Chapter 63: Chapter 63

: The sun

****

2 months later

The day looked gloomy and sad it kinda matched my mood. Today I feel like a storm a lot of emotions churning in my gut as I stared at the packed suitcases in the boot of my car.

The last two months was a tough growth finally coming to terms with the miscarriage, staying with my mom for a while apart from Ayomide.

I got alerts every week presumably for me and the children's upkeep and he came to Ibadan weekly to see the twins while maintaining a healthy distance from me.

He was angry and hurt!

I kept acting like a child and I knew it, he showed up thrice at the hospital until I was discharged but I stubbornly  refused to talk to him on all three occasions, So he stopped coming and stopped talking to me giving me the space I so badly needed but what good did it do all it left was the big gaping hole in my chest.

My mom stared at me as my load was been loaded into the car, I was leaving Nigeria today. After a long time I was ready to begin my surgical residency in California, Twice I tried summoning the courage to call him and tell him of my choice but since I started processing my visa to leave  one month ago I haven't.

"My dear! Are you sure about this leaving your husband and your home and going back over there" My mum asked looking worried.

"Yes mum. I need this fresh start I really do and I have always wanted yo do my residency." I said for the umpteenth time.

"But what of your marriage, your home? How can you just leave it to that stranger woman. We both know your husband loves you even if you are too stubborn to see it now, but leaving to another continent with your children in a strange land. Is this how far you'll go in your marriage because I wont support you divorcing your husband you just need to work it out!" She advised again arranging the collar of my shirt while giving me the tender look I will forever miss.

"How mum? Where do I start from? His mother, his baby mama, the miscarriage I know isn't his fault but I blame him for, I feel like so many things has happened we cant just go back to who we were, carefree and in love. Mum I don't see my self as a woman who can stay with a man who broke my trust I really don't." My voice portraying the strength I lacked in real life.

"Temitope! Please listen to me, I don't buy this idea of you leaving him to another woman because of this issue why don't you just forgive him and move on? A wise woman builds her own home not tear apart! Week in week out I have seen him play with this children and they also miss their father, If you wont do it for you what about the children!" She cautioned again.

I shrugged lightly, the sun refused to shine today. You see some of us centers our enter life on people who walk in, after Matt I anchored my all on him and I trusted with my all even when I saw warning signs he asked me to trust and I did.

But you see just like the sun missing today my anchor is gone. I cant lean on him again and if I cant what marriage do we truly have?

Matt may have hurt my body and pride reducing me to the littlest of me possible but I was once the other woman to another man's husband, maybe this is my plate of karma and I refuse to believe I deserve it.

"Mummy if he will cut her out of his life I am ready to go back to him, but I wont stay comfortably with that woman in his life, I really cant. He has refused to cut her off what do I do hmm? Why cant I ever be his choice too? " I shouted

The smack on my shoulder was almost like she wanted what she wanted to say to sink in "What of the innocent child that doesn't know or deserve to be hated for how she was conceived. What man will he be if he turns his back on his own flesh and blood"

"What about me? I don't want to be selfish too, I shouldn't have to choose also but I have to. Mummy please I have made up my mind and I don't want to be late for my flight" Hissing softly.

She looked worried still but pulled me into a thick motherly love "I hope this choice makes you happy because there is nothing that gladdens my heart more than that. For a long time you have been strong all by yourself I hope you remember that you are not alone"

Tears stung the edge of my eyes as she spoke, This was my home and no one will take it from me.

We were all settled in and the plane was about to take off with the pilot giving the usual commands over the sound system when my phone pinged with a text.

Hot CEO_ You left me! I hope you know that it was you who left me and it was you who let go! Nothing will deny me rights to see my children keep that also in mind. Christopher"

I don't know which hurt more the contents of the text or the fact that he signed his name at the bottom almost to make it ass official as it could be.

Finally we went From enemies, friends, lovers, parents to being Familiar strangers.

What an insane journey  about to begin on my own

******

Chris

I stared at mother and daughter snuggled on the couch with my mom fawning over them. My daughter was a month old already now. She was a replica of her mother in everything worthy.

"Sophie Jadesola Olugbenga" was her name. The last two months I tried to do the only thing I could accept that my wife left me and get to know the child I brought into the world.

I knew when she left today! Till the very end she still said nothing to me. The depth of the distance between us scares me sometimes but it is something I have come to accept.

The ache which I have constantly  tried to bury but I'm always reminded of stays with me. Its there when my mind randomly thinks about her, her sassy mouth, and those little things that made Us and our time together memorable.

You don't truly forget I think you just suppress and move on and hope that someday it wont hurt as much as it used to.

I moved away from the hallway where I stood staring at them for a while to lie in my wing of my parents home.

Taking Nina and the baby to the house felt weird, almost like I was betraying the memory of what we shared so that wasn't an option. While I worked on getting a place for them they had to stay here  as they needed all the assistance they could get from my mom.

I lie on the bed feeling tired. I knew they should have probably landed by now as they still had a security team watching and reporting their every move but I restricted myself from checking her file now. In the first month of separation it was an addiction. So i tried to busy myself with other stuffs than pictures of her after all, all they do is torment and mock me more.

I must have fallen asleep but I knew when Nina entered she had her own room but I wondered why she was here.

"Chris" She said so gently.

"What is it" I mumbled.

"How long will you keep acting like a stranger with me" twisting her fingers the way she usually did when she was nervous looking vulnerable.

I don't know if she was faking the vulnerability but right now I really did not even care.

So as a reply I just said nothing with my eyes still closed. She moved to lie down beside me and only then did I open my eyes, and I instantly regretted it for there she was standing in the most transparent night wear I have ever seen. It was almost like she was standing naked before me!

Oh lord!