Chapter 50: Chapter 50

~ RACHEL’S POV

"Your mystery flower boy has done it," Rebecca says walking into the room

"And what makes you think it’s a boy?" I ask sniffing the flowers. I love the smell of dahlias, so lovely and fruity; literally one of the reasons it’s my favorite flower. "It could be a girl you know," I say

"Yeah, like a girl would send you flowers every day." She scoffs

"You don’t know, maybe it’s a little girl that loves me so much and likes to send me flowers, unlike the best friend I have who never got me flowers," I say.

"My presence is way more important than a flower." She states.

I wryly roll my eyes. Whenever we talk about the mysterious flower boy she always says that. "Whatever. So, Is the car ready?" I inquire. I am getting discharged today, I cannot be anymore happier.

The past month has been nothing but a whole lot of stress and uncertainty. I just haven’t been comfortable around here and to be honest it’s not just because Richie is here or because the paparazzi have been on my neck but because I was having a hard time with all the mix-feeling going on in my head and the overthinking I kept doing. The only thing that kept me going is the free seasons of Friends I get to watch every night. Even though Friends is an old series I really love it and when I get back home I plan on continuing from where I stopped which is season seven. I have to see how Monica and Chandler's wedding goes and I have to know if Ross and Rachel were really on a break.

"Everything is ready. I just need you to get your ass and start moving." Rebecca says

"Okay, ma’am."

"Eww! Don’t call me that."

"Well don’t come command me." I roll my eyes playfully as Rebecca does the same. I stand up from the bed and tug a strand of hair behind my ear.

It’s crazy how a few weeks from now I wasn’t able to stand on my feet and how I wasn’t able to do anything, not even sleep. I was completely debilitated and in consistent agony. My body was always weak and my mind was basically clouded with fatigue and whatsoever thoughts. Everything was just too much to handle, the incident, Richie, and then the paparazzi. Each night, I would lay in bed, my eyes heavy with exhaustion, but sleep eluded me. My mind always races with worries and anxieties. It felt as though I was trapped in a never-ending cycle of physical and mental exhaustion, unable to find relief. But after days and weeks, I was finally getting better and now I feel like I’ve regained myself.

"You good?" Rebecca ask concerned as she caught me lost in my thoughts.

"Yeah," I say releasing a breath. "Yeah I’m good," I roll all thoughts out of my head.

"Okay then, you should grab your flowers and I will meet you outside." She says and walks out of the room.

I take a second to take in the fresh air. I look around the room, I’m not gonna miss this place at all. The nice nurses; I might but the room and how stressful it was for me, that’s a big no. Though I might actually miss the room because I watch Friends every night in it. Either way, I’d rather leave than stay,

With a sigh, I grab my flowers and head out of the room. I don’t know why but I have a feeling that this flower was sent by Richie, in fact, all the flowers I’ve gotten so far. But at the same time I feel I’m wrong, I mean why would he send flowers to me when we are over? Also, I hardly even see him around and whenever I do he’s always walking to his car. My hospital room window shows all going on outside. This is why anytime I’m not watching Friends I sit down and watch people move around. It’s quite fun to watch people do their daily activities and sometimes it makes me feel like a spy.

I approach the nice-looking receptionist who appears to have a smile attached to her face. Why do all receptionists smile like that? It's kind of freaky.

"Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I’m getting discharged today," I say to her

"Hello, Miss Green, please wait up while I check my computer."

"Sure."

She types something on her computer before lifting her gaze to look at me. "Ohh my gosh! My sincere apologies Miss Green I didn’t know you are Richie Maranzano’s fiancé."

With a groan, I roll my eyes, she just had to say that didn’t she?

"Would you like me to get you anything? Coffee, juice, water? Anything at all." She offers

"No thank you, I’m good. I just want to sign the discharge papers."

"Sure, sure why not." She immediately brings the paper from the cabinet. "Please feel free to take a sit and sign it and if you’re not comfortable here, I can get it delivered to your home address or anywhere you want."

"No thank you, that will not be necessary." I say as I try to turn the paper around she does it for me immediately. I rake an eyebrow at her, she’s acting way too weird. I know Richie is famous and all but come on this is too much.

The receptionist's smile broadens which looks even more weird than before. I turn my face away and ask "Can I please use your l pen?"

"Yeah sure why not." She says and hands me a pen.

"Thanks."

"You’re welcome." She awkwardly stares at me as I sign the paper. "I hope you enjoyed your stay?"

"Not a hotel or anything like that but yeah, it’s not that bad." I say as I turn the paper to face her.

"Thanks for signing, a soft copy of this will be sent to your email."

"Thank you…." I pause to look at her name tag "Amy, thanks, Amy."

"My pleasure." She responds; smiling.

I return the smile, and as I turn around I see Richie standing next to me.

"Hi, Rach." He says, smiling.

"Hi," I respond trying to avoid eye contact.

"You look great."

I put on a phony smile and move past him. Taking a few steps away from him, I take in breaths as I try to wave over the strange feeling I felt when I saw him. I don’t know what gets into my head whenever I see or think of Richie. This insane yet beautiful thought comes curling into my head and I just can’t handle it.

My thoughts come to a halt when I hear footsteps sounding behind me. I don’t turn around because I know it’s Richie and I don’t want to talk to him.

I continue to ignore the footstep as it draws

closer and closer. I turn as soon as I hear the footstep just a few inches away. "Could you please stop following-" I halt mid-sentence as I look at the person behind me, it’s not Richie. It’s a male nurse.

The nurse looks at me, his brow is raised and he seems a little confused.

"Sorry, I thought you were-"

"Me" Richie completes the sentence as he walks towards me. Taking another step closer to me, the nurse walks away.

"Rach I-"

"I gotta go." I say cutting him off

Turning around to leave, he holds my hand making me turn to look at him. I immediately tug my hand away from him.

"I just wanna talk, Rach." He says; his voice calm and firm. I don’t respond to him and as he takes a step closer to me, I step backward with my gaze facing the ground.

"Rach." He reaches his hand to touch me but I move away. "I’m sorry." He says

I release a breath, I knew he was going to say that and I can’t accept his apology and I’m certainly not going to be able to forgive him. I don’t respond and I turn to leave but before I could he clasps my hand and pulls me into his chest using his strong arms to hold me firm against him. I stare at him, wide-eyed and confused.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I try to free myself from his hold. His arm is firmly locked around my waist.

"I missed times like this." He says as he stares at my face with great intensity. I immediately lower my gaze not wanting to get my eyes fixed in his. It’s been so long since I stood this close to Richie and yet it feels the same; hot and comforting. It’s crazy how his presence makes me feel all fuzzy inside. I try to wiggle a little in his arms to get free, but Richie is stronger than I am, so all my efforts are in vain.

Richie smiles and reaches to tug a strand of hair behind my ear but I immediately move my head away from his touch. "What’s wrong Rach? Are you scared of me?" I hear a slight pain in his voice.

"No," I say still looking down

"Then why can’t you look at me? Why do you wince at my every touch?"

I take my time to respond "Let go of my hand… please." I plead

With a sigh, he says "You can’t even say my name, can you? Is that how mad you are? Is that how much you hate me?" He inquires; his voice streams with emotion. "Rach, you’re allowed to be sad, but don’t hurt yourself while you do that. I know I messed up, I know I did so much wrong and-" He halts releasing a deep breath

"I’m sorry Rach."

I sigh and slowly lift my head to face him. I am about to speak when Richie's phone starts to ring which makes him lose focus and gives me a chance to get away from him.

Getting free from his hold, I look at him. I want to tell him that I don’t hate him. I want to tell him how much I missed him and how much I want things to work out between us but I can’t. I rather hide those feelings inside of me than let them out.

Richie had no idea what his presence does to me. I feel intoxicated around him, all I can think of is his arms wrapped around my body and his sweet voice whispering loving things to my ears. I wish he knew all that then he will realize that I feel no hatred towards him. I turn back to look at him; he doesn’t look the same anymore, he looks devastated and I couldn’t help but notice how heavy his eyes are. I guess he didn’t have enough sleep. With a sigh, I turn around and walk out of the hospital.

I’m sorry Richie but the best way of not hating you is to let you go.