Unfortunately, our parents knew about it and they wanted the real wedding."

"Oh..."

I no longer know how to react. Zee had been through a lot and I could see that her pain isn't half of what I am feeling. I'm still somewhat lucky.

"Btw, have you checked the results of the Bar Examination this year?" She breathed heavily.

"Is it already out?" I said, immediately opened my phone. "Did she pass?"

"She didn't pass," Zee said.

"What?" I stopped scrolling. "But she took it?"

"She just didn't pass. Gab topped the Bar Examination!" I felt the happiness and proudness in her voice.

For a second, it loads in my brain until I finally grasp it. I jumped and started screaming.

"Gosh! That's my babe!" I smiled, looking at my phone. "She's number three. Hell! Wow!"

I really couldn't find the words to describe her. I always knew she's amazing but I am still surprised at how she can manage to sweep my feet off.

"Wait, she graduated in Cebu?" I whispered to myself. "Oh. So that is where she was staying. Did you know that Zee? I went to Cebu but yeah of course it's a big place."

"Go and bother the interns," she sleepily said. "I want to sleep. Go away!" Zee yawned.

I was sleepy, too. But I could no longer feel the sleepiness in my cells. The news really got me excited because I finally knew where to find her. I bought tickets for their oath-taking ceremony and decided to show myself in front of her. I really can't wait to see and hug her.

I brought her some sunflowers I got from my backyard since I started planting it. She likes sunflowers a lot and I know she would love how fresh the sunflowers are from our backyard.

I planned and calculated everything. From the flowers and to the fine-dining restaurant where I would bring her after the oath-taking. It would be easy for me to find her because she's a topnotcher and people or the press would line up for an interview with her.

I have memorized and practiced the things I will tell her although there's no need because I would be speechless and I think I would kiss her right away. And, if that's a crime, then perhaps people will see me in jail because I will not regret it and would even do it over and over again.

Gosh! I am so excited. I missed her.

I imagined seeing her again and repeated the scene in my head a few times. I wasn't able to properly sleep the night of her oath-taking.

I went there ahead of time, carrying the flowers, waiting for her to arrive. Amidst the crowd, my heart would instantly spot her. I know every inch of her body that even with her back, I know it's Gab, my everglow.

That is why I didn't have a hard time finding her. I told you, I planned and calculated everything according to my expectations. Indeed, expectations are different from reality. I wasn't able to calculate the time that had passed between us.

I never thought of the things that could change because I didn't change. I am still the Loud she knew. I am still in love with her after all these years.

I focused on me, not thinking, not realizing, and not taking into account that Gab was no longer mine to begin with.

She left me. At first, it was hard to believe that she fell out of love, that she no longer loves me. I used to think it was because of her mother, that's why she left. And, I would still love to believe that because I would accept it that's the reason.

Until, I saw her holding someone else's arms just like she used to do with me. She was smiling and that's the smile that glows. It's the smile that reaches her monolid eyes.

What hurts the most is not the fact that she's with a guy. It's been a long time and deep down I know there's a possibility of her falling in love with someone else. What hurts is the fact that the guy she was holding now is the guy I used to be jealous of.

What killed me the most is the fact that it was Var Maquess.

I would accept it if it was another guy but Var? No. I used to be jealous of him because I felt how he is capable of making Gab fall in love with her. Seeing them together now, made it real. And I could only assume that Gab left me because of him.

Fuck! Friends? I shouldn't have believed in that.

I shouldn't believe in her.

I trust her.

And, now, I no longer know the truth.

I want to run in front of them, punch Var in the face, and beg for an explanation I clearly deserve from the very start. Instead, I silently wept as I walked away from that place. It's her day today as a lawyer and I would never ruin that for her even if she ruined me.

I guess it's time. I needed to see this.

I have been waiting so long and maybe this is the end?

I don't know. I am not prepared for this because I have never seen the end of us. I always have a bright light towards our path. I have never seen this coming. No matter how many times I say I am going to forget her...to move forward...I couldn't do it.

How am I supposed to do that when what ifs are killing me?

How am I supposed to do that when her mother always reminds me of her everytime I see her. How am I supposed to forget the reason why I am still standing?

I can...I just haven't learned why.

"Dr. Elarde! Suction!"

I was back to my senses when I heard her mother's voice.

"I'm sorry," I replied and focused on what I am doing. It's hard to do that's why I often avoided her presence but she kept on putting me in her service. Is she torturing me? She looks exactly as Gab.

"Why do you keep on doing that?" She angrily looked at me before turning back to the heart she's trying to save while I am trying to ruin it.

"You look exactly the same as her," I whispered enough for her to hear.

I saw how her expression changed for a second and then came back to the normal cold-hearted Head of Surgery.

"Should I remove you from my service?"

"No," I quickly replied. "I would love to be in your service."

I hate to admit it but she's great and I want to learn from her.

I hate a lot of things and I hate how I love them.

I hate how Gabriella left me without any explanation and I hate that I still wait for her.

I hate that I love her and I couldn't hate her.

And, even if years had already passed again since the last time I saw her with Var. I hate that I am hoping she will come back to me.

When I saw her walking inside their hospital, I assumed it was because of me. She finally found her way back to me because why would she go to the place she hated the most?

"Dr. Elarde!" The intern called me. "Dr. Arellano is looking --"

"Ask him why," I instantly replied as my eyes still followed Gab. "I'll be back. I need to do something urgent."

I slowly walked towards Gab. She was rushing. Her breathing was unsteady. She ran. She's sweating. Wait, why is she in a hurry?

"I'd like to know where Dra. Zamora is."

Gab gasped for air as she asked the nurse in the station. She wiped her sweat with her hands and continued to breathe.

"She's in the operating room," The nurse replied.

"How about Zack?" She raised her voice. "Zack Jersey Zendaya. I'd like to know what room number he's in."

Zack? Who's that? Wait...isn't that the pilot from the plane crash? She knew the guy? Yeah. Come to think of it, Zee also knew the guy.

"You can ask the nurses at the ICU station for that."

"Oh, okay. Thanks!"

She immediately ran towards the ICU station as I followed her. She wasn't focused on people around her and she almost bumped on them. Why is she in a hurry? Who is the guy?

He's only been admitted here yesterday because of a plane crash. He's in a coma and Zee's also acting weird because of the guy.

"Excuse me, Miss. I was told not to allow anyone inside his room unless you're a family."

The nurse stopped her from going inside the guy's room. She brushed her hair in frustration and I could feel her irritation.

"I'm his friend," Gab said. "I know him."

"Sorry, but we follow strict protocols. He's not allowed to have any visitors at the moment."

"I'm Gabriella," She cut her words mid-way.

"Gabriella?" The nurse asked, not really interested in her name. I'd bet the nurse would definitely take a bow if they knew that she's the daughter of the owner of this hospital

She heaved. "I'm Gabriella Wong-"

That's when I stopped her. I always knew that she never liked mentioning that she is the daughter of this hospital's owner. It's the least thing she would do unless it's the only choice.

Well, she had another choice. She has me right now.

"It's okay. I know her," I told the nurse.

The nurse nodded in respect and headed on her way.

I saw how her shoulder thrust up and down.

"Thanks," she said without turning her back.

Damn! I closed my fist and tried hard enough to stop myself from running to hug her. I missed her. And even if I had decided to forget about her, deep down, I don't want to. I still want her.

"Who is he?" I asked.

"He's someone important," she plainly replied.

"He must be a very important person for you to stand in the place you hated the most," My voice broke. I could sense jealousy in myself or hatred? It's a mixed emotions I no longer know how to handle.

"Indeed. He is a very important person," I felt her smile even though she had her back turn on me.

"I'll go ahead, Dr. Elarde."

It was my turn to smile because I've been longing to hear her voice calling me that. I couldn't have done it without her.

"Gabby," I sweetly called. "Can we still save us?"

I bit my lower lip.

My knees were trembling as she faced me.

Gabby...

I smiled at her. I was so happy to finally see her.

"You saved me, But I'm sorry, there was no longer us that needed saving."

She's in pain. She's lying to me.

"At least give me one logical explanation why you left me, Attorney," I told her.

"Loud..." She shook her head. "There's no reason."

I stood there hoping she'd changed her mind.

For the record, she never did.