Chapter 65: Chapter 65

“So you only thought of yourself?" I ask coldly, “because the only one who benefited from this was you, Kahin chose to keep quiet so that you wouldn't lose me. Fuck! After what you did to him, he still had consideration for you.”

My mother doesn't take her eyes off me, “I swear it wasn't with ulterior motives, I just wanted to find the right words to tell you that."

“That's what you hid it from me, mother, there were no indicated or subtle words, nothing justifies the secret that you have hidden from me, you played with me, I always felt bad for the complicated relationship you had and it turned out to be something else.”

My mother looks at Kahin and then at me, "daughter, I know I have no forgiveness from God, but if there is something I can try to do, is to plead with you to forgive Kahin, we only went to bed one night,” she looks away, “to be honest, he just came inside me,” she covers her face with her hands, “he was with someone else and it was only at the end that he did that."

I look at Kahin, “love, you have to believe us, this was not planned, it hurt me that your mother made that decision without my consent, but things are done, my heart belongs to you and my only sin was to think of you first and not think of  the consequences that a good intention could bring,” he kneels in front of me, “I know this seems crazy, you sleeping with a man who also slept with your mother, but even so, it is a shit for me to say that I love you. Dulce is like your mother said, it was one night and I just came in her for fun, we didn't have sex, it wasn't full sex,” he caresses my cheek, “forgive me, if you're not by my side I'll die baby, I'll die."

My tears fall on his head when he rests his head on my legs, I squeeze my eyes to try not to cry too much but it is impossible, "I love you both too much and therefore the pain I'm feeling right now doesn't compare to anything,” he raises his head and looks at me, "I can't stay here, I need to make this trip, I need to find myself, clear my mind," I caress his cheek and then look at my mother, “if you love me like you say you love me then let me go."

Kahin's breathing is short of breath and my mother starts screaming as if someone has died, I am using all my coldness on this, it is time to think only about my pain and not about the pain of others, I must go, get away from them to heal and really think about what I want, being close to them is only going to mean seeing them every day trying to make me forgive them and it is not what I want, they must miss me and think about whether it was really worth hiding something like that from me, “the flight is leaving tonight and I'm not letting it pass,” I feel like Kahin is tightening his grip.

“Salt!” He yells, “get out!" He look at my mother who, flustered, is leaving, “you must listen to me, you love me too much to leave me and not suffer, I will give you the time you need, but I will give it to you by being here, I will give it to you here, fighting for your forgiveness, you cannot cause us both this pain, you cannot leave me Marilí, love, this can't end like this, not this way.”

Letting out a sob that threatened to choke me, I cry out, “Kahin, my heart hurts and is very resentful, only by moving away from everything will I heal, please let me go, do it for me, for our love ," I see him get up and throw himself on me, his kiss is bitter, I don't feel it warm and sweet like the other times, “no Kahin, I don't want to do it with you, you're not going to convince me with sex, you know me and you know I'm not going to allow it."

He looks me in the eye, "I just want to say goodbye to you, I want to touch your body one last time."

Refusing, I push him away, “no, that's not how I do things myself, miss me as much as I will surely miss you, but we won't have a last goodbye," I get out of bed and wipe my eyes.

"How can you be so cold?" He asks with tears in his eyes, “how can you leave me just because of a mistake?"

Swallowing the gigantic lump in my throat, I take the strength I need to say what I should, “because the pain you have caused me has killed every quality in me, you have left me devoid of feelings and full of resentments,” walking to the door, I open it, “it's time to just think about me."

When I leave, they all wait for me and of course, there are tears to take center stage. The flight time is approaching, I did not allow anyone to accompany me to the airport, I want to do this alone, I am determined to change the scene and to find myself after this immense pain that I feel.

"Did you think we would just let you go?" I hear my friend's voice, when I turn I see those people that I forbade them to be here, “Flaca never forget it, I admire you for the great woman you are, never get lost and I hope that your essence will always last in you,” she walks towards me with open hands, I melt into a hug with my Zaza, "I'll always be waiting for you, you are absolutely forbidden to have another best friend, understand?"

Smiling amid the sadness, I caress her cheek, "they will never take your place away, you are unique,” I kiss her cheek.

"I will certainly miss those discussions in which my ego and macho pride were hurt,” Loan hugs me.

“I hate this,” Randon looks at me, “you cannot leave, your place is here with us …"

Smiling, I am the one who embraces him, "I promise that if I ever come back, you will continue to be that accomplice you have always been,” I give him a kiss on the cheek.

Aunt Lourdes stands in front of me, “my promise still stands, I love you like a daughter and I always will, I hope one day you will forgive me,” she hugs me, seeing Malcolm makes my chin tremble.

“I am very angry with this, but I also know that it is necessary, if you decide to return, do not forget to look for me, you will always be my dwarf and I will be willing to protect you,” he kisses my forehead, “in love, nothing is certain, but when you love you forgive each other,” that said, he moves away, my mother approaches but does not touch me.

“I can only say that you forgive me, I did not want to hurt you in this way, you take my life with you, daughter, do not forget about me please, do not,” letting out some tears, I hug her tightly and kiss her cheek, she's my mother, how can I not forgive her?

“You are leaving me alone,” Kahin whispers, “you are abandoning me when I beg you not to do so, you are taking away everything that makes me happy." Looking at that man and the pain that overwhelms him, I can't help feeling that pain in my heart, “Sweet, you have time to stay."

Caressing his cheek, I pull him close for a kiss, “it's time to let go," I smile, “don't forget Mr. Hamann, there is always someone more intelligent, resourceful and better than yourself,” I turn away from him.

“Never forget,” he whispers with tears in his eyes, “only you are better than me."

The call to board the plane makes me spin, “I forgive you, I forgive all the pain you have caused me, I wish you all to be happy." At the second call I look back again, sighing, I give them one last look to leave without looking back.

I am leaving a place that is everything to me, I am leaving my heart and carrying only pain, I am leaving sad, empty and unwilling to feel, I leave the love of my life, I leave my mother, my family who are those two women who have always been there for me all my life, my friends that as time went by I was making, I leave my dreams and my illusions behind, I must do it or I will never be able to heal.

Leaving all my thoughts on board the plane, the tightness of my chest almost does not let me breathe, I am about to do something really crazy, go to a place I do not know and being alone.

"What a sad look," says a boy next to me, his Italian accent seems funny to me in Spanish.

“There are many reasons to have me like this," I look out the window again.

"Life is beautiful, you have to enjoy it, live it.” I Sigh, how ironic, before I was the one who said that to people, "I'm Francesco."

Putting my grief aside, I look at him and smile, "I'm Marilí, a pleasure." He holds out his hand and when we go to kiss each other on the cheek, we give it to each other by mistake, “oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.” For some reason that makes me laugh out loud.

"What a laugh," he joins me.

Look for book 2 by the title "Heart Won"

Synopsis:

After being betrayed by the two people Marilí loved, she decided to go to Italy. In her country of origin, she manages to meet again and be happy again with the help of third parties, but it is as they say "He who leaves without being thrown out, returns without being called" and she does just that. After an unexpected visit ... Daughter's love makes her return to the same place where one day she left with her broken heart, but she will not return alone, with her come new problems, new dramas, and many uncomfortable situations. Can Marilí pass what they will say? Or will she simply be indifferent to everything and leave it as it is?