Chapter 63: Chapter 63

"How can you ask something like that?" Kahin says almost in a scream, “would you think I'm cheating on you and even worse with your mother?"

Looking at him, I run one of my hands through my hair, if not that then what the hell is it? "Then say what it is. Mom, what's going on? You are not to look down at anything, speak.” I ask almost to the point of a tachycardia.

"Fuck Camilla say it," Kahin takes her by the arm and plants her in front of me, this that I'm witnessing is something I never thought I will see, Kahin yells at my mother and she just cries.

"I know I should have said it before," my mother says without looking at me, “daughter, I swear to you, I was thinking of telling you ..." My heart doesn't give a beating space, I can no longer feel how fast it goes.

"Tell me what’s going on," I demand from her with heavy breathing, she looks at me without stopping her cry.

"Kahin ...he ...is,” she says no more and I feel like dying.

“Oh my heart, oh my gosh, don't tell me that Kahin is my uncle or something like that because I swear I'm dying mom ... I swear don’t make me look like a fool,” hysterically, I walk from one side to the other, my heart pounding in my chest, the blood pumping in my veins, making me really hot liked I’m suffocating.

"Shit Camilla stop delaying things the hell of a time,” he yells louder.

Looking at them both, I try not to faint from the pressure my chest feels, whatever my mother has to say will not be to my liking.

“It's okay,” she says in a desperate cry, “this happened three years ago, one holiday I got too drunk and in the process I met Kahin, the alcohol would not let me think and why not? We were adults and we were single,” a gasp of pain comes out of my mouth, I flop onto the couch as I bring my hand to my head and shake again and again, “I agreed to have sex with him and another girl, we didn't use protection,” the hair on my body stands on end and tremors invade me, “sometime later, I realized that I was pregnant and without consulting him, I had an abortion.”

Painful tears escaped my eyes, “it can't be, this can't be happening to me ... it can't," I get up and look at them, “you tricked me, you hid something from me that I should have known from the beginning,”  I cry almost dead from so much pain, “where does this leave me? Being in the same bed with my mother's ex?” I look at them disappointed, “you have killed a baby for your adventures, you were going to have a child for my boyfriend!" I let out a painful cry.

“Sweet, I swear that when I met you I did not know who you were, when I saw your mother at your party I was shocked, I was going to tell you immediately, but she made me promise that I would give her time, I did not want to do things wrong,”

Glaring at him, I contract my face so as not to let out a sob, “didn't you think that not telling me the truth from the beginning could be worse? You are as guilty as her, I feel like a damn bitch who has no value, I feel stupid,” I try to inhale with the increasing pain, the constant pain in my chest does not allow me to breathe well.

“Daughter, I was only with him one night, that's why I made the decision to take the baby out of me, I didn't want to bring a child into the world and raise him again without a father,” she tries to get closer to me and I back off.

"You're a coward, you could tell have told the father because that baby wants to live," I look at her in disgust, “I hate them, I hate you both, you have hurt me in a cruel way, that's why you treated him like that ...”

"I thought he was using you to get revenge for what I did, I thought he just wanted to hurt you, that's why I acted that way, I was just protecting you."

Looking at her like she's a bloody witch, I bite my tongue so as not to insult her, “take care of me, you say,” I speak with a pressed jaw, “only by telling me the truth you could do it, but you chose not to say anything, now I wonder if you really didn't feel jealous for sleeping with what was yours first, you are a bitch mom, I hate you with all my soul.” My mother slaps me, without caressing my cheek, I back away.

"Don't touch her again," Kahin yells at her, “you have caused all this, I shouldn't have been carried away by your ‘I can lose my daughter’, but let me make it clear to you Camilla, I love my wife and only for her I agreed to give you time, if she doesn't forgive me, what I put you through when I found out that you killed my son will be something insignificant with what you will feel now,” he looks at me, “baby we have to talk."

Grinning, I shook my head, “there's nothing to talk about here, you hid a truth from me that you shouldn't hide from me, you saw my stupid face all the time, you played with my feelings, every time you argued, I felt guilty and look at you, you were just acting,” wiping my tears, I lift my chin, “but it will only hurts me once." Turning around, I go to what until today will be my room, I am not going to stay under the same roof with a murderer, liar and cynic, nor am I going to forgive the idiot who claims to love me and hid something of that caliber from me. I fill a bag of clothes and take my cards, I must get out of this house. The screaming between Kahin and my mother doesn't stop, but it doesn't matter anymore, I don't care anymore.

"Sweet where are you going?" Kahin asks when he realizes I'm going out.

"Daughter, please don't go,” my mother begs me, drowning in tears, holding mine and turning from my pain, I say, "I wish I was raped a hundred times and remember everything, to have lived with what I'm living now." Without giving importance to their faces, I headed to my best friend's house.

"Skinny what's up,"  my friend hugs me and I hugs her, I collapse without being able to bear it anymore.

“Mom knew Kahin, they were together, they were going to have a baby Carla. My mother murdered Kahin's son and they didn't tell me anything, I slept with my mother's ex and it kills me to love him so much, I feel that this pain burns me , Carla, it kills me,” my cries are heartbreaking, the feeling with which I do it, I know they would remove anyone's heart.

"She was only with him one day,” I hear to my aunt says,"it was a night of fun that went wrong, he's not your mother's ex."

Looking at her with the same eyes I saw Mom, I fill my lungs with air, “you knew it too and you didn't tell me anything, you also agreed that they cheated on me. Where is your promise? Where is that damn promise you made to me once? You promised me that you would never allow me to suffer, and look at me as I am suffering now and you could avoid it, you could avoid this pain, you also saw Kahin the day I celebrated my birthday,” I see tears drop from her eyes.

"My chest hurts, my soul is shattered because the man I love has done the impossible for me, fucked my mother, he was going to have a child with her, tell me Auntie, what guarantees me that he won't take my mother back into his bed?” Carla looks at her mother without letting go of me.

“You are misinterpreting everything, you are hurt and that does not let you think clearly, my promise was always there, I did not think it necessary to tell you something that was not serious, I already told you, it was just a night of fun that ended badly. Although your mother was wrong with killing the baby, she paid dearly for it, Kahin made her life impossible for a while.”

Not wanting to believe what she's saying, I get up off the ground, “I am hurt, disappointed and very sad, I am devastated,” I look at my friend, "I must go or it will be done later." The tears don't stop falling no matter how much I want to hold them back.

"Don't go, you can't be waking around Marilí, it's dangerous," I smile bitterly at my Zaza.

"Right now, if ten men rape me I wouldn't mind," as I turn, I see Kahin standing on the sidewalk and my mother walking toward us, “see you Carla." Without looking at my aunt, I start walking.

"Daughter wait," my mother walks faster in my direction, “sweetheart don't go, I'll go if you want, but please I don't want you to be alone out there.”

I ignore her, if she had told me the truth in time, none of this would have happened, I feel dirty and not much, these things are not done to a child.

"Sweet you won't leave here," Kahin takes me by the arm, furious and blinded by anger, I turn and with my closed hand, I hit him in the face, after these many more.

“You said that you love me, love includes telling the truths at once and not saving them for the end, you let yourself be carried away by her and that led you to lose me, because that's what you've done Kahin, you've lost me. I don't care that it was only one  night, but you fucked my mother and me too.  How can you be so sick?” Without feeling the pain from all the blows I've given him, I walk away from him, “if you follow me, I swear that I am capable of saying that you raped me so that they put you in a damn jail and you will rot there.” Kahin's look is one of surprise.