Chapter 59: Chapter 59

"A gift for your wife?" Jaime, one of my trusted men, casually spoke while driving the car.

I nodded sparingly and stared again at the necklace I was holding. "For our wedding anniversary," I said lowly and forced a smile.

And she'll never know...

"You will confess?" he asked again.

I chuckled emptily and put back the infinity necklace on its box. “You know I can’t do that right now,” I claimed.

He stopped talking and focused on driving. I looked outside the car window and smiled sadly.

A day from now, it's already our third year anniversary, my wife.

IT'S almost 12 midnight when we reached my parents' party. I automatically snaked my arms around her, marking my wife at everyone's eyes as we took our way in.

She's mine.

I am always thankful every time we need to show up at my parents'. It's the only moment I could freely touch her¾the split second I could only be near to her without any further reason.

"Excuse me, I’ll just go to the restroom," my wife said.

"I’ll come with you," I said and quickly hold her carefully.

Somehow, I felt guilty. I knew she's hurt. I declined my father's offer to dance her.

If only you knew how much I want to dance with you...but you can't hope on me anymore, you'll just get into trouble.

I accompanied her to the restroom even though it was against her will. While waiting for my wife to come out, my jaw tightened when I noticed the woman who had been watching her since we arrived.

What are you planning to do with my wife?

I slowly walked closer to the woman and caught her attention. I don’t know if I’m going to be thankful that she fell for me so easily or get annoyed because of that.

I intentionally flirted with her. I know, I will hurt my wife again when she sees me now. But I had to do it so that he would get away from me as well.

'I'm sorry...' I whispered in my mind when I felt her come out.

"What's your plan?" I asked the woman, emotionless.

She plastered a smirk. "I plan to kill your wife, will you agree?"

I secretly balled my fist. "You can't kill her here. Many guards are watching over her," I said then clung to her body.

I seductively touched her neck.

If I could just strangle her at this moment, I would have done it.

But I still need to know who ordered her. I need to make sure that no one could hurt my wife.

"Why don't you come with me? In my house, you can freely kill her. Of course, after our..." I moved my finger on her neck. "Night," I continued.

She chuckled and clung on my neck. "Why don’t you kill her yourself? Looks like you don't like her either," she said.

You're wrong. I love her so much. With of all of my heart, I love her very much.

"I'll tell my driver to pick you up," that's all I said because I've been with her for so long.

When the agreement became clear, I left the place. Based on what happened earlier, I knew my wife would drunk herself so I first took the road where the wines were.

My jaw clenched when I saw her talking with a man.

Who was this Pontius Pilate daring to approach my wife?

I gritted my teeth when I finally got closer to them.

Oh. Look who's here, it's my so called half-brother.

"You are hitting on my wife, Mister. In case you didn't know.”

"YOU'RE acting like a jealous husband even though the truth is you don't even care about me! Are you this ruthless, Valjerome? You're making me hope!"

My jaw clenched.

Damn, wife, I am really fvcking jealous at this moment! I would die because of this jealousy only if you knew.

I shut my eyes and sighed deeply. "Just go to your room," I said.

"I will fvcking leave this house for a while."

I am not afraid of guns, not even with different types of weapons. But those words...

I was scared too much.

I immediately followed her. We argued for a while until we ended up with something I didn’t expect that I am allowing this to happen.

"I love you too..."

I made love with her.

Fvck! Just for now, I will fight for this. I will fix our marriage.

I love my wife so much.

"SOMEONE left this outside the mansion."

I thought everything would be fine. I thought I could do anything because of the position I had.

I was wrong.

I was completely frozen and looked pale when I saw my father's picture¾full of bullets, bloody while tied to a chair, lifeless. I could see the misery on his face. I was even more devastated when I saw a photo of my wife next.

No. She can't be hurt.

"I SAID GO TO YOUR ROOM, JAZZIE!" I shouted at her when she tried to approach me.

No. Don't try to get close to me anymore. You need to be safe.

"IT'S Gamor's Mafia," Jaime informed while I was on my father's funeral.

I didn't tell Jazzie about my father. I know that when she finds out all of this, she will be more eager to stay in my life. What I needed now was the opposite¾I want her to run away.

"I thought we had already agreed to stop the bloodfeud? We paid a huge amount!" I blamed even though Jaime was not at fault for those.

I'm so messed up. I don't know what to do anymore.

I am a leader of a large organization but I failed to protect my own family, fvck.

“S-Son," Mommy called me.

I exhaled deeply and softly looked at her. She walked towards me and hugged me tight.

"Please, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault," mom murmured.

I didn't say anything even though I strongly objected to what she said.

"There's...something you also need to know," she whispered and slowly pulled herself away from me.

I frowned in curiosity. "About what?"

"About..." Mom trailed off and looked away. “Your wife’s parents,” she continued.

That same day, I lost my father, and I also lost my hope for saving our relationship.

"ABORT it," I said coldly.

Take our child, wife. Run away from me.

"W-What did you say?" she asked, as if she heard it wrong.

I walked closer to her. "Abort that child. I don't want that," I said clearly.

Leave, wife. Leave me and be with our baby. Stop wasting your life  being with your ruthless husband. Love yourself, Jazzie.

I know I'm not sure of what will be the outcome of this harassment, but I'm confident. I trust that she will choose our child.

"I don't want to have children with you."

I want a big family. I want a lot of kids who look like you.

I could clearly see how my words had destroyed her. As if I was gasping for breath as I saw the pain in the eyes of the woman I loved.

"Will you love me if I do it?" she asked weakly and glanced at me, tears were silently streaming down on her cheeks.

Damn, wife. Don't waste your tears for a jerk like me.

"I don’t love, Jazzie," I replied.

Even if you don’t do it, I have already loved you¾so much.

"Will you be happy if I do it?" she varied the question.

I could not answer immediately.

No, wife. Don't even think about that. Please, run away.

I slowly released her and turned my back on her. I was about to leave the room when I stopped walking and then turned to look at her.

I trust you.

"Yes, I will be happy if it's gone," I said and left her inside her room.

I immediately dismissed my scattered staff. Even the doors, I left them wide open. I also ordered the maids not to leave their rooms.

Run, wife. Run.

"THE abortion went well."

Four fvcking words that made my world crumpled.

No. She will not choose me. Not me.

She should not have chosen me.

Remorse and weakness consumed me. Even though that wasn't my plan, it all ended up there.

My baby...

I'm sorry my child.

"Go back to your room and rest," I said calmly to my wife.

Why? Why did you choose me, Jazzie? What did I do to make you love me like this? What should I have to do to stop you?

I cried almost all night in my room and got drunk. I repeatedly blamed myself for everything.

My attention went to the door when someone knocked. After a while, it slowly opened up and Jaime entered.

He bowed for a moment to pay his respects. "We have killed the three spies who were targeting Miss Jazzie," he informed.

I just nodded sparingly and drank the wine again. "Prepare our people, we'll start with the Gamor’s next week," I promised without emotion.

"Understood, Señior," he said and walked out of my room.

It was the reason why I asked Jazzie to stop from modelling back then when our relationship had reached the public. I knew my other opponents would target her when they found out she had a connection to me.

I consumed two more bottles until I decided to go to my wife.

For the last time, I wanted to be with her.

I found her sound asleep in Manang Fe's bed. Perhaps she also cried over and over again that her body voluntarily gave up.

I didn't make any noise. I just stroked my wife’s face, memorizing every part of it.

I 'm sorry.

I focused next on her stomach. I went down slightly and bowed just to put my face on it. I gently caressed it, thinking of the little angel I had taken the right to live on earth.

I'm sorry, my child. Sorry for what Daddy did. Sorry, baby. I didn't mean to kill you.

I remained in that situation until I lifted my wife to her room and slept next to her.

Even just for tonight, I will allow myself to be with you.

Because tomorrow...we need to separate.

"WHO are you?"

The eyes of the woman next to me widened and the hastily examined me. I just woke up and I saw an unfamiliar person.

"My name is Elle, and I am your private nurse," she answered.

Nurse?

That's when everything came back into my mind¾our war with the Gamor mafia, the ambush of my group and the moment when I got shot.

I moaned softly when my chest hurt.

"No, don't touch me," I said as the woman was about to approach me.

"Sir, I am not here to flirt with you, rest assured that I will not do anything," the nurse said calmly.

I didn't object anymore because my chest ached again.

"Just act slowly. You just woke up from a coma. It's not good for your body to be shocked especially when you underwent a heart transplant," said the woman who introduced herself as Elle.

"What? Coma?" I asked confused.

She sighed and then stopped putting the sphygmomanometer on me. "You have been unconscious for five years, Sir."

Five years?

As if on cue, the door opened.

"Bab—" his word was cut off when he saw me awake.

He walked quickly to my seat and paid his respects. "Señior," said Jaime.

"How's my wife? Is she safe?" I asked him curiously.

"I'm sorry, Señior. But we can't trace her location. The only thing I can give you in your answer is that she is safe. There are no mafias claiming that they have killed Mrs. Montevardo," he replied.

Mrs. Montevardo.

I smiled bitterly. "She's back to being Ms. Zamora," I whispered and shut my eyes.

My body is still weak, probably because of the operation and those years of long sleep why I am still feeling strange.

"Find her ..." I murmured.

"Are you going to get her back?" Jaime asked.

I slowly stared and shook my head in response. "I just want to make sure she's safe."

With all that I have done, I have no right to take her back. I killed our baby. I myself killed our child.

TWO months had passed, and I could say that I am barely living. Sometimes I just wish I hadn't woken up so it wouldn't be this painful. It's hard to wake up knowing you don't have a wife to wait for you.

"I miss you," I murmured drunkenly while hugging my wife's pillow.

Like the previous nights, I slept here in her room again.

"Please, show yourself. Even for a moment, I just want to see you..." My tears began to flow. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything."

It's been a few months since I asked to find Jazzie but until now, Jaime still hasn't heard anything about her. I searched everywhere; modelling agencies, businesses that was related to her hobbies, I even traced her name, but no one could tell where she was.

Please ... I just want to see you.

"SEÑIOR, the hotel is ready," Jaime informed me.

I just nodded and then looked out of the car. Today is the schedule of my meeting with an investor who is in the province. We will talk about our company supplying for the that will be built there.

"Is there still no news, Jaime?" I asked without emotion as I watched our path.

It's been a year...I still can't find you.

"I'm sorry, but it looks like Mrs—Ms. Zamora is really hiding, Señior," he said and scratched his neck slightly.

I froze and let out a deep breath. This is what I always wanted, for her to run away from me. So I have no right to complain that this is hard for me.

I leaned back in my chair and slowly closed my eyes. "Wake me up when we're already at the hotel," I said and tried to take a nap.

I’ll admit. I’m getting tired. But my desire to see her prevailed. I have no plans to go back into her life. I also have no plans to make up with her. I just want to make sure that she is fine, that she is happy.

But all of that changed when I saw my ex-wife’s familiar necklace in the room I was occupying. Maybe the destiny is really playing us. When I'm not looking for her, the opportunity itself brings her to me.

"I think...she's the housekeeper I met at the lobby," Jaime uttered when I called him.

My eyes widened at his clarification. "Housekeeper?" I repeated.

Jaime nodded slowly. "That's why she seems so familiar, I just didn’t assume because...I didn't expect Madame to work as a hotel maid," he explained.

I let out a deep sigh and fixed my coat. "Come with me to the office," I said.

That's when I found out that my ex-wife was really a housekeeper. I couldn't believe it. She has the looks, talent, and money. That was enough for her to find a high-paying job or start a business. But why did she still end up in this job?

It's not that bad to be a hotel maid, but damn! She's a millionaire for Pete's sake.

I also found out that she uses a different name in the papers. It was her mother's maiden name. Now I no longer wonder why I can’t trace him in the past few months.

"What's your plan now, Señior?" Jaime asked as we left the office.

I looked at the necklace I was holding and gently played with it. "I...want to see her. Even for a moment, I will allow myself to be with her." I lifted my eyes to Jaime and smiled sparingly. "One month. I'll stay here for one month. After that, I'll leave her alone."

It was the plan. But everything changed when I saw her son.

"What's your name?" I asked calmly even though my chest was almost pounding in extreme anxiety.

"Jace Erom..." he trailed off, thinking if he'll continue or not. "Hevion."

Hevion...

Unsure of what I was thinking but it’s like my heart was pounding in pain after hearing the unexpected last name.

"YOU should have seen it yourself for how much blood did I lose after she gave me that medicine back then." She forced a smile. "The child is still a blood but you wanted to kill it. So don't act like you want to take our son from me and Chaos. He's not yours, Valjerome. You killed your son six years ago. "

I almost believe that. If I was not seeing myself to that child, I might have believed her. I secretly asked Jaime for a DNA sample and sent it to Manila for quick results. That's when my emotions got all mixed up when I finally touched the papers that would prove to me that he was mine.

Erom is my son. He is our son.

Even before my ex-wife could hide again, I had to take them to the mansion. I know, it was a selfish decision but I just wanted to be with my son. I just want him to acknowledge me as his father.

Jazzie and I argued several times. And in every argument, I was always killed in pain. I know it's my fault. No one is to blame but me. No reason can erase the mistakes I have made. However, my only wish is to be with them even for a short span of time. Damn! Even if I beg for it, I will. I don’t care even if I knelt down many times. Even if I have to show my weakness, I will, just have to have them both for a while.

"I was pregnant with TWINS that time, Valjerome. I lost Erom's twin due to stress on my 4th month of pregnancy. Now tell me. How can I forgive you?"

"Get away from me! You're bad! Mommy's right, I shouldn't be talking to a stranger!"

I'm still alive yet I felt like I was dead inside. No, I was really fvcking dead at this moment. I lost them, I lost my family. I lost everyone.

Maybe it's real karma for all the pain I gave to my wife. I deserved this. I killed them all.

I drowned myself in alcohol, losing myself in frustration. I badly want to kill myself, but somehow I still thinking about Mommy.

I never thought my ex-wife would still go with me after what happened. Overwhelmed with intoxication and overflowing emotions, I was able to tell the reasons I was hiding in the past. Not only did I hurt her, as well as my family had hurt her.

I don’t know how I would feel then. There was something inside me that breathed a sigh of relief because at last, I have told her the truth. Yet there is also a part of me that is difficult because I know it will be difficult for Jazzie to accept everything.

"SEÑIOR!" Jaime said as he rushed back in the car.

I frowned at him. "Did something bad happen?" immediately, a shiver rose in my chest.

"That guy," she said. "She gave Madame a flower," he informed.

I stayed silent and processed what he has said. "Jaime," I called his attention.

He quickly focused his gaze on me.

"You can also give flowers and gifts when you're sorry, can't you?" I added.

The two of us looked at each other for a moment.

"Of course, that's normal, perfectly normal," he replied when he recovered.

I cleared my throat and sat properly. "Take me to the nearest mall. We'll buy a sorry gift."

Sorry gift? Fvck! What the hell am I talking about?

"WHY did you keep the truth? Why didn't you tell me you weren't really having sex with them?" Her tears were slowly pooling in her eyes. "Why didn't you say that there were other people who were fvcking with the women you used to bring home?"

I was so shocked to hear it. How did she know?

Yes, it's true. I have never had sex with anyone else. My room has a secret passage where some of my staff pass through to have sex with those women I was pretending to flirt with. I made them believed that I will fvck them after, but the truth was...I will kill them or make Jaime kill them. All the women I have brought are daughters of the groups who are trying to take my wife’s life.

I will never let them hurt my love.

I have never asked for too much in my life. I also didn't expect Jazzie and I to get along well even though I wanted us to be. That's why I thank God with all of my heart that we go back to each other’s lives.

After six long years, we made love again. All the pain we both went through seemed to be erased so easily.

I thought everything will go smoothly after that. But maybe, destiny will always test our unity and love.

My son got kidnapped.

Jazzie got shot.

I failed to protect them, again.

"WE'RE here!" Erom greeted cheerfully as he went into the tombstone.

I just smiled as I watched him. I put down the candle I was carrying and lit it.

"Did you miss me?" my son spoke. "Me too! I miss you," he added as if he already knew how to drive the conversation.

I just breathed out deeply and then wrapped my arm around the waist of the person next to me. "He's okay, right?" I whispered and moved her closer to my body for a hug.

"Don't worry. Our son is fine. The doctor said he didn't see any trauma in Erom. It's just...he's also grieving for Chaos' death," Jazzie, my love, stated.

I let out another sigh. I slowly put my face on Jazzie's shoulder and then looked at Chaos' grave.

"He was not my father's child," I said lowly.

I could feel her shock based on the rise of her shoulder.

"His mother was my father's bestfriend. When his Mama got pregnant, she approached Daddy and asked to adopt the child. My father didn't want to do that but Mommy pushed him to make that decision especially that it would be a big mess if the truth came out. Chaos’ father was a Gamor. While Chaos' foster father was violent and unrighteous, that's why his mother was so afraid that her secret would be revealed. If my father would take the child, as a strong and well-known mafia, the punishment that her husband would imposed to her won't be that. It's confusing but that's the truth, my father just took the child and had an agreement not to interfere with everything. "

Jazzie slowly glanced at me. "So...Dad didn't take Chaos?" she gently inquired.

I nodded and hugged her tight. "Chaos didn't know the truth so he got very angry with my father because he felt like he didn't care about him," I explained.

"I'm speechless. I felt bad for Chaos. I know he made wrong decisions but in the end he still chose to stand as the father of my son. He's just...also craving for love. Love that he found on our child, "he said and at the same time we watched Erom telling stories to the tombstone of his foster father.

Back then, I envy Chaos for my son and ex-wife's attention. But after thinking about everything, I am willing to share my son with him.

Well, not my wife. She's exclusively just mine.

"How about me? Have you ever felt the slightest bit of pity? Don't you know how crazy I was as I waited for you to wake up in the hospital?" I pouted.

She chuckled. "I'm sorry if I made you worried, but still, I don't regret it. For once, I did something for you. If that will happen again, I will and will still do it."

I sighed and buried my face on her neck. "Marry me," I whispered.

I felt her stiffened from her place. I secretly smiled and restrained myself from laughing.

Slowly, I took off the red velvet box from my pocket. I parted from her and gently opened it. I could see the edge of tears in her eyes as she watched my every move.

I slowly took the ring and then put it on her finger. "I know I wasn't a good husband to you before. I have always hurt you, I always crushed you."

I bit my lower lip to prevent my voice from shaking.

"I also can't promise anything because I don't want to fall through in my own words," I whispered as I remembered the incident.

I told myself that I will not let anyone hurt them, but in the end, I still failed on protecting them.

"Are you proposing or repenting?" she interrupted.

I stared at her badly until we both just smiled at the same time, as our tears flowed.

"Can you be my wife again? Can you withstand this ruthless jerk for the second time?" I asked sincerely.

She slowly nodded her head. "Yes, I do," she replied then hugged me tightly.

"I am willing to be the wife of a ruthless mafia boss."

~END~