Chapter 108: Chapter 108

LENA’S POINT OF VIEW

It’s been a week I haven’t meet Maia since the last time I met her at the restroom and she blamed me for everything. I’m not hurting people, I didn’t hurt that woman, everything happened it just an incident. My team and I didn’t mean to break that woman’s arm or hurt her, she was about to jump but she stumbled. I am so sad because Maia blamed everything on me, she doesn’t even know what I’ve been through when she leaves me, she have no fucking idea.

A pain stabbed my heart as it did every time I saw a woman I loved were happy with someone else. Once someone’s hurt you, it’s harder to stay around them, harder to think of them as safe to love, but it doesn’t stop you from wanting them. Maia stabbed my heart then yelled at me to stop bleeding. She’s my ex now, but there was a time when every part of mine belongs to her. She was the only woman I wished to grow old, whom I wanted to give all happiness.

But seeing her happy around someone else makes me happy for her, she takes care of that woman very well, she even visits that woman’s cell every single day. Since Maia left, I feel myself changing, I don’t even laugh the same anymore, I don’t even smile the same or even talk the same. There’s the day I have spent every time my phone vibrates, I hope that was Maia. There’s the day I have spent wanting her and hope her to come back.

I blindly trust everything she said to me and I was so stupid. I may still love her, I do. But it’s doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t put my heart’s pieces back like they used to. I don’t cry over Maia, I cry over the way I get treated by her because I don’t think I deserve that. I remember when Maia hurt her finger when she fixed our standing mirror, I was working on my computer at that time.

“Ouch!” She whimpered in pain. “Gosh, babe! Are you okay?” I quickly up from my desk and reached her, grabbed her hand with me in dismay. “Gosh!” I groaned and quickly sucked the blood with my mouth which just came out from her finger in dismay. “I’m good babe, I’m fine” She said. “No, this is not good, Maia” I replied as I keep sucked the blood. “Hold up!” I said, I look up for plaster inside the bedside drawer.

“You don’t have to do this, we can ask someone to fix it or buy the new one” I mumbled as I kept scanning for the plaster. “I don’t want to interrupt your work, you were busy on your computer!” She said. “Oh, God Jesus! You should have more reasonable reasons for it, Maia” I sighed. “Ughh finally!” I heavily sighed as I found the plaster inside the drawer and I covered her little scar with the plaster after. “Okay, done!” I said as I look at her with a raised brow.

“It just a little scar, you don’t have to act that way” She sighed. “Mmm now you mad, huh?” She asked with a little smile on her face. “Of course I’m mad!” I shouted. “You’re hurt!” I end. “Haha I’m fine babe” She chuckled. “Yes, you were” I pouted as I removed my gaze from her. “You know what babe, I’m the happiest person in this world because I have you as my partner and I don’t need anything in my life anymore” She smiled as she cupped my cheek.

I reached over her hand on my cheek and caressed it gently “It hurts me when you’re hurt” I said. “Hehehe… it hurts me too when you’re hurt” She chuckled. “Even though if that were a little scar” She ended. I laughed softly and kissed her hand which still rested on my cheek “I wish we can be like this forever” I smiled. “I pray to God to answer that prayer...” She said. I laughed softly and hug Maia, dragged her closer to me.

“Mmmm I fully support whatever shampoo you’re using” I chuckled. “What?!” She laughed. “Hahaha, it’s another way to saying that I really like how your smell” I chuckled. “Well, I like your smell too, even more like how much you like mine” Maia replied. “It’s kind of trail” I chuckled. “Huh, really?” She raised her brow. “Yeah! It is” I laughed softly as I kept hugging her. “Mmmm well, I won’t do that again, don’t dwell!” She sighed as she kept hugging me.

“Hmm okay, I kind of like it. You can trail me anytime” I caressed her back softly. “Really?” She gave me a look. “Yeah, babe of course!” I chuckled. “Is it hurts baby? Your finger?” I asked to make sure that she was okay. “I’m definitely fine babe, you take care of me so well” She replied with smiles on her face. “Huh yeah, thank God I was here, if not? This mirror would definitely break into pieces and fall on you” I sighed.

“Hahaha you were right!” She sighed with a few giggles on it. “Thanks babe, you really taking such good care of my ass” She smiled. “Hehehe you don’t have to say that, it’s my job, Maia” I replied with smiles on my face. Maia cupped my cheek and smiled, she caressed it gently. I ran my face closer to her and kissed her lips with smiles on my face, I was so happy that day. “I love you, Lena” She smiled. “I love you too, Maia” I replied and kissed her lips once again.

Sometimes memories it just a memory, it doesn’t mean anything for those who don’t even care about it. But those memories were really meant to me, it still safe inside my brain and heart. Maia is my time machine, I wish I could back to our old days and run our day back together. On the other hand, I wish I could back and not meet her. I have two choices if only I had a time machine to get back.

“Lena, why are you so bummed?” Adele all of sudden woke me up from my darkest memories. “Oh, shit! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you coming” I laugh softly and sit on my bunk. “Ow, you don’t have to up, you can continue your novel again and stop pouting!” She says. “No, no… I’ve almost done, I think I have to take a break from it” I place the novel on the bedside. “And I wasn’t pouting” I chuckle.

“Huh, you don’t look pretty well Lena. What happened?” Adele asks, she sits on her bunk in front of mine. “Huh…” I sigh. “I was thinking of Maia lately” I end. “Oh, I got it” Adele sighs as she raised her eyebrow. “Lena, look…” Adele up from her bunk and sit on mine. “Don’t let the same snake bite you” She says. “I'm not letting her to do that, but you don’t know Maia...” I respond. “She is a master of psychological manipulation” I end.

“Fiuhhh… that’s sucks” Adele sighs. “It’s pretty tense in here since the basketball scene and I need fresh air! Ughhh I haven’t out in a week because no one from C block even too bold to passed that block. But I’ve seen one of us are already walking around the B block today, I think everything is running well now” Adele says. “Glad to hear that” I sigh. “Come, join me. I’m going to the open yard now” Adele says.

“I don’t have a mood to out…” I sigh. “Ughhh come on, Lena!” She groans. “I have two fingers for us” Adele raises her eyebrow. “Uh, I don’t even have a mood to feel those cigarettes inside my throat” I sigh. “Mmm right…” Adele heavily sighs as she sits next to me. “So, what are we gonna do now? We cannot smoke in here, the guard will kick our ass off! You know that I had a bad record since last week” She says with a few giggles on it.

“I thought you like it when those lady guards kick your ass” I laugh softly and roll my eyeball. “Well, Lena. That eye roll was kind of L word phobic” Adele responds. “Hahaha I’m L too, dumbass” I laugh, Adele really cured my pathetic day. “Jesus Christ! My bad” She laughs. “You know what Lena…” Adele groans as she making a good position to lean on my bunk. “You need to understand your value and how amazing you would be to a partner” She starts.

“And how lucky someone would be to have you as a partner” She smiles as she looks at me. “You don’t need to find someone to love you, you don’t need to ask someone to give you the same love as you gave them, that love will come to you… and I believe that love will come to you oneday. You’re really a good person, Lena. The universe won’t doom you!” Adele says. “That’s a really good discourse, Adele” I chuckle as I keep looking at her.

“Damn it, I swear dumb ass! You’re never take everything seriously Lena” She chuckles. “Hahaha… okay, okay, keep going… I’m listening…“ I respond. “Huh” Adele shook her head. “You know what Lena, we’re been friends since the first time you got here. You told me your stories, your past job and your Maia’s love story” She starts. “And I would've loved to have been able to take away that pain” Adele heavily sighs as she looks at me.

“I can be there as a friend, I can hold you in my heart, I can hold you literally. I can empathize with you and care for you, and hurt inside because you’re hurting since the first time Maia got here, but I can’t fix your pain…” She says. “You are the only one who can fix those pains away, Lena. And you have to fix it before those pains eat away your body and soul” She sighs as she keeps looking at me. “You are the one who can fix those!” She ends.

“She was the love of my life… and she gave me butterflies every time I saw her” I reply with smiles on my face, my face down to the ground. “But she’s not the love of your life anymore, Lena…” Adele responds. “I know…” I heavily sigh as I held my tears. “And I love her so much…” I scoff with tears in my eyes. “You said that you've already moved on, that’s why you’re back to New York” Adele says.

“Yes… I am and I do!” I laugh softly, my face down to the ground, facing the prison floor. “But that was before I see her again” I end because I cannot say more words anymore, my heart hurts so badly. Adele gets closer to me and hugs me, she’s caressing my back. “We through a lot of things together...” I say as I almost cry. “I feel you…” Adele responds as she keeps caressing my back. “I love her Adele, I love her! I can’t lie to myself” I start to cry onto her torso.

“Shhhhh Lena, hey!” Adele calms me down. “And I am so stupid… because I love her” I keep crying. “Hey, Lena. Shhhhhh, Lena” Adele tries to calm me as she keeps caressing my back. I remove myself from Adele and facing her, my eyes soaked. “So what are we gonna do?” She asks. “You want me to come to her cell and kick her ass, dragging her out and boxing her?” She chuckles, she literally joking to cheer me up.

“No, we don’t have to” I chuckle as I wipe my tears. “Adele” I sigh. “Yeah?” Adele responds. “I think we have to say sorry to the woman from the B block after what happened to her at the court” I say. “What? Are you fucking kidding me? We didn’t hurt that woman, she fell!” Adele says. “I know we didn’t hurt her, but it’s fine to say sorry” I respond. “Lena, that’s not our fault” Adele says. “Please Adele, for me…” I beg. Adele heavily sighs as she gives me a look “Fine!”