Chapter 27: Chapter 27

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When it feels like the end of my world. When I should, but I can't, let you go?

"You resigned?" Var barged inside our office with my resignation letter on hand. He looked at me with disbelief. "Why the hell did you resign?"

"Since when did you become a staff of Human Resource Management?" I replied to him, not wanting to tell him the reason for my immediate resignation.

"Stop that!" He shoved my hand away from the files I was arranging. I only have weeks before my resignation will take effect. They told me I can't resign until I finish all my pending work. That's why I need to work faster.

"I found a new job!"

"You are lying!" Var rolled his eyes.

"What? Now you are not going to believe me? Why ask?"

"You just don't resign, Gabriella, unless you have a reason. So, what is it? What's the problem? Did Atty. Levi and my father are making your life harder. Should I--"

I waved my hand on his face. "I am fine, Var. Okay? I just need a less stressful job since my subjects for the next semester require long hours of studying."

"You can't lie to me, Gabriella. What happened between you and Loud? Did he make you cry?"

"No, we are fine."

"Pffft. Whatever! I am going to ask him - -"

"No!" I stopped him.

I sighed when he looked at me. He stared at me from head to toe. He placed his hands on his chin, thinking.

"He doesn't know."

"Don't you dare tell him," I warned him.

"Why? What happened?"

"Nothing happened, okay? Just don't tell him. I trust you," I emphasized the last word. "Now you know, do you know some place where I can run from?"

"Are you asking me to run away with you?" He grinned as he looked at me with amusement. "You are leaving him."

"Shut up!" I hit his head. "Just help me find a place that no one can find me because I don't want to be found."

His jaw dropped. I could sense he's still trying to grasp the situation.

"You are not joking, right?"

"I am afraid I am not," I confirmed. "So, help me find a place. And it's better if it has a University where I could get a scholarship for law school."

"What is happening?" he asked, confused.

"Life happens," I answered. "Don't tell Loud or I'll hate you forever!"

I left him inside our office and went to Atty. Levi's office to finish my work. I still have to draft some of his cases and continue my research.

I am not sure if I can finish this in a week but I have too. Our semester will also end next week. I already processed my papers for me to transfer, though I don't know where.

Where would I go? That's the question I always ask myself.

Where would I go when I am leaving my home?

I am pretty sure I would never find another home for he is home. Loud's the home I've been seeking too. It's ironic how I am running away from him.

It was already lunch time but I haven't finished even one case. Honestly, I am not myself. I am floating in space. It's a good thing that I am just waiting for the semester to end, no more recitations that I would truly fail in my state right now.

"You okay?" Loud asked. We went to eat sandwiches at the Subway because he was craving some. I don't have an appetite, I'd just stare at it. I don't even like the smell of tomatoes and I don't know why.

"Yeah," I said, removing the tomatoes from my sandwiches. "I'm getting a bit dizzy. Just stress about some files I need to finish."

"What?" He felt my temperature. "Do you want me to buy you medicine?"

"No, water will do," I smiled at him and acted tough even though I wanted to cry in his arms. "How's the admission test?"

"Yeah, right!" He happily showed me the results of his examinations. "It turned out that the machine couldn't read my paper so they weren't able to record my score. Thus, I failed. I think it was because I erased something. Ugh! I shouldn't have done that. But yeah, they agreed to just manually check it and I passed with a score of 189."

I hugged him." Congratulations!"

I let go of him before he realized I was about to cry.

"Hey, something wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"No, I'm just happy for you. That's the start. You will soon become one of the best cardiothoracic surgeons!" I held his hand. "I am proud of you!"

"I am also proud of you. You'll become a prosecutor!"

I smiled at him. My heart was racing so fast I only hoped he couldn't hear it. I have to shut up because I felt like any moment I am going to spill everything and it would ruin the happiness in his face.

"So, what school are you planning to apply to?"

"I applied to almost every school but sadly they hadn't called me for admission."

"Then you have to wait?"

He shook his head. "Actually, one medical university called."

"Oh that's great. You are going to start your class next week? What medical university is it?"

"Wong-Tan Medical University."

"Oh..." I said, surprised. But, I shouldn't be surprised. I already know that. "That's in Singapore."

He nodded. "Zee was also accepted and they told us that it's only for a year. We will be a foreign exchange students. It depends on our performance if they would accept us continuously but if we don't like it we can go back and continue our study in Tan Heart Foundation University."

"I see, that's great."

"You don't like it? If not, I can wait for other universities to - -"

"Do you want it?" I seriously asked him. I looked him in the eye and repeated. "Do you want it?"

"Yeah," he sadly smiled. "I hate your family, Gabby! You know that but you also know that they're the best when it comes to heart surgeries."

I have to agree with him. My mother is one of the best cardiothoracic surgeons in Asia and I'll bet my mother is also making names in Europe and the States. It's no wonder my great great grandfather has a lot of contributions when it comes to cardio.

"Then, go!" I urged him. "I think they probably forgive you? It could be a start because you'll be working with my family. You'll have closure."

"Thank you for understanding me. Don't worry, I still hate them." He kissed the back of my hand.

"Don't hate my family because I hate them. Try to be nice with them, okay? They're great with other people," I faked a laugh. Ugh! I hope he won't notice it.

"What do you want? I'll treat you anything you want," I told him. I tried to make my voice happy.

"I only want pancakes." He teased as he caressed my legs under the table.

"Stop it, Loud..." I hit his hand when he tried to put it inside my skirt. I stood up and kissed him. "I have to go. I'll be seeing my brother."

"Oh, where are you going?" he asked, curious. "Zee and I are going to visit your Heart Foundation for our admission. Text me if where I need to pick--"

"No," I sealed his lips again. I am going to miss his lips, his touch, everything about him. "I'm sorry, Loud." I whispered.

"Why?"

I pointed outside. "I have a date with my brother so I am afraid you won't have to pick me up. You need to miss me--" I chuckled when he blew kisses all over my face until it found my lips.

"I love you, Gabby!" He brushed my hair with his hand. "I'll see you later and we will eat pancakes."

I chuckled.

"Oh, before I forgot!" He pulled a flashdrive from his pocket. "I had a lot of time so I recorded something for you. There's a song, too. Though, I know how you would to listen to Revised Penal Code, Civil Code and 1987 Constitution."

"Wait, you recorded them all?"

"Actually, I started making it a year ago before you even went to law school. I just finished it now. You can check it. I recorded the things you need to memorize up to your fourth year in law school."

I almost cried. "Aww, you don't- I love you!" I hugged him. "Thank you!"

He kissed my forehead. "I love you, Gabbabe!"

Indeed, he's my everglow.

I waved but immediately put my hands down because I didn't want to say goodbye. How could I say goodbye and break his heart?

"See you later!"

My brother who was leaning in his car outside the shop waved at Loud before looking at me.

"You can cry now. He's not looking."

I wagged my head and went inside his car. I decided to change the topic by asking the model of his car. But, I know he wouldn't let go of it.

"What did mother tell you to do?" he asked again and again. It wasn't the first time he asked that.

"Nothing."

"We both know it's not nothing, Gabriella!" He seriously told me. "You shouldn't do what she -"

"I did it for Loud and I will never regret it," I firmly said.

"You will not regret hurting and leaving him with no explanation? What if it became a reason for him not to continue his dream?" He turned to me with disgust before looking back at the road. "Do you really want that?"

"That's why you will be there for him."

"Gab, I can't lie to him. He wouldn't believe me and where would you go? What will happen to your -" I held my brother's arm to stop him.

"I will get by. I'll be okay. You don't have to worry about me. You just have to make sure that Loud will become a surgeon."

He shook his head. "I can't promise that."

"You have to!" I stressed. "At least not for me but for her mother..."

He sighed. "Tell me where are you going so I can visit you-"

"I can't be found brother so it's best for you not to know where I am. I promise to call once in a while so you won't worry about me. And, yeah! I will come back as a lawyer."

"You're not going to tell him about his child?"

I looked down and felt my tummy. "I am still not sure. I haven't taken the pregnancy test."

Although, I could already feel my body is changing. I have signs and symptoms I tried to ignore. I didn't take the pregnancy test.

"I may have my license revoked, yet I am still a doctor," My brother stated. "I don't know why Loud hadn't realized that makes me doubt if he can be a doctor," he joked and I appreciate that because he's making the mood lighter.

I missed my period and I don't miss one so yeah it's positive. But I won't tell him that. There's no need. I am going to leave.

It's just a waste. We could be happy right now. We were supposed to be happy with this blessing, now I have to be happy alone.

Maybe when the time comes, he will understand me. I hope he will not hate me.

"Don't forget to call me, okay?" I nodded. "When are you going to leave?"

"You'll know when. For now, can you do me a favor?" I pleaded and even pouted like how I used to when I was a kid asking for new books. I know I am his favorite sister because he always comes home with whatever I asked him.

"If I said yes, would you tell me about the deal you made with mother?"

"No."

He scoffed. "What is it?"

"Aside from making sure, Loud will go to study at our hospital in Singapore. You need to give me a heart in a jar."

"What?" He raised his brows. "What are you going to do with it?"

"Loud wanted to have a heart in a jar for his collection. Real heart, damaged heart, you know the heart you removed from someone's body during transplant. You don't throw them, right? I've seen some in your office!" I lifted my hand and begged. "Please? It would make him happy. I want to give it to him."

"Isn't it ironic that you have to make someone happy before you leave them hanging?"

I shut up. I was speechless. I couldn't argue. It's pointless.

"Fine. I have one special heart that he deserves to have," My brother agreed. We parked inside the mall as I told him to help me find a stethoscope for Zee and Loud. It will be my gift to them and I want it customized.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked as he followed me inside.

"It's his mother's heart."

I had told my brother to keep Loud for the day so I could pack my things and leave. I want to leave my things with him because I want to come back but it would just be painful if I leave it.

It would kill him as much as it'd kill me to leave him without saying anything.

"I am really sorry, Loud." I hugged his pillow and smelled the coffee on it as I cried. It took me an hour before I could get up from bed and pack my things.

I am trying to postpone it, really. I was hoping he'd come early and I can tell that I wasn't able to do it today because he's home.

But no... I have to do it.

I pack my things and his pillow as well as one of his perfumes so I could still feel him even if we're miles apart. I knew he would miss me so I decided to leave my favorite hairbrush that he used to comb my hair at night.

After this, I have another reason to cut my hair short again.

I arranged the house, clean and restock the fridge,

watered the plants, and put some of his favorite things on his luggage that he could use when he's already in Singapore.

When I made sure everything was okay, I prepared myself to leave.

I left the spare key on the countertop where we usually make love. I will miss the warmth of his lips in every part of my body.

I also put in there the customized stethoscope I made for him with a heart in a jar. It was his mother's heart and he would be in tears to have it.

I looked at it. It's amazing how that small of an organ can bring us so much life at the same time so much heartache.

"I love you, Loud." I whispered in the air hoping he would hear me. Hoping that when he stood there while staring at it he would feel my embrace.

Every time he looked around the house, he would feel my love. He would remember every happy moment we shared inside his house instead of one painful memory where I decided to give up our love.

I was already at the door when I stopped. I decided to write him a letter. He deserves that. At least, he deserves to know I am leaving him so he wouldn't look for me. I want to break his heart by saying I don't love him anymore but he's Loud and he wouldn't believe that.

I want to write a back to back letter because I have a lot of things to say to him. But all I ended up saying was,

Loud,

There will be no answer for every question you have in mind after seeing this. No one would be able to tell you how and why. And the only way for you to have the answers you are looking for is to find me, which I am afraid you won't be able to unless you appear in front of me as one of the best cardiothoracic surgeons.

By then, you are free to curse and hate me all you want. Just don't let me be the reason for your light to dim.

All the best, Dr. Lauyton Diem Israel Elarde.

Your everglow,

Atty. Gabriella Wong Tan