Chapter 66: Chapter 66

"You need to help yourself, Azaria. No matter what assistance I offer, it won't have an effect if you keep rejecting the help I'm giving," she said calmly.

"Heidi, please don't leave me," I cried out to her in a pleading manner. I knew she also felt sorry for me.

"I'm angry at him! I don't want this anymore. I'm tired of being left just like that," I said, anger building in my heart. "I want revenge. Heidi, I don't want to be used anymore! I want to be the one who leaves, hurts, and manipulates!"

"Please help me. I want to get back at Nikolai, I want to show him and make him feel that he wasted me," I said, filled with hate while looking at Heidi.

"She shook her head, 'Your anger won't help. You need to accept what happened, validate your own emotions, and help yourself. It's okay to cry because it's cleansing. You have to forgive yourself first,' she advised.

"You’re scared of being left because when you were a child your parents left you. You have trauma. And when Nikolai enters your life and makes you live in fantasy, you change your perspective but it turns out that he’s one of your trauma. You have dealt with and healed your childhood trauma."

I didn't listen to what she said because I was blinded by my emotions.

"I want to make him feel the pain he caused me," I said seriously.

"Help me," I said to Heidi, looking into her eyes, "I need your help in this matter."

Heidi is older than me because she was adopted before I was born. She stayed under Dad's care, and he supported her education. Meanwhile, I didn't know where to turn for support. But there was never any jealousy between Heidi and me because we both grew up without parents, and I considered her a sibling. Sometimes I lived with my mom, sometimes with my dad—most of the time, with friends.

"How can I win him back? I’ll take revenge on him. I’ll hurt him too," I held her hand.

"The only help I can offer you is a free counselling session. We will work on healing your childhood trauma."

"No! I know you know how to make Nikolai go crazy for me again, how to make him fall in love with me again!" I desperately told her.

"You need a love potion, not me," I seriously told her.

"Do you know anyone selling love potions? Do you know a witch?" I asked her seriously, looking into her eyes. I'd do anything, even sell my soul to the devil—that's how much I love him.

She sighed.

"If I weren't a psychologist, I'd say you're crazy," she said, shaking her head and releasing the pen she was holding.

"Manipulate him if you want to take revenge. There's also something called dark psychology, but that's very dangerous, Azaria. I know some techniques to make him obsessed with you. But first, you need to be mentally strong because if something bad happens, you might not be able to handle it."

"I can. I'm mentally strong. What's that? Please, I'm begging you," I held her hand.

She didn't immediately respond. It took her minutes before she replied, and her look at me seemed disappointed.

"Dark psychology is a mix of science and mind control. You have to manipulate him. oh, can you do it?” He asked me. Is he stupid? Why is he asking me that, what do I know about that?

"Another choice is Hynopsis. I think a mix of manipulation, and hypnosis to get him back. But of course, I won't do the hynopsis to him because I don't want to sacrifice my license."

My shoulders fell from what he said.

"You said you would help me?" I asked her a reproachful question.

"Just move on Azaria, there are more fish there."

"My father sent you to school. If it wasn't for my family you would probably be a beggar today. If it wasn't for us do you think you would be where you are today? My family is the reason you have a license. Help me because we helped you," I scolded him.

Her face became serious. I know I offended her with what I said. But I was desperate that's why I said that.

"Azaria, my license will replace that because we will be doing a dangerous method. If someone finds out that I'm not doing my job in the right way, I can go to jail. Nikolai can sue me for what I did to him. My license depends on this... and I appreciate your family because they supported my education.”

"I do not care!" I raised my voice. I didn't pay attention to the last thing he said. I also know the fatigue and the sacrifices he made to be in his current state.

"No one will know what we will do. Just the two of us! No one knows much about Nikolai and I's relationship! I haven't even met his family yet! he is not even known to our family!” Because I don't have a family.

She took a deep breath and looked at me. Heidi's face is curled and her hair is coloured. His nose is also pointed, and he is not that white. And I can say that she is beautiful. She's just a simple person, she doesn't like makeup either.

She took five books from his drawer.

"If Nikolai suffers from a mental health issue, such as delusions or hallucinations, hypnotherapy isn't suitable for him. It could worsen his condition."

"He doesn't have any mental health issues."

"This hypnosis for memory retrieval isn't strongly supported by research," she read from the book she opened. "We'll use this method with a mix of dark psychology, where you'll manipulate him to make him obsessed with you," she said, looking at me.

"But first, you need to take a shower."

She looked at me incredulously, as if she couldn't believe what she just said.

"How many days has it been since you last showered?"

I smelled myself and I could say I was still okay. I didn't have body odour, and I didn't sweat much because the places I went to were air-conditioned, and I was just at the condo.

"You should fix yourself before showing yourself to Nikolai. Unlock your feminine potential to make our methods more effective. It's much better if you always wear black because it symbolizes mystery and class," she explained, and I listened intently.

"Don't show him that face of yours because he won't come back to you."

I'm aware of how I look right now, but at least I don't have body odour, right? I have good hygiene; I'm just hurt, which is why I haven't been able to shower.

"First, you need to know what kind of man Nikolai is so you know how to manipulate him. Is he the cold type, a narcissist, easy to get, or a player?"

"What are we going to do?" I asked impatiently.

"I'll delete his recent memory using hypnotherapy. I'll implant new memories in his mind," she said simply, looking at me with a different kind of gaze as if to check if I was sure about what we were about to do.

"Okay, if something happens, I'll take responsibility for everything," I assured her.

She leaned back in her chair.

"One promise," she said seriously, which she had been from the start.

"After you're done and you've hurt him, promise me you'll help yourself to become a woman who doesn't chase men."

I nodded in response.

"Where were we again?"

"We were talking about the hypnotherapy you'll do to him."

"Yeah. You need to bring Nikolai to my place to do the hypnotherapy. I'll implant memories in his mind, and when he wakes up, he won't remember anything about you two. He'll only remember that you used to play together when you were kids. He was adopted by your grandfather, and even at a young age, he already had feelings for you. Nikolai knows that you've known each other since you were kids because he was adopted by your grandfather, but you were separated when he was found by his real parents. Now that you're both grown up, it's up to him to take steps to make you his property exclusively. I want to remind you that he's obsessed with you, and you need to make a move to make him even more obsessed. Read this book so you know what to do."