Chapter 29: Chapter 29

028

And the tears come streaming down your face when you lose something you can't replace

"Hey, Atty. Tan," One of the interns in the law firm I was working at called me. I didn't say a thing and continued reading the files I had prepared for Zack's case when she added, "Aren't you friends with Zee Zamora?"

"What?" I raised my eyebrows. "Why are you asking?"

I flipped the pages of the folder. It's clear to me that there was foul play. The plane crash wasn't an accident. Ugh! It's getting my head ache. There are many things that still need to be done. Zack is enjoying his honeymoon with Zee while I am here busy dealing with the incident.

I hate them both. Kidding! I am so happy that they finally got the happy ending that they wanted. It took them a lot of years and there was a lot of sacrifice before they got to it.

Zack was involved in a plane crash. He temporarily lost his memory. Finally, he got it back on time to stop Zee's wedding with Aae. Though, he didn't stop. He was ready to leave Zee, yet destiny paved its way. They're meant to be. Aae was the one who let go of Zee.

"I saw some of your pictures from their wedding. I mean, the people are turning into nuts trying to know the story between Zee, Zack and Aae. Is it true that Zee cheated on Aae with Zack?"

I rolled my eyes. It's no wonder that people will talk about it because it is the talk of the town. Aae, Zee and Zack weren't celebrities but since they belong to a rich family they become instant celebrities.

It's been months since that happened. Zee and Zack are happily married. I can't believe people are still talking about it. Can't they just mind their own businesses?

"Do you want to become a lawyer?" I asked the intern.

"Yes, Atty," she replied.

"Really?" I sarcastically said. "It seems to me that you are a better gossiper than a lawyer."

Her smile faded away and she slowly went back to her seat. Zee and Zack didn't bother to explain their sides about the wedding. Why would I tell the people what's the truth? Let them think whatever they want, all I know is that they are happy.

I learned not to make everything about you public because not everyone will appreciate it.

"I need someone who will accompany me to Germany to investigate something. Who wants to go?"

All five interns raised their hands. I smiled. I like their attitude.

Well, what are interns for if they are not going to help me, right? I carried all the files I needed to finish and dropped them at the long table.

"You need to prove yourself to me," I grinned. "These are all criminal cases. I don't need a better argument. I need an argument that will win against them," I demanded even though I already made it.

They all looked at me. I crossed my arms. "You are going to stare at it?"

I laughed when they all stood up and rushed to pick the folder. I could imagine myself in their place when I was still an intern.

"Are you giving them a hard time?" Atty. Levi interrupted.

"Yeah, just like how you did to me," I replied, reminiscing the things he did to me when I was still his intern.

It's been eight long years since I left Loud. I went to Cebu because it's the only place I knew. Let's say it's the only place where I can run to since it's Var's hometown and he helped me get through it. I stopped studying law for a year because I had to carry my child.

I came back to school right after my baby girl was born, graduated, and finally passed the Bar Examination.

Atty. Levi decided to leave Maquess' Law Firm and built his own law firm in Cebu City since it is also his hometown. I was his first office staff, well, intern. I could say he didn't pay me well enough during my internship even though he threw a lot of work at me.

Ugh! I almost wanted to kill him that time but of course I owe him a lot. When I passed the board, I decided to work for him. I also need experience and he quite pays a lot these days since the firm is growing.

"Where's Gem?" He asked. "I bought her some hair clips."

Gem's the name of my daughter. It sounds like Loud's second name which is spelled as Diem. But there's no way I am going to tell him that it's his daughter. Well, there's no chance for her to meet Gem in the first place. Also, add the fact that I am not coming back to his life anymore.

"Aww, that's so sweet. That's why I know I chose the right godfather," I chuckled. "You can give it to her when she comes back."

"Where is she?"

"She's with Var."

"Var?" He eyed me suspiciously. I already know where he is coming with this.

"Var and I are friends, okay? And he's been very nice to Gem. He just wants to treat my daughter for a vacation since she tops their class," I explained though I don't even know why I am explaining.

"Just friends?"

"What?" I glared at him when he started teasing me. "We are friends!"

"Yeah, right. Friends, yet your daughter sees him as her father. She even called him Dad. What do you think will happen if she meets Loud?" Atty. Levi sighed. He'd been telling me that and I often ignored him.

I've been avoiding that question. I never really cared. I never thought about it. Maybe because it was already too painful for me to think that I kept her from Loud. I never intended for her to meet her father even though it sounds selfish.

"He'll never meet Gem," I assured Atty. Levi.

"You clearly know that he's going to file for custody if he knew about it."

"He won't have to if he doesn't know."

Atty. Levi wagged his head in dismay. "If you believe that. Don't say I didn't warn you," he dropped before leaving my office.

"What will you do, Gab?" I asked myself as I stared at the portrait of my daughter placed on my desk.

The photograph was captured when she was five years old. She won first place in a school singing competition. She looks exactly like me, so Loud wouldn't doubt me if I say that it isn't his child except for the fact that they indeed sound alike and they both like the same thing.

Loud should never meet her because he'll know. He would feel it.

Although, it's clear to me that he'll know about it. The truth will always come out. I don't think I am prepared for that.

Gem never cared, either. She grew with Var on her side and she never once felt the absence of not having a father.

My daughter is already nine. She can think for herself. She's intelligent. Although, I am not sure what will happen if she meets Loud. Gem never asked about his father.

I told him Loud left us and never came back. I know, it's my fault. I have tried making it right each time but Gem refused to listen to me. She already made up her mind that it's only Var she's going to identify as his father.

How am I going to change it?

Ugh! Var is giving me a headache. I appreciated everything he did for us. He took good care of Gem and treated her like her own daughter.

I don't deserve Var's love. It was so sad I couldn't give it back. Honestly, I wanted to give it back. There are times when I slowly felt myself falling in love with him but I fought myself.

I can't fall for him. He can't fall for me.

Var is still engaged and up until now I blamed myself because I know I am still the reason why he couldn't marry her fiancée.

He is still hoping for us. It would be great, actually. But that's another problem. I had enough trouble in my life.

I was back to my senses when I heard my phone ring. I automatically smiled upon seeing my daughter's smile on the phone screen. She's glowing. I recognized her smile, it's the same as her father's.

"Hi, Mommy!!" She happily greeted me. She waved her right hand while her left hand was holding an ice cream. "Look, I am wearing the dress you bought me!"

I smiled as I watched my daughter circled from the screen while showing the mustard yellow sunflower dress I bought for her. It fits perfectly with the boots Var bought for him.

Var was holding the phone for her and I heard him say, "Show her what I got you."

Gem leaned closer to the screen and waved her right hand showing a bracelet with a sunflower pendant. "Daddy bought me a bracelet and it's so cute. It's even paired - - oh!" Gen stopped and licked her ice cream before turning to me again. "Sorry, Mom, it's melting. Cold..." She gritted teeth.

"Be careful," Var from behind the screen said. "Give me the ice cream, baby. You'll ruin your dress."

I saw Var's hand getting the ice cream cone from Gem. She pouted. "Daddy, are we going to get another one?"

Var said yes and Gem's eyes twinkled. It was such a beautiful sight to see only if she is really talking about her father.

"Are you giving your Daddy Var a hard time?" I told her. "What did I tell you, huh?"

"Don't worry, Mommy. He loves me." She showed her teeth to me. She's nine and she's still acting like a baby. Well, a trait she got from her father.

"How's your day?"

"It's tiring but I've seen a lot of amazing places. Later on, we are gonna watch Coldplay's concert!!" She jumped and I heard Var's chuckled.

"She's so excited. You should be here! It's your favorite." Var showed his face on the screen and stuck his tongue out.

"Poor, Mommy. She's not going to hear them live." Gem teased.

"Yeah!" I pouted "So, you should enjoy it for me, okay?"

"Yes, Mommy! Mwaa!" Gem gave me a flying kiss and I received it from the screen. "I love you, Mom! We'll see you soon."

"I love you. Take care!" I waved and returned the flying kiss.

I heard her giggled before the screen showed Var's smiling face. "We have to go. Take care. Don't stress yourself."

"Take care of Gem. Don't let her eat a lot of sweets," I glared at Var. "Don't buy her another ice cream!"

"I know! I know! I know my limits." He grinned at me and somehow I felt like it had a deeper meaning. "I'll see you soon."

Var waved and ended the call.

It had come to me that I could no longer change what happened. Var would always be a father to Gem. No one, not even Loud can change that. But yeah, my daughter deserves to hear the truth from me instead of hearing it from others. It's up to her if she's going to accept Loud in her life.

But it's not going to happen anytime soon. Maybe, it was already too late if that happens. For now, I apologized to my daughter and to Loud hoping they would understand me.

I cannot break the deal I've made with my mother.

Since Var and Gem are going to spend weeks in Singapore, I have a lot of free time. By means of free time is sleep which I haven't been able to do since I became a lawyer.

I am a full-fledged lawyer by day and a full-time mother every minute. It was really hard for me to raise Gem alone. I had to work while studying law at the same time taking care of her.

There are times when I would bring Gem to school and even at work. Without Var, I wouldn't be able to raise her well. My absence at times made her really close with Var. I would have probably given up without Var on my side. That is why I couldn't blame Gem if Var's like a father to her because Var is indeed a father to her.

I have been telling Var to stop and get a life. He shouldn't be stuck with me because there's no ending for us just like there's no beginning for our story.

He'd been postponing his wedding to the point that even his own fiancée begged in front of me, just like now. To tell you, this isn't the first time her fiancée asked me to talk to Var.

"When is he coming back?" Vyra, Var's fiancée, barged inside my unit in the middle of the night. She didn't greet me and walked straight to the living room as if she owned my place.

She sat cross-legged and waited for me to say something. I rolled my eyes and kept myself calm.

"The week after next," I plainly replied. "Did you go here in the middle of the night to ask me that?" I said irritatingly. "You can just call me."

"I am just making sure Var isn't really here because as you see he loves to lie to me when she's with you." She frowned.

"I can't control, Var, okay? I've been telling him to marry you and it's not my fault he doesn't want to." I brushed my hair in frustration. "I am sleepy and I need to sleep, so can we just talk--"

"How did you manage to make Var fall in love with you?"

For the first time, there was no sarcasm, no hatred, no anger in her voice like how she used to talk to me. It was only pain that registered in her throat.

She gulped, trying to hide the sorrow in her heart.

"I don't know," I replied. What should I say? I clearly have no idea why until now Var loves me. "I've known him since college. We're friends."

Vyra faked a laugh. "He never saw you as friends, Gabriella. You know, you are the reason why until now he still can't see me."

"I am sorry. I swear we don't have any relationships. It's just because of Gem - -"

"Don't worry, I don't really love Var. I tried or was even close to but I already accepted the fact that he's never going to love me. I am not you, Gabriella."

She heaved.

I stood there thinking of what to do. I was never good at comforting people. For a second, I thought of hugging her but we are not really close.

How am I supposed to comfort a person when I am the reason for their grief and sorrow?

I have never learned that.

"Sorry for bothering you, but you have to tell Var that he's father wants to see him." She walked towards the door.

"Do you love him?" I asked. "Be honest. Do you love Var?"

"Would it make any difference?"

"Tell him, then," I urged. "You know the reason why Var never wants to marry you?"

"He loves you. Do I need to repeat that again?" She raised her voice without looking at me.

"Maybe," I smiled a little. "But it was also because he knew you loved another guy."

"What?" She turned to me with disgust. "I left the man I loved to marry him when he couldn't leave you!"

"That's it," I said in a slow tone. "He doesn't want you to leave the man you truly love just to marry him. Var wants you to choose the guy you truly want to be with forever."

"I don't have a choice..." She sobbed as she put her palm on her mouth. "It's already t-too late. That guy already has his own family."

"It's not too late for you and Var. So, go. Tell him. He'll come by. He loves me but it doesn't mean he already closed his heart for someone else." I tapped her back and I think that's the closest hug she could get from me.

"Don't cry, please? Just go home. I am sleepy!" I opened the door and pushed her a little.

She wiped her tears and scoffed. "You are such a bitch."

"So are you!" I fired back.

"Can I sleep here?"

"What?" I blinked. "Are you kidding me?"

"No." She closed the door, removed her heels, and jogged to the living room. "Do you have a blanket? I'll sleep here on the couch."

"I didn't agree."

"It's midnight and I'm sleepy. What if I fell asleep while driving and died?"

"Then, I'll go to your funeral."

She chuckled. This time I know it's real.

"Bitch," she commented. She leaned her back on the couch and closed her eyes. "I want to make Var fall in love with me. Can you help me?"

"How am I going to help you?"

"You start by telling me Var's deepest secret." She opened her eyes and smiled at me. "Care to share?"

I froze. Is she kidding me? I can't believe this girl. Should I pull her hair?

"It's a secret. Why would I tell you that?" I laid on the couch next to her and closed my eyes.

"C'mon, I thought you wanted to help me," she urged.

"Okay, fine. But can we do that tomorrow? I need sleep."

"Yeah, me too." She took a deep breath.

Vyra pestered me for the whole week that I almost wanted to stop helping her. She is a real bitch. She wanted me to tell everything about Var and that would not make sense. Var would even hate that.

In the end, I didn't tell her. Instead, I told her to just discover it for herself. Var's great if she gets to know him.

I had doubts about learning how to love someone because love cannot be learned. Still, it's up to her. I wished them all the best.

All I want now is to see my daughter. Var is keeping her away from me. They were supposed to come home today but Judge Maquess needed to talk to Var. She brought Gem with her which means to say they are going to spend another week in the city.

Ugh! I missed my girl.

Why isn't she answering her phone?

I checked my watch and continued dialing her number. It's only seven o'clock so I am sure she's not yet asleep. I ended the call and dialed Var's number.

It's strange. Why aren't they answering their phone? Where did they go this time?

I kept on dialing Var's number but got no answer.

"Var, where the hell are you?" I whispered to myself. I felt uneasy. I couldn't explain my feeling. It's like an insect started crawling the insides of my body.

I ended the call when I saw Zee's number on the incoming call.

"Hey, Zee, what's up?" I quickly answered. "Can I call you back? I need - -"

"Gab..." She said in a slow tone. "Zack's already on his way to you. Can you meet the copter on the rooftop of your building?"

"What? Why?" I asked in confusion. "Why do you need to pick me up? What is happening?"

The bomb suddenly fell on my chest when Zee added, "Gem and Var were in an accident."