Chapter 20: Chapter 20

Early in the morning, Allan and I are at the hospital, waiting for the doctor after I made the pregnancy test. Am anxious while Allan is trying to calm me as much as possible.

" And if am pregnant Allan?" I ask.

" Then you will stop everything, Lea you must do that for your child.

" But Allan and you?"

" Lea! You one day sacrifice yourself by choosing between the love of Derick and my life and you finally choose my life. Now you can't leave a new life for someone who is on his way to die, cause this is reality...I will die and your child will be born."

The door opens and the doctor enters excusing herself about her late coming. She presents to us the results.

" Should I open it for you?" The doctor asks.

" Allan, can you open it?" I ask.

He agrees and takes the document, opens it gently, and reads. He smiles and looks at me.

" Congratulations Leaticia, you are pregnant of already two weeks!" Allan says.

" Congratulations!" The doctor replies.

A big smile hangs on my lips, I open largely my arms and embrace Allan hardly. I am full of joy, a new life is growing inside me, he is the new beginning between Derick and me, our new destiny, our life. At first, I was troubled by the situation but after reflection, being a mother was what I dreamed of especially the baby of the man I love. Am sure he will be glad of the good news, I will hurry and tell him right now.

We get out of the hospital and enter Allan's car.

" So what is the next step?" Allan ask.

" I want him to know am pregnant. When we were in South Africa, he and I were always talking about our future and our children. How we will get married and how many children we will have. He always wanted a girl for first child cause he dreamed of having a junior sister to protect her." I said with glimmering eyes and with a smile before realizing I was talking to Allan." Am sorry Allan, I don't know why am telling you all this."

" Don't worry! I love seeing you so happy and I hope Derick will take this opportunity well!"

" Let's go am so excited to see his reaction!"

We start up the car, and we ride to the hotel. All the way I couldn't stop talking about my future beginning. We arrive at the hotel and I get to Derick's room rapidly.

Already at the door, I can see it halfy open. I open gradually the door and see the worse thing ever imagine in front of me. Shocked by what am seeing I leave the paper handling my results on the floor and stay in front of them trying to analyze what is happening. I am speechless and amazed at this appalling spectacle. Derick kissing another woman was the last thing I could imagine. Derick shakes off the girl quickly before noticing my presence. Watching him disgusts me, my heart squeezes and my throat becomes dry, I have no words, I feel like I am undoing with all my strength.

" Lea... Lea… Lea… what are you doing here? Please… please I can tell you everything." He says nervously.

I continue looking at him more and more disgusted, is that all what he has to say?

" Please, that's not what you think..." He says.

He tries to approach me but my nerfs was about to blow off and I slap him to wind out my anger.

" Lea!" He says trying to touch me.

I move away from him not to touch me.

" Don't - touch - me. Don't ever you touch me again."

" Lea please listen to me."

" Who are you?" I ask the elegant girl behind him.

" Am sorry but am the one who should ask you this. Am Derick's fiancee and you?" The girl sayd.

I couldn't spare what I heard, what has she just said?

" Shut up please!" Derick yells.

" Am nobody! I realize am nobody for him." I said deceived and on my way to cry.

" Lea…"

" You are engaged… congratulations…" I say looking at the girl and see luggage on his bed. " And on your way to go with her." More and more deceived by the situation.

" Yes… I mean no. Am going back to the USA to clarify everything, she came here I didn't know. I was on my way to tell you, yesterday I had to tell you everything but Taylor told me you didn't want to talk…"

" Lies…"

" Is the truth Lea…"

" Lies…" I say sobbing and hitting his chest hardly while shouting. " Liar! liar! liar! If you wanted to, then you would call me!" I yell.

" Lea… Lea please give me the benefits of doubt."

" Shut up! You don't merit anything from me. You are engaged with another girl, you were on your way to go without telling me."

" I would come to you before going."

" And what would you tell me? That you have a fiancee? Am not sure you would tell me the truth, you are just a liar. You got engaged with a girl without telling me...and you accused me of engaging another man despite the reasons I had… you are such a sadist!"

" … Lea please let's talk!"

" Talk with you? So that you promise me again to come back and that I should wait for you all my life? I have done everything possible for you, I was even on my way to stop everything for you meanwhile Allan is the only one who merits my sacrifices." I say still sobbing.

" I love you .. and I don't know where to start to excuse myself for hiding you all this." He says trying to touch me again.

" Don't even try to touch me or to justify yourself."

" Lea let's sit and I promise I will tell you what you want!"

" STOP! STOP! STOP! Lying. You made me so many promises and never respected them, one of them was never to make me cry. But since I met you, I never stop crying and seeing you going far from me, so am not sure if you go now...it will hurt me again."

I say bending to take my results and get out of the room while running. He is still behind me, trying to catch me. I take the elevator before him and all I want is never to see him. Am tired of suffering, tired of him, his promises, and rather of waiting for him. I crouch down on the floor and think over and over again with tears in my eyes not wanting to calm myself down. I wanted to cry until no one sees it and get out of here with my head held high to forget everything.

The elevator opens and I see him again. I get out and walk rapidly to the entry hall to join Allan, but unfortunately, he held me.

"Leave me!" I say dragging my hand from his control.

" Lea I love you! Have you heard? I will never love any girl than you, can't you imagine my love for you is hellish."

" Admit, you don't love me, Derick, cause the Derick who loved me would never lie to me, would never hurt me, or even make me cry for such things. You don't love me, you force yourself to love me. I curse you and I curse the day we met." I say.

" Lea!"

" Is finish, Derick," I say running to Allan's car.

I enter rapidly with tears running all over my eyes.

" Bring me very far Allan, very far!" I order sadly.

He agrees and rides on.

All that I wanted was to build up a new life, was to succeed in peace, was to wait for him and have him for my entire life but life insists on reminding me that happiness has to be earned, so does that mean that I don't deserve to be happy, what have I done wrong? or did I get it all wrong? did I love badly? my friend! my best friend is leaving, and my love lied to me. The only good side is my child, yes this child who is the fruit of our love, a love which unfortunately is unreal, false, and bruised now.

Allan brought me to the high park of Toronto, I remember we used to come here when we had to rest, think or plan for our future. Allan is my true friend, somewhere in my mind I needed to come to a place like that and he brought me here. He is sitting beside me waiting for me to open my mouth.

" You knew everything!" I say still looking at the trees.

" Yes, but as I told you I wasn't the right person to tell you."

" He lie me, he is engaged, he will go and leave me and I will remain as stupid as I am for loving a man who only knows how to make me wait."

" Don't say that, think about your child."

" Yes my child…" I say caressing my stomach gently. " He merits a family and a good father, " I turn and look at Allan " and you are the perfect one for us."

" ...Lea! What are you saying?" He says while looking at me trouble.

" I will get married to you, I will continue cause you merit my love more than anyone. I may be crazy telling you this but, My child also merits to have a father and no one than you could give him the paternal love he merits. Allan, please accept I need it."

" I don't think is a right idea."

" Surely, but is my decision."

I hug Allan with a few tears and continue pleasing him. He accepts and caresses my hair slowly while calming me then I thank him and lie my head on his laps while he continues carressing my hairs.

Am sure is preferable like that.