Chapter 43: Chapter 43

When I get home, mom is with her best friend, without saying anything I go to my room, seeing Kahin has left me bad, my foolish heart was happy to see him, although my brain kept me stable.

"What happened honey?"  My mother asks, entering my room hours later, disappointed that Kahin didn't come for me like I thought he would.

I look at my mom, "I saw him mom, I saw Kahin at the mall, I was happy to see him but the resentment was bigger and I left there without listening to him, I feel bad for not doing it," I sit on the bed when Mom does the same.

"It's the best thing you could do daughter, it will hurt, I don't deny that, but once you get over it, you'll be happy again," she fixes a lock of my hair.

"Can I ask you something?" My mother smiles and nods.

"Whatever you want honey."

Sighing I look at her, I think it's time to find out the truth, "why did we come from Italy? Why did dad abandon us to our fate?Where was your family that they couldn't help you?" I asked the questions once before but she answered me only that my father left her alone and that's it, "this time I want the truth mamma, I'm not 12 years old, now I can understand everything."

My mother looks at a fixed point and I can see her jaw tense, the fidgeting of her hands tells me that I asked the right questions, the ones that cost her the most.

"All right daughter," she fills her lungs with air and releases it through her mouth, "I decided to come to Panama when you were three years old because that way you would not suffer the disappointment of living in the same place where you were abandoned by your father, and in that way, you would not want to look for him because we were far from him. Your father was from a different social class from mine, he was wealthy and important, his family stood in the way of our relationship and he swore, over and over again, that his love for me was strong, so much so that he would never separate from me,  but when I got pregnant, his family threatened to leave him with nothing and he chose his money and his social position before us," tears roll down her cheeks.

"I have no family daughter, I grew up in a foster home, I never had parents to defend me or help me out of trouble," she looks at me crying with more sadness, "your mother was a woman from the street, struggling to survive," she smile between sob, "that's why I take care of you as much as I do, since I realized you were on your way, my joy was infinite, at last I would have a family, at last someone would truly love me." Hearing that makes me cry, Mom had a harder time than I thought.

"I did many things to be able to have you with me, I did the impossible to keep you by my side, I did everything possible to get you out of misery and away from that environment that would hurt you sooner or later, I never told you this because I didn't want you to be ashamed  of having a mother who never had love, attention, or good treatment."

Hugging my mother tightly, I give her a huge kiss on the cheek, "I would never be ashamed of you, never. Yu are my heroine, mom I admire you as I will never admire anyone else, I appreciate everything you have done for me," in these moment, everything cleared up in my head, my mother doesn't hate Kahin, she just takes care of me not to have the same thing that she did, she makes sure that I don't suffer like she suffered in the past, "I love you mom, never forget that I do, thank you because despite your situation, you never thought of getting rid of me, mamma you are unique." Happy for the strong and determined mother who touched me, I smile, if she could handle all those situations, I can handle mine, I can get ahead no matter what.

"I love you with all my heart and although I know that you think that my way of being with that man is terrible and hateful, I want to make it clear that it is because I love you and I never want to see you suffer, whatever happens you will always have your mother to take care of you," my mom whispered. Without a doubt, God gave me an all-terrain mother.

Talking with my mother about the past was painful for her, we cried like we had never done before, we were missing this conversation and more to her, she had to let go of that past that hurts her so much today as yesterday, my mother has been through a lot and that has not prevented her from giving love and understanding to others, I admire my mother as I will never admire anyone else.

***

"What is happening?" I ask, getting up when I hear screams coming from downstairs.

"I will not allow you to see my daughter, she does not deserve this, you leave her and then you appear as if nothing happened. How can you be like that?" I hear my mom sounding hysterical.

"Stand away woman, you don't know why I did it, so don't think," I hear a voice like Kahin yells furiously. Nervous because he's here and annoyed by how he talks to my mother, I leave my room.

"We don't need to know why you did things, it's clear you just needed to know that my daughter was willing to forget you and that is why you are here to break into her life again, but I will not allow it."

"You should go Kahin," I say to him, hiding what I feel, I am between my mother and him, but without a doubt I decide to side with my mother, "I don't want to see you or be with you, not anymore." My mother comes up to me and hugs me.

"You've already heard it, get out of my house and don't come back," my mom shouts at him. Kahin's breathing is the one I fear so much, he is losing control.

"Damn it, get out of the way, I need to talk to my wife," he mumbles, his hand clench into fists, "fuck away," he takes a step and comes face to face with my mother.

"You must control yourself Kahin, don't act stupid," I yell at him, "get out of my house and forget about me," I growled at him.

"There is a contract involved, today is Friday and you have to come with me," he shouts, "now let's go, Malcolm is waiting for us."

With my heart aching to hear that, my eyes crystallize, "I trusted you, I thought you would give me my freedom. I can't believe that even with what happened to me and with your abandonment, you demand that the contract continue."

My mother hugs me, "you're a bastard, I hate you with all my might," she cries out to him and I look at Kahin who makes a face.

"Are you really the one to hate here?" He asks and my mother tenses and that makes me look at her, "Camilla, answer me. Are you the one who should hate?"

My mother frowns more, "of course my daughter is the one who should hate you the most, but that doesn't take away the fact that I too can hate you just as strongly." My mother separates from me and rushes at Kahin with the intention of hitting him, but he stops her and looks very seriously into her eyes.

"Stop it, don't make me lose the fucking control I have left," he growls slowly, seeing my mother's scared look I get in the way.

"Easy mom, I'll be fine, I know Malcolm will take care of me," my trembling mother takes my cheeks in her hands and looks into my eyes.

"Never forget that I love you, even when a thousand and one things happen and you find out about so many others, never forget that you are my life." Confused by what she says, I wipes her tears.