Chapter 62: Chapter 62

: Liar

******

I lie to myself and I, I can't handle it

Why do I waste so much time on things that I can't fix?

All these things I hold inside I just can't forget

Thought that I could let this go

But I didn't know that it will be like this _Like this (NF)

****

Digest this lyric o you'll understand why as you read!

NO POV

All I've been doing in the last two days is sleep! I feel drained and constantly, a part of me knows my baby is gone the other part doesn't want to accept it.

He is here! Mum told me when I woke up, also said he has been here for some time sitting in the hallway waiting for me.

The time on the clock at the other end of the clock chimed 8pm. He has been sitting out there for almost 13 hours straight and He could leave stay or enter and it wont make a difference.

I was going down a spiral in my head My husband, baby, my sanity.

"Ifemi (my love) you need to at least talk to your husband. He is still your husband and the father of your children, give him a chance" She pleaded.

"Ok" looking blankly.

My back was still against the door when he entered but I knew when he did.

He sat on the chair which my mum just vacated in front of me. He looked tired with puffy eyes, dressed in his usual all black. Black tee and shades with a leather jacket to weather the cold. I was looking at him today and not seeing the man I love. He was just a stranger yet so familiar.

For a long while he sat in front of me his hands clutching mine that lay on the bed.

He looked so vulnerable "Temi"

Moments of silence followed and he bent his head down allowing it to touch the bed at the meeting point of where he held my hand.

"Please talk to me. How you feeling?" Chris asked worry lines making his brows tight.

"I'm okay" Pamela answered.

He pushed his hands into his bushy hair and gripped the ends, something he usually did when he was frustrated or agitated.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry I wasn't there for you!" He whispered.

"Its fine" She replied staring at the open space beside him.

He dropped his head back to the edge of the bed not knowing what to say or how to make her feel better.

"I hate seeing you look like this, the light in your eyes is gone. You keep staring at me but I wonder if you can even see me. My love, please don't bottle this in I beg you"

"Why are you looking at me with so much pity? I am tired I want to sleep again" she replied.

"I'm not going home without you this time. I know you are hurting but I refuse to let us continue to stay apart. We can only survive this together because I'm a mess without you, I miss thee kids so bad I don't want to be an absentee father." His eyes shone with regret as he spoke.

It will be easy if there was still that part of her that always resonated with him.

"Will you say the same when you know I aborted the baby?" Pamela asked as blank as she could.

Chris jerked his head up and sat ramrod straight on the bedside chair.

"Liar" he whispered.

"Liar" again.

She turned away from him this time facing the door.

"Why will you lie to me? Because you want to hurt me also? Or because you want to push me away from you? How do you expect me to believe you? I know you and its something you will never do!" he shouted loudly.

The veins in his neck and face popped up as he shouted.

"Look at me Pamela, tell me how you expect me to believe you? The medical report shows miscarriage due to stress and blunt trauma" He said this time walking round the bed to the other side to face her.

"Stop shouting at me! We are in the hospital" she said.

"Then tell me something believable."He shouted again

"Do you really think if I wanted to I couldn't I'm a medical Doctor for God's sake or have you forgotten how we made this baby in the first place. I wasn't emotionally ready or prepared for it. Plus they only wrote what they think it was! Why did you think I didn't call you to tell you hmm?"

"Liar" he said slowly this time, his eyes screaming raw pain.

"Liar" Pamela's subconscious mocked.

"Do you truly want this to be over between us that you will lie to me like this?" His voice broke a little as he spoke and for the first time that evening she saw the hurting man.

"Yes."

"Is this really how far you can go with me Temitope?" He asked again.

"Yes. I did not want another kid to tie me down to you, it is easier to take care of two kids alone than three you know?"

For a little while after she spoke he crouched down bending with his heads in his palms.

It felt weird seeing the usual tall proud man looking anything but impeccable but it fed the deeper part within her, she wanted him to hurt! She wanted him to burn! For continuing whatsoever it was he had with that lady after she left!

So Pamela stared out as plainly as she could, she felt cold all over down to her heart.

Chris bent down there for a long while not knowing whether to get up to leave or to shake some sense into her because it couldn't possibly be true, she was the beautiful part of everything good she wouldn't do it, but why did this pain hold his heart in its tight grip.

"I love you" was all he could whisper!

"I have made my shares of mistakes in this marriage but it is you that I love."He added.

She shrugged her shoulder like his confession didn't matter.

"I am tired I want to sleep" shutting her eyes tightly.

As she lay down there eyes closed she knew he was still bent over there, she knew he was staring at her, also when he got up to kiss her forehead and when he walked out the door.

"Take care My love" he said as he turned the hand of the hospital door.

As he walked out the ice she built around her hurt was slowly crumbling letting in the hurt and the pain.

The tears slipped out of her eyes which she shut tightly.

"I am sorry! But im a broken woman now Ill only pull you down into my sea of self hatred and bitterness. If I let you go maybe just maybe you'll be truly happy now." She whispered into the thin air she left behind.

He was right the light in her eyes were gone.

Oh Temitope you Liar!