Chapter 43: Chapter 43

“Ryan.. Don’t come here, you're annoying.” A six years old little girl shouted while frowning at me.

“You always come here and eat what daddy cooks. He even gives you more than me so I don’t like you” She yelled and threw a glass of water at me. I smiled because of her look that she had on her face.

“I’ll come here every day and eat what uncle Nolan cooks” I teased her even more because she was so cute when she was angry.

“YOU….” With that, she ran towards me and grabbed me by my hand and dragged me into the garden, and just pushed me into the pond.

“Ugly Ryan…” She watched me and smiled wickedly. She always bullied me but I never felt any anger towards her because I always thought she was ignorant and stubborn.

“Oh my god, Marianna. You again pushed him into the pond? Don’t do it baby” It was the little girl’s mother. Light brown hair that reached to her knees and beautiful hazel eyes. She was such a beautiful woman.

“He ate everything daddy cooked” Marianna started to cry as her mother helped me to climb out of the pond.

“You can’t treat Ryan like this Marianna. He will be your….” My eyes snapped open as I heard someone knocking on the window of my car. I turned my head and looked at Chris who had just come. I sighed and got out of the car.

“What’s up?” Chris asked me as he leaned against the car.

“Remember Marianna?” I asked him as I looked up at the star-filled sky. I could feel Chris looking at me quickly but I just stayed looking at the sky.

“Lost young lady of Holland family. Of course, I remember. How could I forget her when she’s the only one who bullied you when we were kids.” Chris let out a small chuckle as he spoke.

“Ryan. Why suddenly?” He asked me and I took a deep breath before talking.

“It’s her. Julianna” I looked at him and said as I saw his shocked expression of his.

“What the fuck? No... Wait…. She looks like her.” Chris said with a horror-filled voice and he looked at my face.

“Find out what happened to her and Noah. Noah was the baby that aunty Maria gave birth to” I was also there when aunty Miara brought her newborn baby home. I could still remember the happy faces of Mark and uncle Nolan.

“How did you know Ryan?” He asked me as he took out his cigarette pack from his pocket.

“It was Mark’s son who recognized her but he couldn’t let her know anything” I sighed and grabbed the cigarette pack from his hand.

“You still don’t know it, Ryan. Maybe Mark’s son found she’s similar to her” Chris said as he sighed. He was correct. I still haven't confirmed it but there's a high possibility for that.

“But Julianna said she doesn’t remember her past and she had an accident and that made her lose her memories” No one now knows what happened to Marianna and her little brother. They only knew that she was cuddling her brother in the garden while no one was in the house. Urghh.

“Did you ask her?” Chris asked me as I shook my head.

“No... I can’t let her know and I especially can’t let Holland's family find out about her. Mark clearly said that he won’t let me have his sister” I will marry her tomorrow and after that, no one can change the fact that she is my wife.

“Of course, he will never, and if he finds out what happened to Julianna and she has already given birth to a child for you he will go insane from hatred.” I nodded at Chris because he was correct.

“I’m gonna marry her tomorrow. I’ll just get marriage certificates” I looked at him and said and he raised his brows.

“What the fuck? Are you going to marry her?” I nodded at him and smirked.

“Why? Jealous?” I asked him as his face grew dark and looked away.

“Why do I have to be jealous? I have women. If I want I can marry one of them” He said with an annoyed voice. Puff.

“But in the deep inside of your heart, you want to marry that woman who slapped you right?” I teased him as his face grew even darker.

“Of course, I’ll force her to marry me” Chris looked at me and smirked while raising his eyebrows.

“She’s the best friend of Julianna. I met her today and she even blamed you in front of Julianna” Chris’s smile froze because of what I said.

“What? Did you see her? Where?” He asked me with an impatient voice. Damn. Didn’t Julianna ask me to not tell him? Shit.

“Sorry..” I smiled at him and turned to leave.

“Fuck you, Ryan… Tell me I want to see her. It’s been a week and I still couldn’t find her” He sighed and said.

“Come to my apartment tomorrow morning,” I said as I heard him sigh again.

“Okay” I heard him say and I felt pity for him because I have no idea if he could get that woman and marry her as he said. Idiot.

“You’ll see her tomorrow. Now fuck off from here” I spoke again and with that, I left him there and went into the house. I walked towards the room where Noel and Julianna were sleeping and saw Julianna was protectively hugging Noel. I went into the room and covered them with a blanket and kissed their foreheads as I went into the other room.

I looked at the time and it was already one-thirty in the morning. I sat on the bed and took out the letter Noah wrote for me and I again read it. I couldn’t control the pain in my heart and I started to pull my hair tightly I wanted to feel the pain because I was also a part of this. Noah had to die untimely and it was my fault too. My tears came out as I remembered him. He didn’t deserve that kind of life. He was a son of the Holland family. Why did things turn out like this? He died without even knowing his real parents and who he was. Wasn’t it all because of grandma? She was the one who did that to him but I bet there’s someone behind everything other than grandma.

How am I supposed to ease this pain? I can’t because every time I close my eyes my fucking mind recalls how Noel smiled at me that day. I wanted to ease the pain in my heart because I couldn’t even breathe properly. I had to check on Noah that day without caring about anything. He was a cancer patient and I knew it, didn’t I? I saw him in that area. Fuck my life. Shit. Suddenly without warning, I quickly took off my shirt and started to scratch my body. Is that happening to me again? Fuck… I scratched my body for a while and it didn’t help me at all. Urgh… So I got up from the bed and grabbed a paper cutter from Julianna’s table and cut my hand. Blood rushed out of my wound but I couldn’t feel any pain. Shit. It's not working too. So I decided to do it till I felt the pain and when I was about to cut again.

“Ryan… What… What are you doing?” I heard Julianna’s voice as I looked at her. Her eyes were red and probably just woke up from sleeping and suddenly her eyes turned moist as she looked at me.

“What the hell is this Ryan?” With that, she came to me and grabbed the paper cutter from my hand and went towards the window as she opened it and threw the paper cutter out.

“You are bleeding. Why? What happened?” She spoke as her tears came out of her eyes. Is she crying for me? What if she found her brother’s death and she lost her family because of my family? Will she leave me? I questioned myself as I looked at her.

“You look gorgeous Julianna” I traveled my fingers through her face and smiled as she looked up at me with an angry face. Still the same little girl.

“SHUT UP... IDIOT” With that, she shook my hand away and made me sit on the bed. She quickly grabbed my other hand and made me cover my wound with it tightly.

“Hold it tightly” She warned me and left the room.