Chapter 40: Chapter 40

: The stars in her eyes

***

Chris

I felt out of my body when I woke up.

I also felt spent!

My head was aching, my throat dry and thirsty.

My heart was pounding fast.

A familiar shame was rising up within me.

I felt her hands on my waist first! Everything around me feels strange.

I opened my eyes to white ceilings that had stars drawn on them.

Our bedroom didn't have stars.

Temi had perfectly brown skin, the hand that was thrown around him was light skinned.

JESUS CHRIST!

Shooting up from the bed when realisation dawned on him.

No! No! No! God please hell no!.

He pulled off the coverlet from his body and hers.

They were naked!

They weren't just naked, they had sex last night!

Jesus Christ!

He shot up from the bed and he saw the tell tale sign.

The twisted sheets.

The evidence of his ejaculation and arousal on him and on the sheets.

The feeling in his loins, now he knew why he felt spent.

Jesus Christ!

He had sex with Nina last night.

He couldn't bear to look at her or wake her up or even touch her.

One solid thought pounded through him.

He cheated!

The revulsion and shame that coursed through him at that moment couldn't compare to the self anger and immense fear.

God, his wife!

His family!

How could he!

As he looked for his clothe to put them on. As feelings clawed through him.

The glitter of his wedding band against the morning ray of sun mocked him, and he took his time to stare at the band. The physical representation of his vows, of his promise to her, of his love.

He needed a shower, maybe if he could wash himself from the grime of last night, he would feel less disgusted with himself.

He found his phone on the sitting chair and saw four missed calls.

Temi (4)

His wife must have been calling him last night while he lay in between the legs of another woman.

He remembered driving down here, eating take out, laughing and watching a series. He remembered her leaning in for a kiss, and how he kissed her. How for a second there he  thought about how she was more beautiful than his wife.

Also about how their arms roamed around each others body, how he couldn't control himself when her hand dipped into the band of his trousers.

Then his head started aching! That was how far he could remember.

He didn't know how they ended up in bed, but he knew they had sex.

He could feel it in his gut.

With every memory that came back came a wave of nausea and he staggered outside barely making it out before he started throwing up.

He threw up on the flower pot which stood beside the door.

He threw up until his gut knew there was nothing else to bring back up.

The taste in his mouth was vile, his throat was closing down on him he suddenly couldn't breathe well.

He stayed in that position for a while, his legs failing him every time he tried to get up.

Nina must have noticed his absence because she suddenly came out and met him seated near her flower pot.

"Chris are you okay?" She asked worriedly.

She stretched forth her hands to touch his forehead, a gesture which she must have done million off times before today but this time he flinched.

Not wanting her to touch him, not wanting to know how her touch felt.

She noticed and a sad look sat in her eyes. If it was every other day he would have brought himself to care but today he couldn't help but feel nothing.

"Let me get you water, you'll feel better." She went in to get some.

While he bent there staring into solace overcome by guilt.

Nina came back with the water and he drank some of it, his gut churning to accept the presence of some succor the water gave.

Nina's eye watered seeing him in that state.

"Chris please let's talk."she offered.

"No not right now" He replied getting up and walking to his car.

Chris sat in the jeep he drove down here wishing for a split second i t was the masserati or Lamborghini. At least he will be able to run faster than this, faster than all that was haunting him today.

*****

The wall clock in their parlour chimed 10 o'clock.  The twins were still with his parents and he couldn't go to work.

He stumbled into their room, his eyes landing on the bed and a familiar bible quote mocked him.

"Marriage is sweet with the bed undefiled"

He pulled off everything he was wearing making a mental note to burn them all, and entered the bathroom.

He stood under the showers and did not know how long he washed or stood there. He remembered staying there years ago every time big mama was done with him.

The shame was familiar.

His light brown African American skin was sore from the constant scrubbing.

Tears stung his eyes as his body hit the edge of the wall. Where the hot water ended and the cold water began he didn't know, all he felt was the jets hitting his body. Goose pimples sat on his raw skin in response to the cold and only when water stopped pouring did he notice that he cried.

********

He was burning up, he wanted to keep sleeping.

He really wanted to sleep for a very long time, so who was calling?

Temi!

The familiar ringtone she set for only herself after their argument a while back hit him continuously.

She called thrice and he couldn't bring himself to pick.

She stopped calling.

The phone rang again and it was Nina this time.

He ignored her call also.

Minutes later his mother was calling.

Then one of his branch managers.

Then Nina again.

He wished they would all leave him alone. Even if it was for a little while.

Three hours later after drifting in and out of sleep, He woke up.

He stared at the empty space beside him and a familiar longing for the best part of his life tugged at him.

God how he missed her!

Did he deserve to even feel this way for her?

His phone rang again the screen lighting up and she was calling.

He needed to hear her voice she always brought one kind of calm into his life right from the very beginning.

She was his undeserved hope.

He picked the phone bringing it closer to his ears.

"Hello" he croaked out.

"Baby! Where have you been? Been trying to reach you? Are you okay? Guess what" she rambled all at once.

He smiled! Excitement shone from her voice and she was happy.

"What?"

"I just saw my first live conjoined twins surgery. We were supposed to be watching while it was streamed but Shola pulled a favour and I sat up in the theatres galley. Oh my world it was beautiful. They both survived you know, I love internal medicine but I love surgery more baby. How it feels to cut into someone and dig your hands into their body. Weird right?" She chuckled at the last part.

I will give everything to have her continuing talking. Walking down the altar with this woman I knew her love could heal me. Lying down on this bed it suddenly became clear to me only her love can save me.

A notification popped up about her trying to video call me. I closed all the windows and put of the light so she couldn't see me.

I was hiding away.

It made sense now why Adam and Eve hid themselves after disobeying God. There is this dirtiness sin brings it makes you feel like you are unworthy of light.

Her beautiful face popped up. God she was beautiful!

She most have done something to her hair because it was shinning through the camera. Her skin looked different she looked happy.

"Why is it so dark over there. Aren't you at work?" She asked worried.

"Nope. I'm home"

I knew when she noticed the change. She always knew when something was wrong with me. Maybe it was the perks of being soulmates but she did

"What's wrong with you Ayomi" she called fondly. Worry line making its way to  her small mouth.

"Nothing" I lied.

And it began, why they always said "all cheaters were liars"

The moment you cheat you always lie to cover it up.

"Liar" She replied even more worried.

"Pull the curtains, drapes and switch on the light. I want to see your face." She commanded.

"The light is making my head ache" I replied.

I wasn't lying this time it really was.

"So I leave you six days and you are sick hmmn? Just six days" she taunted.

"Anyway I'm at the airport and on my way home. I convinced Shola to stay behind and fall in love with surgery again. But I miss you too much, I can't stay away anymore. I miss my babies too. Where are they?" She asked.

"My mums place. She will have taken them to school."

"Oh okay. You sound off, I'll ask Ben drive a doctor home to check up on you"

"No. Never mind I'll just sleep it off"

I don't want to see anyone now anyway!

"Anyway guess what I got for you." She said trying to cheer me up.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"I got you negligee!" She chuckled then continue "okay I got myself negligee those type you like. So you get to see me in then" she giggled naughtily again.

My throat was closing again and tears stung my eyes. I couldn't imagine ever telling her.

It will break her!

It will break us!

He wasn't even sure he could handle loosing her!

So as I listened to her chatter on and on, I decided right there and then not to ever tell her what happened.

********

Chris stood in the tarmac of the airport waiting for the love of his life.

Black jean, black shirt, black shades and black boots. He was clad solely in black!

The attire fit his somber and reflective mood. His honey eyes that his beneath those shades searched for her as passengers began alighting.

Then he saw her! Her courier behind her bringing loads of boxes.

His heart tugged as emotions clogged his throat.

He wanted to go to her, he wanted to loose himself in her. He needed the solace that always came in her arms.

Feet's apart from him she launched into a mini sprint her curls bouncing behind her and he stretched his arms open to receive her.

Strangers around them  smiled st our public display of affection.

He was just a man who was home and didn't care.

After a few minutes, she raised her head from his chest hitting him playfully.

"Your babe is back" Smiling.

Her eyes shone brightly, filled with love, trust and joy. It was almost like there were stars in her eyes.

As we drove down the streets of Lagos to pick the twins from my mother.

I felt like a haunted man.

******

This is my most emotional